I have mention once or twice before that after I graduated High School and thought I knew everything about fucking everything. Instead of making the smart decision to go to Collage My buddies (The Arminian and His long time Girlfriend E) and I decided to try our hand at Drug Dealing. Now This was a Time before the Prescription Pill (Xanax, Vicodin, Oxycontin, Valium, and all that Man Mad madness began. Also its’ important to point out We didn’t sell Hardcore Street Drugs so We didn’t deal Heroin, Crack, or Cocaine.
We dealt Marijuana (which is NOT A DRUG but it was Illegal at the Time as California had been to that point the ONLY State that had approved Legal medical Marijuana) LSD in both Blotter & Liquid, Magic Mushrooms, Angel Dust, Ecstasy, a little PCP, and Meth which was a quite few Years away from becoming the National Epidemic it has become today. I mean the first time We decided to sell it (it just called Crystal way back when), and I had no fucking idea what it was. I had done Speed/Crank before, but like I said this was in the very early days of Meth.
One of Our biggest Hits if you will was some Highly Potent Blotter Acid called Black Magic. It was called Black Magic because one side was of course plain white and the reverse side had an insanely intricately detailed swirling tribal like Pattern in Black. This was the Acid that I mentioned in another post that was so goddamn strong we cut the Normal sized Hits in Half and sold the Halves as Wholes without complaint from a single customer.
This was of course a great advantage since we were going to Double our profit Margin. Also it may seem weird to most people but believe it or not most Drug Dealers do have feelings, and care to some degree about Their clients/Clientele. We were very glad We had personally tried The Black Magic (as a Quality Test) before selling a single dose to anyone. If We had for whatever reason sold Regular standard sized Hits of Black Magic We would have been ridden with Guilt and racked with worry at selling such a powerful Hallucinogenic Product to utterly unsuspecting Buyers.
Every Dealer has the same categories of Clients. There are the Regulars who You see frequently and are more social with, and then There are the Big Fish Who Buy in Bulk because they’re not just looking to Party this weekend, but for an entire year of Weekends. Then You have the once an a while acquaintances who buy off You intermittently, and of course You have the Chumps who are the sad sacks who get exploited by Their dealers because They’re ignorant and more over usually obnoxiously Annoying. They’re essentially Narcotic Nerds for lack of a better term.
Our to Chumps being due to a small town were also ironically regulars, but they just so happened to be a grade or so behind us. To keep Our strangle Hold on the High School Sales Market We had a Friend of Ours Cid (like Acid minus the A) who too was a year behind us. We all really adored the shit out of Cid the guy was Sarcastically Absurd and insanely fucking funny.
Cid was also Loyal and would never Narc Us out if the shit hit the Fan. Also He was trustworthy as Hell I mean He’d pretty much have to be right?! I mean We had to intrust Him with Our drugs AND Our Money in good Faith. And for His part Cid never fucked around with Our product, and His cash counts were NEVER even a Nickel Off.
So when We got Our hands on the Black Magic We figured when it came to Our Dipshit Duo We could (if the plan was successful) triple our Money dealing to these Two Tools. Our Plan was very simplistic indeed. We would Sell them One Half Hit of the Black Magic, and a Second Dose that was entirely fucking fake. Since the Chumps hand’t heard about the New Batch of Acid, We would tell Them the fakes were the last of Our previous batch, and that gave us another advantage when it came to our plan. The whole plan was based on the belief that if the Two Turds took BOTH hits They’d never know one was fake.
To make the Fake Hits We cut Open a Letter Envelope the kind with the Safety Design on the inside so You couldn’t hold it up to the Light and see what it was (like say a check for example). To add authenticity We used the Serrated Side of a fucking Butter Knife to create the perforation that so many People were familiar with (Our never came Perforated. It was just one solid Sheet of Blotter Paper), and then applied the slightest mix of Pure Lemon Juice Extract and Table Salt to lend to Authenticity though I have no fucking idea why. None of the Hundreds of Doses of Various Kinds of LSD have never had a taste or residual taste as the case may be.
Once We were done We called Cid who came over and we informed Him of the Plan at Hand when it came to dealing to the Two Twits which He thought was imaginative and Hilarious. And that was that after We told Cid what was up He left with His supplies and said He’d see Us in a couple of Days. A Couple of Days passed on by and true to His word Cid called and said He’d be stopping by Shortly to settle up.
When Cid arrived We ushered Him into the Apartment, handed Him a Beer, and asked what was going on. Cid got a dumb founded look on His face which startled not to mention concerned Us since We assumed the Face was indicative of some shitty issue We would have to deal with. Cid took a minute to comprise Himself before answering. Cid then went on to Tell Us that the Two Twats had taken the Bait hook, Line, and Sinker. Cid then put our minds at ease when He confirmed that Our Marks hadn’t figured out the Scam, but that wasn’t all Cid said.
Apparently Chump One in fact did as we perceived He’d do and took Both Hits (I’m not sure if it was actually at the same time or one after the other in an overlapping situation) and was Obliviously Happy. Here’s where it gets fucking really kind of fucking weird. The Second Chump only took the FAKE hit, but instead of discovering Our scam and getting pissed off He had approached Cid requesting MORE OF THE FAKE ACID.
After racking Our brains in complete confusion as We sat Dumbfounded by what We had just heard, and Cid didn’t fuck around when it came to Business so We knew He wasn’t messing with Us. In the End We had come up with only two possible scenarios that could possibly explain what had in fact happened.
ONE it was the simple BUT EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE Placebo Effect. This means (even though the Acid the Guy took was 100% fucking fake) because He BELIEVED it was real He thought He experienced the Effects of LSD though He had ingested NONE.
TWO was a bit tricker to figure out as a possible explanation. The only other thing that could justify this odd occurrence was that after taking the Hit the Second Chump DID realize it was fake BUT decided not to mention it because He may have been to afraid to do it (and might have been pressured into it by His Friend the Other Chump in question), and was relieved to find out it was Fake. That way He would have avoided any fear he had of doing LSD, and since No one was the wiser He could also get the credit if you will for taking LSD.
Yet to this Day None of Us truly know what the fuck the Second Chump’s true intentions were in this, and chances are We never fucking Will.
Thanks For Reading,
By Les Sober