Tag: Police chase

The Motorcycle Fiasco

Since I along with the Rest of the World have a Great Deal more Down Time I have been reflecting on the Past a Bit. Yesterday in Fact I remembered the Story of The Motorcycle Fiasco, and Now I’m going to Tell It.

A Life Time Ago when I was in fucking High School My Two Best Friends where Bluejetski (whom I have Mention Before) and the other was Tuck. Tuck was the first one of Us to Get His Driver’s License and have an Actual Car. Unfortunately Tuck was a Hell of a Mechanic and Great at Starting Projects, but He was also a Procrastinator who Never seemed to Finish whatever He had Started. So While Tuck had a Kick Ass Camaro and a License the Car Remained Inoperable languishing in the Driveway. I wouldn’t be fucking surprised if the very same fucking Camaro is sitting at the Top of the Driveway at Tuck’s Parents House (Tuck I heard indeed up buying His Parents House when They Retired to New Mexico or Some other Cowboy State) to this very fucking Day.

One Day the Three of US were walking Home from some Girl’s House We went to School with who was Friends with Tuck. In the Girl’s Neighborhood there was what was Referred to as “The Biker House” because Not Only were the Owners Die Hard Hardcore Bikers, but so were Their Friends/Associates who there all the time that They might of Well Lived There (and Some more than Likely Did at One Point or Another). One this Particular Day a Buch of the Bikers had taken up Residence on the Front Lawn in Cheap Ass Beach Chairs with a Big Ass Cooler of Beer. Some of the Bikers present were in the Garage with the Door wide Open standing around a Motorcycle while Drinking Beer and Bullshitting.

           

There was also a Generic Looking Motorcycle parked Horizontally on the Lawn for whatever reason. As soon as Tuck laid Eyes on the Parked Motorcycle He became Infatuated with it, and Actually stopped Dead in His Tracks. As We Stood there watching Tuck Staring Intently at the Motorcycle while Middle of the Road One of the Bikers Acknowledged Our Presence and Called Out, and Tuck instantly responded to the Greeting Enthusiastically. Tuck walked up the Drive Way and Started talking to the Bikers congregating in the Garage for a While. Bluejetski and Myself remained standing by the Curb trying to Awkwardly figure out what the fuck Tuck was Up To Exactly. It didn’t take Long before We found Out.

All of a Sudden Tuck laughing shook several of the BIker’s Hands, walked over to the aforementioned Motorcycle, Grabs the Handlebars, Kicks Up the Stand, and Started Walking the Bike dow the Driveway towards Us. Apparently Tuck had inquired about the Motorcycle in Question and had managed to Buy it for a Whopping $50 from One of the Biker’s. No again this Wasn’t a Harley or an Indian nor was it some Asian Crotch Rocket it was just a Simple and Generic Looking Motorcycle. In Fact I don’t recall ever learning what Company did in fact make Tuck’s Motorcycle, but if I had to Guess The Motorcycle was a Small Company Leftover from the 70’s or Early 80’s. Most important of All the Motorcycle Tuck bought was in Fine Work Order and Ran Great so it wasn’t Destined to Sit Next to the Camaro for Eternity.

           

Once We returned to Tuck’s House We asked what He planned to do with His Newly Acquired Motorcycle seeing as it was running, But Not Street Legal by any means. Tuck informed Us He planned to Ride the Motorcycle as a New Hobby though He wasn’t going to get a Legal Motorcycle License, and He wan’t going to get a Insurance since He didn’t deem it Necessary. Lastly He wasn’t going to get a Legal Motorcycle License Plate for it either. When it came to the License Plate Tuck decided to Cut a Motorcycle License Plate Rectangle out of the Top of a Nike Sneakers Box. He then proceeded to make up a Fictitious License Plate Number, and literally Drew it On with a Black Sharpie.

Needless to Say one Afternoon while Tuck was out Joy Riding on His Motorcycle found Himself sitting at a Red Light when a Cop pulled Up Behind Him. Instead of figuring He was fucked and Should do whatever was in His best Interest as Far as the Police where concerned made a Different Decision. Tuck decided to say Fuck It, Turned Right, laid into the Accelerator, and Sped Off Down the Street like a motherfucker. The Police turn on Their Lights and Siren and immediately give Chase. It was a short pursuit as Tuck in all due Favor did manage to Outrun the Cop. Tuck drove Home and stashed the Bike out of Sight in the Backyard, and was coming around the Side of the House When He learned a Valuable Lesson. The Lesson was While You can conceivably Out Run a Cop You Can’t Out Run the Police Radio. As Tuck rounded the Side of The House He was greeted by the Two Police Officer’s who had Responded to the Fleeing Suspect Call, and at that point the Jig as They say was Up.

           

Luckily for Tuck the Police wrote the incident off to being Young and Dumb, and it didn’t hurt that one of the Officers was also a Big Time Gearhead. So instead of throwing the Book at Tuck for Running on Them He ended up getting $250 Fine and a Ton of Community Service (We’re talking 100 Hours or More I forget the Exact Number, But I assure You it wasn’t less than 100). The Funniest Part of the Whole Fiasco was at one Point Tuck was given a complete and thorough copy of the Police Report. We ended up reading over it one Night while Drinking 40’s of Crazy Horse Malt Liquor having one hell of a good a Laugh.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

The Unraveling of a Small Town Arson

Even in a tiny rural town shit happens just not nearly as frequently as in more populated areas at least. Last night though a lot of shit was happening in the wee hours of the morning.

The original details as discovered and spread by the Locals:

At 4:oo am a fire of undetermined origin had broken out a utterly destroyed all three store fronts where the fire occurred. It sucks because this is a egonomivcaluy depressed area and these 3 stores where in the small handful of local businesses that have avoided bankruptcy. There was a secondary reason the fire sucked was the owners of the 3 stores had insanely awesome antiques such as an original Model T car and 1900’s all oak Soda Bar that also were destroyed in the fire.

Now this is where small town life gets even smaller. Right after the fire and I mean the very next day as soon as the sun came up. The town split into 3 schools of thought.

School 1 Thought it was just a run of the mill accident due to old buildings with sub par electrical wires and shit.

School 2 Thought it was Arson caused by Vandals or some mentally ill drifter sort of person/persons.

School 3 Thought it wasn’t a random act of Arson, but a very specific target indicating a Family Feud that got well out of hand, and some one involved went rage crazy and was all ‘I’M GONNA BURN YOUR BUSINESS DOWN YOU BASTARDS!” Seriously feuds and grudges go far down here. An Example being There are 3 families who all own section of property. 30 plus years of futile arguing and disagreements (as well as a shit ton of underhanded and actually illegal shit going on) has lay way to intense resentments. The current generations involved in this land deal are still holding onto the grudges of the past generations.

Well why the Towns people speculated on the Local Police and Fire Chief had figured out what happened, who did it, and promptly arrested them. See there was a 4th School of Thought that no one attended, and that was Theft.

What Really Happened the the Night of the Arson. A local podunk officer was slowly cruising down Main Street at 4 am when a “an old and very beat up Chevy” came speeding out of the ally by the 3 stores that were burned. The speeding car almost t-bones the cop car, but luckily a collision was avoided that time.

People down here have a tendency when confronted by the Police to try and out run them. This case was absolutely no different. Immediately after almost causing a serious car wreck the Old, Beat Up Chevy takes off like his ass is on fire. A Police chase issues inevitably leading to the suspect driving too fast on windy ass roads until he drives off the road into a tree/drainage.

Again thats exactly what happened next in the story. The Driver survived the initial collision at least long enough to narc out his partners in crime. When inspecting the wreck the Police found the obvious reason for the Arson to cover a Robbery. The Chevy was crammed full of $1,000’s of dollars worth of merchandise from all 3 stores, and at that point they drew their conclusion. The Robbery wasn’t a personal matter nor Arson for Arson’s sake, but it was in an attempt to try and destroy all the physical evidence from the Robbery itself.

No one is sure if the Driver is alive, but his two crew members have been arrested and charged with Breaking an Entering, Arson, Resisting a Police Officer, Fleeing the scene of a crime, Grand Theft of over $1,000, and perhaps more but I don’t know currently so I for one WON’T Speculate.

Thanks For The Read Reader,

Les Sober