Tag: PornHub

Quick Quiz Could Change Your Reality

Hello Reader(s),

If You opt to take the following Quiz Please follow these Guidelines:

  • Take Your Time. This isn’t some Convoluted Cosmo Quiz.
  • Think Over Your Answers. Question Everything.
  • BE HONEST. This is not some piece of Fluff Post.
  • This Quiz Could Alter Your Perception of Reality, The World, Humanity, Your Friends, Your Family, Coworkers, Significant Others, Neighbors, The Universe, Yourself, or Life & Death Permanently.
  • Pictures Have Been Added For The Purpose of Stimulating The Your Pre Frontal Cortex While Taking The Quiz.

For those reasons the ANSWER KEY won’t be Posted for a couple to a few Days as again it pays dividends to TAKE YOUR TIME, BE SURE OF YOUR ANSWERS, and BE HONEST (Otherwise Your Only Going To Fool Yourself, and the Quiz will be NULL & VOID.

   

1. Would You Ever Buy Something Off The Dark Web?                                                 A. Sure Why Not?!                                                                                                                        B. No Seems Like A Bad Idea.                                                                                                C. OH HELL YEAH, I’m An Asshole Who Lives Dangerously and Has No Fear Of Death!                                                                                                                                       D. OH HELL NO, I Don’t Want End Up In Prison.

2. Even If Its Prepared Correctly By A Master Sushi Chef Japanese Blow Fish or Fugu still has a 1 in 66 chance of Death When Eaten. Would You Ever Try Fugu?                                                                                                                                              A.  Yes I’ve Heard Its Tasty.                                                                                                    B.  No Thanks I Don’t Have a Death Wish.                                                                      C. I Know What Fire IS So I Don’t Eat Raw Fish. I’m An Asshole.                         D.  What The Fuck Is Wrong With This Red Lobster?!

3.When You Go To The Adult Store Do You…                                                                 A. Buy Something.                                                                                                                     B. Look Around Briefly And Leave.                                                                                    C. Realize You Could Have Done Your Adult Shopping Online.                             D.  I Don’t Indulge In Any Porn or Adult Store Merchandise, and I’m a Lying. I’m an Asshole.

     

4. What Kind of Pet Person Are You?                                                                                A. Rodents (Rats, Mice, Gerbils, Hamsters, Guine Pigs) Because I Forgot About The Black Plague                                                                                                          B.  Dog, Their Mankind’s Best Friend For A Reason.                                                 C.  Cat, They Were Worshiped Egyptians and They Had Pyramids so Thats Cool..                                                                                                                                               D. Fish. I’m a Simple Person Keeping It Simple.                                                          E. Bird. I’m a Masochist.                                                                                                         F. Reptiles. Dinosaurs Baby, Living Fucking DINOSAURS!                                     G. Unconventional (Pot Bellied Pig, Miniature Goat, Tarantulas, Scorpions, Hedgehog etc. I Was Born Without A Identity so Now My Identity Is My Pet. Also I’m An Asshole.

5. What Kind Of Motor Vehicle Is Your Type “Dream Car” ?                                  A. Sports: Speed Kills So Lets Die Fast!                                                                            B. SUV: I’ve Always Wondered What It Be Like To Be a Godzilla Sized Asshole.                                                                                                                                          C. Luxury: I’m a Rich Fat Bastard, and I Want The World To KNOW IT!          D. Truck: Bigger The Truck Littler The Man (Height and Penis)                         E. Motorcycle: Because Car Crashes Can’t Kill You Fast Enough.                         F. Moped/Scooter: I Like Motorcycles, But I’m Too Scared To Own One.

6. What Is Your Preferred Type/Style of Music?                                                          A. Heavy Metal: What I’m Middle Aged and Nostalgic.                                            B.  EMO: I’m Dark, Brooding, Deep and Clinically Depressed.                              C. Classic Rock: I’m a Hippy Hangover From 1969.                          D.Death/Black Metal: We Are All Going To Hell & I Have The Soundtrack!     E. Folk: I’m Heavily Medicated.                                                                                           F. Jazz: I Like Things That Sounds Like Schizophrenia Put To Music.              G. Pop: I’m a Mindless Commercial Lemming.                                                           H. Classical: I Like To Think I’m An Intellectual, I Listen To NPR.                      I. Punk: I Refuse To Admit Punk IS DEAD.                                                                       J. EMD: I’m a Bot.                                                                                                                      K.  Country: I Don’t Mind The Hypocrisy and Commercialism because I Like Horses and Playing Cowboys and Indians.                                                                     L. Talk Radio/Podcasts: I Didn’t Understand The Question, and I’m an Asshole.  

      

7. When Its Comes To Social Media Do You………                                                         A. I Check Once and a While, I Like Keeping Tabs On Shit.                                     B. I Check It Frequently and Often Because I Need To Stay In The Loop.          C. I Check It  CONSTANTLY I CAN’T AFFORD TO MISS A GODDAMN THING  D. I LIVE in Social Media, I’ve Fully Exited Physical Reality                                  E. I DON’T Check Because I Enjoy My Real Actual Life. Shove Second Life Up Your Avatar’s Ass.

        

8. What Kind Of Movies Do You Prefer To Watch?                                                      A. Horror: I’m a Sick and Twisted Little Puppy                                                            B. Action: Lets Blow Some Shit Up Already!                                                                  C. Drama: Because Life Doesn’t Have Enough Drama For Me.                              D. Foreign: I’m Profound & Worldly.                                                                                E. Rom-Com: Sometimes I Need a Break From Eharmony.                                    F. Documentary: Fuck Fiction I Want to Know What Is Really Going On in The World. Fiction, Save That Shit For Mordor.                                                          G. Mockumentary: Fuck Facts I DON’T Want to Know Whats Really Going On.                                                                                                                                                   H. Comedy: The Laugh More, Live Longer Philosophy                                              I. Thriller: I Like Being Scared, BUT I Can’t Handle Hardcore Horror.               J. Rockumentary: I Don’t just Want To Listen To Bands I Want To Know All The Behind The Scenes Shit Too!    

        

9. When I Drink I………                                                                                                             A. Shots! Shots! Shots!                                                                                                            B. Break Out The Beer Bong and Lets Party.                                                                  C. Have a Glass Of Wine With Dinner.                                                                              D. Have A Few Beers To Unwind After a Long Day.                                                     E. Go To The Bar and Shut That Fucker Down.                                                              F. Binge The Frat Life and I’m an Asshole.                                                                    G. Responsibly                                                                                                                            H. Like Theres NO Tomorrow and I Have A Hallow Leg.                                            I. Drink Like My Name IS Andre The Giant.                                                                    J. Drink Night and Day Because I’m an Alcoholic.                                                      K. Drink Cocktails Because I like To Classy Up My Boozing.                                  L. I Don’t Drink because I’m probably a fucking Alien.  

10. Where Do You Aquire Your Pornography?                                                               A. YouPorn.Com                                                                                                                         B. PornHub.Com                                                                                                                        C. Alternate Free Pornography Site.                                                                                  D. I Pay For My Porn Sites Like An Asshole.                                                                   E. Offline. I’m a Dinosaur and Still By Porno Magazines because I Like Reading The Articles.  

11. When It Comes To Trends I………                                                                                  A. Follow Blindly Like a Sheep.                                                                                            B. Make Sure I Conform To The New Trend WHILE Claiming Not To Be a Trend Follower.                                                                                                                          C. Follow Half Heartedly.                                                                                                       D. I Live To Trend, I’m a Hipster Asshole.                                                                      E. I DEPEND ON TRENDS I wasn’t Born With A Personality So I Need Trends To Define Me.                                                                                                                              F. Trends Are For Twats. I’m Not a Twat.

        

12. When I Smoke Marijuana I………                                                                                   A. Puff, Puff, Pass                                                                                                                      B. Break Out The Bong and Bomb it Like Bagdad.                                                       C. Smoke Straight To The Head By Myself.                                                                    D. Call My Friends and Bust Out The Bag/ Bust Out A Bag.                                     E. Smoke The Whole Bag From Beginning To End in One Sitting Like a Super High Hedonist.                                                                                                                            F. Wake And Bake BABY!                                                                                                           G. Smoke Socially because Hey Its Free.                                                                         H. Smoke Until I’m SO STONED I have To Hold Onto A Blade Of Grass To Keep From Falling Off The Planet.                                                                                      I. Smoke Like I’m Giving Cheech and Chong a Run For Their Money.                J. Smoke Like My Names Doug Benson.                                                                          K. Smoke Like a Chimney                                                                                                       L. Smoke Like I’m Trying To Smoke Colorado Dry.                                                  M. Smoke To Unwind After Work.                                                                                     N. 24/7 Like Snoop Dog.                                                                                                         O. Smoke Until The Tellitubbies Talk To Me.                                                                P. Smoke and Run Up a $600 GrubHub Bill                                                                   Q. Smoke Old School and Roll Up A Joint                                                                        R. Smoke New School and Roll Up a Blunt.                                                                     S. I Don’t Smoke Weed I Vape it and lecture People Who Didn’t Fucking Ask How Much Better It Is For You Than Smoking Weed. I’m a Self-righteous Asshole.                                                                                                                                         T. I Smoke SO MUCH Weed I Forgot How Much I Actually Smoke.                     U. I Don’t Smoke Weed and I’m Lying.

13. Air Guitar  OR Air Drums?                                                                                               A. Air Guitar: I Mean They Based The Widely Popular Video Game Rock Band Game on The Principle Of Air Guitar!                                                                               B. Air Drums: You Wanna Really Rock, DRUM SOLO!                                                C. Air Harpsichord: I’m an Asshole                                                                                   D. I play a REAL LIFE Drums/Guitar/Other Actual Musical Instrument.   

14. When It Comes To The Government I Believe………                                             A. Love Those Bastards, Good Job and Wouldn’t Change a Thing.                      B. Its a Necessary Evil                                                                                                              C. Its Time For a REVOLUTION.                                                                                          D. The System is Broken as Fuck, Scrap Current Model and Start Over.           E. Fuck Big Brother Period.                                                                                                    F. ANARCHY Live Free & Die Free.

    

15. When I Gamble I………                                                                                                        A. Play It Safe, And Stick To The Slots Like a Senior Citizen.                                 B.  I Set a Budget Before Hand, and Then Let The Chips Fall Where They May.                                                                                                                                                 C. Play Fast and Loose Because You Only Live Once so Fuck Consequences.  D. Play Like Your Auditioning For The World Series of Poker.                              E. Until I pass Out Or Puke From All The Free Fucking Drinks.                             F. I Don’t Gamble Probably Because I’m an Asshole.

    

16. When It Comes To Racists I Believe                                                                           A. Whole Heartedly In The 1st Amendment.                                                                  B. They’re Good People, and I’m a Trump Loving MAGA ASSHOLE.                  C. Racists Are Entitled To Their Opinion.                                                                       D. Racists Are Entitled To Their Opinion Even if Its Being a Bigot.                     E. Racists Are Fucking Scumbags                                                                                       F. My Favorite Game Is “PUNCH A NAZI”

17. When It Comes To Religion I Believe………                                                               A. There Is a God and We Should fucking FEAR HIM!                                               B. The Bible is a Moral/Ethical Historical Handbook Full Of Valid Advice.      C. God MIGHT Be Real So Better Play It Safe, and Go To Church.                        D. Heaven Or Hell Religion Doesn’t Matter To Me.                                                    E. I’m a Spiritual Person, Organized Religion is Man Made.                                  F. All Hail Mermenozoid!                                                                                                       G. Cults Are Cool so Whats Up With Scientology?                                                       H. Man Created God In HIS OWN IMAGE.                                                                        I. Take EVERY WORD of My Religious Text of Choice LITERALLY Because I’m a Religious Fanatic Like an Vile Evangelical.                                                      J. Science Over Organized Religion.                                                                                      K. There is Something Bigger Than Humans, BUT its Something Like The Universe or Nature for Example.                                                                                        L. The Ancient Greeks/Romans/Egyptians Had It Right.                                       M. How Would I Know About Religion I’m a Reincarnated Flat Worm.            N. See You In The Halls of Valhalla ASSHOLES!

    

18. When It Comes To Exercise I………                                                                               A. Believe My Body Is A Temple and I’m Its Maintenance Man.                           B. I’m just a Few Pounds Overweight, And Not That Out Of Shape so Steady As She Goes.                                                                                                                                 C. I Exercise Now and Then Basically Half Ass It.                                                       D. I’m Fine Buying Fitness Equipment, and Letting It Rot Covered in Dust In My Basement/Attic/Garage as I Always Have.                                                              E. I Love Exercising I’m a Gym Rat.                                                                                   F. I’m a Fitness Fanatic, I’m Running In Place While I Read This.                      G. I Need to Exercise, But Don’t Because I always Put It Off Till Tomorrow Like An Asshole.

   

19. When I Come To The Police I Think………                                                                 A. I Believe They Are In Fact Here To Protect & Serve Us                                         B. They Police Have Some Serious Problems That Need Correction.                  C.  Blue Lives Matter, and I’m an Utter Asshole.                                                         D. The Police Are The Biggest Criminals in America.                                                E. We Should Dismantle The Police System, And Reinstitute State Militias Or Wild West Modeled Sherriff’s Like Wyatt Eurp.                                                           F. The Police Are Just High School Nerds, and Now Have a Badge so They’re The Bully Now.                                                                                                                           G. Good Cops Are A Myth.                                                                                                      H. The Police Are Useless, Vigilante Justice Is The Only Way To Go.

    

20. When It Comes To Snakes and Spiders Which Are You More Afraid Of         A. Snakes: Obviously Remember The Garden Of Eden.                                             B. Spiders: They Can Crawl Into Your Ear, Lay Eggs, and The Babies Eat Your fucking Brain.                                                                                                                              C. Both Whats Wrong With You?                                                                                        D. Neither: I’m The Asshole Exception To The Rule.

 Brought To You By Les Sober

Written By: The University of Psychological Arts, The Synaptic Society,

& The Swedish Institute of Neuropsychology Research and Development.

 

Revised By: The Cerebral Studies Foundation & The Grey Matter Grant

Edited By: The Psychological Sociology Administration of Japan

Published By: InnerSelf Incorporated, Synaptic Storm,

& The Third Eye Institute for Developmental Cerebral Research.

Text-A-Rama: Another Round of Absurd Insanity

Yup you got it I’m here to dish up another heaping helping of Late Night Texting (between SpaceDog and My self) served Insanity Side Up with a side of Shit Talking.

SpaceDog: Also you can add “hey Goggle, fuck off” to the list of Fucks. So i either have a broken heater or my upstairs neighbor has the loudest vibrator known to man. Overtime i hear the loud buzz i turn up my tv as loud as possible (or music) and no matter what after 10 minutes it goes away. What the fuck could it possibly be if not the heater making the bitch of a buzz noise? My heater has not ran as further reference.

Les: I agree fuck Google, fuck’ed straight to the 9th circle of Hell for all I fucking care, search shit engine. What kind of heating do you have exactly I don’t remember from my visits. My brain is like a fucking Old Car. Its still runs but it takes a few minutes to warn the hell up. Dunno did you change the Filter?

SpaceDog: Baseboard like a basehead. isn’t basehead the original crackhead?

Les: Oh well fuck the filter idea. LMFAO. Yeah before crackheads were baseheads. Its the fucking evolution of Crack Cocaine! Before crack people freebased combining Cocaine and Baking Powder into a smokable form of powder. Richard Pryor set himself on fucking fire free basing.

SpaceDog: Probably the fuck not they don’t do shit around here.

Les: Been there and I had to fucking pay an HOA quarterly for doing DICK. Home Owning Assholes.

SpaceDog: Yo these asses left the sprinkler on during a nor easter which wouldn’t have been bad but it was set to go off so it would pound against my windows every 4 hrs for 15 minutes. I had to go out in the rain climb through bushes, throw the sprinkler into the lawn, wade threw bushes and mud and shut the fucker off.

Les: What kind of dumbfuck leaves the sprinkler during a fucking nor Easter?! Even if the sprinkler timer is pre set they could hit the kill switch or some shit to shut it down. Goddamn thats a bunch of unnecessary horseshit. I’d be pissed as hell too. Who needs that shit.

SpaceDog: So like literally after i get this urge to write in the silence my apartment is making all kinds of noises. LOL. I have not wanted to sit in silence since i stopped living with Eon 8 fucking years ago. In other news, the top breaking news tonight is Kanye realized he was being used by Donald and is staying away from politics. Lmfao

Les: Trump played Kanye the way Kim Jong-un played fucking Dennis Rodman LMFBO!!! Kanye is the African American’s answer to Alex “Asshole” Jones. Holy Fuckster 8 years is a fucking Prison sentence. EON A-LA-CRACKHEAD with a guitar, the coffee house crackhead cunt.

SpaceDog: Kanye the past 2 years is like Clint Eastwood talking-to that chair for 2 years straight.

Les: Lmfbo true. I want to see a fight between Charlie”Tigers Blood” Sheen Vs. Kanye “Dragon Energy” West.

SpaceDog: Hey u discovered any good way to make things disappear from continue watching on Netflix? I wish i could relabel this section Things That Suck Ass and Baited Into Subtitles because all you lazy fucks translated was the title.

Les: No I wish I had. Baited into subtitles LOL! I’ve seen foreign movies on Netflix with NO Subtitles or Over Dubbing so if you don’t speak the language your outright fucked. Working on a List of Fucks part 2. There were so many more Lmfao.

SpaceDog: Didn’t realize there were that many more.

Les: I didn’t either until I started thinking about “Fuck….” all over again.

SpaceDog: So hopefully i don’t sleep tonight as long as yesterday. I slept from 11:30 pm to 5 pm. Ok i got coffee at 7 and that kept me awake till 9 but thats a bit more sleep than i’d prefer.

Les: Sounds like you have Rip Van Winkle Syndrome or some shit.

SpaceDog: I feel like i have either strep, Legionaries or mono.

Les: Perhaps Narcolepsy or a bad bout of boredom Lmfbo!

SpaceDog: Walking pneumonia is another possibility.

Les: Thats Sucks Snail Scrotum. Being sick sucks Blue Whale Balls for sure. Goddamn disease. Fuck disease.

SpaceDog: Grocery shopping when sick sucks ass. I literally went down every aisle and realized all that was in my cart were peppermints.

Les: I might think about hitting up a fucking doctor just in case. better safe than dead. YOLO Peppermints riding SOLO!

SpaceDog: I have 3 antibiotics laying around. Was thinking of taking copra but idk why 1 tbh. My sickness started when i started hearing that noise. Go figure. Woo hoo i have a porn app on my phone I’m officially an old perv.

Les: Porn App you dirty old fucker, you use an app?! I just hit up Youporn on my phone if need be.

SpaceDog: Its android only ask file from videos.com

Les: PornHub Ve. YouPorn. Stumpfucker Films is all Amputee Porn.

SpaceDog: Im finally out of mental and penile anguish from seeing a prolapsed butthole.

Les: Dear fucking God thats a seriously fucked up thing to see, burns into your fucking brain forever.

SpaceDog: Can we make a show for Netflix? I mean if haters back off was a show why can’t i just go around filming ivy savage all day?

Les:Where the hell did you see some sick shit like that at?!! Netflix is a good fucking question you got me there.

SpaceDog: I really just want to see a rim job but whatever fucking site i was on i guess i included too many search words and boom it was all hanging the fuck out.

Les: Case of Mangled Rectal Trama. Can you take a shit with a prolapsed asshole?! What if you tied 2 prolapsed rectums together?! Can you blow it up like a fucking balloon animal?!

SpaceDog: Not just like oh your asshole is swollen from a hard fuck, no i mean i probably saw prostate. Idk I’m glad i didn’t have that picture in my head when the lady at hurry back inn told me about her reversed bowels 15 years ago.

Les: Reversed Bowels?!! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT?! Lmfba!

SpaceDog: I miss Leonard’s

Les: Leonard’s? Bloody Stool is my new favorite band.

SpaceDog: The bar on Crocker rd in Spamilton that was near my parents house.

Les: Oh OK I have no memory of that bar, then again I don’t remember a whole hell of a lot from most bars.

SpcaeDog: Its some pizza bar now. I don’t miss the other bar on that street. All i remember is it was the first time in my life i incited an angry mob. The other were at mcguinns and at the lottery ticket machine.

Les: Lmfao what the hell was the angry mob thing about because it sounds entertaining.

SpaceDog: Which One? LOL

Les: Any and all of Course.

SpaceDog: Was so crunk i thought i was at a gay bar and got catty at some random dude and he took it as fighting words, then started shit with a different dude. Mcguinns got kicked out for being overly intoxicated but stole 3 cell phones on the way out (pre smartphone era)

Les: Catty and Crunk sounds like a fucking crime tv cop buddy detective shows from the fucking 70’s.

SpaceDog: Lottery machine i stuck money in the scan winning ticket hole and the machine went completely dead with a line of like 30 people behind me. Machine went completely dead for 5 minutes but then took 5 more to reboot.

Les: Why the hell did it need to Reboot?!

SpcaeDog: Quite possibly the 10 longest sober minutes of my life. Took a hammer to them after not finding any kompromat on them.

Les: Thats a real Lottery Machine Motherfucker.

SpaceDog: I aslo lost a sneaker in mcguinns so i came home with 1 shoe. Like hell i was going back for it though LOL

Les: LOL think we have all been there with the coming home drunk to sober up with one less shoe. Fuck and No I wouldn’t have gone back for it either.

SpaceDog: That literally was the only time i walked solo to mcguinns. I was more a crystal diner take teenage boys in the bathroom to do shots with me.

Les: a Bathroom Bar. Sounds like Ye Old Crystal Diner. I knew it well. Used to go there with The Arminian, Eon, and Homicidal Hippy when we were dealing drugs together.

SpaceDog: Its the route 1 diner now. Not 24 hrs. Shittsville has zero 24 hrs shit now. Quite possibly the only WaWa gas station on Earth that closes.

Les: Last time I went to the Crystal Diner I ran into Jack Off Jimmy V who tried to be a condescending cunt and get in my face for being stoned as well as drunk, and I was all I used to be your fucking drug dealer you bitch ass bitch. What Jimmy didn’t know is though we hadn’t seen each other in several years I still knew the shit that happened to him i that time the dumb twat. I informed him I knew of his addiction to Tart heroin followed by rehab and then a full scale metal breakdown (schitzophrenia I think)SO FUCK THAT JACK OFF.

SpaceDog: Yeah judgey people suck. Thats pretty fucking funny.

Les: What?! No longer open 24 hrs and with a cliche stupid ass name that really fucking sucks. RIP Crystal Diner a True Dive Diner.

Les: This Fucks list part 2 is actually longer than the original. Lmfao! Original word count was 1,063. Part 2 word count is 1,255.

SpaceDog: Are there repeat fucks or original fucks only?

Les: Don’t think there any repeats, hope fucking not. Its hard to keep count it gave me a fucking migraine but i HATE doubles, it looks like your stacking the deck and bullshit like that.

SpaceDog: Yeah i sure as all hell don’t feel like counting. Reading the first list of fucks was exhausting and made me feel dirty.

Les: Lmfao Exactly. I figure if there just so happens to be a repeat no one will every notice unless they have some serious fucking OCD. Also .49 cent Sushi is My Wife’s new favorite band. I just created a word SLUNT. Definition: A Slutty Cunt.

+End Transmission+

Thanks for Reading,

Brought to You By,

 SpaceDog

 Les Sober