Tag: Pornography

Why You Never Became A Dancer

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring the Official Video for the Song Why You Never Became A Dancer by the British Band named Whitehouse. So Who the fuck are/was Whitehouse and Why should Anyone Care? Valid Questions for Sure so here is the Backstory of Whitehouse.

Whitehouse was formed in England in 1980 and the Group is Largely credited for Founding and Pioneering the Power Electronics Genre of Music. The Band is Also Credited with Developing the Genre of Music Known as Noisecore or as it was Originally Know as Noise Music (Yeah Pretty fucking Original), and the Band is Credited for Developing Noisecore in America, England, and Japan. Power Electronics is a Offshoot of Noisecore that typically consists of Static, Screeching Feedback, Analogue Synthesizers making Sub-Base Pulses or High Frequency Squealing Sounds. Some but Not All Noisecore Songs have “Lyrics” that are Heavily Distorted, Screamed, or Guttural Vocalizations. Meanwhile Noisecore for those Unfamiliar is a Niche Genre of Music Characterized by the Expressive use of Noise within a Musical Context.  Noisecore tends to Challenge the Distinction between Musical and Non-Musical Sound. The Band Emerged when Early Industrial Acts that had Heavily Influenced Power Electronics/ Noisecore like THROBBING GRISTLE were backing Away from Extreme Noise. Meanwhile Whitehouse wanted to take Their Fascination with Early Industrial Groups’ Sound and Extreme Subject Matter even Further.

The Band’s Name is Meant as a Mock Tribute to Mary Whitehouse who was a British Morality Campaigner and a Hard-Line Conservative Activist. She Campaigned against Social Liberalism and the Mainstream British Media (Both of Which She Accused of Encouraging a More Permissive Society. That’s Not all as the Band’s Name a Reference to a British Porn Magazine. The Founding Member and Only Sole Constant in the Band William Bennett was Quoted as Saying “I Often Fantasized about creating a Sound that could Bludgeon an Audience into Submission.” , and that His Goal was to Produce “The Most Extreme Music Ever Recorded.”Whitehouse referred to Their Sound as “Extreme Electronic Music” that was Known for its Controversial and Obscene Lyrics and Imagery. The Band’s Lyrics/Imagery Portrayed:

  • Sadistic Sex
  • Misogyny
  • Serial Murder
  • Eating Disorders
  • Child Abuse
  • Extreme Violence in All Forms
  • Neo-Nazi Fetishism

Bennett released His First Album Under the Whitehouse Name in 1980 called Birthdeath Experience that was Released on Bennett’s Own Come Organization Label, and was Immediately followed by the Album Total Sex. In 1981 Bennett released the Album Erector that was Pressed on Red Vinyl, Packaged in a Shiny Black Packaging, and included a Photocopied Picture of a Penis. The Group Started Playing Live Shows in 1982 with Members William Bennett (Whitehouse), Andrew McKenzie (of the Band THE HAFLER TRIO), Steven Stapleton from the Band NURSE WITH WOUND, and Philip Best Who Joined in 1982 After Running away from Home at the Age of 14, and has been an On again/ Off Again Member ever since. Whitehouse was Inactive for the second half of the 1980’s and Re-emerged in 1990 wit the Album “Thank Your Lucky Stars”. During the 1990’s Whitehouse had Stable Line up in Bennett, Best, and Writer Peter Sotos (Sotos Left the Group in 2002). Bennett Decided to Terminate Whitehouse in 2008 to Focus on His Cut Hands Project which was its Music that was Heavily Inspired by African and Haitian Voodoo Music, being Very Rhythmic and Percussion Based.

 

It is What it Is,

 Presented By Les Sober

Fetishes For People Other Than Cannibals

A short while ago FYB posted a post pertaining to different kind of cannibalism, and  we received plenty of e-mails that noted that (especially the end of the list) fell into a sexually fetishized form(s)/kind(s) cannibalism. Now to say that we were unaware of this would be a bold faced fucking lie because we damn well did.

A prime example of this is Vorarephilia which is an abnormal sexual condition characterized by the tendency to become sexually aroused by the idea of eating someone, the idea of being eaten by someone, or by witnessing a cannibalistic act (people with this particular paraphilia are commonly referred to as votes.

A lot of the e-mails were ,for lack of a better word shocked, to learn of how crazy shit got when we delved into the almost unbelievable underbelly of various types of cannibalism. This led people to wonder what other strange fetish shit was out there that they may very well be unaware of. This got us in turn to contemplate the same question so we did some investigating and compiled the following list of sexual fetishes (that with only an exception of one or perhaps two) we had no fucking idea even existed. All we can say in summation of our investigation into lesser known/popular/rarer fetishes we just couldn’t help thinking how insane the human brain actually is even without in this cases  the presence of a mental condition, disorder, or syndrome.

                    

The Fetish List:

  • Breath Play: Breath Play involves the restriction of oxygen to the brain to achieve to heightened orgasm. Self-induced breath play during masturbation is known as autoerotic asphyxiation. Breath play within a couple can be achieved by nose pinching, holding your breath, covering the face with hood or plastic bag, “corseting” (pushing down on someones chest, choking, hanging, “Kininging”/ “Queening” (smothering your partner with your genitals. Any time you restrict someone’s ability to breathe, you’re engaging in high risk behavior, so breath play within the realm of BDSM behaviors known as “edge play”, in which your partner is actively responsible for your life.
  • Hybristophilia: Hybristophilia is an abnormal sexual condition in which sexual desire and climax occur in response to the knowledge that one’s partner has committed a heinous act such as infidelity, lying, or criminal act such as rape, murder, or robbery.
  • Diaper Bondage: Diaper bondage is a specific for of submission that involves role-play in which an adult regresses to an infant-like state. Often, the adult preforming this sexual fetish will wear a diaper and act like a baby, seeking nurturing from their sexual partner. This condition is also known as paraphilia infantilism, autonepiophilia, psychosexual infantilism or, more commonly, adult baby syndrome.

                    

  • Sexsomnia (Sleeping Sex): Sexsomnia is a rare disorder that prompts an individual to seek sexual activity in their sleep. Although most reported cases involve men, both male and females may initiate sleep sex. Most people have some awareness of this fetish since the invention of prescription sleeping pills. Ambien alone has a reputation for causing strange nocturnal behavior (Sleep sex, walking, driving, eating etc.)
  • Cuckolding/Cuckoldry: Cuckholding or cuckoldry is a sexual fetish in which someone experiences sexual arousal by the way of observing their partner having sex with another man or woman. Some report an associated feeling of humiliation and/or rejection as part of the allure.
  • Omarashi: Omarahi, or “omo” for short, falls within the urolagnia family of sexual fetishes which are related to urine. Those who identify as ooo become aroused when they have a full bladder and wet themselves, or observe their partner wetting themselves. Other phrases used to describe this particular fetish are :bladder desperation” and “panty wetting.” The word omarashi is Japanese for “to wet oneself.” This is not to be confused with Golden Showers.

   

  • Spanking Art: Spanking art is generally enjoyed by people who identify as spanking enthusiasts in the bedroom. Spankophilia is a paraphilia characterized by arousal from spanking or being spanked. It falls within the realm of BDSM (bondgae, discipline, submission, sadomasochism) behaviors, although it’s a sexual fetish in and of itself.
  • Somnophilia: Somnophilia is erotic arousal dependent upon the act of intruding on a stranger mid-sleep, or walking someone up with an erotic caresses.
  • My Little Pony Sex: The adult male fans of “My Little Pony” are colloquially known as “boonies” (these are NOT fuzzies, but are considered a specific subset of the Fuzzy Fetish. While not all bronies associate this cartoon program created for children with sex, there is a niche community of people who fetishize “My Little Pony” and watch porn related to these series/ role-play scenes based on the show.
  • Teratophilia: Teratophilia is a sexual fetish that involves being attracted to people physical deformities. There are many subjects of teratophilia specific to different types of human deformities. For instance, acrotomophilia involves sexual attraction to amputees and stigmatophilia refers to deriving  sexual pleasure from people whose bodies are marked or scarred in some way.

                     

  • Coprophilia/ Scatophilia: Coprophilia/Scatophilia (also know as “scat sex”) is a sexual fetish rooted in a fixation with feces and defecation. People who gravitate towards pop play expierance sexual pleasure through the act of defecating on another person or being defecated on for instance. This is not to be confused with Copraphasia which is the act of eating one owns feces.
  • Daddy Kink (Day Dom): Daddy kink is a relatively simple sexual fetish that involves submission/domination play during which the submissive refers to her dominate partner as “daddy.”
  • Pee Fetish: You’ve more than likely heard of a “golden shower” (the act of urinating on someone for the purpose of sexual pleasure) and the people who like giving or receiving golden showers are characterized as having a pee fetish. The clinic term for this is paraphilia is “urolagnia”.
  • Cum Fetish: People who identify as having a cum fetish are aroused by the act of cumming on their partner, being cummed on, and/or images of people who have been ejaculated on. Sometimes its about the sticky mess of ejaculate on someone’s face, stomach, chest, or ass is tantalizing to those with a cum fetish. The most promenade form of the cum fetish is known in the world of pornography as Bukkake.

  • Mechanophilia: Mechanophilia is characterized by sexual attraction to machines, sometimes a desire to engage in sexual relations with (or in) an airplane, car, bicycle, Bus, Motorcycle, or Helicopter.
  • Macrophilia/ Giantess Sex: Macrophilia or giantess sex is an abnormal sexual condition that involves being attracted to and aroused by someone who is much larger than you are physically. In short, it’s a phenomenon in which people are turned on by giants and fantasies involving giants.
  • Pedal Pumping/ Revving: Pedal Pumping or “revving” is a subset of foot fetishism that involves watching someone, often a woman wearing high heels, push a gas pedal with masturbatory rhythm.
  • Balloon Fetish/ Looners: People with a balloon fetish (aka “looters”) find balloons sexual attractive and incorporate them into their sex lives. While some find creative ways to have sex with balloons, other simply enjoy the sight of their partner sitting on a balloon and popping it.
  • Quorofilia/ Hand Fetish: Some people who experience a hand fetish or quorofilia are attracted to a specific part of the hand, such as the fingers (which might appear phallic), the nails, or the palm. Others are aroused by actions preformed with the hand, whether overtly sexual (i.e. masturbation) or traditionally asexual (i.e. hand washing or rinsing dishes).

          

  • Sensation Play: While many forms of erotic play and fundamentally cerebral and centered on power exchanges (think domination/submission), sensation play is physical eroticism. In sensation play, the physical stimuli (i.e. silk scarves, ice, candle wax, massage oil, feathers etc.) are applied in a controlled manner with the purpose of eliciting the release of pleasure triggering endorphins. While their may be pain involved, the effect is similar to that of a “runner’s high.”
  • Extreme Feeding/ Feederism: Feeders or “encouragers” take pleasure in funneling excessive quantities of food into the mouths of “gainers”. Some extreme feeders enjoy the sensation of inserting their penis between a gainer’s fat folds.
  • Pygophilia: Sexual attraction or arousal to the human butt.
  • Hematolagnia: Hematolagnia is also known as “vampire syndrome”, hematolagnia is sexual interest in blood or desire to drink blood sensually.
  • Salirophilia: Is the love of getting dirty (or getting your partner dirty) literally, prior or during sexual intercourse.

                  

  • Katoptronophilia: Is the intense sexual satisfaction derived from mirrors, often satisfied by having sex, stripping, or masturbating in front of mirrors.
  • Food Fetish: While some foods are actually aphrodisiacs because they have properties that induce sexual desire, sexual food play can involve any food that a person finds sexually stimulating. Food play is a form of sitophilia which refers to arousal by erotic scenes centering food.
  • Teleiophilia: Sexual attraction to adults? WE HAVE NO IDEA WTF THIS MEANS because if you’re not a pedophile then Yes you’d be an adult attracted to other adults. We couldn’t find any further useful information on this fetish so if you can/do please shoot us an e-mail at fyourblog404@gmail.com Thanks.
  • Microphilia: Is a sexual attraction to small people (the politically correct term(s) for DWARFS/MIDGETS) or someone of a short stature such as a Horse Jockey as well as other tiny things. Basically if someone has a micropenis then a Microphiliac  is just what your looking for.
  • Claustrophilia: Those who have claustrophilia are people that are turned on by/ prefer to have sex in tiny or confined spaces (i.e. a Coffin).

                  

  • Agalmatophilia: Is the love/sexual attraction to mannequins or statues.
  • Hotdogging: Is a sexual fetish that involves someone rubbing their penis between another person’s butt cheeks. (This is NOT about anal penetration, though it can lead it it).
  • Tricophilia: The Sexual Arousal from Hair (primarily human).
  • Abasiophilia: The sexual attraction to people with leg braces.
  • Spectrophilia: The sexual attraction (or arousal) to Ghosts.
  • Phalloorchoalgolagnia: Sexual arousal from pain to the male genitalia (this means anything from being kicked in the balls to cock and ball torture).
  • Plushophilia: The sexual attraction to stuffed animals or people in animal costumes (THESE ARE THE FUZZIES).
  • Emetophilia: The sexual attraction to (or arousal) to vomit.

                

  • Frotteurism: The sexual  arousal from rubbing against non-consenting people. This in FYB’s opinion is creepy and borderline illegal.
  • Eproctophilia: The sexual arousal or attraction to farts.
  • Homeovestism: Is the attraction to the clothing of one’s own gender (i.e. for males it could be a Woman wearing a man’s shirt).
  • Dacryphilia: The sexual attraction to making someone cry.
  • Nasophilia: The sexual arousal or attraction to noses.
  • Arachnophilia: The sexual arousal or attraction to spiders also known as “spider lovers”

                     

Now if this Post peeked your Curiosity then we suggest you head over to BDSMTEST.ORG and take the test and see what floats your boat, and who knows you might just surprise yourself.

I’ll see you on the other side,

Otto Rageous

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (16/365)

Lee took a minute to regain His whereabouts, and absorb what the hell was happening. Thats when things escalated once again with the Arrival of none other than The Seniors For Sex Association the arch enemy of Grandparents Against Porn.  As soon as the first mini van pulled up, (and the first wave of Senior’s For Sex came piling out) the Grandparent Against Porn Members rallied together to form a Human Wall between The Porn Shop and Their newly arrived Nemesis’s.

Lee looked on with an absurd excitement as the Senior Citizen’s from both waring factions lined up like Medieval Armies awaiting the Signal to charge head long into Battle. The Psychotic Screams of Anti-Porn Propaganda had given way to a Sinister Silence as Both sides eyed one another up anxiously.

       

Then the standoff was over and all her broke out. There were Walkers waving wildly, Damaged Dentures Littered the Parking Lot, Prescription Pill Bottles flew threw the air like tiny Orange Pharmaceutical Birds, Canes Clashed, and Wheel Chairs collided.

Lee at this point wasn’t sure what the fuck to do. Should He try and break it up? No that be futile and there was no need to suffer another humiliating hit like with the Old Ladies armed with the Dildo. Should He run? No that just plain didn’t make sense. Lee had at least to remain put, and protect the shops interests (even though He thought it safe to assume at this point He was fired as fuck) until the Authorities arrived to Handle the Rioting Retirees. That and He’d be required to relay the lead up to the Parking Lot Porno Fight in a Police Report.

   

Just then the Boys in Blue can speeding down the street sirens screaming and lights ablaze. The Officers scrambled out of Their Patrol Cars, and immediately started to defuse the Feuding Fanatics. Now this proved to be extremely difficult for several reasons. Older People can be Stubborn and Uppity to begin with, and now They were PISSED.

Not to mention the Police couldn’t actually really Physically restrain the Seniors due to Their fragile Physical Nature as well as Medical Conditions (such as Blood Pressure or Heart Ailments) The Police also couldn’t use Mace or Tear Gas for the same reasons plus the backlash from the Public to the Officers Macing and Manhandling the Elderly would be Furious.

       

Thats when Lee saw His asshole of a Boss pull up and park His shitty 1976 Station Wagon with the fucking artificial wood paneling on the sides. His Boss who went by the Nickname Fran (how the hell Fran was a better option than by going by Francis or Franklin bewildered Lee to no end) heaved His large frame to His feet. He peered around at the absolute Anarchy that had become His Parking Lot before spotting Lee standing to the side by the Tree.

Stay Tuned Kiddies for Tomorrows Delightful Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (17/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (15/365)

Lee instinctively flipped over onto His Belly (still using the Inflatable Sex Doll as a Shield) figured His best course of action was too literally keep His head down, and army crawl His way to the Door. Luckily for Lee at His lower Level managed to blend into the insuring chaos as He suffered a serious series of pokes and jabs from the Merchandise that coated the floor like a freshly fallen snow.

After a very slow going Lee made it to the Door at last, and stood up before barging His way out to the perceived safety of the Parking Lot. Unfortunately for Lee the Porn Shop was under full blow fucking siege by the incensed Seniors. They were everywhere as far as Lee could see it was just one continuous Sea of Senior Citizens.

      

There was a large and boisterous Picket Line, as well as several People Preaching through Bullhorns from Milk Crate Pulpits. Lee could help but think that the Self Proclaimed Preacher present were all talking over one another so none of Their messages could actually be heard by anyone there.

Also the Senior’s inside had decided it was best to Purge the Porn Shop by not just plundering the Stores Merchandise, But where now actively throwing it into the Parking Lot as the Little Old Ladies outside cheered Them on with chants of “Salvation Over Sin!”, and “Pornography  is Blasphemy!”

        

This Lee thought was the biggest Irony of them all as Vandalizing and trashing the Porn Shop made perfect sense to Lee considering the situation. The thing Lee found so amusing was the Shop while being set back from the Highly Trafficked Route 22 the Parking Lot was completely visible to all the Motorists as well as Bicyclists, Joggers, Dog Walkers, and walking Locals.

So if the Senior Citizens Brigade of God Fearing Soldiers (here to restore Society’s Moral Compass from the Vile Scourges of Sexploitation) were here  to  Truthfully Protect Humanity then why the fuck would They subject the World to the Twisted Perversions They were so Heartily Fighting Against?

      

The point was The Sinful Sex Toys were now littering the ground for not just the Public to see, but since it was 3:00pm School was out. And with the combination of The Local Middle School being in the immediate area, and that the end of Route 22 (where the Shop was Located) turned from Commercial to Residential so there were also School Bus Stops near by. It was by far the Worst Strategy at the Wrong time and Place as an Anti-Porno Pro Christian Righteous Rally could have possibly occurred.

Lee got to His feet as fast as He could while bobbing and weaving through the enraged Mob to find some place anyplace where He could have a second to regroup. By the time Lee found shelter from the Porn Shop Shit Storm behind a tree (that was on the property line of the Porn Shop and the next Door Gas Station) He could hear the Police Sirens Screaming like Banshees in the back round.

        

Stay Tuned Kiddies for Tomorrow’s Insane Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (16/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (13/365)

Lee placed the keys back into His pocket, and went to Open the Door to see if and how He could help this Odd Little Old Lady who was lurking just outside the Door. As soon a Lee had Opened the Door the Little Old Lady with 6 or 7 of Her Friends in tow riffled past Lee in a Single File line like Their fucking lives depended on it. Once They had barraged in gaining access to the Porn Shop the spread out in all directions like CockRoaches when the Lights come on. Before Lee even knew what was happening a Second Set of Old Women came raging through the Door looking like some sort of Demented Calvary in Homemade Shawls.

“LETS GO, LETS GO LADIES, LETS GO!” barked the Little Old Lady who first ran in. She apparently for all intensive purposes looked to be the Leader of this maundering Street Gang of Geriatrics. Next this Little Old Woman started a raucous chant of “PERSECUTE PORN PEDDLERS AND PERVERTS!!!”

It was then that Lee took notice that the Majority of the Old Ladies were wearing matching Easter Yellow T-Shirts that had a Large Cross on it with the words “Grandmas For God”. Holy Shit Lee thought excitedly I know exactly what the hell is going on now this is the Hardcore Christian Group Grandparents of God (and Yes the Little Old Men wore Grandpas For God T-shirts) who had been making waves in the News recently.

The Grandparents For God had been targeting Strip Clubs in They’re Smite The Strippers Campaign. Before that the Group landed in the Lime Light for Aggressively Protesting the last lingering Pornographic Magazines, and Their Publishers with Their Keep Porn Out of Print Program. Lee simply couldn’t wait to see what the fuck these Fanatical Old School Fire and Brim Stone Christian Coalition was up too.

    

“Alright YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO, LETS PURGE THIS PLACE OF PORNOGRAPHY AND ITS PERVERSIONS!!!” Yelled The Little Old Lady Leading the Onslaught while raising Her clenched Fist high in the air as if it was the Summer of 1969. These were some Militant Missionaries who’d stop at nothing to Accomplish what They viewed as God’s work, and apparently God want Them to Persecute the Social Evil’s of Pornography in all its forms of Fornication.

Upon hearing the Battle Cry to Action the Horde of Nursing Home Soldiers of God erupted into an Apocalyptic Super Storm of Self Righteousness. The Old People Protesting started grabbing Merchandise from everywhere in the Store while one Old Lady who looked to be in Her late 90’s held the Door open with her Unsteady liver spotted Hands. Lee suddenly returned to reality, and realized He had to do something about this Religious Riot that was Unraveling before His eyes.

    

“Alright LADIES, LADIES What is going on Here? What is the Problem here? Please STOP acting so insane and just TELL ME what Your ISSUE IS.” Lee pleaded mustering all the Humility He possibly could.

Stay Tuned Kiddies for Tomorrow’s Crazy Installment of

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (14/365)

Thanks for Reading,

   By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (12/365)

The rest of the Day was painfully slow at The Porn Shop with just a sparse handful of Walk Ins off the Street, but no real customers to speak of. The Owner Lee had been told upon His hiring that if Sales were Slow, and it was costing more money to stay open than was Cash coming through the Door to just Lock Up early and knock off early.

It was common sense and Lee rather not be stuck at the Job if there wasn’t anything going on since Battling Boredom was Lee’s primary goal in Life. It’s why He had decided to dedicate the rest of His days on Earth Observing Humanity for one reason and one reason only that being People if nothing else were quite Entertaining.

    

Lee had also adopted a Socrates approach to the rest of His Life which was He accepted (and also admit if and when need be) that He in fact didn’t know jack shit about a single goddamn thing. This way His Ego wouldn’t interfere with what Other People could Teach Him.

People Lee had found were willing (or felt compelled to) talk about subjects that They knew little to nothing about at Length. Lee found this occurrence fascinating and figured that People did it for One of Two reasons.

        

First off it was an obvious Social Pressure. No one wants to be Left out of the Loop, and No One wants to be the designated Office Idiot. The Other reason for the was phenomenon was Ego Driven. People simply felt that on some level They had to prove Their Knowledge or Intelligence to Others when the chance presented itself. Bottom Line in Lee’s onion was People just like to Hear Themselves talk while being paid attention too.

Lee got Himself ready to leave gathering up His belongings, Counting out His cash Drawer, Shutting Down the Shop  Computer, Sexting up whatever was needed for the following Day, and systematically shutting the lights off as He went. Everything was going smoothly, and uneventful. That was until Lee went to finish His final Closing Time Task of Locking The Front Door thats when things got REALLY Interesting.

      

Lee walked over to the Front Door with Keys in Hand ready to lock up and Leave when He noticed the Little Old Lady standing directly on the other side of the Glass Door. Even thought the Glass door like the few Shop windows were Tinted Heavily, but Lee could still see the facial features of the Little Old Ladies due to the fact She was standing so close to the Door Her nose was almost smushed up against it.

As He peered through he Door at the Old Woman the first thought that crossed Lee’s mind was that This was Definitely going to be something different. Again for the Second time that Day Lee felt the Surge of Curiosity well up inside of Him.

        

Stay Tuned Kiddies for Tomorrow’s Installment of Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher ( 13/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (4/365)

The last Porn Sho point Lee was mulling over in his head was along with everything else was that with Social Acceptability now Free from the Religious Righteousness, Guilt, Stigma, Demonization, and Stereotyping of the Past had directly correlated to the Social Shift in Porn Shop Cliental.

The Days of Porn Shops being Inhabited by Lone Pale skinned, Greasy Haired, Sunken Eyed Porn Zombies or Perverts in Trench Coats with Fedoras pulled down over Their eyes, and Hardcore Porn S&M Types had faded into the Obscurity of Days gone By.

In the Times since the Social Shift Porn Shop Customers suddenly became Normal Everyday People They could be anyone You see or pass on the Street. Post is They look just like You or A Soccer Mom. People came in and Smiling, Joking, and just had some fucking fun in Todays Times.

Not to mention Porn Shops started to be frequently Patronized by Couples of all Sexual Types and Orientations. Boy Fiends, Girl Friends, Fiancees, Life Partners, and Married Couples opening a whole new accessible demographic who would have literally NEVER set foot in a Porn Shop thats for fucking Sure.

   

It was then that Les realized His eyes were closed and He had just become aware of it. Damn too many Beers last Night at the Bar Lee thought to Himself as He was already battling a Brutal Hangover. Considering sitting still would only contribute to the issue at hand Lee hopped off the Stool behind the Check Out Counter, and figured now was a good as time as ever to do a little inventory. Nothing like counting Dildos and Inflatable Fuck Dolls to get the Blood Flowing, well it at least it keep Him awake.

A few minutes past as Lee counted Cockrings and Clit Stimulators when He hear the Front Door Bell. Ah the first Customer of the Day Lee thought as He was glad to have anything to do other than fucking Inventory. Lee strode quickly back behind the Cashiers Counter, and took a seat on the rickety Bar Stool and, waited eagerly to see what the preverbal Cat dragged in Today for Him to Observe.

   

Stay Tuned For Tomorrow’s Installment of Lee Jonitits: Professional People Watcher (5/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Web Cam Sex Show Vs. 976-HUMP (4867)

Lets just be Adult about it and admit that since there have been People there has been Porn. Cave Paintings became Nude Portraits. Man invented Tools and Nude Sculptures two minutes later. Man created the Written word and Literary Porn was Born. The things really started to take off.

Then the Invention of the Camera changed the World. It all started with Nude Pictures then evolved through time into Pornographic Magazines such as Playboy or Hustler.

After The Camera blew Everyones Tits off Mr. Bell invented The Phone which led to Phone Sex, The Rise of the 976 SexLines, and Eventual demise due to the invention of the Internet (Why Pay for Porn when You can get it ABSOLUTELY FREE ONLINE FROM ANYWHERE?!)

   

Then Holy Shit someone invented the Movie Camera which introduced Society to Pornographic Movies.

Next the HOME VIDEO CAMERAS AND VIDEO TAPES. Now Everyone could make Their own Sex Tapes, AND with a VCR (first Beta then VHS) People could watch Porno Films in the Comfort, Safety, and Cleanliness  of Their Own Home.

At the same time of the Golden Age of VHS that PC’s were becoming more and more popular, and along with Computers came The Beginning of Gaming as We know it.

And OF COURSE People Invented “Adult 18+ ONLY” Pornographic Games. These Original PC Text Based Role Playing Games are the FARTHEST CRY from the Crazy CGI Adult Games They have out Today. It be like comparing an Atari 2600 to a Playstation 4.

   

The Internet grew to fruition, and that literally gave One the ability to see an ACTUAL WORLD’S WORTH OF PORN FROM AROUND THE GLOBE AND TO THE 4 CORNERS OF THE EARTH.

The Best had yet to come in the Invention of The Smart Phone. Smart Phones had EVERYTHING One would need for Pornographic Activities. It had a Camera, A Video Camera, and Internet Access.

Plus unlike PC and  Laptops Smartphones are Hand Held Devices, and thus can fit in Your Pocket allowing You to take it ANYWHERE at ANYTIME.

This provided the Platform for the Progression of Human Sexuality with such things as Sexting, taking/sending of Nude Selfies, Tumblr, Growler, Craig’s List (Casual Encounters), Emoji being Given Sexual Association. The Eggplant Emoji being designated as the sign for Penis for Example.

   

Now that We’ve covered the basic T and A Timeline heres the point of this for this Post: I will be Comparing/Contrasting Two of the Above: 976 Sex Lines of Yesteryear Vs. The New School Internet Live Web Cam Sex Shows.

As One may have already deduced Each The Old School and New School have Their own Pros and Cons its true. And While Live Web Cam Sex Shows are one of the Top Social, and Technological Pornographic Creation does that make Them Superior

Remember Porn is ENTIRELY FANTASY BASED, and uses the Greatest Sex Organ Available to Humanity (get Your Mind out of Your Crotch) The Mind.

   

I’ll start off with the Old School 976 Sex Lines. For those who are too young to remember or know what the fuck a 976 is it was a Toll Number (90% of which were Sex Lines) You could call for Phone Sex that charged by the MINUTE.

The Numbers always started 976 and the other four digits spelled out something sexual like 976-GIRL, 976-HUMP, 976-SEXX or something similar I’m sure You get the idea.

The FATAL FLAW that Ultimately brought down the 976 Phone Sex Empire was simply GREED. You see as I mentioned Dear Reader these Sex Lines charged per minute, But thats Not All.

   

The First Minute cost on average$2.99 to $4.99 or so. Then for each additional minute after that the Caller was charged a reduced rate of anywhere from $1.00 to $3.00 per minute.

I know reading this You must be wondering Who the fuck would pay that kind of cash for Phone Sex, and the Answer is FAR MORE THAN YOU THINK.

True there are a sparse handful of Late Night Ads for so called  “Adult Chat Lines”, BUT it basically just redirects the Caller in some one or another to a Web Cam Performer.

Nowadays though the Old School Patron’s of 976 Phone Sex Lines are either Dead or Graduated to Online Live Web Cams where They are Charged as Well because New School or Old School its ALWAYS BEEN PAY TO PLAY.

    

True there are Free Live Web Cam Sex Show FOOTAGE available to the Public on Free Adult Sites like YOUPORN, But the Clips are Time Restricted and usually have No Sound (or if music is playing its some shitty sounding R&B  that seems to be playing out of a Tin fucking Can under fucking water.)

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY YOU DON’T HAVE ANY INTERACTION with the Performer like You do with Phone Sex or a Live Web Cam Sex Show. Interaction is the Key to Keeping the Customer Interested because it Fuels The Fires of Fantasy. Thats why Strip Clubs will NEVER DIE, but I’ll get back to that a bit later on.

The Fantasy Factor was MUCH, MUCH GREATER with Phone Sex because YOU HAD NO VISUAL STIMULATION so The Caller had to RELY on Their IMAGINATION as a foundation on which to build said Fantasy.

 

Phone Sex was WAY, WAY more Detailed Oriented making for a much more VIVID Fantasy. It was just The Caller and The Performer one on one with no additional distractions such a music, Computer Sounds, or Other People.

Now Others could argue that Live Web Cam Sex Shows are Superior BECAUSE You can See as well as Interact with the Performer, BUT there are Cons as well that I think FAR out number the One Pro of having the Visual Aspect.

I mean either way Your paying for it so why not get Your money’s Worth?!

   

The Problem with Web Cam Sex Shows is its like a Virtual Strip Club if you will in that You and the Performer are NOT Even close to being alone as there god knows how many other People who are also vying for the Performer’s time and attention. This Creates a Chaotic to Combative Environment since all the Users can see What one another is writing. This is a HUGE fucking Distraction, and Ugly one at that.

In addition to all the Unwanted Company anytime one of them Tips the Performer some annoying fucking Alert Noise goes off like some sort of hyperactive Smoke Alarm having a fucking Seizure. That too is a BIG Distraction, and Distractions Decimate Fantasy.

Lastly the Web Cam Performer’s all seem to be desperately trying to hold the whole production from falling apart by the Performer becoming overwhelmed by having to manage a constant non stop barrage of Comments and Tip Acknowledgements.

   

The Performers end up looking like Awkward like a Cross between a Deer in the Head Lights and a New Born Baby Horse struggling to stand minutes after being born. It’s not an Attractive Look to say the least.

976 Phone Sex Lines gave the Caller a much more Personal and Intimate Fantastical Experience  for the Money in spite of Lacking the Visual Component.

The Operator had to be Incredibly Gifted at Description and Enticing the Caller, They had to Act Their Asses Off since Their Performance could only be Heard and Not Seen. This Led to Operators creating several different Personas to Play with, and really losing Themselves in Their Alternate Work Personas. There was always a Strong Thematic Undertone. It took Skill. It took Talent. It was Professional Story Telling.

 

Now a Days You log into a Web Cam Show and its always the same deal. The Performers naked and fielding a myriad of User Requests. You see its not a One on One scenario instead You thrown into a MASSIVE MIX of Every Other Users Fantasies leading to a Schizophrenic Atmosphere.

That and a lot of the Other Users are just Barbaric Primal Male Scumfucks Type YELLING demands like “Shove such-in-such Up/In…” I mean talk about a fucking Distraction.

In Conclusion Which is Better The Old 976 Phone Sex Lines or The Live Web Cam Sex Shows of Today? Well I leave You to desert that for Yourself. If You give a flying fuck what I think then I’ll tell you. I have no fucking idea. It really comes down to the Type of Person You Are in the End I suppose.

Now before I sign the fuck off I will say I believe the Best Spank Bank Fantasy if You will for Your Money is The Strip Club. They Have Good Music, Booze, Plenty of Performers, and if You want more intimate Experience You can Buy a Lap Dance. Its the Best of Both Worlds really. You have the Visual Component AND a more Structured One On One Design.

Thanks for Reading,

   By Les Sober

Quick Quiz Could Change Your Reality

Hello Reader(s),

If You opt to take the following Quiz Please follow these Guidelines:

  • Take Your Time. This isn’t some Convoluted Cosmo Quiz.
  • Think Over Your Answers. Question Everything.
  • BE HONEST. This is not some piece of Fluff Post.
  • This Quiz Could Alter Your Perception of Reality, The World, Humanity, Your Friends, Your Family, Coworkers, Significant Others, Neighbors, The Universe, Yourself, or Life & Death Permanently.
  • Pictures Have Been Added For The Purpose of Stimulating The Your Pre Frontal Cortex While Taking The Quiz.

For those reasons the ANSWER KEY won’t be Posted for a couple to a few Days as again it pays dividends to TAKE YOUR TIME, BE SURE OF YOUR ANSWERS, and BE HONEST (Otherwise Your Only Going To Fool Yourself, and the Quiz will be NULL & VOID.

   

1. Would You Ever Buy Something Off The Dark Web?                                                 A. Sure Why Not?!                                                                                                                        B. No Seems Like A Bad Idea.                                                                                                C. OH HELL YEAH, I’m An Asshole Who Lives Dangerously and Has No Fear Of Death!                                                                                                                                       D. OH HELL NO, I Don’t Want End Up In Prison.

2. Even If Its Prepared Correctly By A Master Sushi Chef Japanese Blow Fish or Fugu still has a 1 in 66 chance of Death When Eaten. Would You Ever Try Fugu?                                                                                                                                              A.  Yes I’ve Heard Its Tasty.                                                                                                    B.  No Thanks I Don’t Have a Death Wish.                                                                      C. I Know What Fire IS So I Don’t Eat Raw Fish. I’m An Asshole.                         D.  What The Fuck Is Wrong With This Red Lobster?!

3.When You Go To The Adult Store Do You…                                                                 A. Buy Something.                                                                                                                     B. Look Around Briefly And Leave.                                                                                    C. Realize You Could Have Done Your Adult Shopping Online.                             D.  I Don’t Indulge In Any Porn or Adult Store Merchandise, and I’m a Lying. I’m an Asshole.

     

4. What Kind of Pet Person Are You?                                                                                A. Rodents (Rats, Mice, Gerbils, Hamsters, Guine Pigs) Because I Forgot About The Black Plague                                                                                                          B.  Dog, Their Mankind’s Best Friend For A Reason.                                                 C.  Cat, They Were Worshiped Egyptians and They Had Pyramids so Thats Cool..                                                                                                                                               D. Fish. I’m a Simple Person Keeping It Simple.                                                          E. Bird. I’m a Masochist.                                                                                                         F. Reptiles. Dinosaurs Baby, Living Fucking DINOSAURS!                                     G. Unconventional (Pot Bellied Pig, Miniature Goat, Tarantulas, Scorpions, Hedgehog etc. I Was Born Without A Identity so Now My Identity Is My Pet. Also I’m An Asshole.

5. What Kind Of Motor Vehicle Is Your Type “Dream Car” ?                                  A. Sports: Speed Kills So Lets Die Fast!                                                                            B. SUV: I’ve Always Wondered What It Be Like To Be a Godzilla Sized Asshole.                                                                                                                                          C. Luxury: I’m a Rich Fat Bastard, and I Want The World To KNOW IT!          D. Truck: Bigger The Truck Littler The Man (Height and Penis)                         E. Motorcycle: Because Car Crashes Can’t Kill You Fast Enough.                         F. Moped/Scooter: I Like Motorcycles, But I’m Too Scared To Own One.

6. What Is Your Preferred Type/Style of Music?                                                          A. Heavy Metal: What I’m Middle Aged and Nostalgic.                                            B.  EMO: I’m Dark, Brooding, Deep and Clinically Depressed.                              C. Classic Rock: I’m a Hippy Hangover From 1969.                          D.Death/Black Metal: We Are All Going To Hell & I Have The Soundtrack!     E. Folk: I’m Heavily Medicated.                                                                                           F. Jazz: I Like Things That Sounds Like Schizophrenia Put To Music.              G. Pop: I’m a Mindless Commercial Lemming.                                                           H. Classical: I Like To Think I’m An Intellectual, I Listen To NPR.                      I. Punk: I Refuse To Admit Punk IS DEAD.                                                                       J. EMD: I’m a Bot.                                                                                                                      K.  Country: I Don’t Mind The Hypocrisy and Commercialism because I Like Horses and Playing Cowboys and Indians.                                                                     L. Talk Radio/Podcasts: I Didn’t Understand The Question, and I’m an Asshole.  

      

7. When Its Comes To Social Media Do You………                                                         A. I Check Once and a While, I Like Keeping Tabs On Shit.                                     B. I Check It Frequently and Often Because I Need To Stay In The Loop.          C. I Check It  CONSTANTLY I CAN’T AFFORD TO MISS A GODDAMN THING  D. I LIVE in Social Media, I’ve Fully Exited Physical Reality                                  E. I DON’T Check Because I Enjoy My Real Actual Life. Shove Second Life Up Your Avatar’s Ass.

        

8. What Kind Of Movies Do You Prefer To Watch?                                                      A. Horror: I’m a Sick and Twisted Little Puppy                                                            B. Action: Lets Blow Some Shit Up Already!                                                                  C. Drama: Because Life Doesn’t Have Enough Drama For Me.                              D. Foreign: I’m Profound & Worldly.                                                                                E. Rom-Com: Sometimes I Need a Break From Eharmony.                                    F. Documentary: Fuck Fiction I Want to Know What Is Really Going On in The World. Fiction, Save That Shit For Mordor.                                                          G. Mockumentary: Fuck Facts I DON’T Want to Know Whats Really Going On.                                                                                                                                                   H. Comedy: The Laugh More, Live Longer Philosophy                                              I. Thriller: I Like Being Scared, BUT I Can’t Handle Hardcore Horror.               J. Rockumentary: I Don’t just Want To Listen To Bands I Want To Know All The Behind The Scenes Shit Too!    

        

9. When I Drink I………                                                                                                             A. Shots! Shots! Shots!                                                                                                            B. Break Out The Beer Bong and Lets Party.                                                                  C. Have a Glass Of Wine With Dinner.                                                                              D. Have A Few Beers To Unwind After a Long Day.                                                     E. Go To The Bar and Shut That Fucker Down.                                                              F. Binge The Frat Life and I’m an Asshole.                                                                    G. Responsibly                                                                                                                            H. Like Theres NO Tomorrow and I Have A Hallow Leg.                                            I. Drink Like My Name IS Andre The Giant.                                                                    J. Drink Night and Day Because I’m an Alcoholic.                                                      K. Drink Cocktails Because I like To Classy Up My Boozing.                                  L. I Don’t Drink because I’m probably a fucking Alien.  

10. Where Do You Aquire Your Pornography?                                                               A. YouPorn.Com                                                                                                                         B. PornHub.Com                                                                                                                        C. Alternate Free Pornography Site.                                                                                  D. I Pay For My Porn Sites Like An Asshole.                                                                   E. Offline. I’m a Dinosaur and Still By Porno Magazines because I Like Reading The Articles.  

11. When It Comes To Trends I………                                                                                  A. Follow Blindly Like a Sheep.                                                                                            B. Make Sure I Conform To The New Trend WHILE Claiming Not To Be a Trend Follower.                                                                                                                          C. Follow Half Heartedly.                                                                                                       D. I Live To Trend, I’m a Hipster Asshole.                                                                      E. I DEPEND ON TRENDS I wasn’t Born With A Personality So I Need Trends To Define Me.                                                                                                                              F. Trends Are For Twats. I’m Not a Twat.

        

12. When I Smoke Marijuana I………                                                                                   A. Puff, Puff, Pass                                                                                                                      B. Break Out The Bong and Bomb it Like Bagdad.                                                       C. Smoke Straight To The Head By Myself.                                                                    D. Call My Friends and Bust Out The Bag/ Bust Out A Bag.                                     E. Smoke The Whole Bag From Beginning To End in One Sitting Like a Super High Hedonist.                                                                                                                            F. Wake And Bake BABY!                                                                                                           G. Smoke Socially because Hey Its Free.                                                                         H. Smoke Until I’m SO STONED I have To Hold Onto A Blade Of Grass To Keep From Falling Off The Planet.                                                                                      I. Smoke Like I’m Giving Cheech and Chong a Run For Their Money.                J. Smoke Like My Names Doug Benson.                                                                          K. Smoke Like a Chimney                                                                                                       L. Smoke Like I’m Trying To Smoke Colorado Dry.                                                  M. Smoke To Unwind After Work.                                                                                     N. 24/7 Like Snoop Dog.                                                                                                         O. Smoke Until The Tellitubbies Talk To Me.                                                                P. Smoke and Run Up a $600 GrubHub Bill                                                                   Q. Smoke Old School and Roll Up A Joint                                                                        R. Smoke New School and Roll Up a Blunt.                                                                     S. I Don’t Smoke Weed I Vape it and lecture People Who Didn’t Fucking Ask How Much Better It Is For You Than Smoking Weed. I’m a Self-righteous Asshole.                                                                                                                                         T. I Smoke SO MUCH Weed I Forgot How Much I Actually Smoke.                     U. I Don’t Smoke Weed and I’m Lying.

13. Air Guitar  OR Air Drums?                                                                                               A. Air Guitar: I Mean They Based The Widely Popular Video Game Rock Band Game on The Principle Of Air Guitar!                                                                               B. Air Drums: You Wanna Really Rock, DRUM SOLO!                                                C. Air Harpsichord: I’m an Asshole                                                                                   D. I play a REAL LIFE Drums/Guitar/Other Actual Musical Instrument.   

14. When It Comes To The Government I Believe………                                             A. Love Those Bastards, Good Job and Wouldn’t Change a Thing.                      B. Its a Necessary Evil                                                                                                              C. Its Time For a REVOLUTION.                                                                                          D. The System is Broken as Fuck, Scrap Current Model and Start Over.           E. Fuck Big Brother Period.                                                                                                    F. ANARCHY Live Free & Die Free.

    

15. When I Gamble I………                                                                                                        A. Play It Safe, And Stick To The Slots Like a Senior Citizen.                                 B.  I Set a Budget Before Hand, and Then Let The Chips Fall Where They May.                                                                                                                                                 C. Play Fast and Loose Because You Only Live Once so Fuck Consequences.  D. Play Like Your Auditioning For The World Series of Poker.                              E. Until I pass Out Or Puke From All The Free Fucking Drinks.                             F. I Don’t Gamble Probably Because I’m an Asshole.

    

16. When It Comes To Racists I Believe                                                                           A. Whole Heartedly In The 1st Amendment.                                                                  B. They’re Good People, and I’m a Trump Loving MAGA ASSHOLE.                  C. Racists Are Entitled To Their Opinion.                                                                       D. Racists Are Entitled To Their Opinion Even if Its Being a Bigot.                     E. Racists Are Fucking Scumbags                                                                                       F. My Favorite Game Is “PUNCH A NAZI”

17. When It Comes To Religion I Believe………                                                               A. There Is a God and We Should fucking FEAR HIM!                                               B. The Bible is a Moral/Ethical Historical Handbook Full Of Valid Advice.      C. God MIGHT Be Real So Better Play It Safe, and Go To Church.                        D. Heaven Or Hell Religion Doesn’t Matter To Me.                                                    E. I’m a Spiritual Person, Organized Religion is Man Made.                                  F. All Hail Mermenozoid!                                                                                                       G. Cults Are Cool so Whats Up With Scientology?                                                       H. Man Created God In HIS OWN IMAGE.                                                                        I. Take EVERY WORD of My Religious Text of Choice LITERALLY Because I’m a Religious Fanatic Like an Vile Evangelical.                                                      J. Science Over Organized Religion.                                                                                      K. There is Something Bigger Than Humans, BUT its Something Like The Universe or Nature for Example.                                                                                        L. The Ancient Greeks/Romans/Egyptians Had It Right.                                       M. How Would I Know About Religion I’m a Reincarnated Flat Worm.            N. See You In The Halls of Valhalla ASSHOLES!

    

18. When It Comes To Exercise I………                                                                               A. Believe My Body Is A Temple and I’m Its Maintenance Man.                           B. I’m just a Few Pounds Overweight, And Not That Out Of Shape so Steady As She Goes.                                                                                                                                 C. I Exercise Now and Then Basically Half Ass It.                                                       D. I’m Fine Buying Fitness Equipment, and Letting It Rot Covered in Dust In My Basement/Attic/Garage as I Always Have.                                                              E. I Love Exercising I’m a Gym Rat.                                                                                   F. I’m a Fitness Fanatic, I’m Running In Place While I Read This.                      G. I Need to Exercise, But Don’t Because I always Put It Off Till Tomorrow Like An Asshole.

   

19. When I Come To The Police I Think………                                                                 A. I Believe They Are In Fact Here To Protect & Serve Us                                         B. They Police Have Some Serious Problems That Need Correction.                  C.  Blue Lives Matter, and I’m an Utter Asshole.                                                         D. The Police Are The Biggest Criminals in America.                                                E. We Should Dismantle The Police System, And Reinstitute State Militias Or Wild West Modeled Sherriff’s Like Wyatt Eurp.                                                           F. The Police Are Just High School Nerds, and Now Have a Badge so They’re The Bully Now.                                                                                                                           G. Good Cops Are A Myth.                                                                                                      H. The Police Are Useless, Vigilante Justice Is The Only Way To Go.

    

20. When It Comes To Snakes and Spiders Which Are You More Afraid Of         A. Snakes: Obviously Remember The Garden Of Eden.                                             B. Spiders: They Can Crawl Into Your Ear, Lay Eggs, and The Babies Eat Your fucking Brain.                                                                                                                              C. Both Whats Wrong With You?                                                                                        D. Neither: I’m The Asshole Exception To The Rule.

 Brought To You By Les Sober

Written By: The University of Psychological Arts, The Synaptic Society,

& The Swedish Institute of Neuropsychology Research and Development.

 

Revised By: The Cerebral Studies Foundation & The Grey Matter Grant

Edited By: The Psychological Sociology Administration of Japan

Published By: InnerSelf Incorporated, Synaptic Storm,

& The Third Eye Institute for Developmental Cerebral Research.

Madness Beyond Midnight: Les Unleashes Atomic Text Bomb

 

I’m not a morning person, nor am I an Afternoon person. I am the typical Night Owl exemplified a thousand fold. I get my so called second wind around 10:30-11:00pm and by say 2 am I’m up and running firing on all cylinders.

I have a tendency to text bomb Spacedog since he doesn’t mind fielding an avalanche of texts at all hours of the night, and more importantly Spacedog is one of the very few people I can write/text/say anything to. Thus I text the most extremely perverted, obscene, Absurd, Foul, Offensive, Insulting, Outrageous, Raunchy, Demented, Insanely Crazy, Controversial, Unorthodox, and “WTF” texts his way.

Last Night was no acceptation. The following are texts I sent to Spacedog starting at 1:49am with the last text sent around 3:00am.

1:49am The Insanity Ensues:

My Feet Wreak Of Scotch

It was actually a decent dinner party until Eric tickled Theresa’s twat, and one of his sausage fingers slipped through her beef curtains ending up knuckle deep in her happy humping hole. At that point we were all kicked the hell out drunk as drunk can be into the nefarious night.

Bollywood has an emerging Pornography industry that has actual 4 hour long fucking musical orgies of Singing, Sexing, Dancing & Dicking with the Super Slutty Cunny Sutra.

My New Favorite Insult: “Go Fucking Fist Yourself” or “Go Fist Fuck Your Face”

Karl got his cock cut off down at the Slimy Sausage Packaging Plant by humping on a Industrial Disemboweling-Internal Organ Processing Machine.

“DAMN THESE ELECTRIC SEX PANTS!”

Masa Clitty world renowned Scottish Folk Singer and Exquisite Anal Gaping Artist

Look Into The Eye Of My Ass To See What Shit IS Going Down.

Feel the Wrath of a Drunk Skunk Rage Humping Your Leg and Cumming on your socks for Spite.

Over Time How Far Do Vaginal Lips Sag as they head South?!

I’m suffering the onset symptoms of Saggy Senior Scrotum Aging Disorder, so I scheduled an appointment to Botox my Balls Tomorrow at 5:30 the AMs

Phil was a generally smart motherfucker who was killed by a Cannibal when he mistakenly told the Cannibal to “Eat My Ass”

The Young Cocksman Vs. The Salty Yogurt Singers for the Best New Porno Punk Rock Group 2017

If He Be a She and She Be a He then aren’t we just back where we started?!

New Porn Title: Licking Lot Lizards: The Trucker Fucker Union

Boner Toner For All Your Porn Star Needs.

I’m not giving coal to the people I deem to have been naughty this year. Instead I will be giving them 3 Pounds of Unwashed Wild Pif Pubes.

Sci Fi Porn is just Fucking With Phasers.

SciFi Pornos: All Alien Anal 11

HOLY ANAL GAPING GOPHERS BATMAN!

Can Drag Queens hide their Balls by sticking them in their butts?!

Justin Bieber’s Man Beaver

My New Death Metal Punk Band is Called THE MANGLED MANGINAS

Get It Up, Get It In, Get It Off, and Get It Out

They be Swank Fucking Fancy.

TODAY AT 5:56am Text From Spacedog

Hi. New Blog? Lol

Thanks for Das READ,

Les Sober