A Regrettable Pawn Stars Cartoon

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring A REGRETTABLE PAWN STARS CARTOON by One of Our Favorite Animators/Content Creators MeatCanyon. MEATCANYON: MeatCanyon’s real name is Hunter August Hancock better know by His online user name MeatCanyon. Hancock is an American Youtuber, Animator, Voice Actor, Comedian, Writer, and Director who makes Parody Animations of Popular Characters (say Sponge Bob for instance). Some viewers of MeatCanyon’s Animations  have been Described them in just One Single Word “Horrifying”. A common on going gag in Hancock’s video’s is that Something Normal or Mundane gets You Killed or Possible Worse.

We get a Real Kick Out of this Particular MeatCanyon Cartoon for Several Reasons.One Being Reality TV is Utter fucking Mind Numbing, IQ Dropping fucking Drivel. There is Simply NOT A GODDAMN THING REAL ABOUT IT, It’s a Fucking Entertainment Whore Trend perpetrated by the Shitty Television Networks. All Reality TV Accomplishes is making Dumbfucks Famous for being NOTHING MORE than Ego Driven, Self Obsessed, Personality-less, Ignorant, and being a Complete and Total Fucktarded. So Fuck Pawn Stars Too it’s No Better than the Bullshit Bachelor. But We Digress at Least for Now.

Another Reason We Thoroughly Enjoy this MeatCanyon Animation is it’s Complete Mockery of Christianity. Especially in Today’s Climate with Republicunts Trying to Turn America BACK to 1700’s fucking England the Filthy Motherfucking Anal Cunts. Organized Religion is one of the WORST Things Humanity has ever fucking Created and Breeds fucked up Fanatics. FREEDOM OF RELIGION REPUBLICUNTS FREEDOM OF FUCKING RELIGION. Bottomline Fuck Jesus.

DISCLAIMER AFTER THE FACT: IF THE ABOVE OFFENDS YOU THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BY NOW THAT FYB AIN’T FUCKING FOR YOU. WE DO NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR PEOPLE’S STUPIDITY.

The Last Reason We get a Kick Out of this MeatCanyon Creation is it’s Utter fucking Absurdity and When it come to the Theater of the Absurd We have Season fucking Tickets. To Those Offended by the Cartoon or Our Comments GET FUCKING REAL IT’S FUCKING FICTION! If The Idea of Someone Attempting to Pawn/Sell an Actual Living and Breathing Crucified Christ You need to Slam Your Genitals Repeatedly in a Car Door because People Like You Shouldn’t be Breeding any Dumbfuck Kids. ALSO if You want to be all butt hurt about it Listen Here. At the End of the Movie OLD YELLER the Young Boy has to Shoot His Beloved Dog Old Yeller because He contracted Rabies. BUT THATS NOT ALL in the Disney Family Animated Classic Bambi Bambi’s Mom get Shot right in the Beginning of the fucking Movie. So if Fiction Offends You go be Offend by that Shit and Leave This and Us the fuck Alone.

It is What it Is,

  Presented By Les Sober

Pick Up Artists Are Fucking Frauds

I’ve been meaning to write something on this subject for quite awhile but basically forgot about it. The other Day however I was rifling through countless Notebooks and Shit reviewing My Numerous Notes, and Low and Behold I saw a Note about doing a Pick Up Artist Piece. Since there is No Time like the Present as They say so Here We Go.

            

So what the fuck is a Pick Up Artist? Well Their a Bunch of Over Zealous Frat Boy Date Rapist Douchebags who run around like They Bleed Red Bull with this Fake Bravado claiming to have Fail Safe Techniques to get Guys Laid. They go as far as to create bullshit Persona’s for Themselves (based on the Alpha Male Mythology) like Their fucking Rappers or Comic Book Superheroes which is Pretty fucking Lame. They basically try Their damnedest to Emulate the Stereotypical Macho Assholes They think Woman want to Be with a Great Deal of Overkill (A Perfect Example is Tom Cruise’s Fictional Character in the Movie Magnolia). Point being They’re Fake as Fuck from the Get Go.

What do Pick Up Artists (Who I will now refer to as Pick Up Assholes since that’s a far more accurate description) Do? Well essentially They prey on Shy, Insecure, Introverted, and Socially Anxious Gullible Guys Who have legit issues when it comes to Relating to Women. They Promise if the Guys follow (aka Pay For) Their “Techniques” that They are guaranteed to be transformed into a Slick, Suave Ladies Man that Woman will Line Up to have Sex With. These  Techniques to Trick Women into Sleeping with You are so fucking convoluted (Not to Mention Overly Complicated as well) they come off like so sort of Hybrid of Military Code crossed with Advanced Calculous.

              

The Pick Up Asshole recruits New Clients the same fucking way a Drug Dealer Does it’s the same fucking Method. The Process starts off Free via Youtube Video Suggestions that Lead the User down a Youtube Rabbit Hole of this Pick Up Asshole indoctrination. Next the Client is coherst into taking the Next Step which is Purchasing Several Hundreds of Dollars worth of Pick Up Asshole Books and so called Study Materials. Then once the Guy is Hooked their directed to take it up to the Next Level by attending a Paid Seminar which lets face it are Glorified Ted Talks. And These Scam Seminars aren’t cheap not by a fucking long shot as They Run $1,000 to $3000 depending on Who’s Charging. Scam Seminars can be Half a day up to 3 Days and Again the Longer the Seminar the Higher the Ticket Price.

NOW FOR MY REAL POINT. These Pick Up Assholes operate like a wannabe Secret Society with Heavily Guarded and Allegedly Flawless Techniques that also Assumes Women Don’t know Anything About Them. Thus like a Magician or Illusionist for the Techniques to Work You Don’t tell a Single Soul how the Trick(s) are Done. I mean it’s Far Easier to Win a Game if the Other Opponent doesn’t Know They’re Playing. Point Being that the Whole Pick Up Asshole Sub Culture is based on and Thrives on these Alleged Techniques to Manipulate  Woman into Sleeping with You.

                

Here is the the Argument My Point is Based on which is How the fuck is a Secret Society Effective if Everyone Knows about it. You Don’t see the fucking Free Masons running around Explaining Themselves to the Outside World. You See in 2007 one of The Pick Up Asshole’s Major Players who goes by Nickname Mystery had a Reality TV Show Literally called “The Pick Up Artist”. The show was a moderate success and Lasted for Two Season from August 6, 2017 through November 30, 2008 that was Broadcast on National fucking Television. The entire Premise of the Shitty Show was Nine Male Contestants who are Unlucky in Love/With the Ladies get Pointers in the “Fine Art” of picking up Woman from Self Proclaimed Seduction Artist Mystery and His two Wingmen, Tara and Matador. The Show presented all the Tricks of the Trade again to a National Audience for Two fucking Years in a Row, and These Pick Up Assholes never realized WOMEN WATCH TV TOO WOMEN LIKE REALITY TV SHOWS/COMPETITIONS TOO. The Ultimate Result was instead of Boosting Cliental and Their Bank Accounts the Pick Up Artists taught Women that this Bullshit Exists, AND How it’s Done.

The Show had Exposed and Explained all of the Pick Up Bullshit to an Audience that included MILLIONS of Women thus rendering the Systems Useless. The Jig Was Up. Luckily for the Scumfuck Pick Up Artists Time Passes and People’s Memories Fade Away so the Industry went back Underground and regrouped from Pick Up Artist Show clusterfuck.

            

Fast Forward to 2020 and as I mentioned Earlier the Pick Up Artists have Gravitated to Youtube to Promote Their Ridiculous Horseshoe. Now it makes sense that in the Age of Social Media that Anyone with a Business would Use it as a Major PR Tool. How do You keep Your Techniques a Secret from Women when Your Posting Video after Video Advertising, Demonstrating, and Showcasing Your Brand of Techniques?! And Not to Beat a Dead Horse here, BUT WOMEN WATCH YOUTUBE TOO so again these Pick Up Assholes are Shooting Themselves in the fucking Foot. Secret Techniques DON’T WORK if Everyone Especially the Target Group KNOWS ALL ABOUT THEM for Fuck’s Sake. These Assholes need to Buy a fucking Dictionary and Look Up the Definition of Detrimental.

Thats the Equivalent of say During World War 2 America called up the Japanese Military and said “Oh Hey America here We just wanted to inform You wWe have invented the Biggest and Deadliest Bomb Known to Man. It’s called an Atom Bomb and We’re going to Drop one on Hiroshima on August 6th, and one on Nagasaki on August 9th. It will cause Mass Destruction and Death so Stay Tuned.” It’s also like America calling Osama Bin Ladin and saying “Hey There Bunny Old Boy we have a Elite Navy Seal Team in Route to Your Locations so Please Stay Put.” And the Simplest Metaphor would be a Bank Robber standing in front of a Bank in a Ski Mask waving His Gun Around and Screaming at the top of his Lungs “HEY EVERYBODY I’M ABOUT TO ROB THIS FUCKING BANK RIGHT HERE!!!! Its Utterly fucking Moronic Seriously Who does shit like that? No One Thats fucking Who.

              

You may be wondering at this point Why then would these Outrageous Assholes still be Doing what They’re Doing in spite of the Aforementioned Reasons that due to Over Exposure the Pick Up Artists Fieldi s an  Increasingly Futile Venture? The Answer is Simple They do it for the Attention and the Money the two things these Over Rated Con Artists are Really Interested in. I Mean really Who cares if Everyone Knows Your full of fucking shit if there Still Poor Suckers out there Buying all Your Bullshit Merchandise and Tickets to Your Shitty Seminars.

The Saddest part of the Whole Pick Up Asshole Scams are when al is said and done the Client is Out Hundreds to Thousands of Dollars, have a bunch of Utterly Useless Materials and Techniques. The Worst part is on Top of all that They Still Can’t Score with the Ladies. Even if You Play Devil’s Advocate and let’s say all the bullshit Techniques actually worked it still Ends Badly. Hooking Up is Fun when You’re Young, but there comes that time when on Day You wake up and go “I’m tired of all this bullshit.” ,and then realize You want more out of Life than just Meaningless Sex. The Problem is if all You know is How to Hook Up with Women You’re left out in the Cold in the End. That’s because You don’t have a fucking Clue about having or maintaining an Actual Relationship be it Long Term or Otherwise. Essential it doesn’t matter which Path You choose to take They both end up in an Isolated and Alienated Existence Absolutely Alone.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

(P1:21amT)

Drama Queens Need to Get Themselves Killed

Yup you guessed it this Post pertains to Drama Queens who fall in the category of “People We Love To Hate”.

If you don’t believe me just watch 5 fucking minutes of ANY “Reality” TV Show, and since We are on the subject if you watch “Reality” TV or one of the Contest Shows do Me a favor. STOP READING THIS, GO THE HELL AWAY, AND DON’T COME BACK. I have no time for such Bullshit.

Recently I was informed about a particular Drama Queen who’s shitty shenanigans were reeking a good bit of havoc as it were. Now this isn’t just an EXCEPTIONAL Drama Queen, this Drama Queen could be one for the Books. Here’s what happened in a Nutshell.

My Brother T joined a Pinball Team that is part of a Pinball or as he refers to it as “A Drinking Team that happens to play Pinball.”, but since he joined he’s had a lot of fun, met cool characters, made some friends, and generally has a great fucking time.

The Team meets and was competing on a recent Tuesday evening and my Brother’s Wife L came over to the Bar (They always meet and Play in a Bar with varying venues) where My Brother was already warming up for the nights competition.

Outside in a small group of smokers was a tattooed sudo hipster woman who introduced her self to L as Shittney (remember kids I don’t use real names of People or Places)

Now Shinttney is one of those extremely extroverted personality types that get right up in your personal space, and will tell you anything including seriously personal shit. Shit such as Their Great Grandfather was arrested for molesting a circus Elephant or Their sibling is in jail for blowing up a bus full of fucking Nuns.

So it did’t take Shittney long to inform L that the Owner of the Bar where their playing (and captain of that night’s opposing team)   used to date, but not only that she also said she wanted to and I quote “Crush Him”. The first red fucking flag here was the fact that while Shittney and the Bar owner J did date for a while they broke up FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO, FATAL ATTRACTION MUCH THERE OR WHAT?!!

Granted Break Ups by definition suck and suck bad, but if your not over someone 4 years after splitting up, GET PROFESSIONAL PSYCHIATRIC HELP YOU HAVE SERIOUS PERSONAL ISSUES is all I’m saying.

Red Flag number 2 considering the time-lapse between J and Shittney’s dating period she is far more than likely to be one of those bullshit Voyeuristic Cyber Stalkers.

Their the one’s that slink around in the shadows cast by the Internet’s bastard spawn Social media lurking in silence. Periodically they surf around observing people from either their past like ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, High School Classmates or Co-workers from the past and the present for example just to “See whats new with them.”

Anyway back to the Story Shittney gets her wish as her Team Beats J’s Team for that Night’s Win. AND HERE IS WHERE IT GETS DRAMA QUEEN CRAZY.

The next day following the Competition (and in spite of the fact THEY WON) hopped on Social Media using some Face Book Bullshit as her platform, and then railed against my Brother’s Team

She didn’t just go after her ex boyfriend and Team Captain she singled out even single member of the Team in this bullshit tirade. The main accusation (which of course Shittney is portraying as a hard cold Fact) is that the entire Team are cheaters.

Yup their scumbag cheaters who try and cheat every chance they get, they don’t obey the rules, and rig game play (I’m still unsure of what that criteria is or means but I’m doing my best here so if you don’t like it well shit on you.) and as par of the shitty social media madhouse several Pinball Trolls jumped on the band wagon in agreement.

Now I ask you Ladies and Gentlemen,

WHO THE FUCK COMPLAINS,BITCHES, AND INSULTS THE OTHER TEAM WHEN THEY’RE THE FUCKING WINNERS?!!!

“YOU CHEATED!” Accusations stem predominately from Poor fucking Losers as an excuse for why they suck as bad as they do. Trust me they suck big and they suck hard (that didn’t come out quite like I meant it, but I’m leaving it as is.)

In the End J stepped down as Team Captain, My Brother’s Team lost 2 great guys as well as terrific players, J finally made a statement addressing the accusations a bit late in the game, and finally J and Shittney sat down and recorded a Podcast that addressed any and all current ongoing issues between the two teams.

To lighten the mood a bit I’m going to list the main types of the assorted Drama Queens we find ourselves surrounded by and having to deal with. WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE SO DON’T BULLSHIT. Either a friend, Family Member, Co-Worker/Boss, Friend of a Friends, Wife/Husband, Someone’s kid(s), someone you dated, or some sort of run in with a Drama Queen

  1. The Terminator’s: They earn their name from the Arnold Schwarzenegger because like Arnold said so eloquently “I’ll Be Back” These are the Drama Queens that Stalkers are made of. They can’t let go, in fact their lives become dominated with the daydream that perhaps one day you two will be reunited in Love. These People are fucking DELUSIONAL.
  2.  The Shakespeare: These are women driven solely by Revenge. They are the “Wrath of Women Scorned” demographic. Everything shitty in the past relationship and since is YOUR FAULT and thus YOU SHALL PAY. These are the Dangerous fuckers due to the penchant for violence.

3. The Victim: These people have taken Victimization and transformed it into a fucking art form. Their lives would be wonderful if everyone they know or encounter wasn’t out to spite them, cheat them, abuse them, lie to them, fuck them over etc.  These are the ones that claim they can’t obtain Heaven being dragged down by so many other People’s Hells.

4. The Isolationist: These are the simplest forms or types of Drama Queens. The shun the usual shit show spectacle opting to Lock Themselves in a room classically a Bed or Bathroom is the preference of such people. They are the slow grind as dealing with them is like a fucking Police Hostage Negotiation where the Victim and the Perp are the same fucking person

5. The Banshee: The Loudest and likely most theatrical of all Drama Queens.  These people will EXPLODE in a TSUNAMI of Hysterical Crying, Wailing, Whining, and other types of non verbal guttural vocalizations. These People keep fucking Kleenex in business.

6. The Shunners: These people take a classic play out of the Amish Playbook. They believe silence makes Guilty People Uneasy so by utterly ignoring you they hope you’ll see where you fucked up and come running to apologize. I for one don’t give a damn if someone wants to act like I’m fucking dead so these people are of no concern to me.

7. The Dark One: These are the Gothic type of Drama Queen. These people will lay around in bed listening to the fucking Cure or some Emo bullshit while refusing to eat. They are the Doom and Gloom People whose worlds are dark and forbidding, a place where love goes to die and shitty poetry written.

8. The Martyr: These people honestly believe that they are the center of the fucking Universe, and without them everyone they knows life would fall the fuck apart, and everyone would meet a horrible fate. These are the classic “Get off the Cross someone needs the Wood” people.

Well Thats all I Have For Now.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober  

Lollipop Chainsaw Ep.2: This Fucking Guy

Let me recap though there isn’t that much to cover.

I woke up so to speak or came to rather I was smack dab in the middle of one hell of a shit storm let me tell you.

I was in some sort of vehicle that crashed where I don’t have a fucking clue.

I’m not alone though there is some Guy with me who seems like he’s a real tool.

Then again how would I know he’s a complete stranger.

And this Guy tells me there are others AND that it’s vital we find them if they aren’t ALREADY DEAD.

The way I see it its the same fucking thing really isn’t it?!

We’re going to locate them even if its just their corpses.

The actual question is simply will we find a Living Body or a Dead One.

Back to the Action….

I don’t know if this Guy is really my superior or if he just thinks he is.

You know what I’m saying?

He’s one of those self righteous assholes who assumes where ever it is they are that they are inevitably in charge.

This Guy keeps insisting that we have to get move faster.

We were just in a major fucking crash, I mean what the fuck does this asshole want from me.

Going where exactly?!

I sure as hell haven’t a clue where we are does He?!

I’m going to say nothing for now as my stratagy.

Or I’m going with it for now anyway.

It’ll give me a chance to see what this Guy is all about.

The less I say the more he’ll let his guard down allowing me to see who the fuck He REALLY is..

Then I can catch a glimpse to help assess if this fuck is truly a FRIEND or FOE.

I shook my head No and held out my hand in the classic “After You” pose, and off we go.

Looks like he’s leading us down the beach towards a Peninsula that lies far in front of us.

My fucking legs are aching like a Old Man’s.

I hope we get off this goddamn Beach soon the walking on sand shit is killing me I’m sure of it.

The best thing I can do here is Day Dream to escape the monotony of the March down this fucking cursed Beach.

I like this day dream it’s the one where I’m  back home in my shitty apartment sitting on the couch I found sitting on the curb.

There I eat really crappy for you junk food, watching the most mindless of “Reality” tv shows, and doing a shit ton of Bong Hits.

The Dream is wonderful because NOTHING is going on to give a shit about.

Unlike here where I now seem to be giving a shit about every tiny fucking thing.

Jesus this Guy rambles on non fucking stop like some sort of  Propaganda machine thats developed a basic consciousness.

He keeps repeating that we need to reach the peninsula and set up a base camp.

Its survival protocol that we establish Shelter, start a fire, and Locate a fresh water source He informs me.

That and we can start to search for the Others at the break of dawn.

Again by the dim light it could be the crack of dawn right fucking now.

It could also be the last of a lingering Twilight as Night moves swiftly in.

Fucking Emergency. Fucking Protocol.

And this fucking Guy whats next?!!

*Look for Lollipop Chainsaw Ep.3: When do We divert to Cannibalism?!*

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober 

Hats off to Viceland

Viceland is a new fledgling television network who’s headquarters are in Brooklynn N.Y. and I have to say good fucking job Vineland. The intelligent documentary style shows are brilliant be it Weediquette, Vine Essentials, Gaycation, F*Thats good, Balls Deep or Noisey and more.

Its about goddamn time someone put out shows that make you actually think about shit instead of sitting on your couch zoned out on Xanax playing Flappy Candy Bird Crunch 12 or some other mind numbing crap.

Viceland is the glimmer of hope (which lets fucking face could be all we have) in the mass produced, cookie cutter ,reality, and competition bullshit. It serves nothing more than being blatant exploitation and IQ lowering trivial mundane mental fluff  in the TV Sea of Endless Vacant minds and vacant thoughts.

Thank fucking christ for Viceland, we need infinitely more like you.