Tag: Satan

FYB’s Salute To Eccentrics: Anton LaVey on The Joe Pyne Show

In this Installment of FYB’s Salute to Eccentrics We Feature The One and Only Anton Szandor LaVey was an American Author, Musician, Paranormal Researcher ,and Occultist. LaVey is most Notoriously Known as The Founder and the Original High Priest of The Church Of Satan and The Religion of LaVeyan Satanism (and Author of the Infamous Satanic Bible).

This is NOT a LaVey Biography or In-depth Look at the Church of Satan Those will be coming Later. We decided to Post This First.

This is a Rare  1967 Television Appearance LaVay did on The Joe Pyne Show so You could Hear DIRECTLY FROM THE SOURCE That of Course Being Non Other Than LAVEY HIMSELF.

           

The Host Is Joe Pyne Who reminds Us an Earlier Prototype of Morton Downey Jr. who Pioneered  the “Trash TV” (Just Ask Jerry Springer) Format with His Talk Show The Morton Downey Jr. Show. Downey was known for Berating His Quests with a Verbal Assault of Insults, Derogatory Remarks, Extreme and Controversial Personal Opinion, and Personal Jabs. Downey would Yell and Scream at His gets (sometimes inches from the Quests face) while He Stormed around the Set like Maniac and Chain Smoked like His Life Depended on it.

Joe Pyne Employs many of these Talk Show Host Tactics in an attempt to intentional Anger Their Guest into Acting up/Out in Hope Their Wild Antics Boost Ratings. Pyne is Nothing if Not Antagonistic from the Very Start of the Interview attempting to Bait LaVey in Vain. Pyne called LaVay a “Nut” and a “DingBat”, Attacks Lavays Appearance from His Shaved Head and “Shifty” Eyes, Clothes, Necklace, and even Finger Nails). Pyne also Mocks LaVey by saying corny shit like “I’d tell You where to go, But I think You’d Like it, and Insulting LaVeys With and Children by referring to Them as “Ms. Devil/ Mrs. Beelzebub”  and “The Little Devils”.

           

LaVey for His Part is the Exact Opposite and Remains Cool, Calm and Collective while Ignoring Pyne’s Various Antics and Personal Attacks. LaVay conveys His point and Answers Questions Intelligently and to the Point. LaVey definitely Proved to Be the Bigger Man.

In a Rather Interesting (and Bizarre) Note The Host Joe Pyne Died a few Months after this Interview.

Hope You Enjoyed This Historical Segment of the Ongoing Story of Satan as Much as We did.

 Presented By Les Sober

What The Hell Am I Watching

Unlike the ‘Questions That Allude Answers’ there are some Videos that are so fucking Fringe that You find Yourself wondering What The Hell You’re Watching. Are these Videos Art Projects? Bizzaro Promotions? The Product of a Seriously Insane Person? Are They mad by Underground or Secret Societies? Are They Part of some Government Agenda? Who the Hell Knows, BUT I find Them to be Wildly Entertaining as I find Not Knowing is The Appeal of such Videos.

Tonight We have “username:666” by Nana825763

and

“Save Them Jesus”  by Imaginedon

       

I would now like to take a Moment to Address the Topic of Satanism. There has NEVER been a Religion so Steeped in Myth, Persecution, Condemnation, and a Shit Ton of Misinformation. I’ve noticed a few things on the Subject of Satanism over the Years and will Address them Now.

First I find it Bizarrely Fascinating that People watch Horror Movies/TV Shows that are PURE FICTION, THEY’RE ABSOLUTELY AND TOTALLY FAKE, Yet when the Movie/Show is Over They walk away believing the Depictions of So Called Satanism is indeed Factual. This Boggles My mind since again Horror Movies/TV Shows are FICTIONAL works designed to SHOCK, SCARE, OR REPULSE You so why would anyone think any part of it is a Real Life Fact?!

       

I fully believe if You Truly want to know about Something then simply go to The Source that way You cut out all the Middle Man Bullshit, Lies, Conjecture, Speculation, and Misinformation on Said Subject. So I went out one Day and purchased Both The Satanic Bible and The Satanic Witch and read Both Books Cover to Cover. These are THE FACTS that I Personally Uncovered.

First off Satanism is Essentially Hedonism with Satan acting as Nothing more than a Mascot. Satanist believe if it makes You feel Good and DOESN’T HURT PERSON OR ANIMAL then Don’t Listen to Dogma just Indulge. If You like Food its Ok to be a Glutton or if its Sex then go ahead Bang Your Brains Out.

Secondly I found Out in the VERY BEGINNING of The Satanic Bible that Satanist REVERE Children and Animals because They haven’t been Corrupted by the Evils of The World, Humanity, or Society. It is Clearly Stated that Satanist DO NOT SACRIFICE BABIES, CHILDREN, OR ANIMALS. Human (Adult) Sacrifice is Frowned Upon and Discouraged.

Thirdly as for those Idiots and Assholes You see on the News from Time to Time Who claim to be or is Allegedly a “Devil/Satan Worshiper” are in fact NOT as They don’t Devoutly Follow The Religion. These are Mentally fucked Up People or Complete Sociopaths/Psychopaths who’s Homicidal Acts have NOTHING to do with Satanism, and everything to do with the Fact Killers Kill PERIOD Its what They do. Sometimes I think these Idiots and Assholes are playing the Satanist Card because They think They are Actual Satanists or are Just Saying it to look Scarier and more Intimidating in the Eyes of the Public. Also the Media is far to fucking gear to play the Satanist Card whenever a Murder/Murders have Extenuating Circumstances.

All the Reasons I have Listed above have Combined into one of the BIGGEST MIS-INFORMATIONAL SHIT STORMS IN HISTORY. Think For Yourself and Find Out for Yourself instead of believing any Old bullshit You hear someone Spewing since Most People in Reality (this is a Proven Sociological Fact) don’t actually know what They’re talking about. People like to Talk. People like to Gossip. People like to Talk shit. People like to Bullshit. So its best to Find out For Yourself from the Source itself as I said earlier.

       

WARNING!!! THE FOLLOWING VIDEOS CONTAIN CONTENT THAT SOME VIEWERS MAY FIND OFFENSIVE, OBJECTIONABLE, DISTURBING, OR UNSETTLING. VIEWER DIGRESSION IS AS ALWAYS ADVISED.

Hope You has Fun watching Tonights Disturbing Double Dose of  Madness Personified.

Thanks for Reading/Viewing,

 Presented By Les Sober

Homicidal History: The Louisiana Axeman

This is the ACTUAL LETTER from Serial Killer The Louisiana Axeman that was Published in Newspapers on March 13, 1919 with The Axeman’s Ultimatum for Murder. Enjoy.

The Axeman’s Letter:

Hell, March 13, 1919

Esteemed Mortal of New Orleans: The Axeman

They have never caught me and they never will. They have never seen me, for I am invisible, even as the ether that surrounds your earth. I am not a human being, but a spirit and a demon from the hottest hell. I am what you Orleanians and your foolish police call the Axeman.

When I see fit, I shall come and claim other victims. I alone know whom they shall be. I shall leave no clue except my bloody axe, besmeared with blood and brains of he whom I sent below to keep me company.

If you wish you may tell the police to be careful not to rile me. Of course, I am a reasonable spirit. I take no offense at the way they have conducted their investigations in the past. In fact, they have been so utterly stupid as to not only amuse me, but His Satanic majesty, Francis Josef, etc. But tell them too beware. Let them not try to discover what I am, for it were better that they were never born than to incur the wrath of the Axeman. I don’t think there is any need of such a warning, for I feel sure the police will always dodge me, as they have in the past. They are wise and know how to keep away from all harm.

       

Undoubtedly, you Orleanians think of me as a most horrible murderer, which I am, but I could be much worse if I wanted to. If I wished, I could pay a visit to your city every night. At will I could slay thousands of your best citizens (and the worst), for I am in close relationship with the Angel of Death.

Now, to be exact, at 12:15 (earthly time) on the next Tuesday night, I am going to passover New Orleans. In my infant mercy , I am going to make a little proposition to you people. Here it is:

I am very fond of jazz music, and I swear by all the devils in the other regions that every person shall be spared in whose home a jazz band is in full swing at the time I have just mentioned. If everyone has a jazz band going, well, then, so much the better for you people. One thing is Certain and that is that some of your people who do not jazz it out on that specific Tuesday night (if there be any) will get the axe.

Well, as I am cold and crave the warmth of my native Tartarus, and it is about time I leave your earthly home, I will cease my discourse. Hoping that thou wilt publish this, that it may go well with thee, I have been, am and will be the worst spirit that ever existed either in fact or realm of fancy.

–The Axeman

Thanks for Reading,

  Presented by Les Sober

Biblical Bewilderment: A Couple Questions for Christians.

I believe the Bible is a very good read, and recommend giving it a read.

I also DO NOT Believe that the Bible is in anyway a Religious Text.

I’m from the School of Thought that the Bible serves a Moral/Ethical Guide, a “How to Live a Good Life Manual” if you will. The Bible in My mind is an equivalent of  Esop’s Fables for Adults. Thats to say each story while entertaining has a distinct and definite Moral/Ethical Lesson contained within.

I consider Myself a Spiritual Person rather than Religious. Not that there is anything wrong per say with Religion itself its when Man gets involved, and creates ORGANIZED RELIGION.

Organized Religion is a Bastardized form of Religion in which Man takes precedent over His God. So when it comes to Religious Texts/Training/Teachings/Education/Interpretation Man Himself dictates Organized Religion in His understanding NOT THE WORD of a God.

That aside I remain open minded to the Possibility of Christianity, BUT I have some pertinent questions for Currently Practicing Christians of ANY DENOMINATION.

   

Let US Begin.

Why is there a 800 year old gap between the Writing of the actual Bible and when it was first complete?

Some blame the Dominate and Ruling Roman Empire for being so Anti-Christian that they banned any Christian Religions Texts or Teachings.

This drove Christianity underground for a time, and the Partitioners had to hide in the shadows using an oral tradition to keep the Bible/Bible Stories/Teachings alive in this period of oppression.

   

I’m not debating this Roman Empire Oppression, BUT Why didn’t some Partitioners just move out of the Roman Empire, and Practice Christianity in Peace and free from prosecution.

And also have you ever played The Telephone Game then you know how distorted and twisted a single sentence can become in a matter of just a couple of minutes. Now imagine an Telephone Game that spanned 800 fucking years. See what I’m saying?!

Question Two How can Jesus who was a JEW (The Jewish Faith has suffered the most oppression and persecution for practicing Their Religion, and Christianity played a HUGE PART) somehow end up becoming the Savior of a completely different Religion?

   

I mean for example Buddhism didn’t commandeer say Muhammed from the Muslim Religion to use Him as Their Prophet, Leader or Messiah.

Question 3 How come the first half or The Old Testament of the Bible t(he Primary Christian Religion ) was written by Jews?

I wouldn’t attempt to take the first half of a Religious Text, and then rewrite the second half modeled on My particular and different Religion.

Question Four was addressed in  The Kevin Smith’s movie Dogma. The question is once Jesus talked to the Angle Micheal, and was informed of Who He really is/ His purpose where did He disappear to for 30 years?

Jesus was approximately 8 years old when He learns His ultimate Fate, and then He vanishes for three fucking Decades only to return on the Bible as a full grown 38 year old man with NO EXPLANATION?

Question Five pertains to the Crucifixion or more over its Biblical Depiction. It is a fucking Scientific and Anatomically IMPOSSIBLE to Crucify a Person threw the Palms of the hand as show in countless Christian depictions of Jesus. Quite simply the weight of the Human body combined with Gravity would cause the Hands to tear in half.

      

Also Nailed person threw Their feet while they are placed one on top on the other is also completely impractical in the act of Crucifixion. More than likely the feet were secured by placing the victims feet on side of the Cross, and then nailed in place next to/around the ankle.

Question Six is of all the improbable Stories in the Bible We are supposed to believe Jesus DIED for 3 days only to Rise from the Dead as if to say “See They TOLD YOU I’m the Messiah!” before then ascending to Heaven?

Question Seven is how can Jesus be The Son of God while simultaneously being God as well. How do does a Father physically become His own Son? This is either a bad case of Schizophrenia or one of the most famous cases of Inbreeding ever recorded.

      

Question Eight is about the Christian Depiction of Jesus as a Pale White Man with or without a full beard, Blue Eyes, and long blonde hair? Its been Historically PROVEN if Jesus did in fact exist He would have been Mediterranean meaning He’d been a Person of Color with Brown Eyes and Black Hair.

And since We are on the subject of Christian’s version of Christ why when depicted on the Cross Jesus again personifies the epitome of what most people would consider quite attractive?

I mean He’s  got a 6 pack of Abs, Not an ounce of body fat, and is Ripped long and lean like a fucking Professional Swimmer?

   

Question Nine is about Religious Relations. Since as aforementioned Jesus was Jewish, AND the First Half of The Bible was written by The Jews how the fuck do Christians Historically to Condemn/Dislike/Disparage/Prosecute/Criticize/Dismiss The Jewish Religion/The Jews?

Without Judaism Christians wouldn’t have Jesus as Their Messiah, and Only Half of a Bible? If anything it looks like to me that the Christians should be thanking the Jews for all the fucking Help by providing some founding of fundamentals of The Christian Faith.

   

Last Question is Number Ten. How is it The Jews according to Christians were the sole reason for They Crucification and Subsequent Murder of Their Messiah (aka Jesus)? Last time I checked it was THE ROMANS who condemned Jesus to Death by Crucifixion.

Now true The Romans had some assistance locating Jesus thanks to JESUS’S DESCIPLE JUDAS?

   

There is a Theory Juda’s last name which in the Bible is Iscariot is more than likely a corruption of the Latin Sicarius (defined as  “Murderer” or “Assassin” which seems very fucking convenient considering the Story. Now Sicarius were a Jewish Group who were the most Radical and Fanatical Sect of Judaism.

This to Me seems WAY TO FUCKING CONVENIENT, and its as of now Judas’s last name debate is UTTERLY UNFOUND and is NOT an indisputable fact by Theologians. So Judas’s possible Last Name or a Variant is just a Hypothesis or in Lay Man its just a GUESS OR SOMEONE’S PERSONAL BELIEF.  

Thanks for Reading    By Les Sober

1,001 Words of Insanity

The Maggots dance in the Rancid, Rotting Flesh of a Damned Nation showered in Shit. Fuck Monkeys run amok fucking each other to STD ridden DEATH! Anger blazing into rage as I fuck the world silly with a rubber spoon, FUCK YOU BUDDY, FUUUUUUUUCK YOU BUDDY!

Eating hot shit sandwiches in Hell as Satan sucks Donnie’s tiny dick in a lake of fucking fire, towering fucking flames engulfing THE CITY OF FECES! Look up for no god shall be looking back just your own fucking demise. PLUNGED IN THE PIT ETERNAL ABYSS OF FILTH AND LIES!

The animals devour each other in fine dining restaurants, pleasantly popping pill after pill until their are Pharmaceutically FUCKED, BIG PHARMA IS NOW YOUR PIMP YOU PAIN KILLING PILL POPPERS!!

Commanding all Rapists to Rape their fellow Rapists to DEATH AND BEYOND! There is no power of man, of woman, of Human ITS A BULLSHIT COATED LIE! Pay me or Die, Pay Me or Suffer, Pay Me OR FUCK YOU.

 

Decapitate Hate watch the ruling Elite assholes dragged through the dirty streets being beaten mercilessly by the Enraged Citizens until they reach the GLORIOUS GORE of the GUILLOTINE. Hail the Queen of Hearts for OFF WITH THEIR SHIT FILLED HEADS! Lets the kids kick them for fun.

Frolicing in the BLOOD of Traitors, kicking the Corpses of the Corrupt King and his crooked court of conniving criminal cunts.

Fuck all the ignorance, fuck the unjust laws, your rules are broken as your fucking souls, the leaders failed to lead and thus shall decay in the shit filled swamp. FUCK AUTHORITY, FUCK THEM ALL!

Dirty Bastards battling Sons of Bitches for the vile victory over the brow beaten patriots, TREASON EQUALS DEATH its the ONLY JUSTICE for TRAITORS! Eat the Elite, Cannibalize their Capitalism, DEVOUR THE RICH ALIVE! Burn the mansions, sink the Yatchs, Reclaim their lands, remove them from their blood money, and watch them die before you begging for forgiveness while they gave NONE.

Horny Hypocrites consuming scandalous sex molesting each others children while drunk on shitty champagne and burn crosses on the lawn, THEY ALL DESERVE DEATH and its all they should be GIVEN.

6 feet under for their sin, let them suffer, let them squirm in anguish, their misery delights me, I smile wider the more of the corrupt get killed. Place their severed heads on Pikes and HOLD THEM HIGH!

Money molests the minds of man and excites their malicious malevolence, Capitalism is a death sentence FUCK LIFE WE ALL DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! I can’t witness this monstrosity of monstrous madmen, I GAUGE OUT MY EYES ITS PROVIDES RELIEF I can no longer see the Tragedy of Terror, the shit show of hanious horror, the demise of mankind is in itself BLIND!

Ignorant asholes wax poetic about shit they know nothing about the pompous pricks, the wannabe intellectuals hails the  PRETENTIOUS HIPSTER HOLOCAUSTS!! Trendy twats coveting their tech addiction and bullshit beards. Your Mustache ISN’T ART ITS JUST HAIR THAT GROWS ON YOUR UPPER LIP ASSFUCK.

Computers are pieces of overpriced, over used SHIT, ISO is the endless Anti-Christ, Amazon Ate America, Fuck Zuckerberg the millennial Motherfucker, Vacant minded Silicon Vally Vixens whoring Apps inlet of ass, Computers are flawed as the people who use or create the fucking vile stack of hot fucking shitcakes.

Your diploma is a SCAM, a piece of paper that is ultimately just that A LOWLY PEICE OF PAPER. Your no better or smarter than anyone you just paid for the info and that doesn’t make you smarter than others it makes YOU A FUCKING MORON who spent 4 years doling out fistfuls of cash for a diploma and NO FUCKING JOBS when you graduate.

        

Music IS SHIT, FILM IS FUCKED, ART IS DEAD. Books are Bastardized digitally. LEAVE ME CUNTS, LEAVE ME ALONE TO DETEST YOU, MOCK YOU, SHIT ON YOU. I HATE YOUR EXISTENCE.

Save the World by Killing Yourself, Mankind are glorified fucking parasites, eating, fucking and shitting our way through existence. Humans are MORONS masquerading as Educated assclowns.  WE DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW A GODDAMN THING DO WE, DO WE?!!!

Its all a “educated” guess, calculated risk, smoke and mirrors in a piece of shit Pony Show. There is no Fate, fate fucked us all. Destiny is a Dumbass. The Universe is a giant cosmic Vagina that birthed the bastard Mankind to destroy it all.

Power is nothing, control is an outdated concept, DO YOUR FUCKING JOB, is that too much too ask for fucking fuck’s sake. Your just another sack of fucking flesh filled with various organs and a nervous system SO FUCKING WHAT, WHATS SO FUCK SPLENDID ABOUT THAT EXACTLY?

Oh what fucking fun it is no to be a goddamn Jelly -fucking -Fish theres an scientific biological accomplishment WHAT A LOAD OF HORSESHIT. FUCK THE END, I EMBRACE THE NEW OF BEGINNING!

Time is a TOOL used to deprive Humans of their fucking LIVES, make money to pay bullshit bills and tyrannical taxes, they monetize your life to CONTROL YOU, MONEY YA CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT, and they designed it that fucking way, FOR THEIR LUXURIOUS LEISURE dancing on the broken backs of a Society of SHIT, FUCK RESISTANCE! CHAMPION REVOLUTION!

Its broken so BURN IT and BUILD ANEW! The unknown is NOT to be FEARED for change can save this sinking shit ship. OUT WITH THE OLD ASSHOLE WAYS! Welcome in THE NEW WAY.

Scrape the Shit System, Destruction of all Institutions, Kill the Courts, Punish the piece of shit Politicians, CRUCIFY THEM ON HE FRONT LAWN watch their putrid carcasses picked clean by Blasphemous Buzzards and Vulgar Vultures circling above.

        

The Old Way leads only to damnation no salvation in DEATH. Evolution will elevate humanity up from the steaming pile of scummy shit that We ARE FUCKING DROWNING IN as the uneducated cocksuckers wallow in their own filth satisfied to stay fucked because if its not affecting them then FUCK IT THEY SAY and FUCK THEM I SAY.

Thanks for Enduring,

 By Les  Sober 

Textonics : Another Peak Behind The Curtin of Absurdity

Yes you guessed it here is another text conversation between SpaceDog and Yours Truly discussing doing a joint post using a technique known as “Bible Dipping” (want to know wtf that is then wait for the post or just Goggle the fuck out of it.

Without Further Adu TEXTONICS!

SpaceDog: Yeah kind of funny how the hospital is like the top place to catch shit. They should have a separate entrance for sick people at the hospital and clean them up in one of those chambers like they do in the movies. True True. Do you possess one or both bibles? I think i have a new testament around here somewhere but generally speaking that shit is way too cheerful.

Les: Fuck yeah a decontamination shower. I actually have a few versions of the bible ironically. Thats because people (even me believe that shit or not) get weirded out by ditching a bible even if they donate it to like fucking Good Will or some shit like that. I have a biblical text thats a whole bible dedicated to Revelations. Really grim shit. We should definitely use it for the Devil’s end of the Q&A.

SpaceDog: Speaking of Satan, they brought back sabrina the teenage witch and she’s satanic now. lol. Oh yeah thats like grizzly new T. i was thinking of psalms they are all cheery i read them like 20 times when i was in jail.

Les: Holy Shit I saw that shit on Netflix’s New Line Up and thought of the old original show, BUT I had no fucking idea that Sabrina had gone Satanic. I mean Sabrina was on fucking Nickelodeon for fucks sake. So how do you go from a Kids Network to Being Sabrina and Satan she being all down with the Devil. PSALMS READ IN JAIL! Fucking Fabulous. Just read your latest posts and I have to say they are rather Awesome. Very cool indeed.

SpaceDog: Haha thanks i have to finish part 2 later tonight before i forget what the hell i was talking about.

Les: Hear you there. I have a few  backlogged posts but had to have surgery number fucking 2 for this year so I was sore as shit and whacked out on a combo of Pot and Percocet. Come to think of it I wish I could have written then because that shit would be far fucking out.

SpaceDog: Damn what surgery u have? It Help?

Les: One of My asshole Doctors wanted an insurance policy since I have a bum ticker. So 2 weeks ago I had a Out Patient Procedure done at this Hospital thats Great accept I fucking despise it like taxes. I hope the surgery helps since the procedure was done in case as my Doctor put it “You try and Die on Us again.” So my shoulder was all jacked the fuck up felt like a tried to tackle an 18 wheeler. Lmfao.

SpaceDog: Well thats good my grandfather had that shit done and was right for as long as i can remember so like 30 years maybe? I tried to have surgery but my Doctor talked me out of it. Have something going on with my neck/shoulder area. I forget what the hell she called it.

Les: Damn a Doctor who doesn’t recommend surgery??? Now thats fucking Crazy as Shit.

SpaceDog: She said the scar would be worse. Idk will reevaluate after i drop weight and find myself staring at myself in the mirrors and not avoiding them like the plague.

Les: Reevaluating is always a good fucking idea, I mean thats what second opinions are made of. I need to drop weight myself. Doing good but then there was the Italy deal and then the Surgical Procedure. I need to get the fuck going again and all that happy horse shit.

SpaceDog: The guy currently dating brittany spears dropped 100 lbs in 6 months by doing 2 hours at the gym every morning. Im not exactly sure what i would do there for 2 hours. Even if i stretch out cardio and weight lifting i can only hit 80-90 minutes. What bout the other 30? Free Handjobs? Fake tanning bed? Arguing with the desk staff about something completely irrelevant? The arguing one is always fun especially when you intend to make zero sense.

Les: Brittany Spears is still relevant?! Yeah a 2 hour block in a fucking gym is a stretch but thats why they have personal fucking trainers I suppose. Arguing nonsense is AWESOME and a GREAT past time/ hobby too. Dunno about the extra 30 minutes time killer-filler but you got some good ideas. There a gym in the next town 8 miles down the road. Its a prefab building that houses you basic gym equipment, no contracts, no pressure, no trendy juice bar, no mirrored walls, no TVs, and no staff at all. Fucking Love It. They give you a key once you track down the owner and then you can go anytime you want as much as you want. You just let yourself in whenever ya wanna hump iron.

SpaceDog: Sounds like the old gym i belonged to. It was 24 hrs had a key card, i think the staff left at 6 pm something crazy early. Had to drop that shit because they decided that when they left they would shut off the air conditioning off also. Urge Fitness i guess as in i have to urge to murder these assholes. Owner must be some road head likes to cuss people out in their yelp reviews which is why i review shit anonymously. Cuz i only review some nasty shit. Lol. Like your fucks. I agree sarah Sanders deserves 2 separate fucks. Also i have 3 to add: Fuck Steve Harvey. FUCK BIXBY. FUCK CORTANA. ( those are the rip roaring shitting alexis/siri clones on samsung and windows respectively. Bit/Cortana compared to alexis/siri is like sleazy hollow vs the ritz carlton. Im going to bed i think i will survive one more day without finishing blog. Here’s something to keep u busy. U have to enter for the Mama Mia socks i did lmfao.

Les: They cut the AC thats some real bullshit there the douche bags. Urge is for Assholes LMFBO! Roid Rage the Struggle is REAL. Steroids shrink your balls and gives you bitch tits. I can add the additional fucks tomorrow just gotta edit them in there. Double Fuck(ed). Come to think I may just use your fucks to start off a Part 2. LMFAOMFRS!

***Thats all for this time around kiddies.***

Thanks for Reading

,   Les Sober and SpaceDog 

Text Poetry No One Should Read Pt. 2 SpaceDog’s Reply

Quick Reminder to the Reader THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST OFFENSIVE POSTS YET, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

 

For those who skip intro’s I met up with SpaceDog during a recent Road Trip. On the way I decided to insult a person We both mutually Hate and Mock Mercilessly. I sent him an impromptu Poem about said Asshole, and SpaceDog wrote his own Poem in Response. It may be pertinent to note I did date this Fuckass for several months. This Poem is about surviving the ghastly grips of a grimy gutter dwelling Girl.

This is SpaceDog’s Poetic Reply:

Title: Saved From The Snatch of Satan

There was a hole that many knew,

As time went on its reputation grew,

Most men that entered turned gay anew.

And the one’s that didn’t they wound up dead,

Tragic overdoses, shot in the head.

But one man lives to tell the tale, No cocks in his mouth,

Heart beating strong as a Whale.

Despite the dead placentas on his dick,

He turned around his life like a magic trick.

Most know him well yet don’t speak his name,

Only time will tell who is to blame.

Just know well when your pregnancy tests comes up B,

Abort it fast…coat hanger 1,2,3.

Right now this tale is almost over,

The Living Legend Les Sober.

By The One and Only,

SpaceDog 

God & Satan Enemies Of A Different Color

Preface: Most people know the story of God casting Satan from Heaven because Satan wanted to take control of Heaven.

  1. It all started when God got bored and created people to entertain him (the original reality t.v.) which pissed off more than a few Angels due to their jealousy of God’s infatuation with his new creations.
  2. Satan was not only an Angel he was the Angel of Light effectively he was God’s right hand man. Satan gathered a group of like minded angels bound together by their hate of humanity and God’s preferential treatment of people. Once Satan had assembled his crew they picked a fight with God by trash talking Humans, a fight that Satan lost.
  3. God banished Satan (along with his traitorous posse) from heaven.
  4.  BUT GOD DID NOT BANISH SATAN TO HELL. God decided if Satan hated man more than anything then Satan’s punishment was to walk among man for eternity.
  5. From this point out God and Satan were deemed to be immortal enemies clashing in a constant war of conflict as each tries to win more souls than the other.

The Question: Now I have read the Bible and I like most have a few questions. The first and foremost I question the relationship between God and Satan as far as the traditional belief. As I stated earlier in #5 God and Satan are supposed to be the ultimate foes, yet in the Bible there seems to be a good bit of dialogue between God and Satan. This alone strikes me as odd considering their intense and eternal war of good versus evil after Satan got his ass evicted from his Heavenly home.

The best example in my mind of God and Satan’s rather unorthodox relationship lies in the story of Job. Here is a brief run down summation of the story of Job as told by me (Less Sober).

One day God and Satan (post battle for Heaven) were hanging out together which seems to me like a mighty oxymoron. Why would God and Satan hangout together if their such intense enemies that they actually went to war against one another?

While God and Satan are lallygagging about God starts to brag a good bit about his follower Job and how much Job loves God with undying loyalty. Satan decides to bust God’s balls a bit about this oh so holy and devoted Job guy. Satan makes a side comment to God that its totally obvious the only reason Job gives a shit about God is because Job has a sweet life. Job had a big house, a lot of land, a wife, tons of kids and a productive farm, BUT if Job didn’t have all the perks then he’d abandon God flat out.

Now this conversation seems to follow suit with the relationship described in the Bible between the two Deities, God says something positive and Satan then undermines it with negativity. HOLD ON MY FRIENDS This Is Where It Gets Really Weird.

God decides based on what Satan said to make a bet. YES IT WAS GOD who made the bet WITH SATAN. In some versions of this story some of the faithful claim Satan proposed the bet to God, but sadly no it was all God’s idea.

The bet is this: God allows open hunting season on Job enabling Satan to do whatever horribly wicked shit he could think of to torment Job. If Job remains loyal to God in spite of all the suffering Satan rains down upon him God wins, but if Job succumbs to Satan’s vile endeavorers then simply Satan wins.

Satan then proceeds to run shop on Job. Satan kills all of Jobs crops, kills all of his animals, all of Job’s servants, burns his house down, and kills all of Job’s sons and daughters while they ate together. Job remains standing God.

Round Two Satan struck Job with sores from head to toe. Here Job’s wife does something strange she tells Job to CURSE God and then die. Its the dying part that confuses me because why would she want her husband dead considering Satan killed the rest of the family at this point. Anyway I digress. Job for his credit did not curse God nor did he die, but he did at one point wonder why his God was allowing all this foul shit to happen to him, and at one point even asks God to let him die (assumedly to avoid further torture). Job through it all sticks by God and remains faithful by not sinning in cursing God.

God immediately declares himself the victor to Satan, and then shoots down to Earth to tell Job to shut up and stop asking questions for God works in mysterious ways.

In Summation allow me to state my opinion on the story/subject matter at hand. This is how I see it in all honesty. It appears to me that instead of being eternal enemies God and the Satan had a more personal relationship (as opposed to one ruling Heaven and the other Hell completely independent of one another). To me its more like two best friends who started a business together and the business started to flourish making all involved very happy. Then one friend makes an executive decision about staffing without consulting his friend and partner first. This leads to resentment, tension, stress and anxiety plaguing the friendship driving the two friends apart. Finally one of the friends has had enough and attempts a hostile takeover of the company only to fail, and thus the partnership dissolves spectacularly along with the friendship over an argument on how the company should be run. As the years pass the two friends begin to reconnect yet both are still pissed about their falling out as each blames the other for their failed friendship. Though God and Satan don’t ever reconcile they form a new love-hate relationship because though they had a shitty falling out their friendship out weighs the one vicious fight over difference of opinion.

 

 

Hijinks At Hellfest

Editor’s Note: For this piece I’m going to break protocol and I HAVE NOT changed any of the names, but you don’t have to believe me these names and places can be Googled. Now I return you to your regularly scheduled program.

The Key Players:

Mr. Glen Benton: The Vocalist/Bassist and infamous front man of the  Death Metal band called Deicide (who are considered one of the founding fathers of Death Metal). Deicide’s frequent practice of dunking their faces in a bucket of Sheep’s blood before taking the stage in the early days of Deicide’s career quickly earned them a reputation, and with their extremely brutal form of Satan Loving, Bible Hating Death Metal (littered with violent occult imagery) soon made them a Death Metal Fan Favorite. Deicide’s infamy  has only grown over the years as front man Glen Benton burned an inverted cross into his forehead, placed a 9 foot inverted cross in his front yard, and Benton occasionally dousing the audience with animals internal organs (Benton has also eluded to, but NEVER confirmed rumors of animal sacrifices), but its safe to assume they were bought from a local meat market butcher or a grocery meat department. Bottom line here I suppose is Deicide is down with the Devil, know for having gruesome live performances, and being extremely Anti Christian.

Hellfest: There are in fact numerous Hellfests held around the globe yearly be they for Heavy Metal or Hardcore Punk the point being many Extreme  Music Genres use the unlicensed name Hellfest for various different shows. . The Hellfest that I am talking about is the highest attended concert that is put on annually (June 16-17-18th) in Brittany, France featuring top Scandinavian, European Black, and Death Metal acts. Such acts have included Cradle of Filth, Mayhem, Bloodbath, Cannibal Corpse, Lamb of God, Venom, Obituary, Enthroned ,and Life of Agony over the years just to name a few.

The Controversy Begins: Back in 1995 Deicide released their new album titled Once Upon The Cross and promptly launched a tour in support of it. That year Hellfest contacted Deicide and Invited them to play, but for undisclosed reasons Hellfest then contacted Deicide again two weeks later and this time officially Uninvited them. This more than enraged Glen Benton to absolutely no end. Benton announced to the press (he believed) that Deicide had been shit canned because Black Metal Bands heralding from Scandinavia through Europe hate American Death Metal with a burning passion. Benton went on to proclaim the reason (again he believes) Black Metal Bands have such a vile disgust, rabid contempt and distain towards Death Metal was due to the fact they felt America took their musical style ,and shit all over it transforming it into an second rate, dumbed down inferior version. 

The Unofficial Reality and Reason: After Hellfest announced that they had indeed added Deicide to Hellfest 1996 local Decide fans went on celebratory vandalism rampage  by scrawling Deicide’s song title “When Satan Rules His World” on tombstones in surrounding cemeteries. This was never offered as any sort of official (or unofficial reason) for Hellfest’s cancellation of Deicides performance. Though it seems painfully obvious to see  this was in all reality the real reason. You can’t rightfully blame the promoters of Hellfest that year I mean if tombstone vandalizing started by just the initial announcement of Deicides participation, but just imagine what they must have thought would happen when the actual band showed up to play.