Tag: Self reflection

FIGHTING FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN

FIGHTING FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN 

There are times in everyone’s life where they do not try hard enough or persist or do what is right in their heart.

They simply follow the crowd. They ignore the causes that are near and dear to their hearts. They ignore their friends because well that person may not be as liked or as popular as they so wish them to be.

However there is one constant with all of these things. You see people come and people go. When you take away all those people and all the material rubbish you are surrounded with, all you are left with is you. Nothing more, nothing less. And no matter who you are or how flawed you may be or what masks you wear to the world, well you know what it is that you believe.

       

“Reputation is for time; character is for eternity.” -J.B Gough

It just really saddens me to see how we as a people don’t fight constantly enough. For our world’s belief (belief as a whole), for our friend’s beliefs, for our core beliefs. What a sham(e).

Belief on the Whole

When the whole of something deteroriates all we are left we is parts that are somewhat combined and somewhat fragment.

Thankfully most of us voted in this election. The majority spoke when it came to the presidency. However one of the things that makes me most proud is that despite the unfortunate ruling in California people are peacefully protesting Prop 8. They are not bombing abortion clinics or looting stores, they just want to be heard.

       

Keith Olbermann. Whether you agree with him or not this man has a lot of passion and the kind of fight that more of us need. We all need to express and not repress and listen to each other. Well I let him say the rest:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVUecPhQPqY

Frankly for his belief and his expressions well that helps the world on the whole. If not helping the current vote or current situation it maybe helps move people in the future. It’s not about shifting the view of one or two or three, it’s about a shift in the generations to come. If generations didn’t progress forth from their predecessors well then we wouldn’t have had a black president now, would we?

       

Belief of Friends

Obviously none of us believes everything another individual says. Friend or foe, husband or ex-boyfriend, wife or mistress we all have disagreements and similarities. The thing that we must remember is that WE chose to have this people as our friends. We are not forced. This is not an arranged marriage (sorry for those of you that it is).

Once upon a time, one of my really great friends in life had a great mutual respect for me and I for him. Yes, he was overprivledged and yes he was over the top a good deal of the time but I believed in him as a person, as a friend. I stood up for him many a time. I will admit on occasion this wasn’t the “popular” move. I even lost touch with a few acquaintance type friends because of this. Still I believed in his inner goodness.

Not everyone sees this good in other people. Everyone has good in them. People usually only put emphasis on the bad. It’s a sad fault but that is life. I saw the good and it caused me to perish in ways but sadly not everyone in life can accept your choices and not everyone can be your friend.

       

“If it harm none, do as ye will.”

Also in the same aspect if we agree with our friends and they get persecuted for it we need to stand up as well. And vice versa.

If they don’t believe in going home with someone from the bar, I need to tell that other person to back off when they get too agressive and my friend can’t do it himself.

If they didn’t do drugs and I was I wouldn’t glorify it and push it down their throats.

It’s all about respecting one another and standing up for what you ascertain to be true.

Yes, we are not perfect. I am guility of not fighting at times when I should have but am getting much better at this through the years. Yeah my depression gets in the way at times, but if I ever had to be there for my one of my true friends I would. My situation, financially, emotionally or spiritually, would not effect this. I have done some pretty stupid things to try and protect the people I love but I would do them all over again.

     

Belief of Our Core

Perhaps the most important set of beliefs that we have are the ones that lie at our core. When the day is done and the lights are out at night, all you have is you. You are the only person whose own beliefs you can control. You must stand up for them at all costs.

Call them morals, call them creeds, call them principals, call them what you will. They are all uniquely ours. Some people live by more beliefs on a consistent basis and others fly by the seat of their pants. Without these beliefs, there is but a shell of a person, a body without a soul, a face without a name.

As I stated before we are not perfect. I believe in love, but that does not mean I haven’t ever had sex with a stranger. I believe in respecting others, but I’ve definitely been an asshole my fair share of times. I am not going to list all my beliefs one by one since I know what they are and hold them close to me and they affect the way I lead my daily life.

       

People can be very devious creatures. They find out you believe in love; they try and pull you around by a string. They find out you are generous; they blatently take advantage of this. They find out you are honest; they lie their teeth off. Opposites do attract and at times this can be tumultuous.

In a room crowded full of people acting completely fake to one another, would you be fake as well?

“Many a man’s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street. ” -Elbert Hubbard

How very true. You see what we portray to the world is not necessarily who we are. If people strived to make their two sides less in conflict perhaps we would all live in a world Mr.Hubbard would be more proud of today.

        

So truely ask yourself, are you fighting for what you believe in? Even if you are only fighting for the beliefs in your heart it is a start.  Inside each and every one of us within the deepest darkest core and tucked away through all the recessess of pain, misfortunate, and chaos is one thing that always burns. That one thing is love.

  By SpaceDog

Waiting by the phone

Everyone is happy. Happy awaiting the dawn of the new decade. And there I am half dead, half alive to the world. Mostly dead. The steady drum beat of hope has fallen by the wayside, taken somewhere by the wind or the incessant diner food calling my name when I just wanted to be left alone.

I slowly think of the joy and their faces, the new beginnings. Then i wake up on the train. I do not feel like I belong in this place, at this time, at this moment. Something feels off in the cosmic spectrum of things. Then flash forward……in the city. The city I love. The energy is more abundant then usual as the sleet ricochets off of my hoodie, down my face, into my core. I am right where I need to be.

As the streets become blurs and carbon copies of one another, I hear people talking but barely hear a sound. I see lights without cars and cars without drivers and people without souls. I feel all that is around me but then I…….nothing………nothing………..nothing

         

It’s just a long taxi ride. Blurring, dumbfounded, lax.

And off into the land of segmentation. Off into the great divide.

I find myself paying cover charges for drinks I will not have. Looking forth at the faces I will not be sucking. I wonder what exactly it is I am doing here. I am still wondering as I sit on this couch writing this blog. Everyone so horned up and me with my old yet new sense of decency.

It felt out of place. Like I should have been creating a stir or been getting escorted away or have been doing things in shower stalls. Shower stalls???? No mindflash backwards or is that forwards? Not sure. Nothing of want. Too drunk, too drunk, too drunk, too fat, too drunk, wow you’re a whore. All of these stretching for miles.

     

Time stood still. Exit stage right. Old grizzly bears. Exit stage left. Vast pools of dark chocolate surround me. Exit below ground, hoards of fake IDs. Exit stage me. Alone and cold and wondering where I was. Why am I here again???? Did I lose the memo?? Did they forget to carbon copy me on the last e-mail that was sent out????

I saw the ball drop on the TV. But when I saw you, the ball went up into my chest, up into the pits of my stomach. I would breathe and go back to normalcy. I wished I saw him, whoever it is that he might be.

And you stand off in your corner. You tell me to behave. You tell me to grow up. Then you breathe again and you tell me to stop being so old. To stop trying to race against time. I make a pit stop. You that tell me to change won’t even help me change my oil or wash my windows. I loathe. I mustn’t say too much. They are always watching.

    

I arrived home. If only I knew where I was at that time. If you only could have been sweeter, as sweet as the hottest apple pie that my grandmother would bake me on a warm spring day and heat even further on those cold spring nights.

It was all smiles. I wish they were real. But I captured their presence. I captured their meanings and their words and as if time stood still I was there again. With you. With the mercy that all can be well. And nothing is truly lost.

   By SpaceDog

Happiness is a Warm Gun

I see the colors changing.

I’m finally realizing that life is like a giant kaleidoscope with its plethora of color and its fading blur to brilliant clarity. In amongst all of the chaos is everyone we know, everyone we have known. For a reason or for a season the experiences wilth these particular people influence us a great deal.

I have finally removed the negative aspects from my life. Most of the time my brutal honesty gets me in trouble. I feel I have nothing to hide even though this tends to scare the vast majority of people off.          

Of course I will not share many of my dreams with a whole lot of people because friends, strangers, and most of humanity will try to bring us down. They will tell us that our goals are unattainable, that we will inevitably fail. The people that tell we will succeed,  we keep closer or we regard as friend or at the very least we regard them in a positive light.

You see, I firmly believe the reason people put us down is not simply to put us down. It is their morose attitude towards our dreams because their dreams have failed them for whatever reason. They feel too old and too tired to move on and their dreams become stagnant.

   

Yesterday, I was fascinated by something I heard by two different individuals. Both were in their 40s and one of them is definitely not lacking in personality. Yet the boredom confused me a great deal. Sure, I have been bored at various times in my life but mostly because I hated the whole world. I let the malaise, the hatred, the general feeling of frustration, you know name it and if it was negative I somehow let it effect me. Boredom never though. I have too much to discover and explore and do. I will not give up like the rest of them. I will not be the drone the world expects and the world expects so many drones. They want us all to be drones.

The paradigms are shifting. The world is turning upside down. I can feel the light from certain people and it envelopes me. It effects me so much just like the negative. I sometimes feel it through every bone in my body. And then I smile.

   

I had forgotten what a smile was.

But back to the kaleidoscope. I have been through enough frustration to throw the whole kaleidoscope down to the ground. I tried to break it but it would not break. I always felt the light, the presence of something else inside of me. A shred of love, a shred of color. No matter the situation, we all still have the color inside of us, the love inside.

And that is all for now. Hope everyone has a Splendid Day, and may your hearts not be heavy and your cup somewhat full (at the very least).

 By SpaceDog

System Recovery

If you had a button to press in your life where you could go back to any different point, where would you go???? Who would you be with??? Where would you be going???

I’ve thought about this one quite a bit because of a dream I had today. It was really devoid of almost all detail. It was me and 3 other people whose faces I could not see running through a field.

In the past, I would have thought that these 3 people were some of the men I’ve dated, had relationships with from my past. At other times I thought these were people from the future. But the more I think about it and realize it does not matter where they come from.
It is just a dream and the main thing behind it is the happiness, the feeling of carefree, not trying to analyze the who/what/where/whens of the situation.

I do not know where I would push this button because every person who has crossed my path, well if I thought of them they each would have their own button in my heart. The only people whose buttons would intercept would be 2 hot guys from a threesome or people whom I had only met at a concert or on vacation. The people closest to me and my soul and my being and my heart well…….

There would be no one place….there would be innumerate multiple places.

I mean sure for selfish reasons, I might choose to go back to a place where I had tons of money or I had naivety in love. These might not be satisfying to me now though because everything changes. I’m sure if I could go back to when I was 18 I probably would bitch slap myself and start screaming, “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU???!!!”. That actually might be fun as long as I didn’t scar the future me that is currently writing this schlep.

Honestly though this is probably a cop out but I would go back to one of my favorite concerts of all time (there have been several) and I would bring all of my closest friends throughout the years. And they would all get along. And run across the fields in bliss. It would be just like my dream. Only with audio.

 By SpaceDog