Tag: senior citizen groups

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (16/365)

Lee took a minute to regain His whereabouts, and absorb what the hell was happening. Thats when things escalated once again with the Arrival of none other than The Seniors For Sex Association the arch enemy of Grandparents Against Porn.  As soon as the first mini van pulled up, (and the first wave of Senior’s For Sex came piling out) the Grandparent Against Porn Members rallied together to form a Human Wall between The Porn Shop and Their newly arrived Nemesis’s.

Lee looked on with an absurd excitement as the Senior Citizen’s from both waring factions lined up like Medieval Armies awaiting the Signal to charge head long into Battle. The Psychotic Screams of Anti-Porn Propaganda had given way to a Sinister Silence as Both sides eyed one another up anxiously.

       

Then the standoff was over and all her broke out. There were Walkers waving wildly, Damaged Dentures Littered the Parking Lot, Prescription Pill Bottles flew threw the air like tiny Orange Pharmaceutical Birds, Canes Clashed, and Wheel Chairs collided.

Lee at this point wasn’t sure what the fuck to do. Should He try and break it up? No that be futile and there was no need to suffer another humiliating hit like with the Old Ladies armed with the Dildo. Should He run? No that just plain didn’t make sense. Lee had at least to remain put, and protect the shops interests (even though He thought it safe to assume at this point He was fired as fuck) until the Authorities arrived to Handle the Rioting Retirees. That and He’d be required to relay the lead up to the Parking Lot Porno Fight in a Police Report.

   

Just then the Boys in Blue can speeding down the street sirens screaming and lights ablaze. The Officers scrambled out of Their Patrol Cars, and immediately started to defuse the Feuding Fanatics. Now this proved to be extremely difficult for several reasons. Older People can be Stubborn and Uppity to begin with, and now They were PISSED.

Not to mention the Police couldn’t actually really Physically restrain the Seniors due to Their fragile Physical Nature as well as Medical Conditions (such as Blood Pressure or Heart Ailments) The Police also couldn’t use Mace or Tear Gas for the same reasons plus the backlash from the Public to the Officers Macing and Manhandling the Elderly would be Furious.

       

Thats when Lee saw His asshole of a Boss pull up and park His shitty 1976 Station Wagon with the fucking artificial wood paneling on the sides. His Boss who went by the Nickname Fran (how the hell Fran was a better option than by going by Francis or Franklin bewildered Lee to no end) heaved His large frame to His feet. He peered around at the absolute Anarchy that had become His Parking Lot before spotting Lee standing to the side by the Tree.

Stay Tuned Kiddies for Tomorrows Delightful Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (17/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (15/365)

Lee instinctively flipped over onto His Belly (still using the Inflatable Sex Doll as a Shield) figured His best course of action was too literally keep His head down, and army crawl His way to the Door. Luckily for Lee at His lower Level managed to blend into the insuring chaos as He suffered a serious series of pokes and jabs from the Merchandise that coated the floor like a freshly fallen snow.

After a very slow going Lee made it to the Door at last, and stood up before barging His way out to the perceived safety of the Parking Lot. Unfortunately for Lee the Porn Shop was under full blow fucking siege by the incensed Seniors. They were everywhere as far as Lee could see it was just one continuous Sea of Senior Citizens.

      

There was a large and boisterous Picket Line, as well as several People Preaching through Bullhorns from Milk Crate Pulpits. Lee could help but think that the Self Proclaimed Preacher present were all talking over one another so none of Their messages could actually be heard by anyone there.

Also the Senior’s inside had decided it was best to Purge the Porn Shop by not just plundering the Stores Merchandise, But where now actively throwing it into the Parking Lot as the Little Old Ladies outside cheered Them on with chants of “Salvation Over Sin!”, and “Pornography  is Blasphemy!”

        

This Lee thought was the biggest Irony of them all as Vandalizing and trashing the Porn Shop made perfect sense to Lee considering the situation. The thing Lee found so amusing was the Shop while being set back from the Highly Trafficked Route 22 the Parking Lot was completely visible to all the Motorists as well as Bicyclists, Joggers, Dog Walkers, and walking Locals.

So if the Senior Citizens Brigade of God Fearing Soldiers (here to restore Society’s Moral Compass from the Vile Scourges of Sexploitation) were here  to  Truthfully Protect Humanity then why the fuck would They subject the World to the Twisted Perversions They were so Heartily Fighting Against?

      

The point was The Sinful Sex Toys were now littering the ground for not just the Public to see, but since it was 3:00pm School was out. And with the combination of The Local Middle School being in the immediate area, and that the end of Route 22 (where the Shop was Located) turned from Commercial to Residential so there were also School Bus Stops near by. It was by far the Worst Strategy at the Wrong time and Place as an Anti-Porno Pro Christian Righteous Rally could have possibly occurred.

Lee got to His feet as fast as He could while bobbing and weaving through the enraged Mob to find some place anyplace where He could have a second to regroup. By the time Lee found shelter from the Porn Shop Shit Storm behind a tree (that was on the property line of the Porn Shop and the next Door Gas Station) He could hear the Police Sirens Screaming like Banshees in the back round.

        

Stay Tuned Kiddies for Tomorrow’s Insane Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (16/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober