Tag: shits and giggles

Tidbits for Shits and Giggles: Let Me Hear Your War Cry (Animation)

This Wonderful Little Bit of Absurd Insanity is a Doctored Clip from the the 1987 Vietnam War Movie Blockbuster Full Metal Jacket where the Actor’s Faces have been Replaced with Japanese Mannequin Faces. The Audio of Distorted Screams that Steadily Increase in Pitch is Equally Absurd and Equally Insane. Unfortunately Though there isn’t any Information Available about the Creator of this Audacious Art, and Thus We Can’t give Them the Credit They Damn Well Deserve.

Enjoy.

Thanks for Watching,

Presented By    Les Sober & FYB  

Tidbits For Shits and Giggles: I CAN’T HEAR MYSELF THINK

I never understood what exactly People meant when They said “I really Identified with that Movie/Play/TV Show Etc., and I would Automatically Dismiss The Comment. That was until I saw I CAN’T HEAR MYSELF THINK by Jake Lava, and then in a Moment of Clarity I fully Understood what People Meant on a Personal Level for the First Time.

When I was a Teenager I was rather Introverted due to Some Social Anxieties I have, and was always Referred to as Shy. This didn’t Stop Me from going to School Sporting Events, Dances, Parties, Concerts, or Group Gatherings since there was Next to Nothing to Due in My Shitty Hometown. So to Cope with these Less than Comfortable Situations I took the Cliche “If You Don’t have Anything Nice to Say Then Don’t Saying at All” and Ran with it like a Motherfucker.

              

At these Various Events I would hang back and Watch/Listen to everything going on Around Me, and I then would Mock, Insult, or Shit Talk what I observed or Heard in My Head to pass the Time. Unfortunately this Coping Mechanism had one Odd Side Effect which was I couldn’t help most times Laughing at the Absurdly Violent, Insulting, or Obscene Thoughts I was Having. I know some of You are like What the Fuck Laughter isn’t a fucking Side Effect because Side Effects Suck Like Explosive Diarrhea or Anal Leakage, but Laughing Who complains about that being a so called Side Effect?!

I was well aware that Some Guy standing in the Back Round or Isolating in a Corner Laughing His Ass Off would make Me look Psychotic to say the Least. I modified My Laugh so it was at the Lowest Audible Level so My Laugh was Deeply Guttural that wouldn’t Draw Too Much Attention. Imagine if a Growl fucked a Serious Belly Laugh and had a Kid that’s the Best way I can Describe it Honestly. The Only Issue was that Over Time People did begin to Notice that the Quiet Guy was Laughing to Himself, and it Sounded Very Sinister and most People found it Profoundly Unnerving.

               

Luckily for Me I had a Friend at the Time Named Al that would basically cover for My Bizarre Behavior. Obviously I wasn’t about to Explain the Insulting, Negative, and Obscene Thoughts I was having (about Them or the Situation) that I painted in Overtly Violent imagery on the Canvas of My Mind. Al would politely Interject His Token Explanation which was if Memory Serves Me “Don’t Mind Him He Thinks Something is Entertaining, But He’s Not About to Tell Us.” and This Seemed to Work Flawlessly.

So Sit Back and Enjoy I CAN’T HEAR MYSELF THINK by the Talented Jake Lava.

Thanks For Reading and Watching,

Presented By  Les Sober & FYB

Tid Bits For Shits and Giggles: ROBOT STRIPPER

Today’s Up and Coming Technology is bringing Science Fiction Fantasies to Life at an Incredible Rate. And let’s face it when it Comes to Robots the Rule of Thumb is if You Build a Robot and Someone will Try and have Sex with It. Since the Concept of Robots first crossed Scientist’s Minds there has always been a Symbiotic Sexual Component, and this is probably due to the Fact that more times than not Robots are Depicted in a Humanoid Form.  Even with the Field of Robotics in its Infancy there a Slew of Video Footage of Stripper Robots (aka Strip Bots) preforming short Strip Routines some even Utilizing a Stripper Pole (Though it seems Solely for Balance Reasons).

           

We selected this one for a few reasons the first is it’s the Most Human Looking Strip Bot We saw. Another reason was We noticed the Robots Creator/Builder opted to make the Robot Blonde because Blonde Robots must have More Fun Too. Also the Creator/Builder CHOSE to equip the Strip Bot with an Ample Set of Boobs, and Let’s face it Robots are Genderless so the Fact it is Female is the Creators/Builders Decision. Now by Far the Oddest Part about the Strip Bot is it appears to be wearing some sort of Medieval Goblin Mask which raises a couple of Questions. The First would be why the fuck would someone go to all the Trouble of making a Human looking as Possible Strip Bot only to Cover the Face with a Shitty Halloween Mask? Did the Creator/Builders simply Run out of Parts and grabbed whatever was Handy like say a Mask or is this a Eyes Wide Shut situation? Is there a Goblin Fetish that this particular Strip Bot is designed to cater to? We unfortunately will Never Know. Enjoy

Thanks for Watching,

Brought to You by Les Sober

Tid Bits for Shits and Giggles: TEDDY HAS AN OPERATION

Sometimes Things are Uncatagorically  Funny so We here at FYB decided instead of Letting these Little Bits fall by the Unappreciated  Roadside as it were, and instead Decided We’d give them Their Own Stage to Play Out Upon. This is Our Inaugural Installment of Tid Bits For Shits and Giggles featuring TEDDY NEEDS AN OPERATION by Steve O’Brien.

We stumbled over this Little Piece of Absurdity and While it doesn’t exactly fit into any of Our Predetermined Categories We simply couldn’t pass it by. Apparently American Dolls aren’t the Only Dolls that Also have Doctors (or more like Surgeon in this case. We watch as Teddy is Anesthetized with “Bear Gas” and Undergo’s a Rigorous Surgery where the Doctor checks Teddy’s Bon Bon Laye, Play Pouch, Crotch Unicorn, Kidney Crayons, Courage Sack, and Heart. Enjoy.

Thanks For Watching,

  Presented By Les Sober

Theres’s a Reason Monday’s have a Shitty Rep.

They say “Mondays are Mondays for a Reason”, and I’m pretty sure the Reason is that the People who Say that are Assholes. That aside what a hell of a Monday this one was and I’m not Joking. It all started When Our Cat ate Our Dog and I had to rush it to the Vet post haste. I hoped the Vet could give the Cat an injection of some Super Laxative allowing the Cat to shit out the Dog thus saving Both Their Lives. As I’m wheeling the Cat to the Car My since the Cat is Your average 8 pound House Cat, and the Dog was a Full Blooded Rottweiler thus creating a serious Spacial Issue for said Cat. The next thing I know My Sister blindsides Me out No Where with My Nephew in tow who looks like He’s had too much Sugar and not enough Sleep.

I agreed to what My Nephew but since My car was in the Shop I had to Borrow My Wife’s Miata which only seats 2. I tossed the Cat into the Passengers seat, grabbed My Nephew and Some Old School Bungie Cords (the kind they made so you could strap Excess Luggage to the Roof of Your Vehicle) without breaking stride. I then proceeded to Tie My Nephew to the Hood of the Car like Hunters do with Deer they’ve Killed with a quickness. My Nephew began to pitch a fucking fit so I simply told Him “You always wanted to go to Disney World so THUNDER MOUNTAIN UP BITCH!”, and with that We were off and running.

           

I called the Vet from the Car and asked if a Vet Tech could meet Me outside to assist Me and the Vet Office assured Me it be No Problem. So once I got to the Vet Clinic I slowed Down, leaned over and opened the Passenger Side Door, Yelled “TUCK AND ROLL MR. FRITZ!”, and shoved the Cat out of the Car. Luckily cats always land on their Feet so Mr. Fritz was fine. The next stop was My mechanic’s Shop to check on the Progress of My Car Repair. My Mechanic said He was waiting on a part so it might be another day or two, and  so I asked Him if in the meantime if he could do Me a favor and Rotate My Back Molars for Me. He promptly declined right there on the spot claiming He couldn’t because He wasn’t a Dentist to which I said I didn’t care as I’m not a Dentist Either so?! Before My Mechanic could counter My Point He spontaneously Combusted which I am convinced was not Spontaneous in the Least. I believe He “Spontaneously” Combusted because He damn well knew He was going to loose the Argument.

As I was leaving My Mechanic My Nephew still mad about being strapped to the Hood like a Dead Deer had Himself a good Old Tantrum, and turned Himself inside out. Obviously I can’t take Him anywhere in that condition, but the little Brat that He is down right Refused to turn Himself Outside In. I don’t negotiate with Terrorists or Children so I put Him in a Duffle Bag because lets face it if your inside out there is a High Risk of Potential Staining, and Blood/Bodily Fluids are a real motherfucker to get out.

           

While on My way to My car I ended up walking behind to very Stern Looking Men in Expensive Three Piece Suits, and I happened to overhear some of Their Conversation. The Two Men were lamenting How Louie’s Mother made the Best Sauce (Marinara) either of the had ever Tasted, but since Louie fucked up They had to kill Him and His Mother. The fact that They were sent to Kill Louie didn’t seem to bother them in the Least. It was the Inevitable Murder of the Mother who made such a Legendary Sauce that was what They felt was the True Tragedy at Hand.

Along the Way I also saw a Drunk Homeless Man Cannibalizing Himself like a Deranged Snake. Thats to say He was attempting to swallow Himself Whole and had managed to ingest Both Legs up to the Knee. I was absolutely fascinated by the Homeless Man bizarrely abnormal Behavior so I stopped to watch for a while. Half an Hour later He had swallowed Himself Half way and was struggling to get past His Waist, BUT if there is a will there is a way as they say. Eventually the Homeless Man made it all the way up to His Neck and then He asked Me to Pull his Lower lip over His head. Seeing no reason not to I assisted the Man with His Request. Once His lower Lip was fully engulfing His head the Homeless Man took a deep breath and swallowed Himself out of Existence. It was was like watching a Manual Implosion it was fucking Crazy.

            

My Phone rang and it was the Vet’s Office informing Me they had Successfully induced  Vomiting, and Mr Fritz had puked the Dog up and Out Safely. Both the Mr. Fritz and the Dog were exhausted by the whole ordeal and were currently asleep. I said that’s great to hear and that when They’re all good to go to call them a Uber for Me because I was too busy to double back to that side of town Now. Especially when My Nephew was still inside out and all.  I pulled up to a light and while waiting for it to change I little Old lady who looked to be in her 90’s started to cross the street.

The Person in front of Me at the light accidentally elbowed Their Horn while reaching around behind them in the backseat. The Little Old Lady who thought the Driver was being Rude or an Asshole stopped Dead in Her tracks and stared motionless at the Driver for a few Uneasy Moments. She then Loudly announced to the World “I don’t have to take THAT shit, when I can Take THIS shit!” and then jumped up on to the Hood of the Offending Driver’s Car. Once She was perched on the Hood She took a Clydesdale Sized Rage Shit. The Driver started to angrily get out of their Car when the Little Old Lady when the Little Old Lady blurted out “Your an Asshole and I’m the Shit!” It looked liken actual Shit Guesser erupted from Her withered Old Ass as She shit Herself into Space.

   

After seeing something as Appallingly both Revolting and Awe Inspiring event as a Little Old Lady Shitting Herself (well Sharting would be more like it) into the Deepest and Darkest Depths of Space I went directly Home. Once I arrived Home I slapped a shipping Label on the Duffle Bag containing My Inside Out Nephew that said “Please Return to Owner.” See the thing is I had taken the Duffle Bag out of the Lost and Found at the Airport when I was in a pinch. I figured since there was a Tag on it I would just return it directly to the Owner once I need for it was done. I then called an Uber to take the Duffle Bag to the Airport on My Behalf, and spent the remainder of the Day wondering where the Little Pain in My Ass would End Up.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober