Tag: shock and awe

Just When I Though I’d Seen It All…..

The Other Day Started just like another with Me Battling Dogs to reach My Phone to shut off the Alarm. The Issue is the Dog’s damn well Know that when the Alarm goes off I get Up, and They get to Go Outside which also apparently includes giving Them Each a Treat. Needless to Say after a Moderate Struggle I managed to Shut the Alarm off and Let the Dogs Out (Yeah it was Me so Suck On That), and then Immediately headed into the Kitchen to Whip up some Coffee or Go Juice as it is Referred to Around these Parts.

To say I’m NOT a Morning Person is the Understatement of the fucking Millennium and I wish I was Joking. The Rule is NO ONE is to talk to Me for a Full Hour after I get Up because While I look Awake and with it I am More or Less running on Autopilot. Unfortunately for Me a Man born without a Patient Bone in His Entire fucking Body Our Heavily used Keurig Shit the Bed quite a While Ago so My Wife started Using a French Press. So taking Several Technological Steps backwards I put the Kettle on the Stove, and Turned the Knob to Ignite the Flame since We use Natural Gas for Cooking (and to Heat Our Tankless Hot Water Heater). The Pilot Light was Crackling Away like a fucking Downed Power Line, but Alas there was No Flame to Speak Of. Annoyed by this Inconvenience I started Turning the Other Knobs in an Attempt to get One out the Four to Ignite and Agin My Efforts were Thwarted.

                    

My Anger Kicked in like a fucking Jet Engine Revving Up as the Idea of My Precious Coffee being Delayed even if for only a Few Minutes Enraged Me to No End. It was then that it Occurred to Me that I literally could Not Remember the Last Time I called the GAs Company to Refill Our Tank. Needless to Say I was Now under the Unacceptable assumption that We had fucked up by Not Monitoring the Level of Gas in he Tank , and Thus We must have simply Run Out of Gas. This would be a Royal Pain in the Ass Trust Me. The Gas Company is called Edisto and They are Nothing Short of a Bad Joke. In all Honesty it is BY FAR the Most Half Assed Operation I have Ever Witnessed and I’ve seen Plenty during the Course of My Life. A Quick Example of Edisto’s Ineptitude Ironically was When We Scheduled a Refill for Our Tank and When the Day Arrived the Edisto Employee Didn’t. The Good Old No Call No Show Routine. I called Edisto and Explained what happened and They Apologized and Said They’d Send someone out Right Away. Again No One Came without Any Notice Whatsoever. I called Edisto a Third fucking time, and the Third Time was the Charm as They Say, and at Last I got a Refill.

I ventured out onto the Front Porch and for Some Reason I still Don’t rightfully Understand Instead of going Left to Exit the Porch. You see I’d have to Walk from the Porch around to the side of the House where the Gas Tank is, Yet instead I cut Right because You can See (but Not Access) the Gas Tank from there. I leaned over the Railing and Turned My Head towards the Gas Tank I wasn’t at all Prepared for what I saw Next. The Gas Tank was Gone. The Four Cement Blocks it Sat On where still there along with the Disconnected Gas Line but the Gas Tank Itself had for all Intents and Purposes Up and fucking Disappeared.

                    

It was in that Brief Moment I learned what the Saying “Does Not Compute” actually meant as My Brain was so Scrambled by Confusion I initially had No fucking Clue what to do or what I should do next. It’s was total Mindfucking Clusterfuck as My Eyes relayed to the Brain the Gas Tank was in Fact No Longer where it Should Be, and My Brain just Couldn’t grasp the Concept. In all Favor something like a Gas Tank (which is  6 Feet Long, Standing 4 Feet High, and made of Steel) is something You would Never even Consider a Possibility. It would be like walking Out of Your House in the Morning to Find Your 2 Car Garage Missing, or Perhaps Your Driveway suddenly Vanished without a Trace.

As I scanned the Yard still in a complete State of Shock and Awe I noticed there were a Distinct set of Truck Tire Tracks running across My Front Lawn. They Truck Tracks ran From the Middle of My Driveway across My Front Lawn and Ended by where the Gas Tank had Previously been for the last Four fucking Years. Undoubtedly I did experience a Moment of Panic mixed with Extreme Anxiety where I though the Gas Tank had been Stolen. I was Equally aware that the Idea that Someone Stole it made Abosolutely No fucking Sense Whatsoever. Beside being Big, Bulky, and Heavy as Hell the Metal that the Gas Tank is Constructed with has Zero Scrap Value like say Copper Wiring/Pipes. It was as Mr. Spock Would Say “Illogical”. Even though the Whole thing Defied Logic it was abundantly Clear that the ONLY Culprit could be the Edisto. Why the fuck They took My Gas Tank without Notice or Warning still baffled Me. I thought it was Safe to assumed it must have to do with Money even though We hadn’t bought Gas Forever so How could We owe Them a Goddamn Dime?!

                       

Out of Sheer Bewilderment I called My Mother. I figured that having spent a Majority of Her Life Living in a Small Town in the South might have some Information on the Subject at Hand. When I spoke with Her She had No Clue Either What Possibly could be Going On and Said I should Call the Police. There was No Way in Hell I was going to (at least at this point or perhaps as a LAST Resort) call the Cops to Report My Gas Tank had Gone Missing. Calling the Police before Contacting the Gas Company seemed Foolish. I then Texted a Picture of the Vacant Area where the Gas Tank had been, and a brief Synopsis as to what had Occurred to My Wife who was at Work at the Time since it was Mid Morning. She Texted Me Back that Granted the Situation was Bizarre and that We Needed to call The Gas Company. Then being the Angel that She is asked if I wanted Her to call Them, and since I still felt Half Asleep, Denied My Glorious Cup of Coffee, and Befuddled Beyond Belief said Yes. I can say with One Hundred Percent Honesty that if I had called the Call would have broken down into a Serious Shit Show because in My Current State of Mind My Anger would Undoubtedly Rear its Ugly Head.

It only took about Ten Minutes Before My Wife Called Me with the Missing Pieces of the Missing Gas Tank Puzzle. It turned Out that it Never Occurred to Us that We didn’t Actually Own the Gas Tank even though it was There When We Bought the fucking House. Apparently the Gas Company Owns it and Charges Us a Five Dollar a Month Rental Fee which We were also Utterly Ignorant of. According to the Gas Company We hadn’t need a Refill since and I kid You Not Early 2019, BUT We hadn’t Paid the Rental Fee and They came and Repossessed Their Equipment. First of All We were Never informed of this Rental Charge (Neither was My Mother which Blew My Mind that Even She wasn’t Aware), but that Makes Sense considering the Gas Company is a Prime Example of How NOT to Run a fucking Business. I also riffled through the Past Years Bills, and Low and Behold there wasn’t a Single fucking Bill from the Gas Company pertaining to an Over Due Rental Fee Situation.

                    

In the End My Wife Paid Off Our Bill in Full, and by some Odd Twist of Fate somehow was Talked into Buying a Hundred and Fifty Gallons of Natural Gas. I’ve never been a Science Whiz so I’m not even Sure How the fuck You Measure a Gas in Gallons Since the Gallon is a Unit of Measurement Used for Measuring Liquids. Also if We use so Little Natural Gas that We went Damn Near Two Years on a Full Tank means with a Hundred a Fifty Gallons of Natural Gas We have More Then We could Ever fucking Use for the Rest of Our Lives. The Amazingly Strange thing to Me is in Spite of a True Comedy of Errors the Gas Company still some how Managed to make a Sale. I also thought to Myself that if the Gas Company Guy had Knocked on the Door I could have Paid Him right Then and There and all of the Bullshit wouldn’t have been Necessary. Needless to Say the Gas Company wasted its Own Time, Gasoline, and Man Hours having Their Employee take the Tank without trying to collect Payment First Firsthand. All I know is I wasn’t the Only Person Pissed Off about How this Scenario was Handled because when the Gas Company Guy Returned to Return and Hook up the Tank He looked Madder than a Motherfucker. He really Should have Tried Knocking on the Door.

Thanks For Reading,

   By Les Sober  

The Unexplained Mystery of the Crying Man Radio Transmission

On June 11th 2020 a Tok Tok User Named Aiden (aka cidlid) was parked near a Church in Elka Park near Hunter Mountain located in New York State. Aiden was sitting in Their Car doing a Livestream when Suddenly something Sinister started to Happen. A Strange and Disturbing Transmission started to Playing on Their Car Radio for No Apparent Reason.  The Transmission starts with some assorted Noises that Aiden states sounds like Footsteps (possibly Running) and “Tape” Noise like when You start to Peel off a Length of Duct Tape. Aiden also comments that the Acoustics of the Transmission made it sound as if the Man was in a Bathroom due to the Specific Type of Echo heard in the Transmission. The Odd Noises was followed by Four Minutes of a Man Sobbing, Crying, Moaning, Groaning, Sniffling, Whimpering, Panting, and Breathing Heavily before Transitioning into a Creepy Distorted Audio of some Surreal Song Starts to Play. The Song Ends and the Transmission Ends as Mysteriously as it Started.

                   

Aiden didn’t have a Clue what the fuck was Going on and was Visibly Shaken by the Unknown Occurrence. Aiden wonders aloud if the Man is in Actual Distress and Needs Emergency/Professional Help, but Who would They Call for Assistance in a  Situation as Bizarre as this?  Several Days Later Aiden Posts the Second Additional Part of the Original Video of the Crying Man recored on the Same Day. The Audio Quality in the Second part of the Video is Far Superior to that of the First Video being Louder and Much Clearer so You can Hear Every Nuance of the Transmission. The Unexplained Transmission was Broadcast on the Radio Station 89.9 WKCR FM in New York. This begs the Question was this a simple case of Someone Hijacking WKCR’s Radio frequency?

                    

Lets fucking Face it thanks to New Technology for Listening to Music such as Spotify, Pandora, Satellite Radio, Internet Based Radio, iTunes, and all the Other Music Listening Alternatives equates to Radio being a Dying Medium, and as such is Widely Disregarded by the Public. The Reality is Radio Relies on Advertising Dollars for its Revenue, and thus the Exodus of Advertisers to Alternative Music Listening Platforms is the Last Nail in Radio’s Coffin. Also with the Advancement of Technology Anyone Nowadays can Sit on Down and Watch a Tutorial on How to Hijack a Radio Station. Not Only That but an Average Joe can also Purchase the Exact Equipment for Cheap You’d Need as well. Thus All anyone has to do is Buy the Equipment, Watch a Tutorial or Two, and Wallah You’re ready to Hijack a Radio Station. It is Important to note that HIJACKING A RADIO STATION IS EXTREMELY ILLEGAL and if Caught You Will Be Charged with a FEDERAL CRIME BY THE FCC (Federal Communication Commission) SO DO NOT HIJACK RADIO STATIONS!!

A Little While Later Aiden Posts another Video to Tik Tok explaining How They actually contacted WKCR pertaining to the Seriously Weird Broadcast. WKCR 89.9 FM belongs to Colombia University Located in New York City Several Hours Away from where Aiden heard the Ominous Broadcast. WKCR replied that They had Nothing being Broadcast in/around the Area Aiden was at the Time of the Incident, and that They were in No Way Responsible for the Eerie Crying Man Transmission. In a Nut Shell Aiden at the Time of the Occurrence was Out of WKCR’s Broadcast Range. A Staff Member at WKCR named Jeremiah Wrote Aiden Stating: “Elka Park is Not NYC. Our Signal is Most Likely Intermittent up there. Those Recordings are Not being Broadcast from Our Radio Station- This is Someone in the Vicinity of the Elka Park Area.” What this Means is the Crying Man Broadcast was being Transmitted by Someone Running a Pirate Radio Station (a Pirate Radio Station is a Radio Station that Broadcasts without a Valid License which makes it Subsequently Illegal according to the FCC Guidelines) somewhere in the Elka Park Vicinity.

                      

It didn’t take Long for People on the Internet to Start Hypothesizing about Who or What the Mysterious Crying Man Broadcast was all About. The First Hypothesis was the Broadcast was an Audio Recording from a Dark Web Red Room Broadcast, and is of a Real Person being Tortured for the Amusement of the Viewing Audience. The Second was it was just Some fucked up Person’s Sick and Twisted Prank. Both of these Hypothesis can Not be Confirmed because of a Almost Total Lack of Clues as well as Any Pertinent Information.

Then Speculations Began that the Crying Man Broadcast was the Audio from the Notorious Alleged Dark Web Video Titled “Blank Room Soup”. Blank Room Soup Video has been around 15 years and is Still Complete Mystery to this Day that Features a Man Sobbing while Eating what is Assumed to be Soup. He is sitting in a Blank White Room being Comforted by Two Individuals Dressed in Ray Ray Costumes. If You’re confused or want to know more about Blank Room Soup check Out Our Piece on it in the Dark Wb Video Category (We Promise You won’t be Sorry). Now Outside of some Minor Vocal Inflections it becomes apparent Quite Quickly that the Two Audio Recordings in Question Are Not the Same.

After some time the Song at the End of the Crying Man Broadcast was Identified as the Song “Taxonomies” by Larry Gus of His Album Years Not Living. this Led Many People to wonder if the Album Title had was some sort of Clue to the Meaning or Purpose of the Crying Man Broadcast, Unfortunately No Connection between the Two has ever been Identified. Other People thought the Crying Man Broadcast might be Part of an ARG (Alternate Reality Game), But that Hypothesis is Unlikely since there is No Awkward Amateur Acting, Puzzles, Unusual Images, Insane Imagery, Cryptic Codes, or Any of the Usual Fare You find with ARGs. The Crying Man Incident appears to be a Freak One Time Occurrence that just so happened to be Caught on Camera by a Tok Tok User totally by Accident. To Date NO ONE other than Aiden has come Forward as an Actual Witness if You will to the Mysterious Broadcast.

So the Last Prominent Question is Did Aiden Stage the Whole fucking thing? The Septics would use this Explanation to Discredit and Dismiss the Entire Incident, Yet I really Don’t think that’s the Case. From watching Aiden’s Content on Tik Tok They come of as a Normal User, and by that I mean He isn’t a Social Media “Try Hard”.  Aiden comes off as Your Usual Casual Tok Tok User Who isn’t looking to Become the Next Social Media Star, Influencer, or to have the Next Viral Video. You can spot Try Hards by the almost Desperate Look on Their Faces and How Hard Their Trying to Force some kind of Social Media Success. Well That’s just My Opinion.

            

One of the Curious Things that Aiden mentions in One of Their Tik Tok Videos is a Cult that’s Active in the Elka Park Area. The Cult is an International Community known as Bruderhof and Started in Germany. Since its Inception Bruderhof has Established Small Communities around the Globe Such as New York State, Pennsylvania, New South Wales (Australia), Thuringia (Germany), Asuncion (Paraguay), and London (England). The Bruderhof Members live a Lifestyle Similar to The Amish where Everyone is Equal, No One Gets Paid for the Work They Do, There is No Acknowledgement for Hard Work or Job Well Done, Everyone works for the Benefit of the Community and its Members. Yeah it’s Basically Communism. Aside from Their Deviant Lifestyle the Members of Bruderhof seem for All Intents and Purposes to be Harmless and a Threat To No One.

It then came to Light that WKCR 89.9 FM had suffered an Incident that occurred approximately Twenty Five Years Ago. At the Time WKCR was in Fact Hijacked and the Culprits were Never Found. The Hijackers Played a Disturbing Transmission consisting of Unusual Fuzzy Music that turns into Ear Irritating High Pitch Electronic Sounding Screeching. Next the Screeching Ends a Robotic Voice comes on Reading a List of Names and Various Other information. When You examine What the Voice is Saying is it’s an Obituary List of People Who Have Died (and Surviving Relatives) or Supposedly Will Die. In Spite of the Existing Audio the Hijackers Broadcast there is No Actual Proof that this Hijacking Ever Took Place. There were Zero News Reports, Articles, or Documented Evidence of Any Kind. This hasn’t Stopped Some People from Investigating the Possible Connection between the Two Incidents. As of Now No Connection has been Made. On a Side Note I have a Vague Recollection that FYB did a Post on the Alleged Hijacking Incident but I’m not Positive. If You’re Curious Please Check Out Our Dark Web or Strange and Disturbing Video Section to Find Out for Yourself.

Then Eleven Months Ago there was what Most Consider to be a Big Break in the Crying Man Radio Broadcast Mystery. A Person that Goes by rayn3.schzo1d drew Peoples Attention to a Independent Greek Movie which at the End of Larry Gus’s song “Taxonomies” the Exact Song at the End of the Crying Man Broadcast. At the End of the Movie Suntan the Main Character Breaks down in Tears before “Taxonomies” Plays at the Start of the Credits. Unlike Black Room Soup this Audio is Undeniably Identical including the Footsteps/Running and Tape Sound Aiden Mentioned. Also Coincidentally the Last Scene of Suntan is Four Minutes Long the Exact Same Broadcast Time as The Crying Man Broadcast. Now it’s worth Mentioning that the Main Character in Suntan breaks Down into Tears After Failing to Sexually Assault Someone. Ironically at the End of the Movie the Main Character Drugs and Kidnaps a Woman, but Can’t Assault Her, and The Main Character Tends to Her Wounds while Nursing Her back to Health. While Suntan Doesn’t Fall into the Torture Porn Arena it is Still an Insanely Dark and Disturbing Movie. This Led Many to Speculate that Someone Used a Radio Transmitter that provided Them Access to Any FM Radio Station, and would Allow Them to Play Whatever the fuck They Wanted to.

                      

In the End the Question of Who was Behind the Crying Man Broadcast, and Why would They Opt to Use the Ending Scene of a Hard to Find Independent Greek Film or They could have Broadcast it in its Entirety. If Whoever is Responsible for  Broadcasting the Entire Movie Suntan (which is only Available in Greek) I personally Wonder could it have Something to Do with the Bruderhof Cult? What I Saying is  They are Known to Operate in the Specific Area of Elka Park, and are an International Community with Members from Around the Globe. So Could have some Cult Member Decided to Broadcast the Movie Suntan in its Entirety as a Way to Entertain the Other Bruderhof Cult Members? Could this Simply be a Case of Someone Combating Boredom within Their Community? Alas in the End We more than likely will Never Know the Who or Why behind the Crying Man Broadcast. Anyone Nowadays can Learn How to (and Buy the Equipment Needed to)Hijack a Radio Station, and it’s Even Easier to Run a Pirate Radio Station. This means that Any fucking Local Elka Park Resident could have been Behind the Mysterious Crying Man Broadcast.

Thanks For Reading,

By Les Sober

College Writing Class and The GG Allin Incident

It was the First Day of My Creative Writing Class My Freshman Year of College and the Professor Passed out one of those “Getting to Know You” Work Sheets. I understand the Point, but I have to wonder How Many Teachers/Professors Actually give a shit enough to Read Them. Since this was a Creative Writing Class this particular Questionnaire had all the Stereotypical Questions One might Expect for a Writing Class. All the Questions were Absolutely Cliche like “Why do You Like Writing?”, “Why Did You Choose to take this Class?, and “Who’s Your Favorite Writer?

                  

I was slowly and quite begrudgingly filling out the Questionnaire while thinking to myself what a fucking waste of Time it was, and then I noticed the Last Question. It stood out since it had Nothing to do with Creative Writing whatsoever. The Question was simply “What’s Your Favorite Song?” followed by the Instruction to Add the Musician or Band Who preformed the Song as Well. I couldn’t for the fucking Life of Me figure Out Why this Particular Question was on the Sheet since it seemed really quite Random. All I could come up with in the End was I assumed We were going to Study Lyrics as a Form of Creative writing which it is if You stop and Think about it. You know what They say about Assuming right it makes an Ass out of You and Me and its 100% True as I learned Once Again.

               

I have to Admit that Up until this Point whenever I was Asked to Fill Out one of these First Day Forms I pulled My Punches. Now before Anyone gets all uppity and Points Out that I frequently say that I DO NOT Pull My Punches I did have a Somewhat Valid Reason. Since I have Extreme Interests (be it Movies, Art, or Music for Example)  I was Always Concerned that if I answered Honestly that it would inevitably come back to Haunt Me. What I mean I didn’t want the Teacher to Read My Answers and think to Themselves “This Kid could be Problematic”or “I better Keep an Eye on That One He could be Trouble.”, or “Judging by these answers the Kid must be a Serious Slacker.” or Anything Remotely Negative.  Ironically I didn’t want Them to Assume Shit about Me especially Based on some Stupid First Day of Class Questionnaire.

                  

This Time though I decided that this wasn’t bullshit High School anymore this was fucking College, and for the First Time I’d answer the Questionnaire Honestly without Sugar Coating Shit. At that Point in My Life I was really into GG Allin (and I still am), and My Favorite Song by Him was “Bite It You Scum!” which is an Extremely Defiant Anti- Authority Anthem if there Ever was One. I figured it wouldn’t amount to shit anyway since I believed that at Best the Teacher/Professor skinned them quickly and then put them in some fucking Drawer where They wouldn’t see the Light of Day. Feeling Righteous as Humanly Possible I wrote My Answer, and that was that or so I thought.

               

As it Turned Out this Professor did in Fact Read the Answers written by Her Students, But that’s just the Beginning as I found out. Unbeknownst to the Class She not only Read the Answers She tracked Down Each Song, and before Class Once Everyone was Present and before Class actually Started She’d Play One. Now She would never disclose Who’s Favorite Song it was that was being Played that Day and I certainly Appreciated the Anonymity of it all. I also figured that once She read the Song Titled She’d decide to Skip Me altogether and Who Could Blame Her. GG Allin is Not what You’d call Family Friendly as its filled with Obscenities, Vulgarities, Delt with Sex and Drug Use, Anti-Authority, and a Healthy Dose of Violence. If by some chance of Divine Intervention She had decided to Hunt Down a Copy of the Song as Soon as She Heard it She’d throw My Questionnaire immediately into the fucking Garbage (Again I couldn’t Blame Her for thinking the Song was Highly Inappropriate). I took solace in the Fact that at least I answered Honestly and Bottomline was that’s all that Mattered to Me.

                    

The Class Progressed from there Uneventfully We came to Class, Listen to a Song, Had Class, and Went Home to do whatever Assignment We had been given. We Studied Diligently for Tests, did Our Best on Pop Quizzes, and Labored Endless Hours on Our Mandatory Presentations (The Presentations were 10-12 minutes Long and Chronicled the Life and Work of an Author of Our Choice). Then We hit the Halfway Point and We were faced with the Dreaded Midterms. The Midterms were a Serious Game Changer as the Professor would see How well We were handling the Class. I mean You can Bullshit Your way Through a Test/Quiz You may Not have properly prepared for if You have to, But the Midterms were No fucking Joke. I did My part and Studied My ass Off for the Midterm and it was a Thankless Grind of Author’s Names and Works, Subject of Multiple Books, and Pertinent Dates/Events in the Author’s Lives along with more Personal Biographical Information.

                    

Finally the Day of the Midterm was Here it was Now or fucking Never. I got to Class early since being Late for a Midterm was Frowned Upon and would get You into some Pretty Deep Shit with the Professor. I sat at My Desk and tried like hell to Calm My Racing Mind and Quell My Fears of Failing for what seemed like a fucking Lifetime and Then it Happened. I was in My Pre Midterm Meditation when all of a Sudden to My Great Surprise I heard the Opening Chords of GG Allin’s Song “Bite It You Scum” and Almost Fell on the fucking Floor Out of fucking Shock. I couldn’t believe the Professor had Found the Song, Listened to It, and then Deemed it Alright to Play before Class. I was also Impressed that She had managed to Locate a Earlier Recording before GG’s Voice was Destroyed By Booze, Drugs, and Non Stop Screaming/Yelling (in the Last Years of His Life GG sounded like He had just Gargled Broken Glass before Singing).

                    

I am just as Amazed Today as I was Then by these Series of Events, and have a Great Deal of Admiration and Respect for My Creative Writing Professor. To Her Credit at the End the Song being an Earlier Recording Ended in a Haze of Distorted Guitar while GG Ad-libbed with a Bunch of Profanity Laden Babble. The End line of this Rendition GG Blurts Out “You Fucking Pig! You Fucking Whore!” at which Point the Professor Quipped “Oh My” and Shut the Song Off. Again I couldn’t Blame Her and I was just Impressed She played it Period. As a Result of these Events I will Never Forget My College Freshman Creative Writing Class until the Day I Die.

Thanks For Reading,

By Les Sober   

Lee Jonitis:Professional People Watcher (57/365)

Lee diverted His gaze towards the Front of the Bus were a Small Old Man who looked sickly thin almost skeletal. It reminded Lee of a Late Stage Alcoholic who has given up food to Ingest just Alcohol like His deceased Uncle Wilber. The Man was so thin His clothes though the Right size when the Man was Healthier now hung on His Feeble Frame like a Child trying on His Father’s Suit. The Oldman’s long mostly white and greasy hair was slicked back, and along with His scraggly beard both seemed only to exaggerate His Disheveled Appearance. The Old man Shuffled Heel-Toe past the Driver and sat down in the Seat directly behind the Driver.

As soon as the Old Man sat down He slumped forward so far Lee thought He might tumble head first onto the Bus Floor at the slightest bump or jiggle. The next thing Lee knew the Old Man started to Vomit though since He apparently hadn’t eaten in a Long While He was puking up a Vile combination of Bile, Stomach Acid, Cheap Booze, and an excessive amount of Saliva. The Man just continued to periodically vomit over and over again until His Lap was a Pool of Putrid Smelling Puke. The Vomit that had Pooled in the Old MAn’s Lap began to soak into His pants and the Over flow started to creep down the Man’s Trouser Leg like a Waterfall in Slow Motion. The Smell permitted the Bus from end to End as Passengers fumbled frantically to Open as Many of the Bus window’s as Possible. All the while the Driver acted absolutely Oblivious to the Human Vomit Fountain sitting behind Him only Inches away. Lee felt his gag reflex about to go Full Tilt on Him and He at last looked away from the Old Man and His Veracious Public Vomiting Episode.

           

“HEY! HEY! HEY!,” whispered Dizzy like an Excited Child, “Look over there the Bus Bunny is making Her Move. I fucking told you, I fucking so told You So!”

Lee shot a quick glance in the Direction of the Bus Bunny who had remained standing in the aisle next to the Tweeked Out Businessman idol chatting away. Now She moved so she was now standing in Front of the Businessman  as if She was simply passing by Him to the reach Window Seat. Then in the blink of an Eye the Bus Bunny transformed momentarily into some sort of Sex Ninja. In an Instant the Bus Bunny had Her Panties off and in Her purse, Mini Skirt Hiked Up, and was bouncing up and down on the Businessman’s Meth induced Boner all in one Foul Swoop. Lee’s turned His attention to the second set of Bus Door at the Back of the Bus as it pulled up to a Stop.

A Small group of perhaps 7-8 Very Stern looking Asian Men boarded the Bus, and moved immediately to the Back of the Bus occupying the Last several rows. As Lee looked on The Group of rather Grim looking Asian Men pulled out Large Rolls of Money, started counting out Different Amounts, and Handing them Back and Forth. The Eldest Member of the Group reached into a Bag had slung over His right Shoulder to retrieve a Bottle of Saki and what appeared to be Several Saki Cups. The Elderly Man placed the Bottle on the Floor of the Bus while he handed out the Saki Cups one by one to each member of the Group.

           

“What in the name of all things Strange is that all about?” asked Lee hoping Dizzy would have some sort of Insight into the Subject, and luckily Lee wasn’t Disappointed.

“Oh yeah that,” said Dizzy casually, “They’re coming from a Beta Fish Fight down in China Town.”

“What in the hell is a Beta Fish Fight?” Lee wondered aloud disregarding His surroundings.

“Well You know how We have Dog Fighting here in America Right? Well in Asia especially Thailand and Vietnam the Locals host Beta Fish Fights where People can Gamble on the Outcome,” replied Dizzy completely at ease, “Beta Fish are Cool looking, BUT they are Aggressive as a Motherfucker thats why in the Pet Stores they are Housed Solely by Themselves. If you put a Beta Fish in Your Tank they will not stop until they have killed every other fish in the Tank including Other Beta’s. Thats why Beta Fish Fights found a Home in Overseas Gambling.”

           

“Alright thats insanely nitrating, but that doesn’t explain the Slightly sweet smell wafting off of the Entire Group? Mind you its not a bad Smell just one I’m not Familiar with is all.” said Lee with a good deal of conviction.

“Opium. What Your smelling is Opium.” answered Dizzy without pause.

“They smoke Opium at Beta Fish Fights to?!” asked Lee in disbelief at what Dizzy had just told Him.

“No, No They don’t smoke it Nowadays, BUT all the basements and backrooms where the Beta Fish Fights are held used to be Opium Dens back in the Day,” Dizzy said with a Scholarly Air, “You see just like with Cigar Smoke Opium smoke lingered in the Rooms and slowly but surely permitted into the Wood Furniture, Wood Accents all that kind of Shit. Apparently they smoked so much fucking Opium that the Smell is not just noticeable at the Fish Fights but it can stick to the Attendees clothing and hair as well.”

            

Stay Tuned for the Next Pulse Racing Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (58/365)

Thank for Reading,

  By Les Sober

The Hippy and The Hillbillies

My father was born,grew up in, lived and worked in two major Northern cities before he met my mother at his job. My mother was working in the second city ,BUT she was from a very small southern town where she was born and raised before seeking employment in the Northern city.

As you may imagine though they lived in the Northern city they made frequent yearly trips to visit my mothers side of the family down south. Now my father noticed in the first few years of their marriage that when he wanted to go into town my grandfather automatically would send one of my mom’s relatives to accompany him. In all due favor it was the mid seventies the deep south. At this time my father had a full on beard, prominent jew fro, wore aviator sun classes and sported a military type  jacket . Well finally my father got rather fed up with the whole baby sitter situation and asked my Grandfather strait out why he couldn’t go into town alone.

My Grandfather in brutal honesty told him the reason he wouldn’t allow my father to go by himself into town. My Grandfather said it was because until the towns people knew who he was, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY that he was married to my mom and my Grandfather’s son-in-law it simply wasn’t safe.