The Wonderful World Of CANCER CHRIST

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring Los Angeles based DIY Reptilian Themed Grindcore Infused Hardcore Punk Metal Band CANCER CHRIST. As with Virtually Unknown Obscure/Niche Bands collecting information is a Bitch beyond Belief Believe You Me. The Mastermind and Frontman for CANCER CHRIST is the Notoriously Manic Anthony Mehlaff , and is Based on or Around His Rather Twisted Interpretation of Religion, Society, Jesus, and Satan Himself. The Band’s Musicians all adorn Snake Masks  and go by the General Moniker “The Snakeboys” although each Band Member has His own Specific Name (Example: Apocalypse Snake). That is it as far as the Standard Band info is Concerned as 99% of information pertaining to the Band are Interviews Mainly with Mehlaff and the Band’s Official Website.

Photo: Raz Azraai

Cancer Christ’s Origin Story According To Melhaff:

“Cancer Christ has seen the ailing not too distant future of this godless world. Our bleak existence needs a new, stronger word of God. Cancer Christ is the imperfect vessel to wage a holy war against those who wish to profit from a dying prophet’s words. Cancer Christ understands evil must be fought with true words and even truer actions; fire must be met with fire, darkness must be met with searing and powerful holy light. The Lords work takes some heavy lifting at times and major balancing skill. I was at Church—as I do every Sunday—and I began to get really fucking bored—as I do every Sunday at Church—and I began to snoop. I was looking for snacks or some of those good latex nun porn mags when I heard a faint shriek from deep inside the bellow of the church.

I followed the sound until I ended up in the basement. It was dank, dark, and hotter than hell. The shrieks were almost unbeatable. My heart was beating like a drum. I moved toward the sound. Flipped my phone light on and was shocked when I saw this creature: human body, snake head—he looked scared. He was also chained by his neck to the floor. As I moved closer, I noticed another Snakeboy, and another, and another. I think they were as scared of me as I was of them. I searched around the church, found a sledgehammer, and broke them free. We fled out the back door and after many months of rehab and prayers. I was able to start to understand the Snakeboys, they were as loving as they were vicious with sexual appetites like teenage boys. They ate all day, smelled foul, loved heavy metal, and ’80s horror and action violence. I had to channel their endless need to fight, fuck, and kill. It turned out they all played music.”

 

Mehlaff on The Subject of the Band Starting Their Own Church/Religion:

“We intent to open The Holy Church of Cancer Christ in 2023 and break ground in 2022. Follow the smoke and sure enough there will be the almighty fire of God and Cancer Christ along with The Serpents of Jesus. The Snakeboys will surely be there. Praise his mercy, praise his brutal power, and praise this soon to be over—great and tragic existence! The Church is driven by the word of God. We are excited for this world to end and for the new one to begin. Endless blood, rivers, oceans, even of the blood of the non-believers. Especially the false prophets and prosperity preachers. Watching them melt as we ride with JESUS is gonna be hard for me not to be hard.

What they forget is the love and that Jesus died for your sins. That shits paid for in full with blood. So, go out and fucking sin or what did the dude fucking get tortured for? I’m talking with God about this shit all the time and honestly, he’s always changing his mind. This idea that all sins are created equal is bullshit too. And no pedophiles, serial killers, cops, rapists. racists, bigots, or murders in the name of country get in. His rules, not mine. The Kingdom of heaven doesn’t need that bullshit vibe.”

Photo: Chad KelcoMelhoff On the Subject Of The Band’s Name:
“We addressed a problem, a cancer, mankind and provided an answer to that cancer, Christ. God wants this world to be inhabitable again when he figures out a solution to its major flaws and mankind’s major flaws. People confuse fire being that it’s made by the devil, God makes fire, that’s where he stuck that bitch Lucifer after he dropped his evil ass out of heaven and Lucifer tried a name change to help his own ego—Satan.

What a bitch name if ya ask me. Satan works in fire but works with rot. He has been trying to rot the world from the inside out with corporations, big lobby firms, politicians, judges, cops, bigots, racists, and homophobes.

The rot, the cancer was happening underground and has finally reared its ugly, weak, face and has gotten completely out of control. The solution? GOD’s light. God’s fire. God’s wrath. It’s then, his faithful soldiers will help re-create this world anew.”

Photo: Aaron Story

 

The Band’s Inclusive Message:

“The mission of Cancer Christ is to find lost souls to take up arms in this new and uncertain heavenly body. We accept all: black, white, gay, straight, trans and all others that wish to fight evil wherever it spews its putrid and vile wickedness.”

Photo: Cameron Acosta

Melhaff’s Motto:

“I stand for all the would-be scum that never considered Jesus an option,” says the musician, adding, “For the millions of demon worshippers that think Satan is tough or sick or down. I stand to let all those bitches know that God bitch slapped Lucifer out of heaven and only then did that punk-bitch become Satan. God fucks the hardest and he’s ready to fuck the world, whether you believe or not.”

Jesu

 

Caner Christ’s Mission Statement:

“Christ is dying. A venomous cancer consumes his body and weakens his mind. As each day passes, his light dims to a faint whimper and the darkness of evil shrieks with a toxic vigor as its foul and unholy power collapses the human race.

In Christ’s absence, Lucifer has begun testing their Dark Trinities supreme and destructive potency upon our weak and divided planet. The world heats up, disease consumes all and the old passive and fragile word of God falls upon deaf ears.

Cancer Christ has seen the ailing not too distant future of this godless world. Our bleak existence needs a new, stronger word of God.

Cancer Christ is the imperfect vessel to wage a holy war against those who wish to profit from a dying prophet’s words.

Cancer Christ understands evil must be fought with true words and even truer actions; fire must be met with fire, darkness must be met with searing and powerful holy light.

The mission of Cancer Christ is to find lost souls to take up arms in this new and uncertain heavenly body. We accept all: black, white, gay, straight, trans and all others that wish to fight evil wherever it spews its putrid and vile wickedness.

This undertaking will cause many casualties. The most extreme pain and torture will be experienced but we will not falter in our divine mission to secure a New God, (N.G).

Join us.”

Photo: Dillon Vaughn

Melhaff on the Band’s Newest Album “God Is Violence” (2024)

“There was a call to arms, and there’s this real profound connection we have to this brutal motherfucker known as Jesus,” Anthony Mehlaff about their most recent album. “We were seeing the decline of the planet and where shit was going, and we decided to make songs to release those bad feelings so we didn’t participate in all the satanic activity that’s been going on since the pandemic.”

Photo: Geoffrey Nicholson

 

BAND MEMBERS:

  • Anthony Mehlaff aka Saint Anthony – Lead Vocals/ Flamethrower
  • Snake Bossnoise – Guitars/Vocals/Samples/Slime
  • Piss Snake – Bass/Vocals/ Urine
  • Diesel Snake – Shred Guitars/Sleaze
  • Apocalypse Snake – Drums/Cums
Photo: Raz Azraai
  • ADDITIONAL SNAKEBOYS:
  • Chain Snake: Noise, Vocals, Chains
  • Candy Snake: Sweets
  • Snake Momma: Juggs, Christ Whistles, Confetti
  • Snake Babe: Sex, Pain
  • Missing Snake: Additional Live Drums
  • Rusty Snake: Bass on “SAINT ANTHONY’S SERMON”
  • Snake Girl : Hype Snake
Photo: Raz Azraai

Video List:

  1. “The Blood Of Jesus” (7″ Version)
  2. “Do You Wanna Go To Heaven” (Demo Version)
  3. “Prosperity Preacher” (7″ version)
  4. GOD HATES COPS

 

 

 

It Is What It Is,

  Presented By Les Sober

The End of Abe

Adventures Abroad Alluded Abe as  He was Afflicted by Absolute Alienation.

Believing in the Brutal Beasts, and Brilliant Beauty that lay Beyond the Binding Borderline Abe Bested Blinding Boredom.

The Cretinous Creatures Creeping in the Caves and Contorted Crevasses of the Canyon Passes Contorted Continually in the Cramped Confines of Abe’s Addled Cranium.

Death, Doom, and the Destruction of Dueling Damnations Dwelling in the Dark planning Travelers Dastardly Demented Demise a truly Dire Downfall. These Damnable Demons Did not Deter Abe’s Dedication to Defeating The Dreadful Doldrums.

Enraged Empires of  Eternal Enemies Eliminating Their Extravagant Evils  Encompassing the  Entire Earth. Enslaved and Entombed in the Elegance of the Endlessly Empty of Everlasting Eternity Elated Abe.

Fabulous Fantasy’s and Frenzied Fears Found Abe Floundering in His Fleeting Feelings when Faced with Futility, and Frantic Failure Found Abe Faltering Fast.

The Gruesome Greeting of the Gnarled Giants and the Greedy Ghouls Under the Governing God’s Grandiose Generosity Guided by Grief Guaranteed Abe Greatness at the Gregarious Gathering of Graves should He Go.

The Harrowing Heroism required to Help Humanity from the Hellacious Horrors that Hexed the Haunted Hollowed Halls of the Horrendous Hateful Horde remained Hidden from Abe.

Intense Interest leading to Illogical Ideas Illuminated In the Inner Insanity of Incredible Independence with its Intoxicating Introspective Ideology Irked Abe.

The Justification of Justice and its Judgement Jeopardized Abe’s Journey.

Knowingly the King kept a Kaleidoscope of Knowledge Keeping His subjects, His Keepsake’s Kainotophobia soaked in Kava and Kelter. Abe’s Kiang Kicked in Kippage like a Kylin preparing for Kriegspiel.

Lowlife Lingering Leaches Loitered Leaving the Lusting Lushes Lining the Lanes Liquored Leering in the Languishing  Low Light.

Murderous Madman and Monstrous Maniacs Marauding and Maiming, Mutilating, and Mauling all Mortal Men Making Moves to escape.

Numerous Numbers of Nauseatingly Noxious Gnomes Nastily Gnashing their Nails like Gnarled Knives Navigating the unknowingly Naive to the Netherworld.

The Outrageously Omnipresent Oppressing Overlord Observing, and Ogling Oddities Outside Ominously in Outrage looking into Organized Oblivion .

The Pungent Plague of Paranoid Predatory People Peddling Putrid Pickled Poisons as the Pragmatics Proudly Ponder the Plunders and Perils of a Perverted Purgatory.

Quartets of Orcs and Queasy Queens Qualms, Quarrels, and Quips Quashed Quickly over Quests and Quarter Quota.

Rabid  Reprehensible Rouges Relishing Repugnant Revelations of Riotous Revolt, and Raging Revolution’s  Rancid Retribution Fulfilling Repulsive Resentments against the Reigning Restrictive Rules.

Sinister Soldiers Sloshing and Slipping in Shit as they Sustain Their Sin through Slaughter Seeking, Succumbing to the Sniveling Smiling of The Smirking Snake’s Silent Salvation.

Terrifying Tyrants and Tyrannical Theologian’s Tremendous Triumph of Terror in Thriving Thieves a Terribly Tragic Trophy of Terror Thus Terrible Trepidation Throughout The Temples.

Abe’s Ubiquitous Unrest in Utopia Utilizing the Uniting of Unforeseen, and Ugly Unabridged Universal Undertaking that Utterly Undo the Undying Uniform Understanding of the Unknown Underground Escape.

Villanous Vixens Vomiting their Vastly Venomous Virtue Vanquishing the Vexingly Violent Vision of the Viking Vermin.

The Wildly Wicked Wizard Warlord’s Warrior’s Willfully Waiting for the Wretched Wonders of War  against The Wallowing Witches of the Willow’s Werewolves.

Abe’s Xenagogue’s  Xenium of a Xanthocomic Xenagogy readied his Xenization as a  Xyresic Xylotomous.

Yeagers Yaffling and Yauchle in Yagmiment’s Yallacrack and Yaw-Yaw  over Yakka as Yeverous Yellow-Yowling Yeggs indulging their Yird-Hunger fueled the Yoke-Devils until Yonderward.

Zabernism drove Abe to Zack, to Zaggle avoiding Zowerswopped Zed Zobs searching for a Zitella to join him in his Zigzaggery, and Zugzwang journey to a Zneesy Zwan to live out their days in Zwodder.

Note To The Reader: I’ll be quick. I know especially with the trickier Letters of the Alphabet such a XYZ it look as if I’ve gone all Dr. Seuss, and just started making up words as I went. This IS NOT the case.

GOOGLE any word I’ve used throughout for DEFINITION(S).

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Day-2 The Void

I did something today
Worst thing I have done in weeks.
I did nothing.

I was frozen to myself and not answer the phone.
I wanted to send text messages yet the fingers were not there to guide me home.

I wanted to go to the gym but my cigarettes were 10 feet away.

I wanted some guidance; I got disarray.

I wanted to flirt but I was chickenshit.

I wanted to kick over the sign outside the store but then I was feeling overly mature,

So I settled for fish and chips and a double helping of prunes.

I wanted to light a candle but I was too scared to see my reflection in the flame.

I lifted myself upright to only let myself fall back down….
To this void that pierces my skin.

Then the catacombs of my eyes
Matched the patterns on my shirt
It was time to land my hovercraft
Time to latch back onto Earth

I wanted to tell you with a whisper, with a grin
I looked to see your smiling face
There was nothing
Just a deed for your next of kin

I saw a rainbow draped across your barren soft skin
Viewed a million ships sailing
Over the edge of the flattened world
This treachery
This malaise
Beckons us into the sin

Naked I wanted the day
Stripped away
Naked it was
Droopy eyeballs smacking down the turf

I wanted some candy
I settled for slop

I wanted an epiphany
I settled for sloth

I wanted to be myself
But myself was stuck deep within

I travel the void
There is only me
Just think of me baby
Tomorrow I just might be

By SpaceDog