Tag: Social Media

What The Fuck Is Up With FYB?!!

Greeting to Whoever may still be Lingering around We know it’s been Over a Year of Insanely Little Posting so We thought Readers deserved to Know. For over a Year FYB’s Secondary Project The THC Ministry (THCM) took off rather Unexpectedly. This unfortunately led Us to have Severe Tunnel Vision focusing Solely on THCM and Essentially Inadvertently Neglecting FYB among other Projects. After a Year of Success the Social Media Platform We were Live Streaming On Shut Down Their Live Streaming Feature. This was to due to Money Issues, and the Fact the Platform’s Long Time Users being Complete Cunts by being Maddeningly Possessive of the Platform. Even thought the Live Stream Feature didn’t fucking effect any another Features/aspects of there Platform Some Assholes Fear Change. These Self Absorbed, Self Centered Assholes Couldn’t stay in Their Own fucking Lane and Fucked Up a Good Thing for Everyone Else. These Motherfucking Pieces of Shit damn well know Who They are and again FUCK EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU OLD TIMERS.

Anyway We Digress. To be Brutally Honest We were Recently considering the Option of Shutting Down and Shelving FYB putting it on an Indefinite Hiatus. In the Past couple of Days after Much Ambivalence on Our end We have Decided the Best Option for FYB was to Pivot and take FYB in a New Direction. And what Direction is that? Well Readers will have to come and See for Themselves which isn’t a Hype or Ego Deal it’s that We feel very Little need to Explain Ourselves unless Absolutely Necessary. So We aren’t fucking Psychic so We Don’t know How or If this Pivot will Revive FYB once again or Perhaps We will End FYB in the End but Who fucking Knows, Not Us.

It is What it is,

Les Sober & The FYB Collective

Elons Blue Check Mark

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring ELON BLUE CHECK MARK by the One and Only MeatCanyon.  MeatCanyon’s real name is Hunter August Hancock better know by His online user name MeatCanyon. Hancock is an American Youtuber, Animator, Voice Actor, Comedian, Writer, and Director who makes Parody Animations of Popular Characters (say Sponge Bob for instance). Some viewers of MeatCanyon’s Animations  have been Described them in just One Single Word “Horrifying”. A common on going gag in Hancock’s video’s is that Something Normal or Mundane gets You Killed or Possible Worse.

Not Just that We Also fucking Hate Absolute Idiot and Overrated Asshole Elon Musk and with Good fucking Reasons. First Off Elon isn’t a Self Made Billionaire like Steve Jobs for Example since Asshole Elon’s Parents are Wealthy as Fuck. Point being Elon is an Impulsive, Immature, Egotistical, Ignorant, and Stubborn Trust Fund Brat.  Asshole Elon hasn’t Worked for Anything Ever in His Pampered Life. The Only reason He was able to Achieve Anything such as Starting Tesla was because Mommy and Daddy would Provide Him Excessive Financial Assistance (aka They Bank Rolled Moronic Musk’s Shit) it’s All been Handed to Him on a fucking Silver Spoon Courtesy of Mommy and Daddy. Bottomline here is Moronic Musk was/is a Bratty Billionaire’s Son who got Bored one Day and Decide to Play Businessman.

Now Don’t get Us Wrong Tesla Cars are fucking Fantastic, but that Doesn’t mean the Company is Successful (Tesla has Teetered on the Verge of Bankruptcy Numerous Times over the Years) Nor Does it Insure the Person Running it isn’t a Total Bonafide Fuck Up or Outrageous Asshole. The Problem with Tesla as Most are Aware is in Their Elaborate Overkill when it comes to Assembly. For Example the Average Car, Truck or SUV have Wheel Wells that consist of One Piece of Manufactured Plastic Tesla’s Wheel Well’s consist of 37 Different fucking Parts. Again that Sounds Cool and looks Alright on Paper, but this is Real fucking Life and that Overly Elaborate Assembly Model Doesn’t fucking Cut it.

The Point being it takes TOO fucking Long to Complete a Tesla since a Automated Robotic Assembly Line is Out of the Question. Again this is because Teslas are to Intensive an Assembly for a Robot to Accomplish. And Obviously People work WAY fucking Slower since Robots Don’t Need Pay Checks, Time Off, Go on Strike, take Sick Days, take Vacation Time, need/have 401 ks, to Eat, to Sleep, take Bathroom Breaks, and Doesn’t have Other Responsibilities (like Kids for Example) or make Problems.

As fucking far as Tesla is Concerned the Last Point We would like to make People Run Out of Patience, Especially Wealthy Motherfuckers, So Who the fuck wants to Pay $120,000 Plus in Full (Fuck that Bullshit Tesla Equivalent to an Economy Version that’s Not Incentive its a fucking Insult) for a Car and have to Wait Currently 2 1/2 fucking YEARS before You get it?! No One or No One in the End that’s fucking Who.

Asshole Elon is a Shit so called Businessman and the Reason Tesla faces Possible Bankruptcy from Time to Time is Elon’s Fortune is due to His Tesla Stock. Now Any Financial Profession will tell You that is Dumb as Fuck to Do. You should NEVER Leverage the Stock from Your Main/Parent Company for a New Venture or Investment. This is because if the New Company sucks ass and Goes Under Your Loss can Cripple or Kill Your Main/Parent Business. Asshole Elon is Currently Dealing with this Dilemma since that’s Exactly what the fuck He did to Buy Twitter and Proves Once again He isn’t a Genius Business Man But Rather . Plus He took Out a $12.5 Billion Loan because (in spite of All His Bragging) He Didn’t Actually have All the Cash Required for His/The Purchase of Twitter.

Moronic Musk’s TOTALLY BOTCHED Acquisition of Twitter is a PRIME fucking Example of how Self Described Business Expert Asshole Elon is in Fact a Complete fucking Ignorant Idiot. The Main Body of Proof Lies in the Contract Moronic Musk Signed Pertaining to His Purchasing of Twitter. Asshole Elon’s First fucking Mistake was when in a Televised Interview He was asked BASIC GENERAL INFORMATION Questions about His Purchasing Twitter and Couldn’t Answer a Single fucking One. Moronic Musk then Justified His Utter Ignorance by Admitting He Didn’t Actually Know the Details since He really Didn’t Pay Attention. So for Starters Asshole Elon’s People agreed to a $1 Billion Penalty if for Any Reason Moronic Musk Pulled Out of the Deal.

Obviously after Asshole Elon Didn’t want to Pay the Penalty He just wanted Out of the Deal for Unspecified Reasons. Thus Asshole Elon Spent 2 Weeks Shooting His Mouth Off Bragging Non Stop about Him Buying Twitter, and then Spent 6 weeks or So Battling in Court to get Out of the Purchase and Accompanying Penalty. Not Only Did Moronic Musk Fail MISERABLY to Avoid having to Pay the Penalty, BUT there was Something FAR More Significant and Relative Part of the Contract No One Really Talked about. You see Not Only did Twitter have a $1 Billion Penalty for Backing Out They also made Sure They had the Ability to FORCE THE SALE. Force the Sale means Exactly That Twitter had the Ability to FORCE Elon to Go Through with the Sale/Deal and That’s Exactly What They Did. What was fucking Pathetic as fuck was How Bitch Ass Asshole Elon Shut the Fuck Up for a Week and then Came Back all Nonchalant stating He was Buying Twitter like None of the Previous Bullshit had Happened. Unfortunately for Asshole Elon it Didn’t End there Oh No He went on to make a Bigger fucking Ass Out of Himself (Just Reaffirming He has NO FUCKING CLUE about Business).

In the Interest of Wrapping this Up and Getting to the Video this Last Part will be in the Form of Bullet Points Pertaining to Asshole Elon and Twitter since He Purchased it (and Started Running it into the Ground at Incredible Speed).

  • Elon first and Foremost is a Free Speech Hypocrite. By that We mean He claims to High fucking Heaven He is all for and about Free Speech, BUT if Anyone Criticizes Him or and of His Companies He Terminates Their Account.
  • Elon was Arrogant as Fuck and like Putin with Ukraine Moronic Musk Thought that He’d Stroll in, Take Control, and Live Happily Ever fucking After, AND LIKE PUTIN HE WAS WAY FUCKING WRONG. This is Due to the Fact Elon likes the Attention and Not Actually Working so He by Pawns  off on His Financial/Legal Team(s) and is Personally a Business Retard.
  • Asshole Elon due to His Shitty Subpar Business Practices Elon has Lost 50% of Twitters Advertisers.
  • Also Due to being a Business Practices Elon has Alienated a Large Portion of Twitter’s User Base Who are Leaving Twitter for Other Social Media Platform like the Up and Coming Mastodon.
  • Idiot Elon Also in His First fucking Week Fires HALF OF THE TWITTER Staff in Mass Layoffs. Who the fuck does Dumbfuck shit like that, No Seriously what fucking Imbecile Buys Company and Promptly Fires 50% of the Employees?!

  • After Firing Half the Staff Moronic Musk realizes His Colossal fuck Up and then does a 180 and Begs the Employees He just Cold Heartedly Fired to Please take Their Jobs Back. If that’s Not fucking Pathetic We Don;’t Know what is.
  • Assclown Elon was so DESPERATE to make Money He allowed ANYONE willing to Pay a Measly $8 a Month to have a Blue Verification Check Mark. The Whole fucking Point of the Blue Check Marks was to Verify REAL USER ACCOUNTS to Avoid Fraud and Impersonation of Any Kind. So this Stupid Policy Change Backfired IMMEDIATELY as People used the New System to Impersonate All kinds of People/Companies wreaking Havoc on the Platform. BUT Greed Imbecile Elon is still Sticking with His Asinine Idea.
  • Currently Idiot Elon is Picking a Fight with Apple since Apple was one of the Major Advisers to Pull Their Advertising from Twitter when Asshat Elon took Over. Instead of Trying to Schmooze Apple back to the Table Asshole Elon starts Talking Shit Over and Over on Social Media about Apple pulling its Advertising. So Again We ask What Kind of Absolute Idiotic Asshole who wants a Companies Advertising Dollars INSULTS THEM ON SOCIAL MEDIA, Assfuck Elon that’s Who. So Apple fired Back Reminding Moronic Musk that They had the Power to Pull the Twitter App from it’s App Store which would put a SERIOUS Hurting on Twitter

So in Summation People are Feeble Minded Fools so it’s Really Not so Surprising  how Asshole Elon has Scammed People into Believing He is a Genius and Brilliant Businessman. They Bought into Asshat Elon’s Self Promotional Horseshit about Standing with the Common Man, and All that Bullshit Moronic Musk is Constantly Babbling  About. Assbag Elon is in Reality Nothing fucking Special. He Didn’t Pay His Dues with Hard Work, Determination, and Intestinal Fortitude He just asked His Daddy for a fucking Handout.  Also Asshole Elon Doesn’t Know Jack fucking Shit about Business the People that Work for Him Allegedly do. We say Allegedly because Obviously His Lawyers are Pure fucking shit. Really look How Anus Lick Elon’s Legal Team fucked up the Twitter Contract Which Ultimately fucked Anus Elon by Twitter being able to Force the Deal to go Through.

Assuck Elon isn’t on the Same Level as Bill Gates or Steve Jobs, No He is on the Same Level as Paris Hilton or Brooke Hogan. Idiot Elon is a Complete fucking Fraud He’s just Another Billionaire’s Dumbfuck Kid Acting Out His Fantasies on His Parents Dime. The Only fucking Place on the  Entire fucking Planet that Asshole Elon is a Legend is in His Own fucking Mind.

Also We Enjoy this MeatCanyon Cartoon because of its Nod to the 1986 Remake by David Cronenberg of the Sci Fo Horror Movie THE FLY .

 

 

It is What it Is,

 Presented By Les Sober

The Instagram Asshole Incident

Welcome to another Wednesday FYB Post. I apologize for Our Sporadic Posting but lets fucking face it the Holidays are fucking hell with the Psychotic Shopping and Everyone Traveling fucking Everywhere. I assure You that come January We will be Back on Track with some Improvements. As Justin mentioned I recently helped a Friend Launch a Project and  it Demanded a Great Deal of My Time. Luckily the Project took off Faster than Expected so Now that it’s Up and Running its a Maintenance issue at this Point. This brings Me to Todays Post The Instagram Asshole Incident.

For Context Purposes Heres a Brief Back Story Summation of the Situation. I joined My Friend’s Project as the Creative Director, but then the Treasurer at the Time (who I had a Personal falling out just Six Weeks before I joined the Project) went Completely Retarded on Himself. At first He was all Manic and Happy then things got Dark and They got Dark Fast. A few Days after I signed on the Treasurer started getting Bizarrely Defensive, Increasingly Competitive although Our Jobs were Completely fucking different and I had no fucking interest in His fucking Job. Finally shit Hit the Fan and He had a Total fucking Bitch Fit Style Melt Down, and My Friend wasn’t going to Stand for this bullshit Attitude so He Fired the Treasurer’s Trifling Ass.

What I wasn’t fucking aware of at the Time was that the Newly Departed Treasurer had also been given the Job of the Current Handling the Social Media for the Project. As it turned out in Eleven Months of being on the Project the Treasurer hadn’t done a fucking thing. I’d say it was a fucking Joke, but it was far Beyond being just a fucking Joke it was utterly fucking pathetic. So as a Result I was asked to take over the Instagram Account and I use the word Account loosely since there was No fucking Content to speak of and it had Obviously been set up and then Ignored by the Former Treasurer. Since the Ex-Treasurer had set up the Account My Friend couldn’t get Me the Password and all that Shit so We said fuck it, Deleted the Old Account, and Started from fucking Scratch. Things were going Great with the New Account and We were Racking up Followers and Following Hand over fucking Fist then One Day I just happened to Come Across Something that Thoroughly Pissed Me off. I saw a Post by One of the Accounts We were Following that was Our Mission Statement word for fucking word Verbatim which I fucking Wrote.

Apparently this dumbfuck saw the Instagram Account and Hit up the Project’s Website and then Cut and Pasted Our shit on His Instagram. What this Douche Nozzle didn’t Realize is the Project’s Website Content is in Fact Copyrighted so what this Jackbag did was Actually Illegal. Now here was My fucking Conundrum Obviously on the Personal Front I wanted to Tear this Fuckwit’s Head Off and Shit Down His Neck. The Problem is this wasn’t a Personal Matter this was a Business Matter so I couldn’t just Rant and Rage while Unleashing a Sick Flurry of fucking F-Bombs and Insane Insults. I had to do the Exact Opposite I had to Handle this Professionally which means using a Cool, Calm, Collected, Focused, and Professional Manner. This is not nor has Ever been in My Skill Set so this was Trial By Fire. I was so fucking filled with Indignant Rage I didn’t know what the fuck to do so I called My Friend, Informed Him of the Situation, and Asked Him what How I should Proceed.

He instructed Me to Dm this Motherfucker and simply say the Content He posted was Copyrighted and to take the Post Down ASAP and I did just that. Fast fucking Forward 24 Hours and this Dickhead hadn’t taken the Post down or Even Commented on the Situation at Hand. So I called My Friend again, let Him Know the Post was Still Up, and again asked What the fuck to do since all I wanted to do is End this Fucker and Shit all over His fucking Life. My Friends Told ME to DM the Rimjob again and This Time Add if the Post is Not Taken Down in a Timely Manner We would Persue Legal Action and that should be Sufficient. I did as I was instructed and that was that for the Time Being, but things were about to get Even more fucking Aggravating as Yet Another Dipshit was about to Interject Themselves into the Situation as it were.

The Following Morning I went and Checked Instagram to see if the Post had finally been fucking taken down so this shit would be done and We could get back to fucking Work. Not only was the goddamn Post still fucking up some Bitchface had Hit Up Our DM and Left Her Two Unsolicited Cents on the Subject at Hand. I have No fucking Clue Who Exactly what the Relationship was between this Stupid Shitsack and the Dildo Who Stole Our Content. She could be a Relative, Family Member, Friend, Sibling, or Just a Random Asshat Trolling the Internet jumping into Other People’s Shit to well Start Shit. Now it was fucking aggravating back in the Pre Internet Days when Idiots and Assholes could call Your Job or Worse just Walk the fuck in, but goddamn nowadays its 100 times fucking worse with IM, DM, Email, Text, Internet, and Social Media. Living Today You feel like You’re surrounded by fucking Dickbags that You can’t Ever actually Escape From like You’re Surrounded on all Sides by Sea Shitheads.

This Raging Bitch could have Behaved like a fucking Adult and in a Professional Manner mind You, Yet She chose to Approach the Situation like a Pissy Little Tween Troll. She started by Stating People in the Instagram Community should Be Nicer to Each other and all that Typical Cliche Happy Horseshit. Then She proceeds to in the Very Next fucking Sentence to insult Our Project, Talking Shit on a Personal Level, Bitching like a Banshee in Heat, Name Calling, and being a Stuck Up Holier Than Thou Fucktard. Once Again I wanted to Unleash a Shitstrom of My Own Making Upon this Trifling Whore, but Again I had to Restrain Myself to a Spectacular Degree. It was then that Luck Would have it I just so Happened to see a Quote from Winston Churchill that Saved My Sanity. The Quote is “Tact is the Ability to Tell Someone to Go To Hell in such a Way that They look Forward to the Trip.” a Sort of  Grimmer Version of Killing Them with Kindness.

I then Sat Down and Typed Out My Response to this Irrational Asshole of a Person. I took the Tone of a Stern Parent Reprimanding a Petulant Child. I made Sure to Sound Condescending as a Motherfucker as I talked Down to Her as if She were a Moronic Fool absent of any and all Intelligence. I told Her She needed to Calm Down since She was so Obviously Emotionally Upset and Needed a Quick Time Out. I then Stated that it didn’t matter what the fuck She Thought or Felt since this was a Matter of Copyrighted Intellectual Property Used without Our Expressed Consent and Absolutely Nothing Else. I then Apologized Not for Our Dm’s BUT for the Fact She seemed to be just so fucking Distraught by Them, and then I Provided Her with My Friend’s Attorney’s Contact Information while Welcoming Her to Contact Him Herself on the Matter if She so Desired knowing Damn Well She fucking wouldn’t since She was just a Loud Mouthed Cum Dumpster. I signed off with “Have a Truly Blessed Day” as a Subtle but at the same time Obvious Fuck You.

So My Advice is if You’re on the Job and Confronted by Some Vaginal Fuck Flaps trying to make Problems Remember What Winston Churchill Said and Use the Advice Wisely.

Thanks For Reading,

   By Les Sober  

Shits and Giggles: I Am Your Grandma

Welcome to a little midweek madness featuring I Am Your Grandma by  multimedia artist and filmmaker Julian Mayer. I Am YOUR Grandma is an manic autobiographical video diary if you will that Mayer recorded for her unborn grandchildren. By posting the video on YouTube, she conducts a sociological  study of why people feel compelled to share their personal lives with a entire world made up of anonymous strangers, and whether this sharing affects the actual emotional significance of the video itself. I Am Your Grandma challenges notions of one’s self-perception of mortality, social media, and  one’s legacy after they succumb to death. This video is a grim reminder we never live as long as we’d like.

See you on the other side,

  Otto Rageous  

The Insanity That Is Alantutorial Installment #3

Welcome to Rare Sunday here at FYB featuring the Third of Four Sets of 16 Videos in the Alantutorial Web Series by by American Comedian Visual Artist, and Film Maker Alan Resnick Who plays a Fictional Version of Himself in the Series. Alantutorial a tutorial based Youtube Channel that follows tutorial videos of a Mild Mannered Adult Man Named Alan. However We can tell there is Something Not Quite Right with Alan and His Mental State begins to go from Bad to Worse. The Viewer can see Alan’s Sanity Slipping Farther and Farther Away.  Alan’s Tutorial Videos start to become increasingly more Disturbing with every Passing Day and Every New Video.

Alan Tutorials are Nothing Less than Absurd, and aren’t Practical for Anything. The Production Value is utterly Shitty with Wobbly Camera, Total Lack of any sort of Editing, and Half the Time Alan doesn’t seems to even grasp the concept of His own Subject Matter.

Aforementioned Pertinent Videos:

  • Video #3: “reveal slats of wood and dust a bed part 2” This is the Video which may Provide the Reason Alan get’s Locked Out of His Room and Ends Up Homeless and Living in the Woods.
  • Video #4: “Locked out of room tutorial (what to do)” This is a Major Turning Point in the Series as from this Video Forward Alan starts Slipping into Insanity and Squaller.
  • Video #7: “
  • Video #9: “How to do Spanish hair braids” Features the Infamous/Ominous Blue Chair.
  • Video #10: “DIY weatherize a hole Tutorial”
  • Video #11: “disk tutorial” This is Yet Another Pivotal Turning Point in the Series as Alan has been Abducted and Thrown in the back of a Delivery Truck covered in Blood.

Enjoy.

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Thanks For Watching,

   Presented By Les Sober  

The Insanity That Is AlanTutorial

Welcome to this Monday’s FYB Post where We’re going to do Something Different than the Past Several Mondays. Today’s Post features and Pertains to Alantutorial a tutorial based Youtube Channel that follows tutorial videos of a Mild Mannered Adult Man Named Alan. However We can tell there is Something Not Quite Right with Alan and His Mental State begins to go from Bad to Worse. The Viewer can see Alan’s Sanity Slipping Farther and Farther Away.  Alan’s Tutorial Videos start to become increasingly more Disturbing with every Passing Day and Every New Video.

                    

Alan Tutorials are Nothing Less than Absurd, and aren’t Practical for Anything. The Production Value is utterly Shitty with Wobbly Camera, Total Lack of any sort of Editing, and Half the Time Alan doesn’t seems to even grasp the concept of His own Subject Matter. There are also several Hypothesizes surrounding Alan’s rather Odd Behavior, Speech, and Videos as Well. Here They are in Random Order:

  • Alan is Experiencing some sort of Arrested Development.
  • Alan possibly has a Mental Disorder (example Multiple Personality Disorder).
  • Alan is Mentally Handicapped.
  • Alan has suffered some Horrible Trauma that He can’t come to Grips With Which In Spite of being a Adult Talks like a Little Child.
  • Alan has Asperger’s Syndrom/Autism.

Now the One Hypothesis suggesting Alan has a Autism/Asperger’s Syndrome  seems to be the Most Likely but Why is that? In one of the Early Videos Alan has a Tab on His Web Browser that Notes that it is Autism Awareness Month. Now of course some say that its just a Coincidence, but I hold favor with Those Who believe it’s a Very Subtle Clue. Although I wouldn’t Rule Out All of the Other Hypothesis as I do think some apply here and There through out the Series.

                  

Also as the Series Progresses Alan’s Life starts to Drastically Change. In the Beginning Videos Alan is simply doing His Weird Tutorials in what appears to be the Bedroom of a Small Apartment. Then there is a Significant Turning Point Where Alan is apparently been Locked out of His Room/Apartment and all of His Possessions have been Packed up for Him. Alan then spends a good amount of Time Homeless and Living in some Near By Woods where He still makes Tutorial Videos as Best He Can. There is One Thing that is Troubling from this Time Period and that is Alan is Heavily Splattered with Blood (and then cumulative Dirt and Grim) that He doesn’t seem to fell the need to Wash Off of Himself.

Then all of a Sudden Alan is Abducted by a Unknown Assailant(s) and Transported to an Unknown Location in the back of for all Intents and Purposes appears to be a Uhaul Type Truck. In the Abduction Video It is also a Disturbing Aspect that is Alan being covered in Blood like He just walked off the Set of a B Horror Movie. Alan ends up being Held Captive for a Duration during which the Captor(s) Provide Alan Supplies for His Tutorials which even in Captivity Alan continues to make. What’s interesting here isn’t just that the Captor(s) provide Alan Supplies, but when Alan is Finished a New Video a One Dollar Bill is Slid to Him under the Door.

                   

Over an Undisclosed amount of Time things slowly start to Deteriorate. The Room Alan is being Held in becomes more and more Filthy with Trash all over the Floor and at one Point the Electricity is Cut Off. We know this by the fact Alan has to use a Flashlight in the Final Videos of the Series. At Last Alan discovers a Hole in the Wall, Crawls Enthusiastically through it existing the room and Freeing Himself.

What happens Ultimately to Alan in the End is a Mystery since His Escape Video was the Last Video Posted to His Youtube Channel. Did Alan set out embarking on Starting a Life of His Own? Did He reunite with His Brother? Did Alan’s Captor’s Catch Him as He made His Get Away once Free from Captivity, or Did His Captor(s) Discover Alan’s Escape and Hunted Him down at which Point They Murdered Him? Sucks to say but these are Questions that will More Likely than Not Never be Answered.

                   

Reoccurring Themes:

  • The Color Blue is a Constant throughout the Series. Examples Include The Blue Mat in the Yoga Tutorial, The Actual Blue Chair, The Red Table Alan Paints Blue while in Captivity, and a Small Hand Painted Picture of the Blue Chair on one of the Walls in the Room Alan is being Held in (“The Story Of T3 Balls Video).
  • The Blue Chair appears in Several Videos, but it First appears in “How To Pick Up A Blue Chair Off The Ground”.  The Blue Chair is also featured in “How To Do Spanish Hair Braids”, “How To Eat A Bag Of Chips”, “How to Pick Up A Huge Amount Of Pencils, and “Do It Yourself Weatherized Hole”
  • Slats of Wood
  • Water (Not Actually Water but a Strange Hair Gel Looking Substance).
  • The Money Man Alan creates in Captivity that He ends up having a Conversation With.
  • The Mysterious Woman who is in Only Two Videos and is only Seen in One. (“How To Escape A Dark Room” and “How To Find A Lake”)

Note Worthy Shit: 

  • In the Video Hard Drive Video Alan mentions that He Lives with His Brother.
  • When it comes to the Mysterious Woman Alan says “Ut-Oh” Extremely Nervously as if He is Afraid of Her and Immediate returns to His Bedroom.. Is She Alan’s Mother or  Alan mentions Early on that He lives with His Brother so His Brother’s Girlfriend? Was She the One that Locked Alan in the Closet (aka Dark Room)? That would at least Explain Why Alan is Afraid of Her. Could the Woman be Alan’s Mother? The Video before Alan is Locked Out He Severely Damages the Bedrooms Ceiling while look for Wooden Slats, and is this Why perhaps He was Locked Out/ Evicted?
  • In the Video “Locked Out of Room” Tutorial Alan can be Heard Whispering future Tutorial Subjects to Himself (while awaiting Help), and one of the Subjects is “How To Kill”. This is Significant because in the Video where Alan is being Abducted in the back of a Shipping Truck He’s Covered in Blood.

                    

  • The Room Alan is kept Captive in doesn’t seem to upset Alan say like being Stuck in a Jail Cell for Example. In fact Alan appears to be quite Content with/in His Surroundings.
  • Alan mentions (Sometimes Several Times in a Single Video) to Subscribe, Like, and Add His Youtube Channel as a Favorite.
  • In the “How To Pick Up A Blue Chair…” Video Alan approaches the fallen Chair as if it were an Actual Person who may be in need of Emergency Medical Help or The way Someone would Act Upon finding an Unconscious and Possibly Dead. Alan appears to be Distressed as He Whimpers and His Voice Keeps Wavering as well as Cracking with Emotion. The Alan Discovering His Dead Mother is Backed by the Video’s Description “If Your Chair is on the Floor here is How to get it Back, and Pick Up all the Pieces of Something Broken and Unfair.”

                   

  • It’s Speculated by Some that Alan’s Captor(s) are Forcing Alan to make Tutorial Videos in Captivity to make Them Money (or Moreover They’re Stealing Alan’s Financial Returns from His Youtube Channel.
  • In the Video “How To Fill A Tiny Bin With Dirt” Alan says at one point “The Military Time Watch You Borrowed from Dad.” This is odd because the Only People Other than Alan in the Series are His Brother (Who We Never See or Hear From), The Unknown Woman (Seen Only Once and Not Heard From), and Alan’s Unknown Captor(s). This is the One and Only Mention of Anyone Else, and it just so Happens to be Alan’s Father.

                   

Symbolism:

  • There Many Hypothesis on What the the Origins of the Blood Covered Alan. Some Think it’s because  Alan Kill His Mom/Brother/Brother’s Girlfriend or Possibly Someone Else. The Other Possibility is Whoever Abducted Alan either Beat Him or They could have Killed Alan’s Family and it’s Their Blood all over Alan.
  • There a Couple Different Hypothesis on the Actual Room Alan is held Captive in. One it’s some Room for Holding Someone Hostage and the Other is Far More Intriguing. The Second Hypothesis is tied Directly to the Topic of the Blood in Some Believe Alan Murdered Someone and has been Taken into Custody by the Authorities or Mental Health Professionals. That would make the Room Alan Alan is a Patient’s Room in a Mental Hospital or Possibly a Mental Asylum for the Criminally Insane if He in Fact Did Kill Someone. Then Again Perhaps after Destroying His Bedroom (and Living in the Woods Homeless)  Alan’s Brother/Mother had Him Institutionalized for Help with His Mental Disorder.

                   

  • There also Two Hypothesis on Why Alan’s Room plunges into complete Squaller during the Last Videos. One is the Captors decided to Leave and Left Alan there to Die. The Other is that the Asylum was Shut Down and Alan was simply Forgotten About.
  • Now when it comes to the Blue Chair there a Variety of Hypothesis on what it Represents. Some believe it Represents Alan’s Deceased Mother who’s Body was Discovered by Alan (Remember the Distress and Emotional Angst in the “How To Pick Up A Blue Chair…” Video. It could also Represent Alan’s Failures as Far as Failing to become a Famous YouTuber or Other Life Failures. Then Some think the Blue Chair Represents Alan’s Lost Childhood. The Blue Chair might also Represent Trouble? By this I mean was Alan a Trouble Maker as a Child and Thus was put on a “Time Out” sitting on said Blue Chair.

                   

CONCLUSION:

The Obvious Question on Everyone’s Mind is This Series Real or What and Heres the Answer. It’s Fictional Series it’s actually an Experimental Performance Art Project by American Comedian, Visual Artist, and Film Maker Alan Resnick Who plays a Fictional Version of Himself. Resnick created the Series as YouTube Satire since He was Frustrated (and Disgusted) with/by all the Pointless Vlogs, Poorly Filmed, Poorly Edited if at All, Monetization, Crappy Videos with No Though or Creativity (Content for Contents sake or a Quantity over Quality Scenario), and Unexplained Tutorial on Youtube. Resnick Deemed all of it a Trash/Trashy Content and Decided to Create His Own YouTube Trash Channel Showcasing all the Shit He Hated about the Platform. Resnick created the Storyline of the Fictional Alan being a Dark and Deeply Troubled Individual Who ends up on a Nightmarish Decent into Sheer Madness.

VIDEOS: Here are the First 16 Videos from the Series, and Don’t freak the fuck Out about the Number of Videos (Their Short running from 8 Seconds to Three Minutes and Change)

Enjoy.

Thanks For Reading/Watching,

   Presented By Les Sober  

Tumblr Sugar Daddy Wants To Give Me a $700 Allowance!

I was on Tumblr the other day (and yes it still exists though its in a digital purgatory of sorts like MySpace and shit) when I saw I had a message. Me being me I ignored the shit out of it until I finally thought fuck it and read it. Now I get the occasional message but this one was really different from the rest. It took out like a sore fucking thumb that’s for sure. You see I do get messages from time to time and its just the usual some other User popping in to say Hi and that they like my content or some other shit.

Now don’t engage anyone online or on social media not because I’m anti social (thats Les’s fucking job LMFAO!) its the fact I general assume that everyone online is either and idiot, asshole, or troll. What I’m saying is this message was random as fuck and absolutely unsolicited. This was the text equivalent of a robo call like the ones used by various scammers to find potential victims. Whoever it is was just blanket messaging the shit out of who the fuck know how many people this is the “Let’s throw a bunch of shit at the wall and see what the fuck sticks” type scenario.

The message was from someone claiming to be named Anthony Jackson who was looking for some online companionship due to some dire circumstances in his life. Anthony is also offering to pay me $700 a week to text/call him as if we were dating or some dumb shit. I identified this a scam right away. The premise is lame and cliche in the fact no one wants to be lonely, and since we have social media/ internet there doesn’t seem a reason for anyone to feel isolated, alienated, or alone. Outside of that it’s so fucking absurd its really insane. I’m supposed to be a woman who just blindly accepts that some complete fucking stranger who is also painfully lonely is willing to pay me (who is a complete stranger to them as well) $700 a week?

This scam to me reminds me of the fucking early days of the internet with the African Prince scam where out of the blue you get an email, but not just an email and email from fucking Royalty! The there would be some bullshit about the sender being rich as fuck yet unable to currently access funds. Then they’d promise to give you millions in return if you can hook them up with some cash now. It’s jut like the cartoon character Wimpy from fucking Popeye who’s catch phrase was “I’ll gladly pay you for a hamburger Tuesday for a hamburger today.” personified.

                  

Several years back before the non stop onslaught army of scammers unleashed its full fucked up potential I stumbled across some Scambaiting Videos. The first scam baiters I discovered was Trilogy Media and was hooked right from the get go. I like Les hate fucking bullies or in this case sleazy scammers, and we both champion underdogs in this case being the victims. I found as I went there are two separate and equally unique styles to scam baiting. Theres the first group of people that waste scammers time and piss them off since the scammer can’t scam a victim if they’re tied up on the phone with a scam baiter (and plus listening to theses scumbags go apeshit is HILARIOUSLY ADDICTIVE). The second group are the tech scam baiters who hack scammers computers and delete files, wipe the scammers computer, lock the scammer out of their computer (syskey), call flood call centers, and infect scammers computers with a wide range of viruses.

The only thing that has kept this message on my mind is I can’t for the fucking life of me figure out what the fuck the scam’s end goal actually is. I have mulled it over for hours and I came up with two scenarios. One the scammer is attempting to use the bullshit $700 payments to gain access to the victims bank account by pushing the direct deposit angle. Secondly the scammer is attempting to eventually hack into my phone/computer to steal personal information (identity theft) that they can use to commit several kinds of fraud. A third scenario just fucking occurred to me as I’m typing this shit up. The scammer may be looking to hack the victims phone to steal sensitive information like nude photos and then blackmail them. Anyway you look at the person isn’t Anthony their an asshole.

Scammer’s Original Sent Message :

 

anthonyjackson

Hello sweetie I want to be your sugar daddy. I’m willing to give you $700 as your weekly allowance no sex or just texting and calling like boyfriend and girlfriend I prefer it online cause it tend to last long than seeing each other everyday all I want is just online companionship to relieve me from the grief of my late wife text me on (206) 614-0462

As You can see English appears to be Anthony’s second language since even this short message is riddled with grammatical and punctual mistakes.The first and most apparent is the lack of any punctuation including periods making this message one long ass run on sentence. Seriously if you have a free moment try reading that shit out loud in one single breath the way it’s written. Since I’m not a English teacher and I don’t want to bore anyone with a lifelessly dull grammar lesson or anything like that. Thus I thought the easiest way to address this issue is to do a quick compare and contrast. First I’ll write Anthony’s Original message exactly as it was written. Then following that I will rewrite Anthony’s original message so it makes some sort of fucking sense and all that jazz.

The Scammer’s Message in Proper English:

Anthony Jackson,

Hello sweetie I want to be your sugar daddy. I’m offering you a $700 weekly allowance if you call/text me like we are boyfriend and girlfriend (nothing sexual) .  I prefer online relationships because they tend to last longer than if we see each other everyday. All I want is some human companionship since I’m in grieving after my wife passed. If your interested you can text me at (206) 614-0462

Some Prime factors that indicate Anthony is a scummy scammer:

  • Anthony is obviously a scammer.
  • This is a new scam being perpetrated on Tumblr as that’s where the potential victims are contacted/solicited.
  • Anthony based on his poor mastery of the English language appears to be an African scammer. African scammers unlike Indian scammers tend to be less tech savvy.
  • African scammers tend to use third tier tech I mean how many of you reading this right now even knew Tumblr still even existed?
  • While Anthony contacted me on Tumblr he immediately provides a number for texting because more than likely he doesn’t want any of the actual scam on Tumblr. If he is exposed Tumblr will shut down his account(s) and this is his particular way of soliciting victims.
  • The number Anthony provides is to a Text Only Number meaning you can only text the person, and are unable to contact them by just calling the number directly.
  • The Area code of the number Anthony includes in his initial message is a Washington Are code, but lets fucking face the fact the number was generated by the scammer using Spoofcard or something similar like Spoofcaller.

  • The name is also a pretty dead give away as its a Generic sounding American name I mean fucking come the fuck on Anthony Jackson? What was John Smith already taken?
  • Anthony’s profile pic is also as Generic as Possible. It’s a picture of some average middle aged nondescript guy who looks like a fucking soccer dad. It took is as fake as Anthony’s name. Chances are its just a shitty stock photos or it might be copied from a persons social media account/profile.
  • As far as I remember there is no gender identifier on Tumblr which indicates this is a mass blanket text to a shit load of people since most like Me will not reply. My Tumblr user name is thethcministy which is pretty fucking gender neutral (my name isn’t Daisy Petals or some shit).
  • I am for the record a Heterosexual male (I assume Anthony thinks I’m a female, but hey who knows nowadays so no biggie) and I post very unfeminine things like death metal, demons and devils, horror movie shit, creepy fucking gifs, and death match wrestling for starters. As you can see these are not exactly lady like topics.

                 

In conclusion:

I know if you’re anything like me you’ve wondered who in the name of all things sane would ever fall for such an obvious a scam. Thats the same sediment as asking who would join a cult. The point is this scammers are professional conmen who are trained and practiced in the art of manipulations and lies. They’re paid bullshit artists and unfortunately they’re pretty damn good at it. Thats why a majority of scams are nothing more than rebranded fear tactics. Fear tactics are designed to keep the victim panicking because if you’re panicking or hysterical you won’t stop and think “Hey what the fuck is this really? What the hell is going on here?!” they just want you to react impulsively out of fear.

Scammers will use such fear tactics as in the IRS/Social Security scams that if you don’t pay to settle the issue immediately you’ll be arrested and all your assets seized by the IRS. They will also try to scare victims by telling them that all their personal info, work shit, pictures, and other shit on your laptop/pc/smart phone will be permanently deleted if you don’t act immediately (and of course that requires you paying them for their fake services). As of recent as you can damn well imagine scammers are now using the fear of Hackers/Identity theft to scare their victims into paying without a second thought. I think you can see the pattern here.

The other scammers use the “It’s too good to be true” method claiming you won a Luxury Stay at a High End Hotel, an all expenses paid cruise, or a Vacation in Las Vegas with all the perks you could want. These scammers use people’s greed against them. They just tell the victim everything they want to hear about how great this free opportunity is. They will also claim you have won gift cards or deserve a refund you knew nothing about so they use the “Free Money” ploy or the “Something for nothing” scenario.

Anyway you look at it while you and I may be smart enough to see through the bullshit on an unscrupulous scammers shithead remember not everyone knows what we do. The sad fucking fact is if no one got scammed then there be no scammers so problem solved. Thats why the best thing any of us can do to combat these shitty scammers is to EDUCATE OTHERS about them so if they are targeted they know how to defend themselves. Thats why we at FYB fully endorse heading over to ye old youtube and watching some scam baiting videos not just because they are entertaining, but EDUCATIONAL as well.

FYB’s favorite scambaiters Recommendations :

  • Trilogy Media
  • ScammerRevolts
  • Jim Browning
  • Kitboga
  • IRL Rosie
  • ScammerPayback
  • Hoax Hotel

Thanks for reading and I’ll catch you all later,

By Justin Sane  

FYB’s Salute To Eccentrics: Francine Dancer

Its been a Long While since We had a Proper Candidate for FYB’S Salute to Eccentrics so We are Thrilled to have Finally found Another Exemplary Eccentric to Showcase. You see it takes a Great Deal of Effort to Locate an Authentic Eccentric especially Now a Days with all the Dumbfucks on Social Media, and the YouTube View Whores Out there while Pumping out Crappy Content like Their fucking Lives Depend on it. With the Field Flooded with all These People that are  Desperately Seeking to Achieve the Title of “The Next Big Internet Sensation” (Not to mention the Fame and Potential for Endorsements and Other Money Making Ventures).

There is a Vastly Drastic Difference Between the Two Perspective Groups that all comes down to One Succinct Distinguishing Variable. Anyone can Decide to make Videos of say Themselves Wearing a Gas Mask and riding a Hippy Hop in Random Places (Such as a Fast Food Restaurant, Walmart, Library, Mall, or Supermarket for Example). Sure People would think it was a Very Odd thing to Do, and that The Person in Question is a Weirdo, Freak, or Crazy. The Point is Any Average Person can make up and Film some Bizarre Premeditated Video(s) in Hopes that it Goes fucking Viral, BUT that DOES NOT make Them even Close to being Eccentric.

      

Authentic Eccentrics are Quirky from Birth as if Odd is part of Their DNA which is Why Most Eccentrics have No Idea (or Interest) in the Fact that They are Eccentric. The Eccentrics that are aware that They have been Labeled as So, and thus are Perceived as Eccentric by the Public are only aware because Other fucking People have Told them So (Throughout Their Entire Lives No Doubt). Essentially it is an Aggressive Form of Forced Self Awareness. It’s Constantly Accosting Someone to Remind Them that the Rest of the World Sees Them in a Rather Unfavorable Light, and No One like being called Crazy without Provocation. People just do Shitty stuff like this because People are inherently Shitty but I digress.

The Eccentric We would like to Salute in this Installment is a Woman Known as Francine Dancer Who made Her own Unique Mark on The World Wide Web.  Below are Four Videos by Francine Dancer followed by The Facts and The Fiction Surrounding this Eccentric Person and Personality.

Enjoy.

So What is it All About?

  • Francine Dancer posted a Small Handful of Musical Themed Videos (Seven in Total).
  • Four of the Seven Videos featured Francine interacting with a Tall Lanky and Quiet Creepy looking Doll of Some Sort.
  • The Doll Appears to be Homemade being more than likely Constructed by Francine Herself.
  • The Doll looks like Dr. Frankenstein built it in His Lab using Parts from a Mannequin, a Sex Doll, and then Hired Marilyn Mansons Make Up Artist to do the Make Up.
  • What makes the Doll Unnerving is its Distinctive Personification (The Attribution of a Personal Nature or Human Characteristics to Something Non-Human, or the Representation of an Abstract Quality in Human Form).
  • It Didn’t take Long for Francine’s Video’s to Fizzle Out and Francine was all but Forgotten and Her Online Presence Vanished.
  • Francine’s Videos were Resurrected Many Years Later when They Resurfaced on TIK TOK creating quite a Buzz Online.
  • Viewers were Freaked the fuck out by the Doll and the Fact They couldn’t Figure Out what the hell was Going on or What the Point of Francine’s Videos Actually was Since there is Zero Context Provided. As We Know when People can’t Understand Something Their Imaginations Run fucking Wild and with Francine there was No Acceptation.

       

Francine’s Alleged Backstory:

  • Francine was a TV Star before Her Partner She Preformed with Unfortunately Died (Reasons Unknown). This Effectively Ended the “Act” as it were thus Killing Francines’s Dreams of Being a Hollywood Actress.
  • After being Forced out of the Limelight by Circumstances beyond Her Control Francine had a Severe Mental Breakdown (Nothing Short of a Psychotic Break) Unable to Cope with Her New Found Reality.
  • Francine in a Completely Delusional State of Mind Broke into the Funeral Home, and Stole the Body of Her Dearly Departed Partner before Burial.
  • Francine then Proceeded to Hide the Dead Body of Her Partner in Her Home.
  • Francine Recorded the Four Videos in Question to Relive Her Glory Days on TV Desperate to be a Star Once Again.
  • Eventually the Authorities are made Aware of the Situation by an Anonymous Tip and Intervene. The Police Reclaimed the Corpse and Arrested Francine on the Spot.
  • Francine is Subsequently Tried for Breaking and Entering, Destruction of Private Property, Theft of a Corpse, and Desecration of a Corpse.
  • Francine was inevitably found Guilty on All Charges and was Sentenced to Live Out the Remainder of Her Days on Earth at The Snyder Asylum for the Criminally Insane.

The Big Question: Is This a Hoax?

  • Back in 2007 a Link Posted Online Titled “Best Weirdest Show EVER! Totally INSANE AND TRIPPY” was Discovered.
  • The Video appeared to be Footage from a Cable Access Show (This was Later Confirmed to be Correct) called Steve Beacon on Francine Dancer Variety Half Hour” .
  • In the Footage Francine Dances with an Extremely Tall and Extremely Thin and Lanky Man apparently Named Steve Beacon. The Two Dance like Small Children in impromptu and Ransom Movements with No Choreography whatsoever. This is Definitely Not So You Think You Can Dance or Dancing with the Starts Not By a Long Shot. This Footage would make much more sense if this was done by Actual Children as Opposed to Fully Grown Adults.
  • The Glaringly Apparent Likeness of Steve Beacon’s Physique to that of the Demented looking Doll is Uncanny without Doubt. This Fueled the Flames of the Internet Rumor Mills  surrounding Francine’s Backstory.

Since There is Nothing like Seeing for Yourself so Below is the Video “Best Weirdest Show EVER! Totally INSANE AND TRIPPY” Featuring the Footage of Steve Beacon and Francine on the Francine Dancer Variety Half Hour.

Enjoy.

In Reality: The Facts

  • Francine’s Backstory while Entertaining and Morbid is Total Bullshit.
  • There is No Record of Francine having a Mainstream Network TV Star.
  • There is No Record of Francine’s Arrest or Conviction on Public Record.
  • The Snyder Asylum for the Criminally Insane Simply Does Not Exist.
  • Even though there is the Public Access TV Show Footage with Steve Beacon there is Absolutely No Indication that He could be or Was Francine’s Dead Performance Partner. The Title of the Show is Steve Beacon on the Francine Dancer Variety Half Hour as Opposed to The Seven and Francine Dancer Variety Half Hour or even The Steve and Francine Dancer Variety Half Hour.
  • Francine is Now a Senior Citizen Who is back on Public Access and Still Preforming with the Demented Looking Doll.
  • On One Episode of Her New(er) Cable Access Show Francine in fact Introduces the Doll to the Viewing Audience as Stary Dancer.
  • There is a Surprising Amount of Videos Posted to YouTube Pertaining to Francine such as Interviews and Biographical Pieces a Plenty.

Thanks For Reading,

Presented By Les Sober  

I’ve Seen Some Stupid Shit But This Is A New One

This Story Starts a Short While before the 2020 Election when it was Revving Up to be the Total Post Election Shit Show it is Currently. One Day I had to Run a Mundane Errand that required that I Drive over to a Near by Neighboring Town. This is a frequent Side Effect of Living in a Town So Small it Only has one Single Traffic Light is it Requires that You Travel for a wide Variety of Reasons. The Main Reason being in a Small Town You have Limited Choices (and Certain Product Availability) so Traveling to a More Populated Area becomes Part of the Chore.

This Particular Drive is Quite Scenic as it Runs Through a Mix of Pine Forrests and Farming Fields with the Odd Small House/ Mobile Home sprinkled in Here and There. The Road as one might Imagine Qualifies as the Road Less Taken since You can Drive Miles before seeing Even One Other Car on the Road. Around the Midway Point of the Journey on the right side of the Road Across from a Empty Farmer’s Field is what appears at first to be a Viable Side Street or Road if You will. It is in fact The Top of someone’s Driveway You Can’t actually see the House from the Road because it’s Hidden in a You Guessed it One Forrest. What You can See is that approximately a Quarter Mile down this Long ass Driveway is a Large Cast Iron Gate Blocking. There’s 10 Foot Brown Stone Walls on Either Side of the Gate that Start about Ten Feet High and Taper off toward the Ground. I have No Idea what the Aesthetic Brown Stones are because I’m not a fucking Geologist, but They Look Halfway Decent.

         

Now as I Mentioned this was in the Pre 2020 Election and America was in a Chaotic Frenzy. Well on this particular Day as I drove by I Noticed the Residents had Placed 25-30 Elect Trump Yard Signs about Four Feet Apart Down both sides of their Driveway.  It was Overkill in Every Sense of the Word. Now We Fast Forward the Election is Over, Biden has Been Certified by the Electoral Collage, and its been a Month and a Half Past Election Night. So the Next Time I had to had to Run an Errand Out that Way it was No Real Surprise that the Elect Trump 2020 Yard Signs had been Removed. Now on the Way into Town I Noticed a Excessively Large Banner Displayed at the Top of the Same Property where the Elect Trump 2020 signs had Previously been. I noticed it too Late to see what it Said, but I decided that right then and there that on the Way Back I would Most Definitely Find out what this Banner was all About.

On the Way Back I made sure to Slow Down (which is Easy to do on a Road with Virtually no Traffic as I mention Earlier) so I could take in the Banner in its Entirety and What I saw I found Absolutely Dumbfounding. At the Top Half of the Banner on a Dark Navy Background it Said in Big Block Letter in all Caps “TRUMP SIGN THIEVES” and there was a Phone Number displayed Under it also in Big Ass Font. The Bottom Half consisted of 3 Pictures of Three Different Cars of the Suspected Sign Thieves Vehicles, but We’ll get back to that in a Minute. It was Painfully and Blatantly Obvious that the Home Owner was 1. Die Hard Trump Supporter 2. Was Pissed as Hell about Their Elect Trump 2020 Yard Signs being Stolen. What I want to Know is What the fuck do Does the Home Owner Expect to Happen pertaining to The Stolen Yard Sign Banner?

                  

I First thought to Myself Seriously How fucking Stupid since Yard Signs Run an Average of 97 Cents to Custom Make so This Person was Out a Whopping $48.50. This is Horribly Ironic since this Banner They had made cost Them a Couple Hundred Dollars so that 3-4 times as Much as the Cost of the Yard Signs. I just figure Out if You’re Pissed about being Out $50 Why the Hell would You then Invest a Couple Hundred in an Additional Banner? I may be Shitty at Math but Even I can tell You That Doesn’t Add Up. The Only Possibly Reason I could Muster was The Home Owner Truly Believed that the Stolen Yard Sign Banner would in deed Pay Off in the End. Still the Question Remained What was the Intention of the Home Owner since They are having a rather Extreme Reaction to the Theft of Their Shitty Elect Trump 2020 Year Signs?

This is My Hypothesis on this Oddly Absurd Situation. Once the Home Owner Saw the Signs were Stolen the Enraged Idiot(s) called the fucking Local Police and Reported it. The Cops basically Blew the Hoe Owner Off due to the Ridiculous Nature of the So Called Offense. Then the Pissed Off Assholes decided They would have to take Matter into Their Own Hands with Their Bizarre Brand of Vigilante Justice. They then had to Spend some Time coming up with a Course of Action and in The End They settled on Big Ass Bullshit Banner. Next They had to go to a Graphics Shop and have the Banner made and again Pay a Few Hundred Dollars for it. After that They returned Home and Erected the Batshit Banner at the Top of Their Driveway, and I assume are Still Waiting for the Banner to yield Results.

At this Point I’d like to Readdress the 3 Large Blown Up Pictures of the Alleged Sign Thieves Vehicles. The First Thing I’d like to Address is the Fact that These Pictures are so Shitty and Off Point its fucking Mind Boggling. What I mean is all Three Picture are Utterly Useless since NO INFORMATION can be deduced from Them. You See Each Picture Failed to Catch the Car’s License Plate which is in the Second Chapter of “The Big Book of Duh”.  Since all the Photos are Shot at Insanely Strange Angles You also have No Chance to possible See the Driver or Anyone Else Who Might be in the Car. For all Intents and Purposes the Pics look like they were taken by a Drone that was being Operated by The Clueless Village Idiot. I say this because Not Only  all the Car Photos Void of Any Pertinent Information Whatsoever the Picture seem to have been taken From Above at Random Angles. It’s Almost as if the Camera was Basically Shooting Down from Above the Cars.

Not to Mention the Fact The Home Owner had Photos (as Shitty as They Were) actually had Photos since where the fuck was the Camera Located in the First Place? With a Vast and Empty FArmer’s Field across the Road from the Property there is No Where to Attach any Type of Camera since Theres Literally Nothing to Attach it too. This Must Mean the Camera would have to have Been Mounted on the Same side of the Street as the Home Owner’s Property. The Issue there is again Where was the Camera Located? My Wife Theorized the Pictures were Caught by a Security Camera at the Gate. The Problem with that is as I said the Gate is a Quarter Mile Down from the Road, and since the Yard Signs were running down the Sides of the Main Road the Camera couldn’t see Shit to take a Picture.

                  

The Next Option would have been the Most Likely in Most Cases. We live in a Rural ass Area where Hunting and Fishing are as Big as Professional Sports, and Most Hunters Use Motion Activated Trail Cameras to Surveil Perspective Hunting Territory for Game. Thus it would make the Most Sense if Someone mounted a Trail Camera or Perhaps Several to the Pine Trees that Comprise the Forrest on the Home Owner’s Property. The Only Problem with the Stolen Sign Situation is a Trail Camera Would Have to be Mounted at the Same Hight as the Cars, and Not 15 feet up the Trunk of the Tree since its Motion Activated (and You’d want to Photograph Cars Not Birds Flying in the Distance). Thats How I came to the Only Reason I could Think of which is it was a Drone Camera but Who fucking Knows.

As for the Intent of the Banner I am Equally as Clueless as I still can’t Deduct what the fuck the Home Owner thinks is going to Happen as a Result of Their Banner? The Police aren’t going to be of any Assistance due to it being No Where Near a Priority, and The Only Evidence is the Three aforementioned Crappy Photos a 3 Cars that contain Nothing of Value as far as Information. So is the Home Owner Honestly expecting that some Stranger Driving down the Main Road Outside of their Property, See the Banner, and Somehow be Able to Identify One of the Cars. This is Already a Never Going to Happen Hell or High Water Situation, but I’ll Play Devil’s Advocate for the Sake of Argument.

                

Let’s Say Someone did see the Banner and All That the Home Owner is Banking on that Person Giving as Big as a Shit about the Stolen Signs as the Owner. The Stranger would have to be Equally as Enraged over a Case of Stolen Yard Signs to even Give a Shit. If it were Me and I saw the Banner and Actually Knew One of the Cars (“Oh Shit Thats Phil’s Car!”) the Next time I saw the Car Owner I’d tell Him how Hilarious I find the Whole thing and Way to Go. Point Being the Last damn thing I’d do is call the Number on the Sign I simply wouldn’t Say Shit. Lastly even if the Home Owner found Out Who the Cars Belong To fuck are They Going to Do? There’s really No Legal Recourse (just ask the Cops who were annoyed by the Reporting of this Piddly Shit) so They could Only do One of Two Things.

Option One is to Tell Everyone around since Word Travels fast in a Small Town where Everybody Knows Everybody. This would be to Call the Culprit Out and Publicly Shame Them in the Eyes of Their Friends, Family, and Community (Most of Which are Avid Church Goers so “Thou Shall Not Steal’). I also Suppose in this Day and Age They could do the Same by Talking Shit on Social Media to Vent as well as Call Out the Guilty Party. If the Home Owner is a real Dicks They could Go Over to the Alleged Guilty Person’s Residence and Address the Matter Face to Face. This would Not be a Safe Decision since the Home Owner Would Either End Up In Jail for Showing Up and Acting like a World Class Asshole or For Killing the Supposedly Guilty Person. That or They End up Getting Shot, Beaten to a Bloody Pulp  or Killed Themselves. Anyway You Slice it it Always Ends Badly for the Idiotic Home Owner. So the Question Remains the Same: What the Fuck is the Point?

Besides it being an Utter Absurdity of the Situation I’m just Relieved it s something Entertaining instead of Asinine. I mean at Least it wasn’t a Situation like This Old Cranky Bastard that Lives in My Neighborhood Who is Still Flying His Elect Trump Flag like an Absolute Asshole.

Thanks For Reading,

By Les Sober  

The New Emerging Internet Mystery Update: The Latest Video From Valknut

We Previously Posted a Piece on 8/5/2020 on a New Mystery that was Emerging from the Darker Corners of the Internet, and that We Couldn’t be more Thrilled. On that Note there have been a Couple of New Developments since Our original Post so Let’s Get Started.

BRIEF RECAP:

  • Whoever is Uploading Content Doesn’t have a User Name He/She/They go by an Icon Consisting of Three Interlocking Triangles Called a Valknut. The Valknut is a Symbol that Appears on a Variety of Objects from the Archaeological Record of the Ancient Germanic People. Archaeologists Don’t Really Know what the Ancient Germanic Tribes Called this Symbol or Why They Etched or Marked Artifacts with It. The Term Valknut is Derived from the Modern Era and the Term or Terms used to Refer  to the Symbol during its Historical Employment (use) are Unknown.
  • Valknut’s Main Theme/Focus appears to be Organized Religion, but He/She/They are  Utterly Ambivalent when it comes to the Question “Is this Religious Focus Negative, Positive, Or Indifferent?!” This Perplexing Vagueness of Sorts is an Unusual Spin on the Reoccurring Topic of Religion in a Majority of These Unexplained/Mystery Internet Videos. What We mean is  that the Portrayal/Reference/Allusion to Religion in these Type of Videos Tends to be Overtly Negative in Every Context.

  • Valknut First Showed up in the First week of June of this Year.
  • He/She/They Posted 14 Videos that were Posted Sometime in June.
  • 6 Additional Videos were Posted Sometime in July.
  • We found a Link to a Youtube Channel by a User Named Meat that had had all its Content including Icon Picture Deleted.
  • We thought there might be a Possible Link between Valknut and the Mysterious User Known as Meatsleep, But We discovered that in fact there is NO CONNECTION between Valknut and Meatsleep.
  • Valknut Doesn’t Appear to have Any Other Social Media Accounts (like Meatsleep or Hi I’m Mary Mary for Example) at Least We haven’t been able to Locate Any, and We haven’t Heard about Any Past or Present from Any Other Reliable Source.

SO HERE’S WHATS NEW:

  • First and Foremost Valknut Released a New Video that He/She/They Posted Yesterday on 9/12/2020  Titled bless (Posted Below as Per Usual)
  • Secondly for Some Unknown Reason Valknut’s 18 Previously Mentioned Videos have been Taken Down/Deleted (Though We’re sure there are Others who have Copies Stashed Here and There, and We are happy to be able to say We have all 18 previous Video’s in Chronological Order.)
  • The Only Remaining Valknut Video Currently Available is the New Aforementioned bless. 

Enjoy.

Thanks for Reading/Watching,

Presented By   Les Sober & FYB

(Pt1219Am)