For Shits and Giggles: “The Text Read Around The World”

Today I received by far the fucking funniest text I’ve received in an eternity from C Nobody, and one I believe rivals Les and Spacedog’s TEXTPOCOLYPSE Posts. In fact this one singular text, in my opinion anyways, not only rivals but has outdone all Les and Spacedog’s texts combined. Yeah I’m that fucking sure of my self I said it and I’m not apologizing for it either.

This text standoff needs some explaining so here is a bit of the backstory in a nutshell. C Nobody enjoys spending time with his father, but what he doesn’t like is the fact his father is a Fox News junkie. You got it that means if and when C Nobody hangs out with his Father he is subjected to Fox News which like all of us at FYB think is complete fascist fucking bullshit republican propaganda more now than fucking ever. Anyways as you may imagine from time to time while visiting with his father C Nobody needs to vent, and thanks to technology he has the ability to text in these situations.

Anyway at 7:28 pm I received such a text from C Nobody, yet this wasn’t the typical type of text I get like “I’m losing my mind fox is so full of shit” or “I can’t stand having to see this bullshit” for example. This text was something special unto itself a true one of a fucking kind, and that is why I felt the need to share said text here on FYB.

C Nobody’s text to Justin Sane 7:28 pm on Wednesday:

“Motha fuckin shit…and fucking bullshit. Stupid fuckin fucks. Simple touched in the head fuck-a-roos. Momma said he was a “special” fuck. A unique fuck. So many stupid fucks I’m on the search for a smart fuck. Smart phone for a smart fuck. Stupid fucks make little stupid fucks that create other stupid fucks…Stupid fucks. Fucking retarded sir fuckingtons on tv. Only you can prevent fuckery approved and paid for by Joe Biden. Stupid fucking fucks from fox news. Stupid fox fuckers. Only stupid fucks fucks with fox. Fox fucking fuckers. Can’t deal with a left fuck, middle fuck or right fucks…All fucks have been revoked. Feel free to fucking call as I don’t almost ever fucking reject your calls….Should you feel the fucking need to call. Fucking fuckity fuck fuck. Yeah fox brought that out of me….Can’t believe my dad likes this bullshit lmao. America fuck yeah.”

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There are SO many reasons that I love this goddamn text to such a great extent. First I absolutely get a kick out of it’s rather absurd nature by which I mean who are all these people exactly of whom he is speaking since the actual context comes at the end of the text. I also get a kick out of how at several points the text seems almost poetic in its aggressive madness. It also comes off as a some what bizarre social commentary on the state of the fucking world today. Of course it goes without saying I enjoy the Over the top use of and obscene variations of the word “fuck”. The last thing I like about this text is it earnestness it doesn’t in all actuality come of like a psychotic rage filled rant. The emotional tone of the text doesn’t feel anger, but mental exhaustion combined with frequent frustration over a prolonged period of time. Anyway we will have to sit back and see if C Nobody ever tops his own text.

See you when I see you,

  Justin Sane