Tag: Spotify

Goonlord – Caveman (Official Video)

Mondays are a Motherfucking Pain in the Ass so it seemed fucking Appropriate to Post this Considering the Extreme Frustration Surrounding this Post. This FYB Monday is the Official Animated Music Video for the Song “Caveman” by the Death Metal Band known as Goonlord. In a Cool Collaboration the “Caveman” Video was Animated by Non Other then a Recent Favorite of Ours Creeptoons.

Now this is the fucking Frustrating Part of this Post was/is the Lack of Available Information. Allow Me to Explain What I’m Talking about. First Off when You fucking Type Goonlord into a fucking Search Engine it Responds with “Did You Mean Goodlord?” which I damn well didn’t. I don’t know Who the fuck or What the fuck Goodlord is, but it sounds like a Christian Organization and after this Post I fucking Hate Them. I also Check Numerous Websites and Music Platforms and Here is What I Found which isn’t a Hell of a Lot.

Goonlord:

  • As I mentioned before They are a Death Metal Band.
  • Goonlord is from Florida.
  • The Album “Caveman” was Released on Monday November 29th 2021.
  • You can Find Goonlord’s Music on iToons and Spotify as well as Several Other Music Websites.
  • Goonlord Albums: Wide Eyed, Caveman, Inhuman, Pariah, and Someone May Die Here.
  • I Found what I fucking Thought was a Real Lead: goonlordfl.com which was completely fucking Useless. Their were Picks of the Band with No Bios, and There was Merchandise for Sale but No Band Information. It’s fucking Bizarre Yet Death Metal is a Fairly Niche Genre so Maybe I shouldn’t be that fucking Surprised after all. Who fucking Knows Not I.
  • Band Members:
  • Wesley Mitchell – Vocals
  • Jono Sanchez – Guitar
  • Quentinn “Super Q” Hembree – Guitar
  • Las Miles – Bass
  • Jon “Tree” Lelesi – Drums

Now this bring us to Creeptoons which is even more fucking aggravating then Researching Goonlord which was a Real Kick in the Nuts. So without Further Ado here is What I found on Ye Old Creeptoons:

  • Creeptoons is a Singular Artist
  • Creeptoons is Male.
  • Creeptoons has had Art Exhibits at the Modern Eden Gallery.
  • Besides His Youtube Channel He has an Instagram Account.
  • He is also on Etsy.
  • He is on Facebook/Meta (Yeah Right Zuckerberg You Dick).
  • There is No Personal Information in Any of the Bio aka “About” Categories.
  • Creeptoon’s Once Described His Work as “Creeptoons are Disgusting, Loveable Monsters that Live in the Clogged Arteries of Your Imagination.
  • The Closest thing to Anything Personal is Creeptoons refers to/ Describes Himself with just one fucking Word: Artist.

I think the Reason for the Horrendous Lack of Information is Perpetrated by Creeptoons Himself. Remember Kiddies there Artist Who are the Acceptation to the Rule. There Some Artist who are Honestly all about Their Art, and have No Interest in Being Famous or the Hassles that come with it. The Artists want to get Their Art Out there but Don’t want to go out in Public and Get Swarmed with People Badgering Them for Autographs or Picture. It was No Secret that Kurt Cobain for an Example Struggled with Fame and it made Him fucking Miserable. Also there Artists that to Avoid a Kurt Cobain Scenario go to Great Lengths to Keep Their Anonymity like Banksy or Sia for Example. I fully Believe Creeptoons is one of these Artists that wants His Work to Speak for Itself and Keep His Private Life Well Just that Private.

Enjoy.

Thanks For Watching/Lisening,

   Presented By Les Sober  

The Unexplained Mystery of the Crying Man Radio Transmission

On June 11th 2020 a Tok Tok User Named Aiden (aka cidlid) was parked near a Church in Elka Park near Hunter Mountain located in New York State. Aiden was sitting in Their Car doing a Livestream when Suddenly something Sinister started to Happen. A Strange and Disturbing Transmission started to Playing on Their Car Radio for No Apparent Reason.  The Transmission starts with some assorted Noises that Aiden states sounds like Footsteps (possibly Running) and “Tape” Noise like when You start to Peel off a Length of Duct Tape. Aiden also comments that the Acoustics of the Transmission made it sound as if the Man was in a Bathroom due to the Specific Type of Echo heard in the Transmission. The Odd Noises was followed by Four Minutes of a Man Sobbing, Crying, Moaning, Groaning, Sniffling, Whimpering, Panting, and Breathing Heavily before Transitioning into a Creepy Distorted Audio of some Surreal Song Starts to Play. The Song Ends and the Transmission Ends as Mysteriously as it Started.

                   

Aiden didn’t have a Clue what the fuck was Going on and was Visibly Shaken by the Unknown Occurrence. Aiden wonders aloud if the Man is in Actual Distress and Needs Emergency/Professional Help, but Who would They Call for Assistance in a  Situation as Bizarre as this?  Several Days Later Aiden Posts the Second Additional Part of the Original Video of the Crying Man recored on the Same Day. The Audio Quality in the Second part of the Video is Far Superior to that of the First Video being Louder and Much Clearer so You can Hear Every Nuance of the Transmission. The Unexplained Transmission was Broadcast on the Radio Station 89.9 WKCR FM in New York. This begs the Question was this a simple case of Someone Hijacking WKCR’s Radio frequency?

                    

Lets fucking Face it thanks to New Technology for Listening to Music such as Spotify, Pandora, Satellite Radio, Internet Based Radio, iTunes, and all the Other Music Listening Alternatives equates to Radio being a Dying Medium, and as such is Widely Disregarded by the Public. The Reality is Radio Relies on Advertising Dollars for its Revenue, and thus the Exodus of Advertisers to Alternative Music Listening Platforms is the Last Nail in Radio’s Coffin. Also with the Advancement of Technology Anyone Nowadays can Sit on Down and Watch a Tutorial on How to Hijack a Radio Station. Not Only That but an Average Joe can also Purchase the Exact Equipment for Cheap You’d Need as well. Thus All anyone has to do is Buy the Equipment, Watch a Tutorial or Two, and Wallah You’re ready to Hijack a Radio Station. It is Important to note that HIJACKING A RADIO STATION IS EXTREMELY ILLEGAL and if Caught You Will Be Charged with a FEDERAL CRIME BY THE FCC (Federal Communication Commission) SO DO NOT HIJACK RADIO STATIONS!!

A Little While Later Aiden Posts another Video to Tik Tok explaining How They actually contacted WKCR pertaining to the Seriously Weird Broadcast. WKCR 89.9 FM belongs to Colombia University Located in New York City Several Hours Away from where Aiden heard the Ominous Broadcast. WKCR replied that They had Nothing being Broadcast in/around the Area Aiden was at the Time of the Incident, and that They were in No Way Responsible for the Eerie Crying Man Transmission. In a Nut Shell Aiden at the Time of the Occurrence was Out of WKCR’s Broadcast Range. A Staff Member at WKCR named Jeremiah Wrote Aiden Stating: “Elka Park is Not NYC. Our Signal is Most Likely Intermittent up there. Those Recordings are Not being Broadcast from Our Radio Station- This is Someone in the Vicinity of the Elka Park Area.” What this Means is the Crying Man Broadcast was being Transmitted by Someone Running a Pirate Radio Station (a Pirate Radio Station is a Radio Station that Broadcasts without a Valid License which makes it Subsequently Illegal according to the FCC Guidelines) somewhere in the Elka Park Vicinity.

                      

It didn’t take Long for People on the Internet to Start Hypothesizing about Who or What the Mysterious Crying Man Broadcast was all About. The First Hypothesis was the Broadcast was an Audio Recording from a Dark Web Red Room Broadcast, and is of a Real Person being Tortured for the Amusement of the Viewing Audience. The Second was it was just Some fucked up Person’s Sick and Twisted Prank. Both of these Hypothesis can Not be Confirmed because of a Almost Total Lack of Clues as well as Any Pertinent Information.

Then Speculations Began that the Crying Man Broadcast was the Audio from the Notorious Alleged Dark Web Video Titled “Blank Room Soup”. Blank Room Soup Video has been around 15 years and is Still Complete Mystery to this Day that Features a Man Sobbing while Eating what is Assumed to be Soup. He is sitting in a Blank White Room being Comforted by Two Individuals Dressed in Ray Ray Costumes. If You’re confused or want to know more about Blank Room Soup check Out Our Piece on it in the Dark Wb Video Category (We Promise You won’t be Sorry). Now Outside of some Minor Vocal Inflections it becomes apparent Quite Quickly that the Two Audio Recordings in Question Are Not the Same.

After some time the Song at the End of the Crying Man Broadcast was Identified as the Song “Taxonomies” by Larry Gus of His Album Years Not Living. this Led Many People to wonder if the Album Title had was some sort of Clue to the Meaning or Purpose of the Crying Man Broadcast, Unfortunately No Connection between the Two has ever been Identified. Other People thought the Crying Man Broadcast might be Part of an ARG (Alternate Reality Game), But that Hypothesis is Unlikely since there is No Awkward Amateur Acting, Puzzles, Unusual Images, Insane Imagery, Cryptic Codes, or Any of the Usual Fare You find with ARGs. The Crying Man Incident appears to be a Freak One Time Occurrence that just so happened to be Caught on Camera by a Tok Tok User totally by Accident. To Date NO ONE other than Aiden has come Forward as an Actual Witness if You will to the Mysterious Broadcast.

So the Last Prominent Question is Did Aiden Stage the Whole fucking thing? The Septics would use this Explanation to Discredit and Dismiss the Entire Incident, Yet I really Don’t think that’s the Case. From watching Aiden’s Content on Tik Tok They come of as a Normal User, and by that I mean He isn’t a Social Media “Try Hard”.  Aiden comes off as Your Usual Casual Tok Tok User Who isn’t looking to Become the Next Social Media Star, Influencer, or to have the Next Viral Video. You can spot Try Hards by the almost Desperate Look on Their Faces and How Hard Their Trying to Force some kind of Social Media Success. Well That’s just My Opinion.

            

One of the Curious Things that Aiden mentions in One of Their Tik Tok Videos is a Cult that’s Active in the Elka Park Area. The Cult is an International Community known as Bruderhof and Started in Germany. Since its Inception Bruderhof has Established Small Communities around the Globe Such as New York State, Pennsylvania, New South Wales (Australia), Thuringia (Germany), Asuncion (Paraguay), and London (England). The Bruderhof Members live a Lifestyle Similar to The Amish where Everyone is Equal, No One Gets Paid for the Work They Do, There is No Acknowledgement for Hard Work or Job Well Done, Everyone works for the Benefit of the Community and its Members. Yeah it’s Basically Communism. Aside from Their Deviant Lifestyle the Members of Bruderhof seem for All Intents and Purposes to be Harmless and a Threat To No One.

It then came to Light that WKCR 89.9 FM had suffered an Incident that occurred approximately Twenty Five Years Ago. At the Time WKCR was in Fact Hijacked and the Culprits were Never Found. The Hijackers Played a Disturbing Transmission consisting of Unusual Fuzzy Music that turns into Ear Irritating High Pitch Electronic Sounding Screeching. Next the Screeching Ends a Robotic Voice comes on Reading a List of Names and Various Other information. When You examine What the Voice is Saying is it’s an Obituary List of People Who Have Died (and Surviving Relatives) or Supposedly Will Die. In Spite of the Existing Audio the Hijackers Broadcast there is No Actual Proof that this Hijacking Ever Took Place. There were Zero News Reports, Articles, or Documented Evidence of Any Kind. This hasn’t Stopped Some People from Investigating the Possible Connection between the Two Incidents. As of Now No Connection has been Made. On a Side Note I have a Vague Recollection that FYB did a Post on the Alleged Hijacking Incident but I’m not Positive. If You’re Curious Please Check Out Our Dark Web or Strange and Disturbing Video Section to Find Out for Yourself.

Then Eleven Months Ago there was what Most Consider to be a Big Break in the Crying Man Radio Broadcast Mystery. A Person that Goes by rayn3.schzo1d drew Peoples Attention to a Independent Greek Movie which at the End of Larry Gus’s song “Taxonomies” the Exact Song at the End of the Crying Man Broadcast. At the End of the Movie Suntan the Main Character Breaks down in Tears before “Taxonomies” Plays at the Start of the Credits. Unlike Black Room Soup this Audio is Undeniably Identical including the Footsteps/Running and Tape Sound Aiden Mentioned. Also Coincidentally the Last Scene of Suntan is Four Minutes Long the Exact Same Broadcast Time as The Crying Man Broadcast. Now it’s worth Mentioning that the Main Character in Suntan breaks Down into Tears After Failing to Sexually Assault Someone. Ironically at the End of the Movie the Main Character Drugs and Kidnaps a Woman, but Can’t Assault Her, and The Main Character Tends to Her Wounds while Nursing Her back to Health. While Suntan Doesn’t Fall into the Torture Porn Arena it is Still an Insanely Dark and Disturbing Movie. This Led Many to Speculate that Someone Used a Radio Transmitter that provided Them Access to Any FM Radio Station, and would Allow Them to Play Whatever the fuck They Wanted to.

                      

In the End the Question of Who was Behind the Crying Man Broadcast, and Why would They Opt to Use the Ending Scene of a Hard to Find Independent Greek Film or They could have Broadcast it in its Entirety. If Whoever is Responsible for  Broadcasting the Entire Movie Suntan (which is only Available in Greek) I personally Wonder could it have Something to Do with the Bruderhof Cult? What I Saying is  They are Known to Operate in the Specific Area of Elka Park, and are an International Community with Members from Around the Globe. So Could have some Cult Member Decided to Broadcast the Movie Suntan in its Entirety as a Way to Entertain the Other Bruderhof Cult Members? Could this Simply be a Case of Someone Combating Boredom within Their Community? Alas in the End We more than likely will Never Know the Who or Why behind the Crying Man Broadcast. Anyone Nowadays can Learn How to (and Buy the Equipment Needed to)Hijack a Radio Station, and it’s Even Easier to Run a Pirate Radio Station. This means that Any fucking Local Elka Park Resident could have been Behind the Mysterious Crying Man Broadcast.

Thanks For Reading,

By Les Sober

C Nobody “Brutal Honesty (Featuring Ali)

Welcome to FYB’s Wednesday Post which We are Exceptionally Psyched About to Say the Least. You may or in all do Favor May Not have Noticed We have Mentioned a Musician Known as C Nobody. Though at the Same Time We haven’t Provided any Additional Information as it were (Especially  since We have an FYB Category called Music/Musician).

Well that Changes as of Right fucking Now.

C Nobody is an Extremely Talented Up and Coming Independent Rapper Based Out of Chicago Illinois Who’s Music is Authentic and Doesn’t Pull Any Punches. C Nobody wears His Heart on His Sleeve Unapologetically while He Writes and Rap’s about Personal Experiences instead of the Usual Drivel that People have become Accustomed to Nowadays. All The Mainstream Commercial Rappers all Sound and Look the fucking Same. It’s Almost as If They’re being Manufactured in a Hollywood Music Factory like So Many Clones.  It seems Individuality  has become Alien in a World were the Only Asinine Topics Mainstream Rapper’s Rap about is Limited to Cash, Women, Luxury Cars, Mansions with Pools filled with Models, and a “HEY EVERYONE LOOK AT ME! I’M THE GREATEST THING ON EARTH!” Mentality.  Meanwhile C Nobody uses His Music to Exorcise His Demons, Promote Education about Mental Health Issues, As Therapy in a Society that’s Gone Insane, and to Connect with His Growing Fan Base Letting Them Know They’re Not Alone in the World. C Nobody is Intensely Passionate about His Craft, and is Working Constantly to Improve it while Personally Interacting with His Audience.

Two Weeks Ago C Nobody Started the Promotion of His Latest Track BRUTAL HONESTY which He Planned to Release on Cinco De Mayo which of course was Yesterday (and had been an Unmitigated Success Out Preforming His Previous Tracks to Date). I listen to Brutal Honesty for the First Time (I can’t begin to tell You how many Times I have Listened to it Subsequently) Yesterday while I was Ironically Working on FYB. When Brutal Honesty started it I immediately Sat Up and Took Notice as The Creepy Intro reminds Me of something Out of a Horror Movie. Then C Nobody started Rapping and I Stopped what I was doing Dead in MyTracks, Logged Off FYB, and Shut Down My Laptop as I was completely Enthralled with the Song. To be Truthful I almost Exclusively Listen to Extreme Niche Musical Genres like Death/Black Metal, Grindcore, Underground Punk, Hardcore, Deathcore, and Horrorcore (More Over Brutal Australian Horrorcore such as Suicidal Rap Orgy, Passenger of Shit, and MC Cumblood to Name a Few). So the Fact I had the Same Musical Connection to a Rap Song surprised ME as Much as Anyone Else that’s sure as Shit. If I wasn’t a C Nobody Fan before after Listening to BRUTAL HONESTY I definitely a Full Blown Fan Lock, Stock, and Barrel.

 C Nobody On C Nobody In His Own Words:

“I’m a Chicago artist that goes by C Nobody making music primarily about depression, anxiety and ptsd which I suffer from in hopes it helps others find an outlet, and someone who truly understands and lives it. My Music and My craft is everything to Me, it’s My therapy and purpose in life. My scope of topics to make music about is endless and much much more is coming. Stay tuned.”

NOTE: C Nobody can be Found on Every Streaming Service (Apple, Spotify, Youtube etc.)

Enjoy.

Thanks For Listening,

   Presented By Les Sober  

The Great Unplug 2019

Practically all of lost year/last year, I really contemplated completely cutting myself off from modern technology. Should i go cold turkey with everything? Should i just pick my phone, my pc, my ps4, tablet, wearables, my “crowdfunded” anal device, my tv?

I made a major compromise with myself. I’ve given up most of my basic cable package. Well not given up. I totally had my dad block half my tv channels.

Will i miss them? I can honestly say not one fucking bit. Now sure i have Netflix to fall back on so it’s not a huge sacrifice. I gotta say one thing. It is such a fucking pleasure to not have any clue of what is going on in the world.

Since I was 12 I have been entirely too aware of the world. I grew up way too fast while being too naive and I have insanely varying maturity since.

At 12 i was 40, 16 i was 8, 20 i was 30, 25 i was 50, 30 i was 16 again and now might as well be 80. Anyway the point is not hearing Donald Trump talk (or dems if ur conservative) is some of the best therapy ever. I also feel less 80 which is good but not quite teenager thankfully. Acting 16 is far more natural to me then however the fuck an adult is supposed to act.

I also have given up alcohol for the new year which led to quite the blackout and hurried 940pm liquor store run on new years eve but i digress. I think my liver is happier.

Oh and no more gaming either. Probably the hardest of all. I really thought there would be more creativity but all I’ve been given so far is how many different genres of music over how many different decades can I blast to potentially piss off my neighbors.

I have listened to 700-1000? different artists the past week. I wish i could find a way for spotify to churn them out to a simple file to post. I will never get tired of this. I could seriously spend all day listening to new music and playing model search.

More sacrifice is coming. Will I live? Die? Have a major meltdown? Have an epiphany? Signs point to yes.

Time for me to be 16 again. Framing Hanley is back together and I’m about to drown. Harder. Faster. Louder. Until it’s so loud I’m taken to the show in my dreams. Here in my head.

 By SpaceDog

2 Lunatic’s Late Night Text-A-Rama

Here We go with another behind the scenes glimpse into the Late night conversations via text between SpaceDog and Myself. This Late Night Lunacy leads to numerous Ideas for both Posts and for the Blog in General.

That and Neither of Us can afford a Mental Health Professional aka a Shrink.

And Here We Go:

 It all started when I texted this Pic to SpaceDog.

 

SpaceDog: Is this some kind of penis brainteaser? So apparently there are sneakers now with LCDs in the tongue that can play music videos on a loop.

Les: I found the Pic on some egotistical Art Gallery’s bullshit Website. Holy Shit fuck Air Jordan’s. I’d loop a Musical Porn Montages and play that shit everywhere I go.

+SpaceDog then Texts me a Link for further clarification barstoolsports.com+

Les: Life Beyond Beer Pong?! Lmfao Good game all around.

SpaceDog: I was gonna write an article saying how much i hated Pedro guy from Real World because it was the anniversary of his death, and everyone said nice shit and i literally hated him so much i never watched the show again after.

Les: Ha. Sounds like you should, fuck everyone else’s bullshit.

SpaceDog: I want to actually get people angry though to bring traffic to blog……

Les: Not a bad tactic and a great idea I’m all for pissing people off. The more the merrier. All that shit aside more traffic is what we could use bout now. Where the fuck did all the niche dwellers fuck off too?!!

SpaceDog: My head is so motivated for weeks but my body feels dopesick. At one point I didn’t jack off for 10 days. I honestly think that is the longest I’ve ever gone since like i was 14 before i even knew what my dick was.

Les: 10 days goddamn, Thats really crazy, funny, and true statement.

SpaceDog: Well actually maybe when i was on dope, but that was only because i was fucking my dude in various fats food bathrooms (and woods, us gays do love sex in the woods.)

Les: Its hard to jerk off when you keep nodding off every 5 minutes. The Old banging in Bathrooms an American Sex Classic. Having a Woody in the Woods. Shit that sounds like a gay porn title.

SpaceDog: The sounds of autumn…rancid sperm hitting decaying leaves.

Les: Holy Shit! Lmfao!

SpaceDog: The dead sperm inspired me, new blog Lmfao

Les: DEAD SPERM is My new favorite Band.

SpaceDog: If u can guess what it is about….you win 5 bucks paypal.

Les: My new saying “When faced with Writer’s Block remember dead sperm inspires. $5 for My Ferrari GoFundMe. Hmmm…

SpaceDog: Dead sperm and the smegma seven…i want a big band like George Clinton and The Funkadelics or Arrested Development.

Les: Smegma Seven, whats that a porno remake of The Magnificent Seven which was the American Western remake of 7 Samurais?! Awesome.

SpaceDog: Damn i saw your 3rd fucks. Was it cathartic for you like taking a giant shit. If i could have miracle coffee (or Adderall) right i would seriously put all your fucks in there to see if i could come up with the missing fucks.

Les: Its fucking weird I just think of a couple things I’m all Fuck That, and then its like fucking Autopilot the fucks just start to flow. Honestly there might be a Part 4. Who Knows. Thats why this one was titled “F List Continues Baffling Its Creator” which is nothing but the fucking truth. Or perhaps Adderall in your coffee. That be truly awesome if you could/did. Shit I wouldn’t personally it be too much even for me. Saw your Tweet Very Cool.

SpaceDog: The one from 10 seconds ago or the rambling list of musicians that will never play together. I think if i had like 19 pieces of paper i could do it. Oh wait it’s 2018 we have computers.

les: The on that started “There’s a lot of  shit on f-yourblog.com Lmfao. Then you wrote something about healing yourself with music. True these damned Digital Type Writers are rather amazing.

 I then texted this picture to SpaceDog

SpaceDog: U made that? Thats filthy.

Les: Unfortunately not. I saw it and it did remind me of some of My shit which is why I get a real kick out of it. When I look at it it makes Me laugh like a motherfucker.

SpaceDog: I need to find a good dick pic for u. I owe u like 20 penii

Les: I uploaded it today to the Blog for future use Lmfao.

SpaceDog: D***

Les: At least 20. D***?

SpaceDog: So the autocorrect suggests dick and 1000 things way worse. Yet when i do the talk to text it censors me.

+SpaceDog texted Me the Mushroom Emoji followed by The Egg Plant.+

Les: Thats SO FUCKED, it fucking censored you thats fucking balls. Your on Shrooms and have an Erection?!

SpaceDog: I couldn’t find tiny hands that mighta worked.

Les: For What?! Some sort of Pedophile Emoji Code, I’m Lost.

+I then texted SpaceDog the New Bizarre Smiley Face Emoji+

SpaceDog: Idk I’m just still frustrated i don’t think theres an emoji for anal.

Les: WTF is this New Emoji supposed to fucking represent exactly?! I can’t believe no one has put out X Rated Emojis yet for fucks Sake or Weed Ones either. Its a Life Alert Emoji it means Help me I’m having a fucking Stroke! It could be what an Emoji looks like when it cums.

SpaceDog: Omg the new life alert commercial is funny as shit. Im gonna look for a dirty emoji APK right now.

Les: Motherfucking Life Alert, Can’t say the classic tag line its fucking Trademarked now even though they don’t use it in their ads anymore. Good for You happy hunting.

SpaceDog: Im down i don’t need it to find accounts on mu device and modify my sd card for the sake of a few titties.

Les: Yeah fuck all that Bullshittery. I wouldn’t bother either fuck and that.

SpaceDog: Apks are great let u bypass the store on android but idk how the fuck to fix my phone….Wow i found a porno sounding chick on Spotify…the first 8-12 seconds are passable but now my ears might be bleeding.

Les: Ah Ha! A fucking Loophole.

SpaceDog: I almost don’t want to link it until u piss me off somehow.

Les: Her musica gota real porno vibe that fucking funny. Good to be prepared I suppose.

SpaceDog:Well she’s in the bed according to the lyrics and fuck me is a lyric. Sounds like the equivalent of a dj scratching a record but it sounds more like chalk on a blackboard.

Les: My username on Spotify is !@#$%^&*()_+ figured that shit out. That’s about it so fucking far.

SpaceDog: I guess this chick cancels out Maggie Rogers, i don’t think i have seen an authentic hippie chick with talent ever (at least not a millennial one)

Les: Me either. Who is Maggie Rogers?!

SpaceDog: Lights on…..shes some chick sol discovered. I almost dropped my were when i first was listening cuz i expected it to be trash. She has a bit of a stevie nicks vibe but looks more like a pretty, less skank, stoned janis Joplin.

Les:Damn gotta be damn decent to make a man drop his weed. Nice combo more power to her.

SpaceDog: Haha oh look bohemian rhapsody is charting for the 190 millionth different decade.

Les: 37 new Fucks to be listed now. Bohemian Rhapsody WILL NEVER DIE! Just like fucking Stairway To Heaven or Areosmith’s Dream On.

SpaceDog: Fuck Spotify for making me add 60 new artists i like overtime i listen more than 3hrs at once…theres 38.

Les: Some shit lingers like a stale fart. 38 it is. Spotify has that fucking effect.

SpaceDog: Remember when we used to actually have to talk to other people for bands or actually go to shows or have some dickhead at record exchange push some bullshit.

Les: Oh fuck yeah I remember the pre tech music World.

SpaceDog: I do just not the brief period between the end of napster and the beginning of youtube. I was way too fucking high.

Les: The Assholes at the Record Exchange were a bunch of pompous ass condescending cunts. I think we’re in the same boat with being high and timelines.

SpaceDog: All I remember about then was avril lavigne. I really think that was like 1 of every 3 songs played on the radio for those years or maybe she used to make me nod out…she kinda looked like a teenager junkie.

Les: Avril Motherfucking Lavigne. Radio replay rotations killed Radio. She was the original Tween Musical Artist.

SpaceDog: Yeah theres like 2 tolerable stations here. The rest cause me suicide watch.

Les: The only Radio listen too is in My Wife’s car which has Satellite Radio which cursing and lack of commercials aside rally isn’t a hell of a lot better than regular Radio. I haven’t been able to find a Rock Station in over 10 fucking years for crying out fucking loud. Cunty Country Music Awards.

SpaceDog: The one station is still alive believe it or not here. WMMR. Pierre Robert still there too. She has the one lyric “I don’t know who you are but I’m with you.” I made out in the back seat with some stranger lady twice my age because it fit the lyrics.

Les: holy fuck stick, WMMR is still around good for them. Pierre Robert has to be 150 by now goddamn. You were on When Cougar Attack!!

SpaceDog: I’ve had several. LOL

Les: That lyric nowadays sound like the average Trump Supporters. Blind Ignorant Lemming Twats that they are. Several?! DAMN you’ve been on fucking Safari and shit.

SpaceDog: This one was consent at least. I had some midget lady who looked like the one in kindergarten cop try to follow blow me. Except i was passed out in a chair LOL

Les: A real fucking legit midgit?! Thats like trying to play Pool with a Limp Rope.

Les: where there any Senior Citizen Sluts?! After the midget I fucking have to ask. Poor Little Lady was denied the dick.

SpaceDog: She was like 50 LOL, there were a senior slut who blacked out, fucked some guy she had no clue of, and left her teeth there.

Les: LMFAO!! She fucking left her fucking teeth there, well good news id I hear gum jobs are amazing. I accidentally fucked a 89 year old woman once. She got confused and wondered into the MEn’s room at the fucking Mall when I was jerking off in one of the stalls. Anyway She busted in on me, thought I was they Bathroom Attendant,dropped Her drawers, and sat down to use the Toilet. I freaked the fuck out and started yelling at Her, but She was weak as shit so She’d try to stand the hell up only to fall back down on my dick. Worst part of it all was She pissed all over my balls. LMFAO (is that wrong?!) Fuck the American Pie pussies I have that gross humor that will make People actually dry heave.

SpaceDog: Thats funny as fuck. That type of comment exactly makes me wish that old people comedy with david allan grier and wiki lawrence was on anything but network tv.

Les: Just some weird imagery that popped into My fucking head the rest wrote itself. The pissing on My balls makes Me laugh like hell not sure why.

+My phone rings and its SPaceDog but it rang once and stopped+

SpaceDog: Sry idk how that happened. Yeah thats when it got my tbh.

Les: That’s cool, I can’t talk on the phone which pisses Me off to no end, but My Wife is sleeping and on Puppy Duty. And with these insanely high as wannabe Cathedral ceiling We got here its goddamn impossible to avoid an echo of some sort which ironically also pisses Me Off when I’m on the Phone most of the fucking time anyway.

SpaceDog: It (his phone) thought the couch was my head.

Les: It’s a Short Bus SmartPhone.

SpaceDog: I guess i had my ass there and it was warm and it thought it was my face.

Les: Well they’re called Ass Cheeks so….

SpaceDog: OK now Im legit putting my phone on my ass to see what happens. Oops i have no ass…no call. Not even bare ass cheek works…it only likes hot ass.

Les: Awesome, all in the name of SCIENCE! Shit I figure Bare Ass would have worked.What about if you put it under your balls?! Just drape those bitches on the phone. Might work.

SpaceDog: Yeah maybe if i wasn’t on my stomach laying down my ass would more resemble a face cheek. How about in my rectum, then if i don’t text u back but only send you back repeated emojis u do the same for me since my phone is on vibrate? Thanks.

Les: Just type by squeezing Your Ass Cheeks together like some fucked up Morse Code. Sure if it works I got your back. Do the Emojis have to make sense because if they’re just random I’ll be honest I might cheat and stick it in My Dog’s ass.

SpaceDog: Ok so i really thought it would if i stuck it off to the side of my ball sack but neither side worked.

Les: GODDAMNIT! Oh well Phone wins. All that’s left is to try Tainting it. Not sure how that would work though.

SpaceDog: Yeah now that i am rubbing myself down with the phone like it’s a metal detector wand i think the show is over.

Les: I’m so fucking Posting this tomorrow. Like a fucking Metal Detector LMFAO Brilliant.

SpaceDog: I went in from the back on the taint. And it made my font big like i have a fucking jitterbug and am 90.

Les: Did it work and if not try doing it again in reverse this time.

SpaceDog: And it keeps telling me voice input is unavailable.

Les: It enlarged the font, that’s fucking insanely amusing.

SpaceDog: I gotta hit the front bar.

Les: Voice Input Unavailable BOO to that BULLSHIT.

SpaceDog: Ok i did the back again. I almost taint dialed someone.

Les: Getting Closer, Progress is being made. If it works and someone answers just scream “TALK TO MY TAINT” and hang the fuck up,

SpaceDog: Pits

Les: That works I suppose as well.

SpaceDog: Pits not active…..the smelly one nor the distinguished one. Anywhere else?

Les: No I’m pretty sure I’m out of ideas at this point. The Genitals were really my Wheel House. Lmfao.

SpaceDog: Yeah my taint is a lot more talkative then i would have thought, and blind.

Les: Blind I would expect, a talkative Taint indeed.

SpaceDog: Oooooh I’m a fat fuck imma try side boob.

Les: The Taint Factor Winner for 2018 is Gus Gifferson with a Record breaking 10 inch Taint.

Spacedog: Q9q SP.p .o

Les: Side Boob CLASSIC. Q9q. Sp.p .o I believe it’s ALIVE!

SpaceDog: The first was the right boob. the app was the left. Left boob also is blind. Font big again.

Les: Interesting. So the enlarged font is reoccurring you say. So Your saying Your right Boob can see?! As if instead of a nipple You grew a fucking eyeball? Still worked blind or not.

SpaceDog: I wish you and your wife were here i was gonna have her test it with her lady parts but then i realized my dan is on this phone and if she stuck it in her after me that might be 9th degree rape in some states. Why Stop?

Les: Valid point I don’t need a 9th degree Rape Baby on My hands thank you.

SpaceDog: That was my mid chest then me saying what and stop because my tv went to steve harvey and i hate that guy.

Les: NEVER SHALL WE STOP!

SpaceDog My phone is strictly dicktly anywhere after tonight.

Les:I know You added him to the second Fucks list. Strictly Dicktly?!

SpaceDog: Yeah bad memory some queen used to say that in the 90’s. I always wanted to punch him.

Les: Don’t fucking blame You there I would have too. I’d say pondering sticking My phone in a Kangaroo’s pouch to see if it works accept I’d end up arrested and charged with molesting a fucking Kangaroo or some goddamn thing like that.

SpaceDog: As long as i didn’t have to stick it in a joey.

Les: LMFAO! Crackhead Man Whore Junkies Need Not Apply.

SpaceDog: I meant the baby kangaroo but I’ve been joey free since those ten guys in my 20’s who kinda had no name.

Les: I mean we could shove the phone into some Junkies access they got from shooting up so much shit and see if that works. I know what You meant No Worries I just saw an opening so I took it. The Nameless 10.

SpaceDog: I will stick it halfway in tomorrow at some point. I need to prepare for that and I Zombie. SpaceDog and the 10 ancient queers of the earth. The short form is 9 Blackouts and a broken toilet.

Les: LMFAO EXCELLENT. !0 Ancient Queers, Short Form, I Zombie.

That Ended That Night Transmission.

Brought to You By,

 SpaceDog & Les Sober   

Texting In The Eye of The Shiticane

Once again I find myself having to Apologize. Repeatedly in Our continuing attempt to raise f-yourblog.com up to its full potential have suffered another self induced delay. Well what can We say other than We fucked up, BUT We are working diligently to defuckulate the situation.

As it were We had f-yourblog.com had the offer of a lifetime so passing on it wasn’t even considered and option. Thus We have been away somewhere across The Pond for the last 10 days being Spoiled like motherfuckers. I’ll leave it at that for now as it will be covered in a Piece to be posted in the immediate future.

As soon as I was Stateside I texted SpaceDog and preceded to have yet another of Our Legendary Texting Sessions, and This One Made The Cut.

So without further ado I give you TEXTING IN THE EYE OF THE SHITICANE:

SpaceDog: Oh Shit were u in Italy? I think that’s where u told me u were going at one point. Oh you missed it a 120 minute trump shitshow press conference. Highlights include him saying Democrats are gonna dig up dirt on george washington and that the world at the UN was laughing with him not at him (complete with nonsensical 10 minute explanation)

Les: Yeah We were in Tuscany. 120 minute trump conference…did Hell freeze over while I was gone?! Did hear trump got his fat orange ass laughed outnof the UN LMFAO!!! So officially the entire fucking world is mocking the shit out of trump while laughing right in his fucking face!!!

SpaceDog: Fuck u diane lane. I mean nice. Nah he was talking a lot of crazy all week cuz the UN came to NY.

Les: We should lock the White House down like a CDC Drill, pump it full of MDMA through the AC Vents and let the GOPieces of Shit rape the shit out of each other to death. Problem Solved.  MDMA or Flakka Smoke. MDMA is too good for those fuckers! BATH SALTS IT IS!! That way the scumfuckers can eat each others faces while violently raping each other’s orifices beyond Surgical Reconstruction. LMMFAO

SpaceDog: Yeah bath salts. Maybe flake for trump so he’s also disfigured as he’s getting eaten. OK I’ve taken matters into my own hands.

Les: Seriously who the fuck goes to Medical School and decides to be a fucking Proctologist or Urologist?! I mean its the actual shittiest/ pissiest job of fucking medical Professionals?!!

SpaceDog: I’ve been deleting games and quitting games from my phone and computer so far taking me 2 hours. Trying to give all my shit away so i have no desire to fucking play.

Les: Someone’s parents happy about that? Like do they go to cocktail parties and brag their asses off about their wonderful son The Rectologist Ass Doctor OR do they just leave the Ass Doctor part out and just refer to their kid as Doctor?! DAMN.

SpaceDog: IDK maybe someone that likes seeing a lot of dick, but idk its not like u are seeing good dick. I mean i guess u are comparing best case scenario for dick and all i guess.

Les: That’s dedication to the cause. 2 hours of deleting shit?! You sure you don’t work for the government? LOL!

SpaceDog: Like maybe one day u see someone 60 and say we;; I’m glad my balls may only sag a little bit and do not touch my knees. Yeah hillary had me delete some emails. It was mainly 90 minutes in one game mindlessly donating tokens.

Les: DICK WARS on FOX this Fall!

SpaceDog: Then finding  all the games in hidden places on my computer like a 14 year old with porn magazines or a guy trying to hide booze from the wife.

Les: So what finally made you want to get out of gaming? At 60 I’m tucking my testicles into my knee socks.

SpaceDog: Because I’ve been doing it 10-12 hours a day for 6 years.

Les: 90 minutes thats kinda hardcore.

SpaceDog: I keep going to all kinds of anonymous meetings and they tell me its not a problem even though I’ve told 3 different sponsors (recent) and 11 in total over the course of my life.

Les: LMFAO! BOOZE! PORN MAGS!

SpaceDog: Makes me think if dammer ever went to AA or NA they would say “Well as long as you are not drinking and reading the big book I really don’t see any issue with you eating a few boys every once in awhile.

Les: I apologize I haven’t smoked in 9-10 days and my Wife got CHinses Food so I’m all fucking over the fucking fuck

SpaceDog: No ganja in Tuscany? Haha i had Chinese today i think the greasy ass egg roll threw me into a rage.

Les: I looked into where you can get it and like America either you know a fucking guy or find a guy that knows a fucking guy. They said students and places with a younger demographic areas were where to look. That though is just painfully fucking obvious. Italy does sell legal “Marijuana Light” called so because of its fucking low ass THC level.

SpaceDog: The O’douls of Reefer

Les: Bullseye!

SpaceDog: I guess Amsterdam or Portugal would be better, actually even Canada is better.

Les: Its low as fuck all compared to the killer shit America is growing now a days and shit. People called it “fake weed” and complained about it giving them headaches and shit.

SpaceDog: I mean the cheapest legal place is Uruguay but I’d be scarred I’d get abducted there. Yeah if its from a machine its bound to be crap.

Les: Yeah I do love weed but not even I am going fucking anywhere near Africa, fucking everything in Africa fucking kills you. There was a store that was faker than fuck called CANNABIS that I looked into after hearing a ton of people shit talking it. Everything says Marijuana on it BUT ITS CBD ONLY, no THC whatsofuckingever. Its a classic fucking bait and switch false advertising scam.

SpaceDog: Uruguay is in South Africa but Africa yeah 1000 x’s over i don’t wanna go there. Maybe Casablanca if i can go back in time to when the movie was made or ancient Egypt but fuck current Africa. Oh whoopee do LOL! Thought i did almost buy gummies with CBD and melatonin but the dude wanted $30.

Les: Its all derived from the same fucking plant, but these cunters where misleading people by making them think they’d get a buzz, but it was just CBD your not getting Amsterdam Merch Here.

SpaceDog: Oh yeah so i may be quitting beer specifically because that entitled douchbag supreme said he really liked beer 15-20 x’s during his hearing. Maybe i will start the red wine. That’s the only booze i projectile vomit. That’s always fun.

Les: Kavanaugh is a complete CUNT, that fuck is getting raped by Hitler in Hell the fucking piece of living breathing fucking shit. CASTRATE KAVANAUGH! Cut his rotten cock off. AND NOW the rancid pecker fucker ruined BEER?!! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. Is there any fucking thing Trump and his GOPieces of Shit don’t fucking shit all over for fucking fucks sake. Waterboard that Supreme Court Cunt with Natty ICE till he’s fucking deader than dead the asshole deserves it. Well if you gotta vomit projectile is the best way to go I believe.

SpaceDog: All things projectile is better except when you jazz past your face and have no idea where the wad landed.

Les: Who the fuck green lit Murphy fucking Brown 2018?! How the fuck is Candice Bergeron not dead as fuck?!

SpaceDog: Out of all the reboots (including Fuller House) it is by far the worst.

Les: Thats why I where a face mask when I jerk off.

SpaceDog: I fell asleep 3 different nights trying to watch.

Les: Yeah but unlike typically rebooted shit their continuing it like it never went off the air or some fuckshit, I mean Candice looks like a blonde Liza Minelli. Botox Bombed out Blound. I guess 45 to 50 fucking facelifts at least, and she still is older than fuck, and not that mush better looking in spite of the gross amount of Plastic Surgery. No one remembers that fucking show so in the end who fucking cares?! LMMFBO!

SpaceDog: They should remake this horrible show. Watch “Dangerous Women TV Show Intro” on Youtube. I vaguely remember my parents watching it and it not being very funny. Not the women murphy brown not so funny.

Les: Yeah it was all political as shit. “The Series Return” that’s how fuck me Fox is billing this Bullshattery.

SpaceDog: Only one I’m honestly glad returned from the dead is Will and Grace since no one seems to be in much of a hurry to do it. Christ sometimes i think I’m gonna have to do it myself. Though that Australian show with the gay guy was good. The Stuff nightmares are made of. It’s like they sewed together the faces of all the dead Golden Girls to remake hers.

Les: I think bringing back Will and Grace would definitely be interesting shit. TV has become boring as shit. I’d especially like to see it comeback under your direction. That be entertaining.

SpaceDog: Its been back gonna be year 2 this year.

Les: What Australian Show was that?! I must have missed that one? Getting older is a shit reason for being absent minded. What Really?! Dear fucking Christ on a cocking where the fuck have I been? Oh wait living under a fucking rock apparently.

SpaceDog: Please Like Me…..i think it’s on HULU. The main guy is gay but thats mostly it besides the guys he dates. It was on the networks on some weird channel i never heard of that got axed.

Les: Cool I just scored my Brother’s HULU password so GAME FUCKING ON!

SpaceDog: Do u use IMDB? If i sign up for an account, do you know if i can get alerted to when actors/actresses have new projects coming out? Like how Spotify tells me about albums and concerts.

Les: Sounds like one of those shows ahead of its time and shit so at the time the general moronic public couldn’t understand it and it met an untimely demise.

SpaceDog: Yeah its pretty fucking dark sarcasm humor not all daisies and bullcrap.

Les: I’m not even sure I can recollect what the hell IMDB is, I’m the Technology Anti-Christ or some shit.

SpaceDog: Internet movie database

Les: Dark Sarcasm I’m in.

SpaceDog: I see one hot guy in one movie and i cyberstalk everything they’ve been in.

Les: I really wish I knew of this database much fucking sooner.

SpaceDog: And drunk tweet them and shame delete in the morning.

Les: LMFBO! Shame Delete!!

SpaceDog: I just assumed everyone knew. I’ve been on the internet since AOL.

Les: Think we have all but been there. I’m a Techtard. I’m always having to fucking catch the hell up LMTB!

SpaceDog: The biggest “celeb” that responded was the sprint/Verizon guy. Can u hear me now? Trump would say thats bigly sad.

Les: That be trump for you that fat orange fucktard, that baby dick having bitch boy, could he want to fuck his daughter any more?!! The fat filthy son of a bitch scumfucking scumfucked scumfucker scumfuck! ORANGE WANK MAGGOT! I can’t WAIT to shit on Trump’s fucking grave. I’m talking downing Exlax like Beer before hand and a German Industrial Institutional Grade Enema on Site.

+I sent SpaceDog one of those Personalized Emojis that fucking look like you. It’s one of the really fucking random shit that just appears from time to time. Its Me holding the 50 pound Shit Emoji thats as big as my Avatars fucking head. And not only does the Shit Emoji have the classic Smile and Wide Eyes but this one has a bright pink ribbon on top. My avatars head is slightly tilted with a slight smile that makes me look like a fucking sociopath.+

Les: WTF is this emoji for?! I had to wait a fuck long time for an opening anyfuckingwhere to use this absurd fucking thing.

SpaceDog: Idk 1) when i tell you that may fiber is working? 2) I just gave someone Benefiber recently maybe then? 3) can’t wait to shit on your face 40 text it to the Wife immediately before you give her a Dutch Oven.

Les: It looks like I came to your house, rang your fucking doorbell, and then presented you with a 50 pound pile of shit emoji like some fucking welcome to the neighborhood type shit cake or perhaps its a congratulatory “Its a Girl” new born baby gift?! Or just plain old pile of shit thats as big as my fucking head with a bow on the bitch to make it what a fucking present?! IT FUCKING DOESN’T ADD UP BABYCAKES! #3 Winner Winner Chicken Dinner! Second Place #4.

SPaceDog: Third place i shit so hard your toilet is clogged u need a plumber. They need a guy with his asscrack showing emoji.

Around this Time Gorged on Opulent amounts of Chinese Take Out, and High as a fucking Kite I fell the fuck asleep so sue me. And thus concludes this installment of Les and SpaceDog’s Textology.

 

By Les Sober & SpaceDog 

Textpocalypse

More middle of the night synaptic storms rolling through the maze like minds of SpaceDog and Myself. Here is the abominable textversation that took place while the rest of the World Slept.

Enjoy.

(If you Read Further You May Have to EAT your own ASS to Survive.)

SpcaeDog: I wanted to ask you about sports bets but im clearly not being too persistent since you dont like sports

Les: Hey let me hit you up in a few. At post office trying to get my passassport updated and shit. Taking waaaaay too long in my opinion. I find Sports betting very interesting.

SpaceDog: Look at u ihop hooker I will be ur bookie lmfao

+SpaceDog texts me a picture on images.google of a Tennis Player who ass he is a fan of, and was wondering if I or my Wife had 2 cents to add. I said if I had an ass like that I’d be better at soccer. My Wife is not an “Ass Person” we were informed.+

+I sent back a Screen Shot I took of Twitter’s fucking Template Warning that my account had been locked, and because I “exhibited unusual behavior that violates Twitter Rules……”+

+I then sent a picture of Alex “Asshole” Jones because while all other social media platforms (i.e. FaceBook, Apple etc) banned Alex and his bullshit Infowhores Show (for promoting hate, encouraging violence, promoting fake news, spreading conspiracies like Sandy Hook was a Hoax and the Kids weren’t victim’s they were paid child actors) Twitter refused at that point to Ban Jones.

Ironically since then Twitter has banned Jones from Twitter and Periscope which it owns, ONLY AFTER ALEX HARASSED THE HOLY LOVING SHIT out of  Twitter’s CEO Jack Dorsey outside of the Senate Hearing  proceedings screaming shit like the mental patient he is about whatever bullshit was on his deranged mind.+

Fuck Alex “The Asshole Jerk Off” Jones, BACK TO THE MAFUCKIN TWEETS!

SpaceDog: Here’s a song for you! My My My! by Troyne Sivian. (SD then texted a Spotify Link to the song) Mac Miller died omg

Les: So did Burt Reynolds any relation to Ryan?! Who’s Mac Miller? Charging Landline, cell is cutting in and out like a bitch.

SpaceDog: Mac Miller omg lol there was gonna be a link but yolo lol

Les: I have all of his albums downloaded on my Spotify Account. 26.

SpaceDog: Yo i need to ask u who just drove me around here lol

Les: Yo Shorty yo knows who dat

SpaceDog: U knows my piece

Les: I been break dancing old school 80’s as a tribute to Mac Miller

SpaceDog: U know it might not be that bad. you were the best i ever had

Les: The Wallflowers yeah?

SpaceDog: Lmfao good man

Les: JACOB “SPERM OF BOB” DILLIAN (Dylan?) Whatever.

SPaceDog: Sperm of the last rock n roll mouth that had a good cock come out. Call job away.

+SpaceDog then texts me a picture of Frosty The Snowman sitting on a couch watching porn, and jerking off. It said “Dreaming of a White Christmas”+

+I then texted SpaceDog This: +

SpaceDog: Sry I hit wrong hate.

+I responded by sending SpaceDog a GIF of an Old Pissed Off Cartoon Man, Naked, Partially Flying-Partially Humping his way through Space with a Pop Tart covering his Junk and a Rainbow Shooting Continuously Shooting out of his ass.+

(NOTE TO READER: Earlier on in the evening during a phone call with SpaceDog I had mentioned some weird shit about when I turn 80 I’m going to automatically Gay.)

Les: Me at 80 and Gay as FUCK.

SpaceDog: Lol holy shit shit

Les: I had to buy this shit called Itchibon Ball Baum cuz I was shitting in the Woods, and my Ball Bag rubbed up against some poison Oak. Greeeeaaaaseeeeyyyy.

SpaceDog: Xid rt y. Urdy. Dirty Birdy lol.  Id love to write an f-yourblog about racial bullshit but idc because he white and been dead to me for 10 yeses.

Les: So fucking what about it? I’m confused as fuck currently. When I was shitting in the Woods a Group of Ticks crawled up my Ass Crack and started feeding by locking onto my Asshole. I had to floss my ass with a Pet Anti-Flea and Tick Collar.

SpaceDog: Ihj my my my

Less: Like a fucking Pesticide G String or some fucked up shit like that!

SpaceDog: Here’s a song for you…My My My! by Troye Sivan (SpaceDog texts me the Spotify link again)

Les: Got Chemical Burns on my goddamn butthole.

SpaceDog: Whyis tour. Utthile top 10 (SpaceDOg then texts a screen shot from Spotify’s screen for Sivan’s My My My)

Les: Sexy Shit. Gave me a boner, I’m gay now.

SpaceDog: oh babe sned me a forever stiff latex cocks its what us lesbos have. Lol huh?

Les: So Good, FO SHO FO SHO

SpaceDog: Oh have the gay i will have the cock

Les: FUCKING SPORTS! GO GAMECOCKS or just GO COCKS!

SpaceDog: The only games you Sout Cacalacy  know are the ones your cock play with ur anus. Go Auburn. ok danny boy haha

Les: Why are Chaos Magicians Such Assholes? Goddamn Google has an entry that fucking literally says that shit. WTF now Internet WTF NOW?!

+I then texted SpaceDog a Picture of a close up of some Woman lifting her skirt with a smiling Justin Beiber face covering her Vagina that reads “Justin Beaver+

SpaceDog: The only woman that hate u sing so lets swim into the show of ivy and let our rel3vquce ring.

Les: Justin Bieber bangs Bovines dirty Cow Fucker

SpaceDog: Thats it my boy thats it my friend we sing this song to ivy she falls to her end.

Les: S-A-V-A-G-E …Ivy what?!

SpaceDog: I tried to call with these words to see if your ivied face had been preserved but you werent my lover not my friend she’d killed you lil your dead heart bled.

Les: Rad

SpaceDog:Oh the south she bleeds icy gets at her kneeeeeees

Les: LmMfao!

SpaceDog: Song just crazy. Raised by far and praise by 5A breeze by 5555555 a brace by for a for Raid 5 hey Girl. Sorry our butter and our jam is getting confused i just my putang tout u in the rouse.

Hey u want a q better choice. Bye. I hope u like your life lol wherever he stands our truth is ib my text. Mohammed my friend my bot and jbow jt eas a girl…vack in Bethlehem bye love.

Les: I’m so using this shit as a blog post coming up soon for fucking sure. Abortions all Around. Muhammad is a Bot LMFBO! CLASSIC!

SpaceDog: Its a sham

Les: Sham Wow?

SpaceDog: Shaw wow cocaine teenage dream. Brooklynn bo ram Botox baby boom boomer. No seems….

#This is the point in the textversation where I think its safe to assume our Dear Friend and My Partner in Crime more than likely passed out.

My brain was still on fire so I just continued on.

Les:Sham Wow Hookers AND Cocaine Baby! The Ball Baum came in contact with the Chemical Burns on my butthole ant it spontaneously Combusted, and now I have 3rd degree burns on my asshole.

Ancient Chinese Proverb: Man who sleeps with itchy ass wakes up with stinky finger.

A round of Finger Fucking for All. Can you fuck a Prolapsed asshole because that shit should be a fucking porn fetish/YouPorn Category. WTF is up with this Docking shit anyways?!

I was wiping my ass and my finger broke through the toilet paper and the tip of my finger grazed my asshole, does that make me gay?!

If your gay and horny and there only women around why not just fuck one in the ass?!

Is Necro Cannibalism better or worse than Necrophilia?! For NEcrophiliacs are Zombies a Deal Breaker?! Just when it comes to NEcrophiliacs the Deader the Better right. Zombie Babies don’t want to suckle your teat they want to EAT IT.

Giving Birth is like the fucking movie “Aliens” a small, bloody, slime covered living creature tears out of your genitals screaming like a son of a bitch. But worse because of the whole genitals over stomach shit.

If I’m Self Employed can I sue myself for Sexual Harassment?! What if you got a restraining order against yourself, I mean how would that shit work exactly I ask you?!

AT this point I was running on intoxicated fumes and quite texting in favor of Smoking Weed and then Sleep.

Brought to You By,

Les Sober & SpaceDog