Tag: Stephen King

We Bought a Clown Off The Dark Web (A Luxury Dark Double Feature)

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring a WE BOUGHT A CLOWN OFF THE DARK WEB! and WE BOUGHT ANOTHER CLOWN OFF THE DARK WEB by the Content Creating Duo Channel Luxury Dark Inc. that are Oddly Entertaining in Our Opinion. Now Luxury Dark’s Formula is Pretty fucking Simplistic Two Teen Friends Chester and Parker who live Together Buy all kinds of Weird fucking shit Off the Dark Web. In this Installment Chester and Parker are Back in the Basement Surfing the Dark Web for Shits and Giggles. As these Video Go the Chester has Stumbled across Some Strange Dark Web Site in this case Buy-A-Clown Site, and as Always Parker is Vocally Against It. Though We all know by Now that No Matter how much Parker Protests Chester will get His Way.

Now as for the “Psycho Killer Clown” Genre of Horror You have everything from the Cheesy Killer Clowns From Outer Space to the Psychological Horror of Stephen King’s Killer Clown Classic IT to the Over the Top Bloody Gore of Art The Clown in the TERRIFIER Movies. As Far as Today’s 2 Videos are concerned the “Killer” Dark Web Clowns actually aren’t Too Shabby all things Considered. What I mean is these are a Couple of Short and Absurd YouTube Videos by a Couple of Teenage YouTubers (as Opposed to a Full Blown Feature Film Production). The Clowns definitely Keep it on the Creepier Side of Things, YET They manage, Barely at Times mind You, to Avoid Doing a Shitty Pennywise Impersonation. What is a Definite Plus is the Dark Web Clowns Dialogue is Kept to a Strict Minimum which Helps. The Last thing anyone wants to fucking watch is an Actors Slipping into a Cliche Evil Clown Impersonation which let’s Face It is Lame as fuck.

It is What it Is,

 Presented By Les Sober

Karlmayer

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring KARLMAYER which is Yet Another Unknown Oddity that has Washed Up on Our Beach. No One seems to know a fucking thing about Who Posted It, Why They Posted It, Or What the fuck it’s Supposed to mean. So essentially its Insanity without Context.

WHAT WE FOUND:

  • The Video was Uploaded in May of 2008.
  • The Music is the Distorted High Pitch Child’s Laughter that Rapes Your Ear Drums Mercilessly so Heads the fuck up There.
  • The Only Real Piece of Actual Information lies in the Videos Description Which Simply Translates to the Name Karl Mayer. Karl Mayer was a German General Staff Officer who Introduced Hitler to Politics. And We all know How that Turned Out so Officially from FYB Fuck Him.

Video Run Down:

  • The Video Starts with the Illustration of Two Children that look Oddly Alien.
  • There Various Pictures of Flowers that Change Color, Distort, Morph, and Pulsate.
  • At the 46 Second Mark there is 2 Pictures of Pennywise from the Original TV Mini Series “IT” Not the Movie Remake/Reboot/Rewhatfuckingever You want to Call it.
  • More fucked up Flower Shit.
  • At the 1:13 Minute Mark there is a Close Up of What appears to be Some Child looking Doll Eyes.
  • Approximately at the 2:00 Mark the Video Takes a Dark Turn. The Video becomes More Distorted and Darker as the Abrasive Audio ramps Up Some.
  • Random Photos for Example a Thin John Wayne Gacy looking Clown and a Picture of the Actual Karl Mayer, and Then BACK TO THE FUCKING FLOWERS.
  • Then the Random Pictures and Flowers Mixed Together featuring such Random Images as An Old School Opera House, Pennywise again, some sort of Tunnel (possibly Subway), Ocean, and a Repeat of the Random Sky Shot from Earlier.

 

It is What It Is,

Presented By Les Sober

Short Horror Film Friday: Tea Time

Hello it is I Otto and I have been given the task of this week’s installment of Short Horror Film Friday. For this week’s selection after much deliberation I chose TEA TIME (2007) Directed by Erik Deutschman. Tea Time was filmed on a single Super-8 cartridge, edited in camera, shot in sequence, and with only a single take per shot. The Film was originally made for an Los Angeles film event called: “Attack of the 50 Foot Reels”.

The deciding factor for My selection was I feel Tea Time a true 50/50 representation of the two separate schools of horror that Les and Justine subscribe to. Les is definitely from the psychological school of horror welcoming the devils and demons into his head to rape his mind with madness. Justin on the other hand favors more violent, blood soaked, gore driven splatter films from the school of more visceral horror. Thus Considering Tea Time has elements of both Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho, and Stephen King’s The Shinning (not to mention the soundtrack that continues to eerily distort as the film plays out) made it the perfect selection for this week.

Synopsis:

On a quiet sunny day an elderly woman prepares some afternoon tea for her and her husband, but things are far grimmer than they appear.

Presented By:

 Otto Rageous

I Know That’s An Insult But What The Hell Does It Mean?!

I recently had the Pleasure of Rewatching the Classic 1983 Horror Movie Christine which is Based on a Stephen King. Now one of the Unique things about the Movie that has Always stuck with Me as Being Odd as fuck it a Particular Insult that is Used in It. The Insult in Question is the Word Shitter when used to Describe People and Not Toilets.

Now for Those Who may Not be Aware or Remember here is a Very Brief Summary of the Movie.  Arnie Cunningham was a Nerdy Nobody until He is Compelled to Restore an American Classic Car named Christine . What Arnie is Unaware of is This Car is Cursed with a Will to Kill anyone Who gets Between Arnie and Her Unfortunately for Arnie Christine Transforms Him from Steve Urkel into a Hostile, Foul Mouthed Asshole with an Eat Shit Attitude. In Case You haven’t seen the Movie I won’t talk about the Ending.

The Main Character is the Primary User of the “Shitter” Insults in the Movie, and Here are the Insults Quoted from the Movie.

  • The Cranky Old Bastard Who Sells Arnie the Car (and WHo’s Brother Died in It) While talking to Arnie’s Best Friend Dennis: “No Shitter came Between Him and Christine.”
  • Arnie to Dennis while They are taking a Joy Ride in Christine: “A Toast, Death to the Shitters of the World in 1979.”
  • During the Same Joy ride Arnie also says to Dennis: “”… We’ll always be Friends as long as You Stick With Me You know what Happens to Shitters that Don’t.”
  • Dennis asks Arnie During the Joy Ride after His Previous Comment about Remaining Friends: “Who are the Shitters?” (Arnie answers with “All of Them”)
  • When Arnie finds Christine Totaled by the School Bully and His Girlfriend Leigh Cabot, and She try to Console Him: “DON’T TOUCH ME SHITTER!”
  • Arnie talking to Christine in the Mechanic Garage after She is Totaled: “We’ll show Those Shitters what We can Do.”
  •  Arnie talking with Dennis about Love: “What? Fuck No, I’m talking’ about Christine, Man No Shitter ever came Between Me and Christine…”

This is My Question What the fuck does calling Someone or Describing Someone as a Shitter mean Exactly?! The way I see it it’s one of Two Scenarios which I will Address Now.

  1. You take it at Face Value and by that I mean if I Drive an 18 Wheeler for a Living I’m a Trucker, and If I Farm the Land then I’m a Farmer Etc.  Following that Format I shit so that makes Me a Literal Shitter.
  2. The Insult is the Most Derogatory Term for a Toilet. I’m not Talking a Regular Household Bathroom I’m Talking about a Truck Stop Bathroom or a Gas Station Bathroom or Perhaps the Worst of all a Pro-A-Potty. Is It the same as Calling Someone an Asshole is a Crude way of Referring to a Rectum? Is the Insult that You’re  being called a Filthy, Nasty, Grimy, Disgusting, Nauseating, Sickening, Gross, Unsanitary, Disgusting, Puked On, Piss Covered, and Putrid Toilet with a Turd Floating in it.

If I had to make an Educated guess between the Two Options Listed Above I’d put My Money on Number 2 (OH THE IRONY!), and that says a lot Since I DON’T Gamble.

Thanks For Reading,

By Les Sober   

A Difference in Directors : A Quick Character Comparison

There are two sistink ways a Movie Director signs off on their various Films. The First is “A So-and-So Film” and the second being the “A Film by So-and-So” Now in reality these are just a way to Brand their product to help get the Directors name and work out into the World.

Now here is what chaps my ass when it comes to these two types of Branding. Allow me to explain.

The First identifier the “A Film by So-and-So” in my opinion is just fine and absolutely appropriate. Its a more subtly humble way of addressing how a Director takes credit for their work. Its a way to help Viewers to recognize the Director’s past/present/future Films, and know what kind of fare they will be seeing splayed across the Silver Screen. Think of it like this for example (as well as comparison purposes) if you see Stephen King’s name you know what your getting, your getting some seriously sick ,twisted,violent, scary fucking shit. If you see Tom Clancy’s name you again know what your getting which is some crazy, detailed, expert account of the American Military, Government Agencies and Politicians.

Now the Second way for a Director to help the public identify their Films is to use the tag line “A Film by So-and-So” THIS IS SO GODDAMN STUPID. This claim goes far beyond egotistical and far into megalomania. Why is this? Its because when you state “A Film by So-and-So” its as if their saying “I did this, ME and only ME”, and thats so fucking ridiculous its insulting and offensive to all the other people/professionals that worked their asses off on the Film to help complete the Director’s vision of/for their particular Film. I mean really what the fuck is the Director thinking or perhaps its the fact that their not thinking about anything (or anyone) else, but themselves and their career. Seriously what am I the viewer supposed believe that the Director was responsible for the entire production as if they acted all the parts, ran cameras and sound, found locations to shoot, did wardrobe, special effects, stunts, catering, editing, producing, writing, promoting, the soundtrack, and funded the whole fucking Film themselves which as we all know is the farthest fucking thing from the actual truth.

In Summation if your going to Direct Movies thats awesome and I wish you all the luck in Hollyweird, BUT when the Film is wrapped, all said is and done DON’T BE A SELF CENTERED PRICK. Its your Film true but my point is you sure as hell didn’t do it all by your little self now did you?!

Thanks For the Read,

Les Sober