Tag: strip club

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (13/365)

Lee placed the keys back into His pocket, and went to Open the Door to see if and how He could help this Odd Little Old Lady who was lurking just outside the Door. As soon a Lee had Opened the Door the Little Old Lady with 6 or 7 of Her Friends in tow riffled past Lee in a Single File line like Their fucking lives depended on it. Once They had barraged in gaining access to the Porn Shop the spread out in all directions like CockRoaches when the Lights come on. Before Lee even knew what was happening a Second Set of Old Women came raging through the Door looking like some sort of Demented Calvary in Homemade Shawls.

“LETS GO, LETS GO LADIES, LETS GO!” barked the Little Old Lady who first ran in. She apparently for all intensive purposes looked to be the Leader of this maundering Street Gang of Geriatrics. Next this Little Old Woman started a raucous chant of “PERSECUTE PORN PEDDLERS AND PERVERTS!!!”

It was then that Lee took notice that the Majority of the Old Ladies were wearing matching Easter Yellow T-Shirts that had a Large Cross on it with the words “Grandmas For God”. Holy Shit Lee thought excitedly I know exactly what the hell is going on now this is the Hardcore Christian Group Grandparents of God (and Yes the Little Old Men wore Grandpas For God T-shirts) who had been making waves in the News recently.

The Grandparents For God had been targeting Strip Clubs in They’re Smite The Strippers Campaign. Before that the Group landed in the Lime Light for Aggressively Protesting the last lingering Pornographic Magazines, and Their Publishers with Their Keep Porn Out of Print Program. Lee simply couldn’t wait to see what the fuck these Fanatical Old School Fire and Brim Stone Christian Coalition was up too.

    

“Alright YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO, LETS PURGE THIS PLACE OF PORNOGRAPHY AND ITS PERVERSIONS!!!” Yelled The Little Old Lady Leading the Onslaught while raising Her clenched Fist high in the air as if it was the Summer of 1969. These were some Militant Missionaries who’d stop at nothing to Accomplish what They viewed as God’s work, and apparently God want Them to Persecute the Social Evil’s of Pornography in all its forms of Fornication.

Upon hearing the Battle Cry to Action the Horde of Nursing Home Soldiers of God erupted into an Apocalyptic Super Storm of Self Righteousness. The Old People Protesting started grabbing Merchandise from everywhere in the Store while one Old Lady who looked to be in Her late 90’s held the Door open with her Unsteady liver spotted Hands. Lee suddenly returned to reality, and realized He had to do something about this Religious Riot that was Unraveling before His eyes.

    

“Alright LADIES, LADIES What is going on Here? What is the Problem here? Please STOP acting so insane and just TELL ME what Your ISSUE IS.” Lee pleaded mustering all the Humility He possibly could.

Stay Tuned Kiddies for Tomorrow’s Crazy Installment of

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (14/365)

Thanks for Reading,

   By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (3/365)

Along the way as Porn Shops became Cleaner, Safer, and more Socially Acceptable Their availability to the Public became Greater. Porn Shops now could operate Out in the Open giving Them a much more viable and visible presence in the Community so to speak.

Back in the Old Days One had only one of two options when it came to visiting a Porn Shop. Now first off in BOTH scenarios the Trips are made at Night as even the most Hardcore Porno Fans wouldn’t venture out in Daylight to visit a Porn Shop. It was totally out of the Question because You always ran the risk of Someone You knew seeing You, and back then that was a huge fucking deal.

   

Now You either lived in a City, and had to circumnavigate the Perils of The Trip to the Porn Shop. Since Porn was Persecuted at the time if You went to a Porn Shop You had to stray into a truly shitty Neighborhood. You would have to weave in and out between the Hookers, Junkies, Pimps, Drug Dealers, Muggers, Petty Thieves, Hustlers, Police (who could and most likely would arrest you), and Homeless. And as You did You pass other so called Unsavory Businesses such as Shady Strip Clubs, Porno Movie Theaters, Pawn Shops, Liquor Stores, Abandoned Store Fronts, and Flea Bag Hotels the kind that Rent by the Hour.

That or if You lived in a Rural or Suburban Area You had a serious Drive in front of You if You wanted to pop by Your “Local” Porn Shop. Suburbia is just as bad as if You lived in a Remote Rural Area. Thats due to the Unwritten Rule of No Porn in Places People go to Raise Their Kiddies. Well the Internet fucked that Up for Suburbanite Parents.

   

Anyway if You lived in the Rural or Suburban setting the Porn Shop would be on Average 45-60 minutes away in the middle of Bumblefuck Nowhere so remote They don’t even have Street Lights. That meant You’d have to drive late at Night Down some long, dark, and winding Country Backroads while worrying about hitting a Deer (or some other Woodland Critter along the way.)

It was  identical to how Psychiatry is widely Accepted and Utilized Nowadays by the Members of Society free from the Stigma of the Past where only “Crazy” or “Seriously Disturbed” People saw Shrinks. Porn Shops just like Psychiatry were once Demonized had now come Full Circle, and now instead of be ostracized by Society where now a Welcomed Addition.

 

Stay Tuned To Tomorrows Installment of Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (4/365)

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

F to the U to the C to the K to the Part to the 2

Some say I had a chip on my shoulder in the womb.

Others believe I was born Angry from Day 1.

As soon as I entered the World I was Raging, Railing, and Rioting against it.

Confrontation Excites Me.

I’ve made arguing into an Art Form of Fuckery.

I make people think through changing Their Perspective of the Situation.

I win by always making an Intelligent Argument. Never argue like an Idiot. Never Argue from a point of Ignorance. Stupidity is Avoidable.

I was born a fighter, Live as a Fighter, and I will inevitably Die Fighting Waring to the last second of My Life.

I’m the kind of Person that people say “I hope in Death he finds the Peace he could never find in Life.” at their fucking Funeral.

And Thus The Fucks Continue undaunted…….

Fuck Steve Harvey. Fuck Bixby. Fuck Cortana. Fuck Supremacy.

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Fuck Minimum Wage. Fuck The 40 Hour Work Week. Fuck Outsourcing.

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Fuck The “Me, Me, Me!” Mentality. Fuck That We Are All Winners.

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Fuck The Alpha Male Theory. Fuck Blame. Fuck Finger Pointing.

Fuck Perception. Fuck Totalitarianism. Fuck Communism.

AND MOST OF ALL FUCK YOUR BLOG.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober