Tag: stupid people

A whine, a whine, and cake

This month has been incredibly hard for me. With my new found dedication to my mind, body, and spirit which includes sobriety, health, and meditation has come a lot of new found pitfalls. Not really new just that I thought quitting smoking would come very easy to me like quitting drugs or quitting drinking, but those did not come on the first try so why should this have.

It has kept me from writing as much I would have liked. But changes need to be imminent, otherwise change will never occur.

That being said. I started writing this yesterday however I needed a bit of a kick in the ass, a nice taste of stupid people, and a little bit of eye candy.

Unfortunately all I saw at the gym were five foot tall power lifting gym rat muscle heads. I’m pretty sure one stood at maybe 4’4″. I always find it cute with double numbers, just not with those two. I guess if I liked women I would like 44 better. I mean Pam Anderson does have a nice rack.

   

Ugh so all these people that think they can drive the speed limit or better in the snow are amusing. It’s not that bad out yet, maybe two or three inches and people drive like they are God. I am waiting for someone to crash into the median in front of me at some point. It would be pretty funny unless an airbag went off or glass broke. Most silly accidents like that are relatively funny.

OK I’ll stop being sick in the head. The funniest thing about the snow is there is always someone on TV shoveling it way, way, way too early. In this case about 15 hours too early. And he looked 70. I wish there was a way to broadcast to all elderly people when they are cutting up.

Or anyone really. Like sometimes my conscious mind seems to take a trip to a far away galaxy. There should be a chip in my head. Bad Spacedog, Bad Spacedog!!!! And transport me to some shackles.

    

That all being said…..I am not in the mood to bitch a whole lot more.

I am in the mood for cake. An entire cake…. decadent, lascivious, homemade, mouthwatering.

Men are like cake.
If I could I would eat cake everyday.
For every meal.
Then I would waddle eventually.
Overly indulged I would not want cake ever again.

Men are like that. You have too many, you will end up waddling or walking with a certain slant or strange visitors in your nooks and crannies.

Yet there are so many kinds of cake. It’s easy to find any old piece of cake. A vanilla with vanilla frosting or a chocolate cake. Minors are kind of like cupcakes. When you are a little cupcake, they are nice and tasty and big cakes are rather frightening or daunting or cumbersome. Hopefully we grow out of cupcakes.

 

Sometimes I still feel like a cupcake or I feel like eating one but I like a biT more satisfaction. And besides cupcakes don’t come in as many flavors.

And my favorite cake. I’m not really sure. My favorite cakes changes from year to year to year. Right now it probably would be Black Forest. But if I went around looking for a man that was black forest I would probably find something similar but not the same. Like a chocolate cheesecake covered in cherries.

But it’s easy to find cheesecake too. In fact most of the men in this world are cheesecakes. You can top them with strawberries, cherries, blueberries but guess what? They are still cheesecake underneath it all. Maybe if I liked cheesecake I would have been the type of person that has had a piece of cake under my grubby little fingers since I was 16 years old but I’ve never really been the biggest fan of cheesecake. It probably would be easier. But why just settle for the cheesecake?

   

I’d even take my second favorite cake, Triple Mousse. Then I find Triple Mousse and realize that cake is no longer what I want. I suddenly am allergic to chocolate. I suddenly am allergic to you. I ponder and I plot and I worry about what I am supposed to do. It would be nice if I could put a rain check on the Mousse or the Black Forest.

But then some days I want pie. And on those days I hide. I love lemon meringue and I love key lime, but the pie sometimes symbolizes what is wrong with life. It is so convenient and so easy, like the crack cocaine of sweets. Hostess and Tastycake and Drakes offer it for a dollar or less at times and it is so accessible. It calls right there and screams my name. It is easy to resist but hard like all other bad things can be at times.

So I sit here on this post snowy day wondering what exactly Christmas cookies are.

   

Then I wonder about Advent calendars. Why can’t their just be a man hiding behind the many days leading up to Christmas? That I can take with me and wake up under the Christmas tree and then just put him away a few days after New Years and forget about him and throw him in the crawl space until the following December.

I suppose some things will never be perfect in the world.

  By SpaceDog

Day 1 – Dumb Dumde Dumb DUUUUUUMB

The title of this blog is pretty self explanatory. There is really no need for fancy little paragraphs and sections and all that jazz.

Well except that I am referring to people when I use the word dumb. It would be quite refreshing if there were only 5 dumb people in the world, but most people would be lucky if there were only 5 dumb people in their own group of 5 themselves included.

Actually there are two things in particular I was thinking about which don’t necessarily relate to one specific person’s stupidity but more of stupidity of society as a mass as a whole.

This All started yesterday as I was driving down to the beach. I ended up going by myself, but had an opportunity to take another friend I had not seen in a long time with me. There was definite thought in the positive for including him but then I reached into my CD case for a CD.

And for some reason chance decided to give me Arista’s greatest hits of the last 15 years. But this CD was old……I think from the 80s!!!! I had no idea how it got into my car, but I was driving and if I go on a maddening search for CDs my car will crash.

I didn’t know the majority of the songs, then I came upon I’ve Been Around the World by Lisa Stansfield. It was nice to hear it was a good song and I still like it but everything else on the CD was mundane. I mean Whitney Houston is great, but I wasn’t feelin’ her and some of the other artists, well probably all of them, had a relatively respectable career.

Anyway the whole CD made me think about how music is really like people. There are some songs we grow obsessive over when they first come out but there are rarely few that we continue to be obsessive over throughout the course of time. There are other songs for other reasons, no matter how great they may have once been, that we just do not feel that connection to like we used to do.

And that I realized is how I felt about this friend. You will have a great time, you will smile, you will laugh, but in the end it will be the two of you stopped at an intersection in front of a music ordinance sign blasting Metallica while exposing your genitalia to the police officer that just pulled up.

I mean if you went out one day ten years ago and went to the liquor store and bought a case of beer and Barbaresco €œSori Paitin❠Vecchie Vigne Paitn 1999 Piemonte which would you still have around today? Well obviously the wine of course, unless you are less the connoisseur and more the alcoholic. Then both would have been gone in relatively short fashion.

What I’m saying is I really rather wish that people were more like telling the difference between what type of liquor to keep then what type of music to keep. For me, I never know when my music taste is going to change even if ever so slightly. I mean the genre, the type of beats, the type of vocalistic, type of rifts, etc. will stay relatively the same. Unless I suffer a major concussion today, I won’t be buying any Garth Brooks or Sugarland albums anytime in this lifetime.

But as people change the music changes. Their music changes. The tune the world is marching along to changes as well. I assume most people are either listening to Taps, because they are doing nothing in the way of self improvement, so they might as well be dead or are listening to Fury of the Storm by Dragonforce. Sad to say it’s a lot more Taps out there, well except on the Garden State Parkway or New Jersey Turnpike. Some people there get so into Fury of the Storm, that in several days a lot of their friends and family get together and all listen to Taps outloud and not just in their heads.

Strange, strange world we live in.

oh, the other thing well i’m going to save for day 30. if i dont the fire ignition switch under my rear currently will explode.

By SpaceDog