Tag: tech scams

Try Scamming Me & I’ll Royally Fuck Up Your Day.

As we are all by now aware theres a group of shitbags that make their living conning and scamming people 9 ways to Sunday. It started back in the day with bullshit e-mails people would randomly receive the ones where some fucking Prince, Sultan, King or some impressive shit is desperately trying to contact you ( a complete fucking stranger) The letters go on to describe some shitty injustice that has persecuted them and above all frozen their finances (i.e. Bank Accounts) and now this member of Royalty must flee their native land (because these letters claim to come from the Middle East or Africa predominately. Now heres the hook because this member of Royalty needs money to escape their willing to cut you the deal of the fucking century some shit like if you give me $5,000 once I escape and am vindicated I will pay you back $1,000,000 for the favor. I can’t believe I’m fucking saying it but it worked and worked well.

Then Identity thieves realized there was far more money to be made if you can steal a persons personal info such as Social Security Number, PIN Number, A Personal Check, Credit Card Info or Debit card. This gave birth to a whole new can of con artist worms.

There was the 1st group I call the Asshole Absurdists. They earn this mocking moniker because their fucking AMATEURS, and it tends to show in their work. I’ll use myself as an example here. I was surfing Porn and my Phone Froze and a message immediately popped up on my screen. The message read something to this affect:

“You have been flagged for visiting illegal pornographic sites. These sites contain images portraying Zoology, Pedophilia, Extreme Fetishes, Body Fluids etc. Your Phone for that reason has been frozen and will be wiped clean in 24 hours. To avoid this The FBI is willing to take a $500 in Target Gift Cards. The message went on to tell me how to get payment to the alleged FBI.”

Heres how I directed it instantly. 1) Zoology is an actual Animal Science,  what these assholes meant to say was Bestiality or the crime of engaging in sexual relations with an Animal. 2) In all do favor I’m a YOUPORN man so I actually don’t surf for different sites but surf just that one (What they got a SHIT TON of content) 3) The FBI does not collect fines or penalties their a Government crime fighting agency, and if the Government wants any type of payment they created the IRS for that shit. 4) If lets say was in fact the FBI they would simply arrest me for alleged crimes because THATS WHAT THEY DO. 5) Why the fuck would the FBI want fucking $500 in Target cards as payment, and why wouldn’t you mail it or whatever to an official FBI office not some nameless P.O. Box.  Asinine Asshole Absurdists.

The second is phone scams of a 1,000 different varieties, but the main 3 are due to current affairs, and they are pertaining to Health Insurance or Some outstanding Debt. or Hacking (they sell you fake security and run fake tests and from what I hear are quite good at imitating APPLE CUSTOMER SERVICE REPS. so heres a helpful tip APPLE DOESN’T SELL SECURITY OF ANY SORT WHAT SO EVER, AND NEVER USE 411 TO CONTACT APPLE AS SOME OF THOSE NUMBERS ARE FAKES SET UP BY CON ARTISTS) Then the phone scammers started to utilize texts to initial scare the shit out of the receiver and panic them into franticly calling a phone number included in text. Some fuck-fart tried selling me fake ass computer security and in the long run it didn’t end well for this individual. Apparently from what I heard 3rd hand from friends in Dirty Jersey he was found and then severely beaten, robbed, and warned for some reason to stop fucking stealing from people or they would shove his cell phone up his ass. I must state for the record and legal reason that I had no part in the assault/robbery mentioned previously.

All was quite on the Western Front as they say until 6:15 am when I received 3 identical texts in a row. The texts all said the same thing:

“Unfortunately we are having trouble processing payment for your health coverage. PLEASE CONTACT US AT 855-355-0402 – Customer Service”

The number I’m posting is the actual real number these fucking fools included in the text as their contact number. Heres My run down of the texts: First off WHO THE FUCK IS “US”?! I dunno about you but in my experience companies plaster their name and logo all over any email, snail mail or text they send. My Health Insurance Company LOVES to repetitively use their name any chance they fucking get the egotistical scumbags (if you remember correctly I HATE INSURANCE OF ANY KIND.) Second of all I make 2 yearly payments (ever 6 months from time of signing up) which is taken care of by Auto Pay so I don’t forget and fuck up my coverage or loose it. So I knew there was no issue with my real payment to my real Health Insurance Company as I also check my bank statement online religiously. Thirdly again WHO THE FUCK IS “US”?! Fourth on my list Insurance Companies don’t use words like “Unfortunately” as they don’t give a shit about you personally your just another ATM Machine to them. If you owe or there is an issue with your Insurance coverage they are quite blunt and quite aggressive about it. They’ll state you own them said amount of money and why then instruct you to pay by a certain date or lose you coverage (which also makes it difficult to replace with a different plan with a different country) They also tend to use words such as “OPEN IMMEDIATELY” or “IMPORTANT INFORMATION INCLOSED” or the classic “URGENT”/ “PAST DUE” Lastly no company in my experience has ever signed off as Customer Service especially if its a money matter it comes from THE BILLING DEPARTMENT or at least PAST DUE ACCOUNTS which again comes is part of the BILLING DEPARTMENT NOT MOTHERFUCKING CUSTOMER SERVICE. We all know Customer Service Reps have NO Authority or a modicum of power, they are the preverbal lowest of the low on the Totem Pole.

Now I got pissed off by these stupid scammer text bullshit so instead of doing what I usually do (Erupt in a Rage) I formulated a much different plan to fight back against these Scam Artist Sons of Bitches.

Due to the fact I don’t want to write what seems to the Reader as a “Endless Post”or having them suffer Ocular Seizures  I will be posting this Story in 2 parts. Part 2 will be posted Tomorrow I assure you.

Thanks For The Read,

Les Sober

Hackers Can Go Hump Hitler in Hell.

Once again f-yourblog.com suffered another unfortunate set back. I was working on the GG Allin Pictorial when I went to open photos and the son of a bitch wouldn’t open. This had happened once before and it was easily fixed if by that you mean spending well over an hour on the fucking phone with Apple Customer Service Representatives.

So once again I had to grin and bare it and called Apple Customer Service.

The first Apple Representative  I spoke with unfortunately had one of the thickest Indian accents I have ever heard. I honestly could only make out about every third word, and had to constantly ask him to repeat himself. Finally we got to the point where all attempted communication had ground to a slow but definitive stop. By that I mean I couldn’t proceed to do a damn thing  because We had hit the point in the conversation where I had no idea whatsoever what the Guy was asking/saying/instructing me to do. After a couple of minutes of just simply telling the Representative repeatedly that “Its isn’t doing a damn thing!” we got disconnected. I think it is safe to assume the Representative had realized as I had that we could not go any further, and was getting tired of my growingly stand offish attitude. I can’t say I blame him for if he had stayed on the line with me it would have ended in a very ugly and obscene manner I assure you.

Now being thoroughly pissed off at the result of my first 40 minute failed phone call to Apple Customer Service I called them again immediately.

Now allow me a minute to explain that in these situations if the Customer Representative is Polite, Attentive, Apologetic (if need be), informative, up beat and helpful I guarantee it will be the most entertaining phone call that that they will receive all fucking Month. Yet if the Customer Service Representative sounds annoyed, bored, agitated, depressed doesn’t listen to what the hell I’m saying I guarantee it’ll be the most hellacious fucking phone call that they have EVER experienced. The reason for this is the Customer Service Industry is damn near dead as a door nail thats for fucking sure. I’m sick of having to call some 800 number to resolve a problem/issue and having to deal with some phone drones shitty attitude for god knows how long, BUT I digress.

Luckily for All the second Apple Customer Representative I spoke with was a very polite gentlemen named Isaac Internet.

Isaac Internet went on to inform me that the current issue wasn’t the same dippy dips hit as before and in fact its rather serious to say the least. Isaac went on to tell (and show me with the whole fucking screen sharing shit) that 11 fucking separate individual Assholes had been working on Hacking Our IP address, and had made it as far as shutting off our FireWall protection. Isaac explained the whole IP Address Hacking Threat in full from How It Works to How to Prevent it.

At one point Isaac “Momed” me. Isaac had identified the problem as being Hackers and all I gave a shit about was fixing the problem and preventing any future issues ASAP. I know what a Hacker is and what they do and what their looking for so I appreciated the tutorial BUT I didn’t want to hear a damn word of it right then, JUST FIX THE FUCKER. I laughed sarcastically at one point during Isaac’s Hacker/Hacking Lecture, and Isaac just like a Mom abruptly cut me off and sternly reminded me that this was a very serious situation and I shouldn’t think otherwise. Fuck it He was right. After Isaac’s impromptu Anti-Hacker/Hacking Speech we figured out a game plan and resolved the problem/issue so I can’t rightfully complain.

Now to be clear I am a rather paranoid person and I definitely don’t trust a fucking computer/Laptop/Smartphone/Tablet etc. in the least. At the end of the day as a habit I delete all the day’s texts, e-mails and recent phone calls I honestly don’t know when I started doing this but I won’t be stopping anytime soon. Its my utter distrust in the safety of todays electronic devices that more than likely saved our ass. See I don’t use my Smartphone as the wallet of today, that is there is no personal information on it to be hacked and stolen. If a Hacker did access my phone they’d be unamused and angry they wasted their time on a dead end. I also don’t carry around my Lap Top or Tablet like an electric brief case so again their’s no important personal information, no passwords, no record of Bank Transactions, no crucial business related items, no online bill pay, no Paypal account, no Facebook nothing an Identity Thief would give a flying fuck about.

You can use this Blog as a prime example of how I highly I prize and to what extent I will go to to hide y actual identity. Thats why there no actual pictures of me, my friends or family here, My name isn’t splattered all over the site because I personally don’t want to “Be Famous” or even well known OUTSIDE OF MY WORK. Thats why My Tech Paranoia carries over to this blog. That why I even wrote a post explaining my views on my personal Privacy/Anonymity. In that post I stated I am using a Pen Name as is everyone affiliated with or working for f-yourblog.com and thusly I would be changing the names of all people and places in every post, but not only that. I wasn’t going to half ass it I’m not calling Dave Donald or any simpleton shit I change the names to completely absurd ones that are totally unbelievable (as that is what they are intended to be.)

IN SUMMATION: ALL ASSHOLES WHO BECOME IDENTITY THIEVES THROUGH HACKING CAN GO SUCK SATAN’S BALLSACK, EAT THE DEVIL’S DICK, AND HUMP HITLER IN HELL.

TO ALL HACKERS: GO HACK YOURSELF UP YOUR OWN ASS AND FUCKING ROT INCASED IN YOUR OWN FUCKING FECES.

 

By Les “Than” Sober