text bomb – f-your blog

Try Scamming Me & I’ll Royally Fuck Up Your Day PT. 2: Counterstrike

I left off explaining in the last post that some Absurd Asshole(s) had contacted via text about trouble processing my Health Insurance Payment that was a BLATANT SCAM. In stead of flipping out and going batshit crazy with rage/revenge I would try a different plan. Here is what I did.

I did some Bong Rips and began to think about a plan. Now not only did I want to piss the Scam Artist off as much as they had me I also wanted it to be fun to do. I ended up coming around full circle by selecting Text Messaging as my form of communication versus Cell Phone Call. If I had chose to call the number included in the Text I know what the fuck would have happened.

I would have simply lost my shit and started cursing out the guy on the other end of the phone. The swearing then would be followed by a slew of insults and then violent threats of bodily harm. I seem to have inherited my Father’s intense source of Anger. My motto in situations like this is if you try and fuck with me or fuck me over I will return the favor 100 fold, BUT I digress.

Then I concocted a phony Movie Company Called Von Dire Films. Now Von Dire I thought should be a scummy, underground, indie, sleazy, offensive, and troubling films with titles like “Corpse Farm: A Return to Flesh” or some weird shit like that. I then came to the conclusion that Von Dire Films was a Self Promotional Merchandise Super Sluts who TEX BOMB the Hell out of random people hoping to secure some new fans/customers.

Here are some examples of the Von Dire Film Solicitation Texts:

Text 1.

You have reached Von Dire Movie Production Company. Unfortunately We are having budgetary issues while shooting our new Movie in Borneo called “Skull Fucking Your Bloody Skull”. We will be out of the Country for Filming for the next 8 weeks. Please leave any and all contact information pertaining to the specified project at Our Dark Web Website VonDiresFuckedUpFilm.Org

So to Our Fans We say “Fuck Off We’re Filming” & “Adios Assholes” so Thank You for Your interest in Von Dire International Snuff Film Productions LLC.

Text 2.

Von Dire Banned Films That with Mindfuck you like a Lobotomy!!!

WWW.VDBF.ORG

SUPER SICK SALE ALL WEEK LONG!!!!!!!!

Text 3.

Von Dire Film “Cannibalistic Coitus” Nominated for the Underground Picture of the Year at Cannes!!! Now Only $29.99!!!

See Our Website on the Dark Web for further details!!!

STAY SICK CITIZENS!!!!!!

TEXT 4.

VON DIRE IS BACK! in the Celluloid Slaughter Business with his new demented movie “Meat Hook Justice” Coming to American Theaters Feb. 14th 2018! ADVANCE TICKETS Sales Available Through Our Dark Web Website. SO SIGN IN, SHOP, AND STAY SICK!

Text 5.

Von Dire’s Ferral Film Festival set for Bucharest Sept. 18th 2018!!!

Gorepon Group Packages Available on our DARKEST WEBSITE!

HURRY BEFORE THEY SELL OUT!!!!!

GOREPONS START AT 12,000 BitCoin (Purchaser must have a Valid

PayPal account at time of Purchase)

Text 6.

Gorepon the Groupon of Grizzly Gore has current Tour Packages of

Killing Christ’s Kingdom Studios

VERY LIMITED TIME ON ONLY!!! DON’T THINK BUY. BUY.BUY.

TEXT 7.

VON DIRE Sinful Spoken Wicked Word Tour COMING SOON!!

Check Out Our Deepest Dark WebSite for Upcoming Information!!!

Have Your check books ready!!!!

Text 8.

Von Dire Biography 4 Sale!!! “Bloody Genital Mutilation: My Life Growing Up in Antartica” ON SALE! LIMITED NUMBER PRINTED!

ORDER NOW,NOW,NOW!!! (Sale Price 165 Euros) !!!

All We need is Your Social Security Card Number for verification of Purchase!

Text 9.

Von Dire Films Presents Bloody Sod Bollock’s

“Shoot My Face Off I Like It” Disturbing Documentary of Damnation

For Sale For LOW, LOW PRICE of 900 Yen!!!

All We Need is Your Debit Card Number and Pin Number!!!

Text 10.

Von Dire’s New Gothic Novel

“The Insurance Sucubus Slayer: Cannibalize The Conman”

Available now on BrutalBooks.Net for $49.99

All We Need is the Routing Number from a Personal Check!!!

Text 11.

Von Dire is Von Damit in “Demonic Dolphin Rape Cave 2”

Streaming on FuktFilms.Net for just the low price of $4.99 for

the 1st Minute and $2.99 each Additional Minute!!!!!

Text 12. “Lust and Lobotomies: The Jeffery Dalhmer Story” by Von Dire

Inspired by Real Life Insanity!!

Torn from the Headlines of Horror!!!!

On Sale Now For Just 17 Easy Payments of $59.99!!!!

Text 12.

Von Dire’s work will Haunt you!!!!

Check Out at Goddamn VOnDire.Org!!!

Text. 13

Von Dire Fan Club Enrolling NOW!!!

Von Dire’s Fan Club The Bloody Bastards has LIMITED OPENINGS!!!

Rare chance to become an actual Fan Club Member just Sign Up For

12 Months for $6,499.99!!!

9 Months for $4,995.99!!!

6 Months for $3,499.99!!!

3 Months for $1,499.99!!!

1 Month for just a mere $999.99

All You need to do is just send ALL Your Personal Banking Information to Us Via Our Deep Dark Dark Website!!

Text 13.

“Suck My Ass It Smells” the Von Dire GG Allin Punkumentary Slated for Release in FALL 2019!!! ADVANCE TICKETS FOR SALE!!!! BUY NOW!!!!!

Text 14.

It has come to Our attention that you haven’t purchased anything in QUITE A WHILE!

Please contact Us IMMEDIATELY with Your Credit Card Information Ready!!!

VON DIRE FILMS LLC “The Sickest Shit on Celluloid!!!”

Text 15.

WHY haven’t YOU visited Our Deep Website VonDire.Org Website??????

Please Stop and SHOP! SHOP! SHOP!

Deals! Sales! Discounts!! DOUBLE Fan Club Member Points!!!!!

Text 16.

It has come to the attention of Our Billing Department that You have an Outstanding OVER DUE Payment Pending for $749,999.99.

If You FAIL to contact us within 24 hours We will turn Your Current Past Due Amount over to The United States Federal Debt Collection Agency.

It be in Your Best Interest to CALL US TODAY and PAY Without Thinking or Questioning it. You can also Log Onto Our Darkest Website and SPEND the Equivalent on Merchandise.

Text 17.

You’ve been CAUGHT by MasterLock Security Monitoring Systems on Illegal Von Dire DarkWeb Movie sites.

These Sites contained depictions of Extreme Fetishes, Donkey Shows, Eating Feces, Platypus Rape, S&M&B&D&GT, Pygmy Gangbangs, Live Sex Acts preformed by Sea Monkeys, Defamation of the Dead, Necrophilia, HillBilly Incest, Cattle Decapitation, Sex with Star Fishes, Genital Mutilation, Uniques, Rectal Insertion of Foreign Objects, Triple Fisting, Nipple Clamp Carnage, Group Masturbation, Coffin Coitus, Blood Lust Orgies, Vaginal Vomiting, Testicular Torture, Midgets Running a Train on a WNBA Center, Amputee Stump Humping, Skull Fucking, Ejaculating Blood, Among Other Offenses.

If You Do Not PAY the Fine of $15,499.99 to Us in Target Gift Cards OR Cigarettes WE WILL REPORT YOU TO THE NSA IMMEDIATELY POST HASTE!

Text 18.

Cunt-Fart & The Rotten Peckers have just signed a contract to record the entire Soundtrack for Von Dire’s Short Student Art Film

“Sadistic Sex Slug Sodomy”

Release due February 1st at MIDNIGHT through Our Super Sick Website!!!

Members get unlimited listening!!!

So Send Us a Photocopy of Your Driver’s License and a Blank Persona Check or Debit Card!!!!

ONLY $975.99 While Supplies Last BUY NOW WITHOUT DELAY!!!!!!

Shitting and Fondling Included for an Additional Fee of $64.99!!!

Text 19.

Visit VONDIREMERCH.ORG(Y).NET NOW!!!!HURRY!!! GO!!!!

Discount Sale Starts This Friday at Midnight on Our Sick As Shit Website TODAY!!!

BE THERE YOU BASTARDS & BITCHES!!!!!

Text 20.

Authentic Bulgarian Bahhbahchoubpa Available TODAY!!!!

Grown EXCLUSIVELY at Von Dire Feral Farms in the Sunless Lithuanian Country Side!!

JUST A MEASLY $49.99 a Bushel!!!!! LOGON TO OUR Sinful Website for Purchasing Information TODAY!!!!!

Text 21.

Von Dire Office Yard Sale is going on this Weekend!!!!

This is YOUR rare and utterly exclusive chance as a Fucked Up Fan Club Member to PURCHASE SPECIAL MERCHANDISE ITEMS SUCH AS:

A Mason Jar of Von Dire’s Shaved Pubes, VD’s PERSONAL ANTIQUE Genital Torture Kit, VD’s diseased and stuffed Pet Electric Eel, VD’s office Urinal, The German Industrial Nipple Clamps from VD’s Outfit he wore to the Vomitous Awards in 1993, AND SOOOOO MUCH MORE!!!! LOG ON NOW LEMMINGS!!!

Text 22.

Von Dire’s Scummy Spoken Word Collection “Decade of Debauchery” consists of the 1979-1991 Spoken Word Tours of Guam. ONLY $99.99! LOG ON AND BUY NOW and BUY A COPY FOR A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER NOW!!

Text 23.

Von Dire’s Lost Movie has just been Found!!!!

“Cockring Carnival of Karnal Cock Carnage 1888”

One of Von Dire’s 1st Films found misplaced in the Lost Soul Studios’s Film Vault!!!! ONLY $179.99!

EXTREMELY LIMITED TIME ONLY!!! This is a one time 36 Hour Special Secret Sale!!! Buy Several Copies NOW!!!

Text 24.

Von Dire POP UP RESTAURANT The VD Clinic IS HERE Tonight!!!

Just a small fee of $299.99 Per Person and $499.99 Per Plate!!!!

Dinner Includes:

Specialty Corrosive Cocktails, 17 Course Dinner (with the Main Course Being Bison imported from the Croatia), Damnable Dessert, and Sinister Cigars served with 110 year old cognac from Turkey.

PLUS A SPECIAL SHOWING OF VD Video Productions Catalog BUT HURRY SALE ENDS IN 76 Minutes!!

Text 25.

BREAKING NEWS!!! THIS JUST IN!!!!

Von Dire Dick Pics Leaked on

HollywoodHardons.com!!!!!!

NOTE TO READER: The texts above were sent starting Monday 6:15 am and Wednesday 11:39am. That would have been the end of it, BUT on Wednesday at 2:47 pm The Absurd Assholes sent me yet ANOTHER TEXT. The text was the same deplete piece of shit cheap ass scam bullshit as the last previous 3. Thusly at 7:48 Wednesday I returned to my antagonistic ways.

Text 1.

“Throbbing Taints and the Shitty Assholes” a Film By the Legendary Deplorable Director VON DIRE is a Political Commentary Documentary on the current sate of political affairs throughout this Evil Earth. Von Dire has already announced He will be filming the sequel “TrumpFucker: A Legacy of Failure” solely focusing on Donald Trump.

ADVANCE COPIES AVAILABLE FOR 210 BITCOINS!! CHECK OUT OUR SICKLY WEBSITE!! SOONER THE BETTER, BUY NOW!!

TEXT 2.

“Crippled Faith” is a collection of Gothic Poems about Death and Desire by none other than VON DIRE’S Little Bastard Brother VAN DIRE!! The book was released by Putrid Publishing which is his Older Brother VON DIRE’s Publishing House known mostly for publishing “Necrophilia Noir” a instructional guide for beginner Necrophiliac.

AVAILABLE AT OUR WEBSITE!!!

All We Need is a photocopy of Your Personal Financial Statements such as Banking Statement, to Complete Your Purchase RIGHT FUCKING NOW BITCHES!!!

Text 3.

Von Dire’s band SlutFuck will be playing a limited number of secret acoustic Tour all during the month of March.

DON’T MISS SLUTFUCK’S “EATING THE ASS OUTTA A DEAD DINGO” TOUR

WHERE WILL THEY BE PLAYING YOU ASK???!!

Log On to Our Wretched WebSite where You and Your Friends can PURCHASE CLUES to help You to locate a Secret Show NEAR YOU!!

The Cost Per Clue is Only $29.99!!! ACT NOW, BUY NOW!!!!!!

Text 4.

Cocktails To The Tits: A Von Dire Meet & Greet scheduled before the debut of VD’s most recent Diseased Film “The Cyclops: Cycle of Shitty Sex, Unbearable Sin, and the Abominable Aftermath”

Saturday Midnight Showing down at The Barfly Lounge!!!

Meet & Greet Passes $349.99 and Film Tickets for ADDITIONAL $74.99!!

Call The BarFly Lounge For Details RIGHT FUCKING NOW BABY!!!

Text 5.

“Zombie Hooker Handjobs” a Sick Flick by One of the most despised film makers in MOVIE HISTORY Von Dire’s Eldest Son Vin Dire!! COMING SPRING 2019!!!

Text 6.

“The Scumfuck Tradition & Legendary Luridness”

Von Dire’s FAMOUS AWARD WINNING ROCKUMENTARY chronicles Iconic Underground Hardcore Porno Punk Bands Such as the Following:

The Fuck Me Pumps, SlutFucker ( a SlutFuck Tribute Band), Slore, The Shitty Shitty Gangbangers, Agent Alien Anal X, The Prolapsed Rectums, Anti-All, Puss Buster, Rectal Invasion, Muff Diver & The Bull Dykes, Fighters and Fuckers, The Les Sober Scumbag 6, The Gash, Up To The Nuts In Guts, The Young Cocksmen, Hairy Clam and The Beavers, Death To Dipshits, Fuck Your Face, Mr. Fister, Cunt-Fart, Mangled Manginas, Vag The Impaler, Manstruation, The Salty Yogurt Slingers, Molested Melvin, The Perv’s, Rectal Leakage, The Bastards, and MANY MORE!!!!

Just Send Us the Deed to Your House as Payment!!! Purchase NOW!!!

Text 7.

Von Dire Presents “Disemboweling The Dead” a Perverse Film from Celluloid Sinn with LIMITED SHOWINGS AVAILABLE NOW STREAMING ON OUR SINFUL WEBSITE!!!! ONLY $197.60!!! ACT NOW!!!

Text 8.

The Sultan of Slaughter, The Duke of The Damned, The King of Corpses, The Barron of Blood, The Price of Perversion, The President of the Perverse, The Prime Minister of Sinister VON DIRE RETURNS AFTER 2 YEAR ABSENCE!!!!!

“Mouth Full of Maggots” is Von Dire’s Return to the Wretched Movie!!!

Already Banned in 49 States and 42 Countries World Wide!!!

Available in 90 Days for $129.99 or an Advance Copy for just $119.99!!!

Text 9.

The Von Dire Movie “Gargling With Broken Glass” is now available fully remastered in GORE VISON !! Available Now For $665.99!! Gore Vision Glasses NOT INCLUDED! Gore Vison Glasses SOLD SEPARATELY and can be PURCHASED for $349.99!!!

Text 10.

The Satanic Semen Society to induct Infamous Film Maker VON DIRE into the Sleaze Hall Of Fame on Julember 32nd!!! Watch the Induction on PPV On Demand for $49.99 or Stream it LIVE on our Sinister Website for $74.99!!!!

Text 11.

BREAKING NEWS!! YUGOSLAVIAN FILTH FILM DIRECTOR VON DIRE!!!

VON DIRE was Arrested and charged with Crimes Against the Indigenous People of PogoPogo while filming his latest movie

“The Bloody Savages of The Flesh Forrst”

Stay Up To Date on this SHOCKING News Story by Subscribing to Our NEW YOURUBE Channel for a Low Monthly Charge of $79.99!!

WTF R U WAITING 4?!!

That My Readers is where it has ended for now, and We will have to wait and see if this situation will continue in the near future/future.

Thanks For Reading,

Les Sober

Madness Beyond Midnight: Les Unleashes Atomic Text Bomb

I’m not a morning person, nor am I an Afternoon person. I am the typical Night Owl exemplified a thousand fold. I get my so called second wind around 10:30-11:00pm and by say 2 am I’m up and running firing on all cylinders.

I have a tendency to text bomb Spacedog since he doesn’t mind fielding an avalanche of texts at all hours of the night, and more importantly Spacedog is one of the very few people I can write/text/say anything to. Thus I text the most extremely perverted, obscene, Absurd, Foul, Offensive, Insulting, Outrageous, Raunchy, Demented, Insanely Crazy, Controversial, Unorthodox, and “WTF” texts his way.

Last Night was no acceptation. The following are texts I sent to Spacedog starting at 1:49am with the last text sent around 3:00am.

1:49am The Insanity Ensues:

My Feet Wreak Of Scotch

It was actually a decent dinner party until Eric tickled Theresa’s twat, and one of his sausage fingers slipped through her beef curtains ending up knuckle deep in her happy humping hole. At that point we were all kicked the hell out drunk as drunk can be into the nefarious night.

Bollywood has an emerging Pornography industry that has actual 4 hour long fucking musical orgies of Singing, Sexing, Dancing & Dicking with the Super Slutty Cunny Sutra.

My New Favorite Insult: “Go Fucking Fist Yourself” or “Go Fist Fuck Your Face”

Karl got his cock cut off down at the Slimy Sausage Packaging Plant by humping on a Industrial Disemboweling-Internal Organ Processing Machine.

“DAMN THESE ELECTRIC SEX PANTS!”

Masa Clitty world renowned Scottish Folk Singer and Exquisite Anal Gaping Artist

Look Into The Eye Of My Ass To See What Shit IS Going Down.

Feel the Wrath of a Drunk Skunk Rage Humping Your Leg and Cumming on your socks for Spite.

Over Time How Far Do Vaginal Lips Sag as they head South?!

I’m suffering the onset symptoms of Saggy Senior Scrotum Aging Disorder, so I scheduled an appointment to Botox my Balls Tomorrow at 5:30 the AMs

Phil was a generally smart motherfucker who was killed by a Cannibal when he mistakenly told the Cannibal to “Eat My Ass”

The Young Cocksman Vs. The Salty Yogurt Singers for the Best New Porno Punk Rock Group 2017

If He Be a She and She Be a He then aren’t we just back where we started?!

New Porn Title: Licking Lot Lizards: The Trucker Fucker Union

Boner Toner For All Your Porn Star Needs.

I’m not giving coal to the people I deem to have been naughty this year. Instead I will be giving them 3 Pounds of Unwashed Wild Pif Pubes.

Sci Fi Porn is just Fucking With Phasers.

SciFi Pornos: All Alien Anal 11

HOLY ANAL GAPING GOPHERS BATMAN!

Can Drag Queens hide their Balls by sticking them in their butts?!

Justin Bieber’s Man Beaver

My New Death Metal Punk Band is Called THE MANGLED MANGINAS

Get It Up, Get It In, Get It Off, and Get It Out

They be Swank Fucking Fancy.

TODAY AT 5:56am Text From Spacedog

Hi. New Blog? Lol

Thanks for Das READ,

Les Sober

Les’s Late Night Text Bombing SpaceDog

The other night during a synaptic storm I texted bombed SpaceDog with a slew of absurd, obscene, insane or offensive thoughts I was having through out the night. This time around the initial late night text bombing led to a 5 day sporadic exchange between SpaceDog and Myself.

The Texts are as follows.

Monday 10:50 pm: Les to Spacedog

Text: Dominick Dunn had a 13 1/2 inch Monster Cock and an All Star Porn career until one day he got on a public bus and was staring at a fellow female passenger. Dunn got a semi and when he sat down he accidentally fucked himself. He quite Pornographers the next day. But the question remains….Could he have maintained his career going Gay for Pay, but only actually fucking himself?

Tuesday 4:44 am: Spacedog to Les

Text: No he would have died of a cocaine addiction. Those half hard dicks up your hole would be hard to maintain.

Tuesday 5:37 am: Les to Spacedog

Text: Damn Dope Dicks, Coke snorting cocks!

Tuesday 2:56 pm: Spacedog to Les

Text: So the retarded guy I live by gave me mail he got by accident. Instead of just ringing my bell though he at first thought attempting his key in my door as a proper move. He was trying that fucker for a good 30 seconds before the rang the bell.

Tuesday 3:19 pm: Les to Spaced

Text: Well at least he has an excuse other than being just a mindless moron phone drone or just plain fucking stupidity, he is at least legit retarded.

Tuesday 8:58 pm: Les to Spacedog

Text: My new favorite insult is calling someone Cunt-Fart. Scrotumology is a lot like Palm Reading accept instead of reading lines on your hands its reading the wrinkles on your balls. TAINT PAINTING TUESDAY!

Tuesday 10:50pm Spacedog to Les

Text: Does it take into account your good ball and bad ball? And not the ball itself or more the sack. Bad balls kinda need to be removed. Good old one ball.

Tuesday 11:14 Les to Spacedog

Texts: Both and the equates the differential. They use a anal based algorithm. Testicular Topography is what your talking bout. The art of personally diagnosis using the shape, size, weight, and circumference of each nut.

Its all Eyeballs & Assholes on Facebook.

EAS: Enlarged Anus Syndrome.

Spunk Bunker Butter & Jazz Jam Sandwiches

Anal Gaping Grandmas.

Amputees with Foot Fetishes. Amputee Porn or “Stump Humping”. The Limp Dick Lounge Act.

Fantasying while jerking off is called an “Ejaculation Vacation.

The Mediterranean Sea home of the Spermicidal Jellyfish. The Jellyfish is comprised of sperm killing antibodies so the harvest them, and mash them into a lubricant.

Cream Pied Grandmas.

Deep Dildo Double Dicking.

The Vagbrator.

Ass Grease Sex Lube

Taint Piercing

Witness the Birth of an Abortion

Ragerrhea: Rage Induced Violently Explosive Diarrhea

Gentalmen Stop Spanking YourMonkeys! Ladies Stop Roughing Up Your Clams! STOP ANIMAL ABUSE! STOP JERKING OFF ANIMALS! STOP ANIMAL MOLESTATION!!

Scientology Mottos: “A Sucker Is Born Every Minute” and “A Fool & His Money Are Soon Separated.

The Pungent Stench Of Sex, The Foul Fumes Of Fucking.

I’ll have the Sucking’n Fucking Salad

Jazzy Juice is your Porn Star Sexual Stimulant Alcoholic Beverage now with 48% More Viagra & Vodka

Vaginal Viagra. All Hail Queen Clitoris & King Dong! Long Dong Silver AWAY!

Junk Stank New Crotch Deoderant

Implantphilia: The fetish where a person gets off fucking surgical implants, the most common being Breat Implants.

Blood Fart: Farting Blood. What if you jerked off so hard you ejaculated a testicle?!! FALLOPIAN TUBE TERRORISM!

Clit Shitting: Defecating on the Clitoris.

Siberian Ichtodeplomia: The Fetish where people get their rocks off fucking each other with frozen feces. OR the fetish where someone where participants fornicate with one another using frozen human feces.

Wednesday 2:19 am: Les to Spacedog

Brown Eye Wash. Vaginal Diarrhea . I can see with the eye of my cock and your a senior citizen when you cum cream of wheat.

Wednesday 4:07 am: Les to SPacedog

Aqua Cock is Deep Sea Dicking.

Wednesday 5:46 am: Spacedog to Les

Text: Double tapered shit. Was giving birth to a bloody fecal fetus. China Whyte. Goofy grape. Pie in my hole. Muff madness. Furkins and lemonade.

Wednesday 7:32 am: Les to Spacedog

Texts: Common Kiddies and I’ll tell you the tale of when the 1 Eyed Worm met the Bearded Clam! Anaconda Cock with the Vertical Smile. Mr. Harry taco.

Whats shittier than smoking Flakka? Smoking Flakka laced with Bath Salts and PCP.

Wednesday 8:53 am: Les to SPacedog

Texts: German Industrial Nipple Clamp All Inclusive Suspension Kit Only $199.99. That shit tweeted my tits.

Turkey Rapists will fuck the stuffing outta your bird.

Her Ass Is Like The Fucking Jaws Of Life. She asked if I wanted to see her Spotted Dick so I asked her if she wanted to see my Freckled Pecker?!

Nothing Like Dipping Your Balls In Fondu

Thursday 12:15am: Les to Spacedog

Remember Kids White Nationalists are Actually NAZIS FUCKERS! White Nationalists only eat White Meat.

Knob Gobbler: A Turkey That Sucks Your Dick.

Toilets EAT SHIT. Pissy Chrissy got shot in the Twat.

Saturday 5:18 pm: Les to Spacedog

Text: Sorry as fuck I missed your call, I’m driving. Their idiots and assholes all over the fucking road, call you back when I get back to the Orifice of an Office, headed to a meeting.

Saturday 5:33 pm: Spaced to Les

Text: Ok, Like a Mom Meeting?

Saturday 5:47 pm: Les to Spacedog

Text: Well not quite that, but it was a Business M-Meeting of a different kind LMFAO!

Saturday 5:58 pm: Spacedog to Les

Text: Murder LOL! My Slave Roots?

Saturday 6:01 pm: Les to Spacedog

Text: Murder? I fucking wish, but that be a legendarily long ass meeting as I have a massive on going list of people I’d like to murder LMFBO! My Slave Roots sounds like some fucking collage radio Indie Emo Band.

Saturday 6:06 pm: Spacedog to Les

Text: It was Jimis Gatage band. Moms against drunk driving? Man against mail genitalia?!

Saturday 6:19 pm: Les to Spacedog

Text: Holy Shit and Holy Hell!!! Mail Order Genitalia! Fucking Fantastic.

Thanks For The Read As Always,

Les Sober

Midnight Madness 2017: Textmaniacs Trivial & Torrid Textversations

For what seems to be several years in the early hours on the morning Spacedog and Les Sober have been having extreme, hilarious, absurd, obscene, hardcore, offensive, Lewd, Brain Warping, Crude, Insane, Demented, Ungodly, Disturbed, Severely Mentally unbalanced conversations by phone or text. Les is working on recording and posting said phone conversations, but is dragging his ass post move. In the mean time it was decided that there was NO reason whatsoever not to start transcribing the conversations via text I mean how fucking hard is that?!

Now without further ado here is SpaceDog & Les’s most current Late Night Text Conversation or Textmaniacs Volume 1.

WARNING TO OUR READERS: Textmaniacs by its nature alone is full of Obscenities, Vulgarities, Violent Imagery, Drugs, Blasphemies, Drinking/ Booze, Anti Authority Themes (i.e. Fuck Cops in their Criminal Asses), and is Extremely Sexually Explicit. TEXTMANIACS is for OUR MOST DIEHARD FANS, all others need to think twice and very hard at that before continuing to read further. Thank You and Have A Splendid Day.

Les Sober: We’re so far out in the Woods we had to go old school and get a fucking land line.

SpaceDog: A Landline? Hmmm Should I send you a free AOL Dial Up Trial?

Les Sober: No Next I’m getting into Bootlegging Counterfeit Grits or invent GritShine, Moonshine derived from Grits.

SpaceDog: Ok I was completely different types are a bit of that shut shut shut shut shut down to get in on the water with me at the casino in a week trying PvP is it to be honest. Will also tell them they are a bit drunk in love and will also be there was an old people drink in celebration of me. Know a time pause onion on with a silver cock, Silver Cock, SILVER COCK in his mouth and the reason why the men, and will be a fugitive this is is guaranteed to get your ass flagged or vomit to get in with a Silver Cock in in his mouth, and I have, have, have a Citi MasterCard. The reasonI wanted you traveling journey with me emails from people bit drunk in luv with a Silver Cock in his mouth of a bit drunk too many of of the casino in a week trying PvP. Is it to be honest I was completely sober, but I’m not sure if you want to go to to go to to go to s and the reason I was, was an awkward pause awkward you are not, not or

Les: Did you say Fugitive Night at some fucking point?? Fugitive Night sounds liken of those Lady Porno Smut Books at the checkout line at the fucking grocery store LMFAO.

SpaceDog: Like the kind you used to have in your car? LOL

Les Sober: Thats Me Baby 55 years old, and Thats Me Baby.