Tag: thieves

Enough Of The Fucking Surfing The Dark Web Videos.

As We are all aware in the YouTube Universe there are a Myriad of Different Genres so Basically if You Name it and You can Find it. Ever since the General Public was made Aware of the Existence of the Dark Web People have become fucking Obsessed about it. And Why Not it’s in Our Nature to be Drawn to things that Mystify, Alarm Us, Scare Us, or is Dangerous/Forbidden/Taboo. At this Point in Time the Dark Web has a Reputation that’s Almost an Urban Legend unto Itself. Now the Dark Web Genre has remained Pretty fucking Popular and which has its Own Subgenres.

For Example the Dark Web Mystery Box Videos where a YouTuber Orders a Box Off the Dark Web with Unknown Contents. Then when it Arrives They Open it on Camera/Live Stream and Reveal the Contents of Said Box. There Also there are Cautionary Tales from of Dark Web in the form of Horror Stories, and These Stories have a rather fucking generic Template. These Stories are about Someone who went on the Dark Web, Fucked Around, and Subsequently Something Seriously fucked up Happened to Them. They’re Dark Web Educational Videos where a YouTuber Breaks Down the Levels of the Internet from the Surface Web to the Dark Web. They then Usual finish the Video Warning Against Ever accessing the Dark Web and that its Insanely Dangerous to fuck around with Period.

Today the Dark Web Subgenre We will be Addressing are the Plentiful Surfing the Dark Web Videos. These Type of Videos are Simplistic to make and Unfortunately They’re Basically fucking Identical to One Another. The Videos start with the YouTuber Hyping the Dangers of all the Crazy Shit found on the Dark Web. The YouTuber then talks about Security (VPN) and Software (Tor) You need or should have if You plan on Venturing onto the Dark Web. After that the YouTuber typically says some Corny shit like “So We’re going to Surf the Dark Web so You Don’t have to” and Off We go. The YouTuber Logs onto the Dark Web and Immediately Hits up Hidden Wiki and Explains that its like Wiki, but for Demented Dark Web Sites. Next thing after Hitting Up Hidden Wiki said YouTuber Scrolls around Listing the Usual Sick and Twisted Dark Web Sites or Topics that People are Fascinated with.

Here are the Aforementioned Popular Dark Web Topics/Sites/Subjects:

Let’s just Address the fucking Elephant in the Room First and Foremost. It’s fucking Revolting that the Largest Group of Scumfucks on the Dark Web are fucking Sleezy fucking Pedophiles. Due to the Utterly Insane Concentration of Pedophiles inhabiting the Dark Web means unfortunately the Largest Category on the Dark Web is Child Pornography (CP). In Our Opinion these Vile Motherfucking Pieces of Shit should be Hunted Down, Dragged Out into the Street, Exposed to the World/Community, Beaten Mercilessly, and then Publicly Executed with it being Streamed Live on the Internet, Shown in Real Time on TV, and Announced Play by Play on the Radio.

Another Big Time Dark Web Category is Drugs because People love Drugs. People love taking Drugs, Talking About Drugs, and Inventing/Finding New Drugs to Experiment with. As far as We are Concerned While it is Tempting to Attempt to Score Drugs Off the Dark Web from the Anonymity of Home, yet it’s an Absolutely Retarded thing to Do. With that Said We Believe Wholeheartedly that if You try to Score Drugs from the Dark Web 1 of 3 Things will Happen. First You get Ripped Off when You send the Funds and the Recipient Grabs the Cash and Vanishes. Second if You actually do Order Drugs off the Dark Web and Receive it in the Mail there is a HUGE chance that whatever the fuck was Sent is Fake or Contaminated (Example:The Addition of Fentanyl especially in Heroin). The Last Option is the Acceptation to The Rule Personifiedwhich would be if You order Drugs, Receive Them, and They are Real and Uncontaminated.

Now the Only Acceptation to the Rule when it came to Scoring Drugs Off the Dark Web was the Dark Web Site Known as Silk Road. Silk Road had a Unique insurance Policy when it came to Protecting the Customer as well as Their Cash. The Policy was Simple but Incredibly Effective as it Manifested in just One Singular Rule: Don’t Rip Off Silk Road’s Customers! To Enforce this Policy if a Dealer Stole Someones Cash or Sent Them Fake Shit or Total Garbage the Dealer in Question would be Banned from the Site Permanently. So why the fuck did the Various Drug Dealers Comply with this Policy? Well its an Easy Answer Silk Road was so Successful and Profitable Dealers Didn’t want to get Banned because They would lose a Major Source of Income.

Another sought after Dark Web Category is Guns because like Drugs People have an Intense Affinity for Firearms. The Odd thing about the Firearms Category is that in Reality it’s much Smaller than You would Think. Most of the Weapons Advertised for Sale are mainly Hand Guns, but once in a Blue Moon You can come Across Something Unusual and Completely Unrealistic such as an RPG (Rocket Propelled Grenade). Once again in Our Opinion if You Order a Gun off the Dark Web Chances are You’re going to get Ripped Off and That’s it. The Other Possibility is if You Buy a Gun off the Dark Web and it Arrives there is a Very Good Chance that it’s been Used in a Crime or Worse used in a Murder. If the Gun You Purchased has in fact been Used in a Crime or Homicide and the Authorities get involved that Crime/Murder You’ll be Held Responsible. It’s Extremely Hard to Claim Your Innocence if You’re in Possession of the Gun in Question.

There is Yet Another Hot Dark Web Topic which are the Hitman For Hire Sites. Now it’s Pretty fucking Safe to Assume that (even though it isn’t Out of the Realm of Possibility) these Sites are 100% Unadulterated Horseshit. As Far as We are Concerned these Sites are a Total fucking Scam. This is the Easiest fucking Way to Steal some Gullible Dipshit’s Money because all You have to do is Create the Site. Then You just List a Bunch of Sinister Services that are Complete Bullshit that’s made the fuck up or Stolen Straight out of a Shitty B Action Movie. These Sites make the Owners feel like Dark Web Badasses when in Reality They’re the People who got Picked On in High School. Not to Mention there is a Very Good Chance that the alleged Hitman besides being a Thief could be a Cop or Government Agent. The Authorities have been Known to Lurk on the Dark Web Posing as Hitmen to Entrap an Unknowing Idiot.

Speaking of People for Hire Off the Dark Web the Other Category besides Hitmen For Hire are the Hackers For Hire. This may seem More Tangible than trying to Hire a Real Life Hitman, but it is None the Less 99% Bullshit. Again More than Likely Your Money will be Stolen and that’s the End of That. There is also the Threat that a Hacker You communicate with or Hire could be a Shitbag Criminal who would end up Hacking You and Your Shit. Just like with the Hitmen For Hire the Hackers For Hire could Very Well be a Police Officer posing as a Hacker in which case Your getting Your ass Arrested. Now there is a SLIGHT Possibility that there are indeed Actual Real Hackers For Hire on the Dark Web, but They are damn near impossible to Locate in a Dark Web Sea of Scummy Shit filled with Fakes, Fraudsters, Thieves, and Scammers.

If there is a Number One Category that Contributes to the Urban Legend Reputation is the Mythical and Mysterious RED ROOMS. Red Rooms are something Straight Out of a Torture Porn Horror Movie where an Unknown Victim is Kidnapped and Held Captive. Then at a Predesignated Date and Time the Victim is Tortured and Killed in Real Time on a Dark Wed Livestream. No Matter What Red Rooms are Pay-Per-View, but that’s Not the Darkest Part of Red Rooms. Allegedly those who are into Red Rooms are able to Pay more then the Basic Viewing Fee for Certain Perks such as Being able to Instruct the Torturer to Preform Particular Acts (Example: Cut Off Nose, Break Legs, Kneecap Etc.). For all Their Ominous Show Boating and in spite that they are a Morbid Curiosity Not a Single fucking Real Red Room is Real, and there is Absolutely No proof or Evidence of any Actual Red Room EVER Existing. In Our Opinion the Bottomline is Red Rooms are just Horror Themed Nightmare Fuel for the Masses and are Fictitious as Unicorns.

The Point of it All is that Yes while there Plenty of Fake Shit run by Thieves on the Dark Web there are Serious fucked up Sites and even More fucked up Users. Bottomline if You wouldn’t Walk through a Shitty Neighborhood in the Middle of the Night without a Phone or Weapon then Stay the fuck Off the Dark Web.

It is What it Is,

 By Les Sober

We’re The Worst Superhero’s of All Time

My Wife and I had planned a Road Trip to get Out of Town for a While and to take a break from Life’s endless Trial, Tribulations, and General Horseshit. We board Our 4 Large Rottweilers at a Boarding Facility a Couple of Towns Over from Our little Neck of the Woods. We Board them since 4 Rottweilers on the Road in a fucking Hatchback would be an Insane Undertaking.

We loaded Up the Dogs and hit the Road headed to a Town a few over from us. It was a pleasantly sunny Day but Hot as a Motherfucker with a Humidity Index of 90%. My Wife was Driving and I saw mindlessly staring out the Window checking out the Scenery as We drove along to Our Destination.

Far down the Road almost almost out of Sight a Black SUV looking Vehicle that had pulled up in front of one of the Many Abandoned Buildings that Dot the Countryside, and all of a Sudden the Vehicle took off like a Bat Ot of Hell with its ass on Fire. The Vehicle quickly disappeared out of Sight and We continued Our uneventful Drive.

       

The Next thing I saw was truly one of those things that makes You think to Yourself What The Fuck s That About. As I was blankly staring at the Thick Woods that lined the side of the Road I saw a Man with a Shaved Head, Shirtless, with a Homeless Floridian Panhandler’s Tan, and carrying what appeared to be a Military Type Duffle Bad Deal slung over His Shoulder. He stuck out like the Preverbal sore fucking Thumb since We were in a long and virtually uninhabited stretch of Road with a Few scattered Houses spaced Out along it.

The weirdest fucking thing was this Guy was Walking Out of the Woods towards the Road. This normally wouldn’t concern Me in the Least as I have said We live in the Boonies so Seeing a Hunter decked out in Head to Toe Camo standing on the Side of the Road or walking out of the Woods is just Typical around here. This Guy wasn’t a Hunter in fact for all intensive  purposes He looked like a fucking Homeless Junkie.

Before I could even make  comment to My Wife about the Strange Junkie Emerging from the Woods We came around a Blind Curve, and there was the Black SUV Vehicle that had come to a COMPLETE dead Stop as if it was in a Parking Spot at some fucking Walmart. Since it was a Blind fucking curve there was 20 feet between Our car goin 50 miles an Hour or so (The Speed limit is 55 on that road, but as You can imagine People drive even Faster because they can’t seem to kill themselves fast enough.) and the Unknown Vehicle that was again at a DEAD STOP. I had just enough time to say My Wife’s Name and then all We could do is Prepare for Impact.

       

Our Lives didn’t flash before Our eyes, It wasn’t like being in a fucking Movie, and Nothing appeared to go into Slow Motion. I a split NANO SECOND I saw the Vehicle and thought Holy fucking Shit Their not Moving, and then just simply the word Fuck then We collided with the Rear End of the Vehicle in Question. We hit so fucking Hard not only did BOTH Air Bags Deploy they fucking Exploded filling the Car with a think Cloud of Chemical Dust that smelled like Burning Plastic. The Hood of the Car was crumpled all the way back to the base of the Shattered Windshield like a Crinkle Cut Fry.

The Dogs thank fucking God weren’t Hurt as They slammed against Each other and collapsed in a Heap all accept for Mama Dog who had been sitting between the Front seats so She could see out the Windshield. Mama Dog came flying forward between the Seats Head First towards the Windshield, and I stuck My Arm Out like a Toll Gate catching Her before She smacked into the Windshield or the Dash Board. Our Ears were ringing, We were uncontrollably shaking a good Bit, and Spent the first couple of Minutes trying to figure Out if We were in fact Dead. Luckily We were alive and Not seriously Hurt.

       

My Wife excited the Vehicle by Squeezing Herself out the Car door that at this point barely Opened enough for Her to do so. I checked on the Dogs who were handling the Accident far better it appeared than We Humans. I then had to Crawl out of the Car Window since My Door was so jacked the fuck up it Couldn’t Open not even a Crack. The Other driver walked Over to Us as I slid out of the Car Window, and looked as in Shock as We did as Everyone’s Adrenaline was Flowing like the fucking Mississippi River after a Major Down Pour. The Entire Engine lay Exposed to the Sun tilted to the Left, Anti Freeze along with Oil and Radiator Water were Draining Out Every fucking where. There was Shrapnel consisting of the Front Bumper, Head Lights, and Various Extraneous Debris splayed out across the Asphalt.

We established No One was seriously Hurt and as We stood there in Shock to the Point No One could Figure Out what to do Next. We finally Mentally collected Ourselves enough to think some what strait and knew We had to call the Police and then Our Insurance Company immediately. Before We could call the Cops a Gnarly Fire Fighter Rescue Pick Up Truck pulled up Behind Our Vehicle. The Truck was fucking Huge even by Truck standards and had Flashing Lights on Top with the Station Number in the Middle of a Badge Insignia (1211 by the way). The Driver was a rather Big Fellow decked out in Navy Blue Cargo Pants, Shit Kicker Boots, Navy T-shirt with The Fire Rescuer’s Emblem on it, and a Navy hat also sporting the Fire Rescue Logo.

       

The Fire Rescue Fellow showed up so Fast like I said We hadn’t even dialed the Police as We all were still Badly Shaken Up by what had just occurred. It turned Out there was another Young Man not looking a Day over 22 with the Fire Rescue Fellow who jumped out, threw on a Florescent Yellow Vest like the Road Construction Crews wear, and crossed to the Other side of the Road to Direct Traffic as the Vehicle We Hit was still parked in the road blocking the Entire Lane.

The Next to Show was the Ambulance and the EMTS who We informed were not needed at this Time as No One was Seriously Hurt nor Requesting Medical Attention. I’d like to pause here for a brief second. I fully fucking Believe there should be a 24 Hour Medical Consultation Law that Allows Victims of Car Accidents a FULL 24 Hours to Seek Treatment POST Accident. This is due to the Fact that with all the fucking Adrenaline and Sheer Shock of it All People aren’t aware of Injuries at the exact Time o the Crash. I mean unless Your Unconscious, Profusely Bleeding, have a Broken Limb, or are Trapped in the Wreck People always Dismiss the Paramedics. Then later when the Adrenaline and its wonderful knifing effects wear the hell off You start to become aware of all the Sore Muscles, Bruises, Scratches, and Cuts that You incurred in the Accident.

       

Now Back to Our Story.

Its at this Point The Story takes an Unforeseen Twist when the Fire Rescue Fellow asks My Wife and I if We saw the Bald Junkie Dude run into the Woods with something and then Run back out again. We told the Fire Rescue Fellow What We had seen and then told Him that after Impact We were to fucked in the Head to Notice what the fuck The Junkie did or didn’t do. I then informed the Fire Rescue Fellow of what I had seen before the collision. The Fire Rescue Fellow informed us the reason He had made it onto the Scene so Fast was the Next Car to come down the Road after Our accident was in fact His Brother who called Him Directly to report the Crash and let His Brother Know some Guy had run into the Woods to ditch Who Knows What. The Fire Rescue Fellow then told Us He would remain at the Crash Site because and I quote “Theres something Not right about those Guys.” referring to the Occupants of the Other Car.

The Other Driver walked up and instantly the Fire Rescue Fellow asked Her straight up what was it that the Guy hid in the Woods. She of course says She has No fucking Clue who He is or That She was picking Him Up. She went on to say the Other Woman in the Car who looked like Your Stereotypical Meth Addict was Her Best Friend who She hadn’t seen in 6 months (More than likely because the bitch was doing a 6 month bit in County Jail), and the Guy was Her Boyfriends who again She had No Clue about. This is a Classic Drug Addict explanation as its full of fucking Holes. The Fire Rescue Fellow tells the Woman The Police are in Route, and He’ll have Them bring a K-9 Unit out if Necessary. She stuck to Her story and things progressed.

       

A Actual Fire Truck showed Up, but since there was No Fire (Thank fucking God) there was No Need for Them so They left for Somewhere They were in fact Needed. As The Fire Truck was pulling away the Local Sheriff Patrol Cars pulled Up. The Sheriffs made Sure We were indeed Ok and Prceeded to Help Direct the increasing amount of Traffic that was backing Up as The Sheriffs Closed BOTH Lanes simultaneously. The Sheriffs also made sure No One tried to Leave the Scene of the accident, and to Insure there was No Physical Confrontation between those involved in the Accident.

I’m not gonna lie as I stood there watching things unfold I had to fight the Impulse to Run Over to the Other Vehicle (which was a Jeep it turned out not an SUV), and Beat the Holy fucking shit Out of the Junkie Dude since it was essentially His fault. If His filthy Drug Addled ass was being picked up on the side of the fucking Road by His Drug Addict supposed Girlfriend and the Other Driver NON of this Would have Happened.

By Now the Few scattered People living out that way had made Their way from Their Houses near by to the Accident Site, and We the Coolest Bunch of People they were the kind of People that restore Ones Lost Faith in Humanity that’s for sure. Everyone of Them asked if We were Ok, if We needed Anything, and Brought Not Just Us but Our Dogs Cold Bottles of Water. No joking here but These Good Samaritans were as concerned for Our Dog’s Welfare as much as Ours which I found to be utterly fucking Awesome.

       

My Wife at this Point was on the Phone reporting the Accident to Our insurance Company as I tended to the Dogs making sure They had Water and didn’t try and Jump out of the Car during all the commotion. I called My Mother who is My only relative around these parts and asked Her to come over and Pick Up the Poor Dogs since it was Hot and Humid as Hell. The Last fucking thing We needed was for a Dog to suffer a fucking Heat Stroke from baking in the Car now turned Oven. Thankfully She was at Home and ready to lend a Helping Hand however it was needed. She arrived about 23 minutes later and My Wife and I loaded Up the Four Dogs into Her Air Conditioned Car.

It was also at this point the Sheriffs made sure Everyone Stood Roadside as the Woods were Now Off Limits to Anyone Who wasn’t Law Enforcement. The Highway Patrol was called in to Deal with the Actual Accident and would be arriving shortly. Also I nice Older Man who Lived about 150 feet from the Accident Site told My Mother She could park in His Drive Way which was Shady and would keep Her out of The Polices Way. I walked down to His Driveway and He came out of His Workshop (Turns Out He’s a Welder among other things) with a Big Bowl of Fresh Cold Water for Our Dogs.

       

Time Passed as the Three Ring Circus of an Accident was in full Swing, and I couldn’t take the Dogs Home because the Highway Patrol would want My Account of the Accident. So I stood in this Nice Old Guy’s Front Year watching the Fiasco for a While. Eventually the Fire Rescue Fellow walked over to Me and Informed Me that The Deputy’s (Yet more Law Enforcement) had arrived and were currently in the Process of Arresting the Meth Head Girlfriend Passenger in the Jeep We hit because She had NOT One, BUT SEVERAL ACTIVE WARRANTS OUT FOR HER ARREST. So She was Off to Jail. I again won’t lie this Delighted Me because it was Her Scummy Junkie Boyfriend they were Picking Up.

Apparently I was told that Each Law Enforcement Agency had its Own Particular Role in this Situation. As I said earlier The Sheriff was there for the Initial Assessment and to Keep the Peace. The Highway Patrol was there sole for the Accident, and the Deputies were there to Arrest The Junkie’s Meth Mouthed Girlfriend so there were a lot of motherfuckers with Badges.

       

Another Development had occurred while My Wife was still Maning the Phones like a fucking Champ, and I was keeping My Mother and Dogs company while chatting with the Nice Older Man and His Adult Daughter. It just so happened there was a Petty Thief that had been operating in their Area Breaking into Vacation Houses, Boat Houses, Garages, Tool Sheds, Workshops, and Vehicles to Steal whatever They could. THIS was the reason for the Fire Rescue Fellows Diligence, and the subsequent interest of the Various Police Departments in the Bald Junkie fuck I had seen walking Out of the Woods before the Accident.

The Police had been actively searching the Woods and had located several Stashes of Peoples Personal Property that the Bald Son of a Bitch had STOLEN and then since obviously He didn’t have a Car Hid in the Woods to swing back and pick up at a Later Date. Of course the Entire Time the Two Druggie Scumbags are Lying every which way to avoid the Increasingly good Possibility They BOTH would End up in Jail by the End of it all. With His Meth Loving Girlfriend was taken into Custody and He was put in Handcuffs He shut right the fuck up. And Yes in the End the Bald Bastard turned out in a Scooby Doo Twist to be the Piece of Shit Revolting Robber so He went to Jail just like His Meth Hooker Looking Girlfriend. As it turned out The Last Person this Scumfucks Junkie Robbed was as it turned out the Nice Older Man’s Place as His Daughter had conferred with the Cops, and Identified several items that belonged to Her Father.

       

The Highway Patrol finished up all the bullshit Paper work and Sited the Driver of the Jeep with a Ticket and Court Summons for making an “Illegal Stop”, returned My Wife and My Drivers Licenses, and told Us That We were in No Way required to show up on the Jeep Drivers Court Date, BUT if We did it would Help Them Nail Her to the fucking Wall. So Yes We are going I think it will be nice to be in Court and NOT being the Defendant and of Course FUCK HER THE BATSHIT BITCH. Fuck Up My Plans and I’ll Fuck Up Your LIFE.

Then My Wife got a Ride Home with the Tow Truck Driver who had showed up while We were with the Highway Patrol. I rejoined My Mother in Her car and Took the Dogs on Home at Last. The SOLE thing that gave this Shit Cloud a Silver Lining was when the Deputy Officer made a point of telling Us that Not to take it the Wrong Way, But as Unfortunate as Our Accident Was and Giving that No One was Seriously Hurt Had in Fact “Solved a lot of Problems for Us.”

 (1)    (2)

SO there You have it My Wife and I are in fact Superhero’s. Superhero’s without ANY Super Powers or Crime Fighting Weapons (like Batman). No We just Drive Around and Stop Crime by  Crashing into Criminals. Then We simply  Wait for the Cops to Come and Arrest Them.  That would effectively make Us the WORST SUPERHEROES OF ALL TIME.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober (3)