Tag: time travel

FYB’s Friday Night Feature Film: Kung Fucking Fury!

Tonight We have Another Short Film from a Master of the Theater of the Absurd! This Mind Twisting Bit of Goodness is KUNG FURY (2015)  a Swedish Short Film Written and Directed By David Sandburg. KUNG FURY pays Homage to the Martial Arts Action Films from the 1980’s.

Plot Summery: Detective Kung Fury is Suddenly Struck By LIGHTING and Simultaneously BITTEN BY A COBRA giving Him Superior Kung Fun Skills. Kung Fury’s Partner was Sliced in Half  by RED NINJA Years Ago, BUT in 1985 after Beating a Rouge Robot Arcade Machine Kung Fury QUITES the Force. when Assigned a NEW PARTNER TRICERACOP.

In the Mean Time Adolf Hitler also Know as KUNG FUHRER jumps into the Timeline an KILLS The Police Chief!!! Kung Fury Intent on REVENGE has Computer Hacking Wiz HACKERMAN to teleport Him Back in Time TO KILL HITLER!!!

Kung Fury then Teams with NORSE GODS, FEMALE BARBARIAN VALKYRIES, and KATANA to go with Him to GERMANY to FINISH THE JOB OF MURDERING HITLER, and DESTROYING THE NAZI ARMY ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!

Hope You Enjoyed Tonight’s Kung Fu Fight Riddled- Time Line Through History -80’s Laced-Adventure in Absuridty .

Thanks for Viewing,

Presented By Les Sober  

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (25/365)

There was then a short “Intermission” that is if You call sitting in complete and utter darkness for 5 minutes while the Stage was being Reset. Lee was thinking to Himself in the meantime that while as Brutally Savage the Young Guy craping in a Bucket had some serious balls. That and the piece was far too long so He should consider using a Laxative next time to speed things along.

        

The Spot Light blaring back on like a Fucking Lighthouse. On Stage was a Man standing rigidly behind a Theremin (Thereminophone), and wearing a full head to toe Black Body Stocking.  The Body Stocking was decorated with Random Cliche Space shit in Dayglo Paint. A Pre Recorded Narration started to play from not a not so legit Sound System, but from a shitty 1980’s Boom Box at the back of the Room. Lee had to satisfy His curiosity and peered over His shoulder. Lee was delighted to discover to see He was exactly right about the BoomBox.

Then Bored sounding Narrator that was some Monotone Kid mumbling almost incoherently at points about Inner Dimensional Time Travel like one of those Fanatical Sci Fi assholes that argues in Klingon. Lee felt the Intro was Purely Self Indulgent because it was just Token Space Topics like Light Speed, Blackholes, Time Travel, Alternate Dimensions, Extraterrestrials, Worm Holes, and Life on Mars being rattled off by some thoroughly Uninterested Kid (who more than likely was the Performer’s actual Kid).

       

The Intro Recording ended and the Performer launched into a what can only be explained as Speed Metal on a Theremin. It totally blew Lee’s Balls Off. He just couldn’t get past how fucking Awesome the Performance actually was. He had thought it would just some Overindulgent Emo Loving Sci Fi Freaky  Nerd dredging on and on through what He would classify as “Musical Soundscapes” or something similar as fuck that it might be called.

After a Blistering Round of Theremin Speed Metal (as Lee was calling it) the Performer threw the Theremin over sending it crashing down to the Stage. It landed with deep and solid thud. Lee assumed this was the Theremin equivalent of a Metal Guitarist smashing Their Guitar at the end of a Song/Set. Lee found the Overturning of the Theremin to be the Icing on the Cake as far as He was concerned.

      

The next Act featured to Men wearing only Red 70’s Bicycle Shorts and matching Ted Nugent Halloween Masks. The Two Men stood facing one another from the Opposite Ends of a Large Inflatable Kiddie Pool. The Kiddie Pool was almost completely filled with an Unidentified Meat or Meat Product. It looked to be some shit ton of an unappetizing Canned Meat Product to Lee making Him a bit Queasy.

Then a Song from a particular Monty Python Skit featuring Spam started playing from the Boombox in the back “Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam….” as the Two apparent Advisories swayed Side to Side switching Their weight from Foot to Foot eyeing each other up. The Song then arrived at an Audio Clip of Dialog (also from the the Skit) which had be Edited in Exclaimed “But I DON’T LIKE SPAM!” the Two Performers Lunged at One Another as They entered the Kiddie Pool to engage in Battle.

        

Stay Tuned Kiddies for the Next Deviant Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (26/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

System Recovery

If you had a button to press in your life where you could go back to any different point, where would you go???? Who would you be with??? Where would you be going???

I’ve thought about this one quite a bit because of a dream I had today. It was really devoid of almost all detail. It was me and 3 other people whose faces I could not see running through a field.

In the past, I would have thought that these 3 people were some of the men I’ve dated, had relationships with from my past. At other times I thought these were people from the future. But the more I think about it and realize it does not matter where they come from.
It is just a dream and the main thing behind it is the happiness, the feeling of carefree, not trying to analyze the who/what/where/whens of the situation.

I do not know where I would push this button because every person who has crossed my path, well if I thought of them they each would have their own button in my heart. The only people whose buttons would intercept would be 2 hot guys from a threesome or people whom I had only met at a concert or on vacation. The people closest to me and my soul and my being and my heart well…….

There would be no one place….there would be innumerate multiple places.

I mean sure for selfish reasons, I might choose to go back to a place where I had tons of money or I had naivety in love. These might not be satisfying to me now though because everything changes. I’m sure if I could go back to when I was 18 I probably would bitch slap myself and start screaming, “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU???!!!”. That actually might be fun as long as I didn’t scar the future me that is currently writing this schlep.

Honestly though this is probably a cop out but I would go back to one of my favorite concerts of all time (there have been several) and I would bring all of my closest friends throughout the years. And they would all get along. And run across the fields in bliss. It would be just like my dream. Only with audio.

 By SpaceDog

System Recovery

If you had a button to press in your life where you could go back to any different point, where would you go???? Who would you be with??? Where would you be going???

I’ve thought about this one quite a bit because of a dream I had today. It was really devoid of almost all detail. It was me and 3 other people whose faces I could not see running through a field.

In the past, I would have thought that these 3 people were some of the men I’ve dated, had relationships with from my past. At other times I thought these were people from the future. But the more I think about it and realize it does not matter where they come from.

It is just a dream and the main thing behind it is the happiness, the feeling of carefree, not trying to analyze the who/what/where/whens of the situation.

I do not know where I would push this button because every person who has crossed my path, well if I thought of them they each would have their own button in my heart. The only people whose buttons would intercept would be 2 hot guys from a threesome or people whom I had only met at a concert or on vacation. The people closest to me and my soul and my being and my heart well…….There would be no one place….there would be innumerate multiple places.

I mean sure for selfish reasons, I might choose to go back to a place where I had tons of money or I had naivety in love. These might not be satisfying to me now though because everything changes. I’m sure if I could go back to when I was 18 I probably would bitch slap myself and start screaming, “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU???!!!”. That actually might be fun as long as I didn’t scar the future me that is currently writing this schlep.

Honestly though this is probably a cop out but I would go back to one of my favorite concerts of all time (there have been several) and I would bring all of my closest friends throughout the years. And they would all get along. And run across the fields in bliss. It would be just like my dream. Only with audio.

By SpaceDog  

T.R. McCoy The Man, The Myth, The Monster

The following newspaper article was published in the Podunk County Chronicle on December 9th 1913 on the 25th anniversary of T.R. McCoy’s disappearance.

T.R.McCoy was one of the most controversial figures in American history that you’ve never heard of. T.R. McCoy was an anthropologists, successful sociologist, and the pioneering founder of the scientific field of cryptozoology, who one cold winter night after leaving a fundraiser for his next expedition (to the tropical islands in the Arctic Circle) heavily drunk and aggravated, vanished leaving only his left black leather glove upon the stair of the Naturalist Park on December 9th, 1888.

During his prolific and troubled carrier T.R.McCoy won several Nobel prizes for pioneering the field of cryptozoology in 1818, and for advancements in the field of sociology (in 1817, 1821 and 1833)

T.R.McCoy also had a plethora of criminal court cases for example the multiple charges of exploitation and detriment to the indigenous tribes people he studied. Once T.R.McCoy disappeared from the face of the earth; the flood gates for conspiracy theorists were opened. People formulated theories such as: The Vatican had him assassinated. Could it have been, that one of his 17 ex-wives/mistresses killed him in a crime of passion unable to tolerate his penchant for womanizing? Was it that T.R.McCoy faked his own death to escape from public controversy and legal prosecution? Did McCoy run off to one of his exotic locations and was eaten by vengeful cannibals whose ancestors McCoy swindled into becoming cheap slave labor.  Others hypothesized McCoy fell victim to a revenge bent supernatural specter from beyond the grave seeking retribution. Some said it was an alien abduction, but at the same time others wondered if McCoy himself was in fact an alien or perhaps a human-alien hybrid. Some in the general community believe McCoy, through his advanced knowledge of physics and the time space continuum, opened a portal to escape the chaos of his career and the turmoils of his personal life by entering another unknown dimension. Some other people think McCoy was employed by a government agency working on top secret project (McCoy was working with the military but the all the files are still to this day remain classified) and simply knew to much so he was effectively “Taken Out”
The more likely reality is that a fellow competitor (and there were plenty) murdered him out of jealously or retribution for McCoy destroying their careers, as he was known to do if for any reason big or small if he disliked you. More probable causes for McCoy’s disappearance also include being killed by a nefarious person from the criminal underworld due to an outstanding gambling debt. McCoy was a notorious gambler who would bet on anything just to make a wager. McCoy could have just as easily dropped his glove as he staggered down the park stairs intoxicated (as his penchant for drink was legendary), stumbled off into the park, and accidentally fell into the Elli river that runs through the park.
No body was ever found even after an extensive 93 day search. In the end we can only speculate and must be ready to acknowledge the fact that the world may never know what really happened to T.R.McCoy the man, the myth, the monster.