Tag: tofu

F to the U to the C to the K

I have to vent some as I’ve got that fucked up feeling like I’m actually going insane.

I can fucking feel It.

I fucking fear It.

I fucking am It.

FUCK IT BEGINS:

Fuck The Bullshit.  Fuck Them. Fuck Money.  Fuck Pharmaceuticals.

Fuck Taxes. Fuck Censorship.  Fuck Salt.  Fuck Bills.

Fuck Organized Religion.  Fuck Politicians.  Fuck The Police.  Fuck Poverty.

Fuck Sexism.  Fuck Fast Food.  Fuck Nazi Scum.  Fuck Homophobes.

Fuck Fox News.  Fuck Trump,  Fuck Driver’s Licenses.  Fuck War.  Fuck Aids.

Fuck Abstinence.  Fuck Ignorance.  Fuck The GOP.  Fuck Fear.

Fuck Pollution.  Fuck Hunting.  Fuck Hypocrisy.  Fuck Half Assed.

Fuck Insurance Companies.  Fuck Hospitals.  Fuck Opioid Pain Killers.

Fuck Flakka.  Fuck Bath Salts.  Fuck Pot Prohibition.  Fuck Order.

Fuck Power.  Fuck The Elite.  Fuck Fake. Fuck Rape.

Fuck Crime. Fuck Society. Fuck The Legal System. Fuck Washington.

Fuck Florida. Fuck Capitalism. Fuck Sports. Fuck The Education System.

Fuck Alex Jones.  Fuck Sarah Sanders. Fuck Ben Carson. Fuck Devos.

Fuck Paul Ryan. Fuck Bill O’Reilly. Fuck Sean Spencer. Fuck Kavanaugh.

Fuck Big Business. Fuck Trade Wars. Fuck Tax Breaks For Wealthy Cunts.

Fuck Doctors. Fuck Ego. Fuck Critics. Fuck Dictators. Fuck Fascists.

Fuck The System. Fuck The Man. Fuck Authority. Fuck Racism.

Fuck Scott Pruitt. Fuck Mitch “The Bitch” McConnell. Fuck Mike Pence.

Fuck AR-15’s. Fuck Mass Shootings. Fuck Anti-Semitism. Fuck Intolerance.

Fuck Bordom. Fuck Fun. Fuck Work. Fuck 401 ks. Fuck Cubicles.

Fuck Animal Abuse. Fuck Elder Abuse. Fuck Child Abuse. Fuck Lawyers.

Fuck CEOs. Fuck FaceBook. Fuck The Internet. Fuck Bullying.

Fuck Melania Trump. Fuck The Entire Trump Family Tree. Fuck Them All.

Fuck Jared Kushner. Fuck Jeff Flake. Fuck Susan Collins. Fuck Lawrenceville.

Fuck Hate. Fuck Anger. Fuck Depression. Fuck Dispare. Fuck Injustice.

Fuck ICE. Fuck Bias. Fuck TV. Fuck Apps. Fuck “Ask Your Doctor”. Fuck Debt.

Fuck Attitude. Fuck Conforming. Fuck The Powers That Be. Fuck Oil.

Fuck Putin. Fuck Gluten. Fuck Kimmy Jong-un. Fuck Pop Punk.

Fuck Ratings. Fuck The American Dream. Fuck Us All. Fuck It To Hell.

Fuck The Oscars. Fuck The Kardashians. Fuck NJ Shore Cast. Fuck Pandora.

Fuck Siri. Fuck Alexa. Fuck Apple. Fuck Bill Gates. Fuck SmartPhones.

Fuck Scams. Fuck SUVs. Fuck YouTube. Fuck Hollywood. Fuck Unoriginality.

Fuck Mundane. Fuck The Norm. Fuck Uber. Fuck Entitlement.

Fuck The Rich. Fuck Nationalists. Fuck Fine Art. Fuck Wine Snobs.

Fuck Foodies. Fuck Hipsters. Fuck Millennials. Fuck Procrastination.

Fuck Failure. Fuck Job Interviews. Fuck Public Opinion. Fuck People.

Fuck Podcasts. Fuck Materialism. Fuck Consumerism. Fuck Restrictions.

Fuck Rules. Fuck The Proud Boys. Fuck Tucker “Fucker” Carlson.

Fuck Sean “The Shithead” Spencer. Fuck Reboots. Fuck McMansions.

Fuck Desperation. Fuck Misery. Fuck Agony. Fuck Pain. Fuck Sadness.

Fuck Conflict. Fuck Hate. Fuck Love. Fuck Humanity. Fuck The World.

Fuck North Korea. Fuck Saudi Arabia. Fuck Terrorists.

Fuck Domestic Terrorism. Fuck The NRA. Fuck Teddy Nugent.

Fuck Roseanne Barr. Fuck Fox Friends. Fuck Kid “Rap” Rock.

Fuck Contracts. Fuck Banks. Fuck The Stock Market. Fuck Exclusion.

Fuck Apartheid. Fuck Lies. Fuck Deceit. Fuck Disloyalty. Fuck Traitors.

Fuck Fair Weather Fans. Fuck Advertising. Fuck Fashion. Fuck Cosmetics.

Fuck limitations. Fuck Child Molesters. Fuck Evangelicals.

Fuck Steve Bannon. Fuck Steve Miller. Fuck Lesly Graham.

Fuck Netflix. Fuck Macho. Fuck Bravado. Fuck Self Centeredness.

Fuck Corruption. Fuck Fraud. Fuck Luxury. Fuck TMZ. Fuck Country Rock.

Fuck Pro Life. Fuck Big Tobacco. Fuck Ramen Noodles. Fuck Obedience.

Fuck Tofu. Fuck Disco. Fuck Expectations. Fuck Curry. Fuck Kale.

Fuck The 90’s. Fuck Political Correctness. Fuck Orthodox.

Fuck Conventional. Fuck Crowds. Fuck Frats. Fuck Collage Sports.

Fuck Commercial Endorsements. Fuck Internet Fame. Fuck Stupidity.

Fuck Ignorance. Fuck The Box. Fuck Diets. Fuck Doctors. Fuck Credit Cards.

Fuck Cell Phone Providers. Fuck Roaming. Fuck Flying. Fuck Security.

Fuck Contradiction. Fuck Two Facedness. Fuck Cliches. Fuck Fads.

Fuck Popularity. Fuck Success. Fuck Protocol. Fuck The Standards.

Fuck Viral Videos. Fuck Stainless Steel Appliances. Fuck Garbage Disposals.

Fuck Home Owners Associations. Fuck Idiocy. Fuck Cancer.

Fuck Heart Disease. Fuck Imitations. Fuck Wannabes. Fuck Lemmings.

Fuck The Hype. Fuck Acceptance. Fuck Star Bucks. Fuck On Line  Shopping.

Fuck Drones. Fuck Robots. Fuck Artificial Intelligence. Fuck Domestication.

Fuck Elon Musk. Fuck Collage Tuitions. Fuck Tests. Fuck Evaluations.

Fuck Envy. Fuck Jealousy. Fuck The DMV. Fuck Public Transportation.

Fuck Movie Theaters. Fuck Amusement Parks. Fuck Disney.

Fuck Time. Fuck The Inevitable. Fuck Fate. Fuck Extinction. Fuck Fuck.

Fuck Interior Design. Fuck Radio. Fuck Desire. Fuck Temptation. Fuck Sex.

Fuck Infomercials. Fuck Propaganda. Fuck The Bullshit. Fuck Sarah Sanders.

Fuck Reality. Fuck Fiction. Fuck Spam (Mail). Fuck Tourists. Fuck Vaping.

Fuck Conspiracy Theories. Fuck Pretense. Fuck Definition.

Fuck Classification. Fuck Indifference. Fuck Schtick. Fuck Arrogance.

Fuck Ikea. Fuck Burning Man. Fuck Fees. Fuck Mensa. Fuck NASA.

Fuck Vegans. Fuck Celebrity Chefs. Fuck Mixology.

Fuck Pomp and Circumstance. Fuck Folly. Fuck Gasoline. Fuck Ivy League.

Fuck Superiority. Fuck The Majority. Fuck The Flock. Fuck Followers.

Fuck “Likes”. Fuck The Flue. Fuck Double Standards. Fuck Exclusivity.

Fuck Wealth. Fuck Fame. Fuck Fortune. Fuck Disbelief. Fuck Shock and Awe.

Fuck Fanatics. Fuck Zealots. Fuck Day Dreams. Fuck Salesman.

Fuck Pressure Sales. Fuck False Apologies. Fuck Cheating. Fuck Giving Up.

Fuck Whining. Fuck Bitching. Fuck Lamenting. Fuck Complaining.

Fuck Excuses. Fuck Reason. Fuck The Past. Fuck Fuck Ups. Fuck The Upside.

Fuck Feelings. Fuck Loss. Fuck Death. Fuck Life. Fuck Institutions.

Fuck Organization. Fuck Fault. Fuck Instability. Fuck Box Stores.

Fuck Self Check Out. Fuck Contradiction. Fuck Smartphone Games.

Fuck The End. Fuck The Beginning. Fuck Mark Zuckerberg.

Fuck George “Corpse Grinder” Fisher. Fuck American Idol.

Fuck Reality Shows. Fuck Greed. Fuck Contempt. Fuck Regret. Fuck Ethics.

Fuck Dennis Miller. Fuck Kellyann Conway. Fuck Artificial Shit.

Fuck Imposters. Fuck False Profits. Fuck Weaponizing Holy Scriptures.

Fuck the Repetitive. Fuck Designer Dogs. Fuck Child Beauty Pageants.

Fuck Concern. Fuck Gamers. Fuck Emo. Fuck PG-13. Fuck Merchandise.

Fuck Malls. Fuck Billboards. Fuck HBO. Fuck Amazon. Fuck Walmart.

Fuck Monopolies. Fuck Privatized Prisons. Fuck Fines.

Fuck Eating Horse Meat. Fuck Whale Hunting. Fuck Big Game Hunting.

Fuck Boarders. Fuck Land Ownership. Fuck The Government. Fuck The FCC.

Fuck The IRS. Fuck Exploitation. Fuck Drama. Fuck Fuckers. Fuck Hunger.

Fuck Knock-Offs. Fuck Non Alcoholic Beer. Fuck The “It Place”.

Fuck Internet Challenges. Fuck Posers. Fuck Light Weights.

Fuck The Mainstream.

Well I feel a bit better so back to The Grind.

Thanks for Reading,

   Les Sober

The Latest News From Nowhere Special

This post is a Hats Off Tribute to Our favorite Small Independent BiWeekly Publication “The Dullard’s Digest” out of  La Plant South Dakota with a Sparse Population of just 105.

The “The Dullard’s Digest” covers all things La Plant such as local happenings, community news, local government, Schools/Churches/Obituaries/Weddings, and all various local Odds and Ends such as The Yearly County Fair and the like.

Specifically for this post We decided to Showcase the Unusually Unique Advertisements found within the “The Dullard’s Digest” which are truly in a League of Their Own.

(If you make a reference to the movie Kill Yourself for High Crimes and Misdemeanors of And OR Being FUCKING LAME.)

So Let Us Begin With………

 

Pickler Pete’s Pickled Emporium

“Your Source For All Your Pickled Needs!”

Breakfast Bonanza Special:

1  Gallon of Edger’s Edibles Pickled Eggs,

1 Gallon Of Bryan Brine’s Pickled Sausages

And 1 Gallon of Vinegar Vally’s Pickled Pork Hocks

for The LOW, LOW PRICE OF $59.99

Introducing Pickled Pete’s BRAND NEW Luscious ALL VEGAN Line of Pickled  FRUITS AND VEGETABLES:

” A FINE BRINE VEGAN” AVAILABLE NOW!! Guaranteed to be Green as fuck.

BOGO SALE! Quart Jar of Pickled Top Self Tofu for Just $9.99 HOW DEVINE!

Pickled Products make Kids Happy, Hearty, and Healthy! Puts MAD HAIR on Your Chest AND Genitals! Excellent Prevention for ANY and ALL of Ass Caners (Domestic OR Imported!) Stops Dolphin Rape, and aids The Coalition   of Children Around The World Without Cocaine.

Try Our Pickler Pete’s Lovely Line of Pickled Goods for SENIORS! 4.25 Pound Jar of Pickled Prunes just $19.99 This Weekend ONLY!!

Clearance! Get 10 for $10 Get 10 lb. of Pickled Beets for $10!

 

The BarFly Bar and Lounge

Here’s Our Weekly Drink Special Run Down For This Week!

Mad Dog Mondays- Glass of Mad Dog 20/20 Fortified Wine for $1.50

MD 20/20 Flavors:  Dragon Fruit, Purple Rain, Tangerine Dream, Banana Red, Peaches & Cream, Blue Raspberry, Buck Bunny, Cranberry, Electric Melon, Key Lime Pie, Kiwi Lemon, Lemon Ice, Orange Jubilee, Red Grape, Spiked Melon, Sour Apple, and Strawberry Kiwi.

Tequila Me Tuesday: $3 2 for 1 Shots of Pepe Lopez, Montezuma, & El Toro

Wet Your Whistle’s BEER BELLY BAR (All Beer Bar) with Specials On

Pitcher of Bud Light and Clamato $2.50

Bucket of Natty Ice or Natty Light for $6.00 (# of Cans 12)

24 oz Beers for a Buck: This week featuring Schlitz, Rolling Rock, & Olympia

40 0z Thursday Specials: Get a 40. oz of  Colt .45, Old English 800, King Cobra, or  St.Ides  for $1.99!

FUBAR Fridays: MOON”Motherfucking”SHINE will put a smile on your face!

$12 Standard Mason Jars of:  Proof Positive (609 Proof)

White Lightning White Whisky (619 Proof)

Ilikea Opossum Paul’s Moonshine Vodka (732 Proof)

RumRunner’s Moonshine Rum (882 Proof)

AND

Jimmy Crackcorn’s Corn Rye Moonshine. (976 Proof)

ALL DAY EVERCLEAR SPECIAL Evercleaf Cocktail $3.75

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND……

SUPER SHOT Saturdays featuring Shot Specials!!!

.50 Cent Shots of Mr. Boston Blackberry Brandy, Canadian Club, Monarch Gin, and Old Grand-Dad

3 Finger for $3 Special on Oro Tequila, Gordon’s Gin or Southern Host

“God Save Me! “Sunday Hangover Breakfast is BACK AGAIN!

For all those idiots who drank their asses off the night before The Barfly offers a particular Breakfast known for its alleged Cure to the Hell of the Next Day’s Hangover, HAVE NO FEAR BARFLY SUNDAY BREAKFAST IS HERE!

This Week on the Menu- The Old Timer Special!

Consisted of:  12 oz Shank Steak, Spam Hash w/ Bacon, and 2 Slices of Pork Roll.

Served with a Side of Scrapple, a Pickler Pete’s 1,000 Year Old Pickled Egg

AND a 32 oz. PBR (Can) FOR ONLY $2.99!!!!

The Weisenheimer Theater and Movie Exchange:

Saturday Night Slaughterfest Featuring some of Your FAVORITE B-Horror Slasher Films!

This Weeks Triple Feature is:

“Shoot My Face Off I Like It” From the Demented Director of Denmark Emil Mikkel

“Disembowel Me as I Giggle” from Redound Japanese Horror Fanatic Akasuki Hiromasa

AND

“Copulating With Corpses” The U.S. Version of “Necrophilia Nights” from The Infamously Dark and Disturbed mind of Lithuania’s Master of Sheer Terror Von Dire

SHOW STARTS PROMPTLY AT THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT. COME IF YOUR DARE, BUT YOU MAY NOT LIVE TO TELL THE TALE!

FOREIGN FILM FRIDAYS featuring the finest Foreign Films from Liechtenstein, Guam, Antartica, Mongolia, South Africa, Fiji, and Turkey JUST FOR STARTERS!!

ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW AT MIDNIGHT EVER SUNDAY ALL YEAR!

AND REMEMBER Tuesday Night Troma is BACK AND BAD ASS!

 

All Troma Movies All Day Dawn to Dusk: Inquire about our Enema Express Pass Today and don’t miss a single moment of Troma’s Famous GORE! NUDITY! SEX JOKES! PUKE,PISS,and SHIT! All in the Name of Independent Cinema for OVER 42 YEARS and COUNTING! (Show Times: 1st Film Starts when the Theater Opens and Over after the Last one Plays before Closing!)

 Coming Next TUESDAY!!!

 COMING NEXT MONTH!

AND BE SURE NOT TO FORGET THE Weisenheimer’s WISEAU WEDNESDAY!

Every Wednesday This Year there will 6 showings (9am, 12 noon, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm and 12am) of the Notoriously Shitty Movie “The Room” by The Mysterious Tommy Wiseau.

“The Room” has been called by many The Worst Movie EVER MADE!

“The Room” had Movie Theaters posting “NO REFUNDS FOR THIS MOVIE” posters!

“The Room” One Critic’s Review Read “Watching This Movie is like Stabbing Yourself in the Brain REPEATEDLY!”

COME ONE, COME ALL Join us in the Rising Cult Following of Wiseau and “The Room”

Those were the ones we selected. Perhaps one day We will do this again, but Dunno.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober