Tag: troma movies

FYB’s Fabulously Fucked Up Friday Night Film: TERROR FIRMER!!!

Welcome to FYB’s Fucked Up Friday Film is Proud to Present TROMA ENTERTAINMENT’s 1999 Horror Comedy Cult Classic the One and Only “TERROR FIRMER!!!

           

Terror Firmer is Directed by Independent Film Icon, and Troma Co-Founder Lloyd Kaufman. The Movie features several Direct References to Previous Troma Movies such as THE TOXIC AVEGER, and Includes Infamously Famous Troma Props like the “Penis Monster” from Troma’s Movie “TROMEO AND JULIET”. Terror Firmer is Loosely Based on James Gunn (who is one of Troma’s few Actual Employees and Writers of Terror Firmer) and Lloyd Kauffman’s Book Titled: All I Need To Know About Filmmaking I Learned from the Toxic Avenger.

Brief Plot Summery: Terror Firmer is the Story of a Low-Budget Film Crew in New York, led by Their Insane and Egotistical BLIND Director Larry Benjamin (Played by Lloyd Kauffman Himself) , who is Trying to Create a Cinematic Masterpiece. In Addition to the Typical Trials, Tribulations, and Travails of working on a Troma Set, the Crew Members are being MURDERED  by a SEXUALLY CONFLICTED HOMICIDAL SERIAL KILLER!

           

Terror Firmer Centers Mainly on Production Assistant Jennifer, who Struggles to do Her Job while trying to Decide between the Two Men in Her Life; the Strait Laced Boom Operator Casey, and the Rebellious Special Effects Operator Jerry. The Love Triangle Intensifies as the DEAD BODIES START TO MOUNT with Increasing BRUTALITY! The Entire Film Crew must Band Together (both Physically and Sexually) Against the Mortal Threat in Their Midst in this Movie within a Movie. Enjoy.

[NOTE To The Viewer: We were Only Able to Locate Two Free Copies of Terror Firmer the First of Which was Completely  CENSORED. Cencorship is fucking UnAmerican, and Something Troma has Stood Against for  Decades.   The Version of Terror Firmer Featured here is the Second Free (and UNCENSORED Version of the Film) which unfortunately comes with Annoyingly Extraneous Sub Titles Which You’ll have to Turn Off Manually.]

We Hope You Enjoyed this Tale of Troma and The Psychotic Transexual as Much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

  Presented by Les Sober

FYB’s Friday Midnight Movie By Troma Entertainment : The Toxic Avenger!

FYB could be any More Thrilled than We are to Present Troma Entertainment’s Cult Classic Superhero Black Comedy Splatter Horror Film THE TOXIC AVENGER!!!

The Toxic Avenger was Directed by Troma Founders Micheal Herz and Lloyd Kaufman and Released by Troma Entertainment in 1984. Troma has since  Built it’s Legendary Reputation as The Kings of Independent Cinema, and Cult Following of Fans Producing LOW BUDGET B-MOVIES with CAMPY CONCEPTS, JUVENILE HUMOR, and OUTRAGEOUSLY GRUESOME VIOLENCE!

               

Plot Summery:

Melvin Ferd is a Stereotypical 98 pound Nerd weakling who works as a Janitor at a Local Gym in the Fictional Town of Tromaville, New Jersey, where the Gym Rat Jocks-particular Bozo, Slug, Wanda, and Julie- Harass Him Relentlessly.  Melvin’s Tormentors get increasingly More and More Violent, even DELIBERATELY KILLING a YOUNG BOY on a Bike as Part of a Game while Driving around Town Getting Wasted. After The Gang hits the Young Boy They Stop to take Pictures of The CARNAGE as They Laugh at The DEAD BOY’S MANGLED AND LIFELESS CORPSE!

One Day Melvin is tricked during a Prank into wearing a Pink Tutu and Kissing a Sheep before being chased around by a Crowd of Laughing Gym Goers. Melvin Ends up Jumping through a Second Story Window and Landing Head First into a Drum of TOXIC WASTE! Melvin covered in Toxic Waste Residue BURSTS INTO FLAMES sending Him Screaming Down the Street IN HORROR. Melvin runs Home and seeks Refuge and Relief in His Bathtub, BUT the Toxic Chemicals TRANSFORM Melvin into s HIDEOUSLY DEFORMED MONSTER OF HUMAN SIZE AND STRENGTH!

            

A Gang of Drug Dealers, led by the Criminal Cigar Face, are harassing a Police Officer by the Name of O’Clancy, Trying to Buy Him Off, But O’Clancy Refuses Their Bride. Suddenly The Toxic Avenger appears Out of Nowhere and VIOLENTLY KILLS THE CRIMINALS! Only Cigar Face manages to Escape with His Life and Swears Revenge on The Toxic Avenger No Matter What.

Melvin returns Home, but His Mother is Terrified by His Appearance, and Refuses to let Melvin in the House. So Melvin- Publicly Dubbed “THE MONSTER HERO”(also know as Toxic Avenger or Toxie for Short.) and is Hailed as a Hero. Toxie retreats to the Tromaville Junkyard and Builds a Makeshift Home to Live In.

Elsewhere in Tromaville, a Street Gang are Holding Up a Mexican Restaurant and ATTACK a Blind Woman Named Sarah. They Gang KILLS SARAH’S GUIDE DOG, But Before Things get Worse for Sarah The Toxic Avenger Arrives. The Toxic Avenger precedes to WREAK BLOODY VENGEANCE on the Gang of Street Thugs. The Toxic Avenger continues to Fight Crime, including DRUG DEALERS, PEDOPHILE PIMPS, and He Also Takes His REVENGE on the Four Tormentors who caused His Transformation.

           

As The Toxic Avenger Gives Aid Helping the People of Tromaville, Mayor Belgoody, the Leader of Tromaville’s Extensive Crime Ring, Fearing being Caught Belgoody sends a Goon Squad lead by Cigar Face to Kill Toxie, But They Fail Miserably, and End Up Accidentally Killing Each other.

When The Toxic Avenger is Accused of MURDERING a Seemingly Innocent Old Lady in a Dry Cleaning Store (Who just so happens to be the Leader of an UNDERGROUND HUMAN TRAFFICKING RING), Belgoody uses the Opportunity to Call in The National Guard. The Toxic Avenger goes into Hiding afraid of what He has Become that is Until The Mayor and National Guard Hunt Toxie Down Trapping Him. As The National Guard prepares to Open Fire On Toxie the Citizens of Tromaville unite to Defend Their Beloved Monster. The MAyor’s Evil ways are Revealed, and The Toxic Avenger RIPS OUT BELGOODY’S ORGANS to see if He has “Any Guts”. The Toxic Avenger Then reassures the Citizens that He will Continue to Fight Crime, and Protect Tromaville from Evil.

Hope You Enjoyed Troma’s Toxic Tale of Terror as  Much as We Did/Do.

Thanks for Watching,

  Presented by Les Sober

FYB’s Friday Night’s Insane Cinima

Welcome One and All to Tonight’s FYB Friday Night’s Insane Cinima Tonight We have a VERY SPECIAL TREAT and What is It?!

It’s The Icon of Independent Film for Over 45 Years Straight from HELL’S KITCHEN NYC it’s Troma Picture’s

For Over 45 Years Troma Founders the Legendary KINGS OG CULT FILMS Lloyd Kauffman and Micheal Hurtz have been making Independent Films Their Way with No Regrets. Troma has become a Unstoppable Phenomenon all Its Own bringing Audiences Films They might NEVER Otherwise have a Chance to See to Their Own Unapologetic Fuck You Hollywood Brand of Horror /Comedy Films. Troma’s Movies have Gained a Reputation among Cinephiles for They’re No Hold Barred Brand of  Juvenile Humor, Over the Top Gore, and Alternative Comedy.

       

Plot Summery: Troma High School located in Tromaville NJ next to a Nuclear Power Plant has a Problem. An accident at the Next Door Nuclear Plant has caused TOXIC RADIOACTIVE SLUDGE to Slowly Seep Out into the Surrounding Town of Tromaville!!! Over Night the Nerdy Straight A Honor Society transforms into a Violent Drug Dealing Gang of Law Breaking Thugsknow as The CRETINS! The Creatins start Peddling Their own Special Strain of Pot around School (which is Hydrated by The Leaking TOXIC NUCLEAR RUN OFF!!!). Then the Students at Troma High Suddenly  start to MUTATE INTO SEX STARVED PSYCHOS!!! Not to mention the SLIME COVERED MURDEROUS CREATURE thats Hunting for Human Victims in the Hallways.

The Class of Nuke ‘Em High has be Referred to as “Like The Breakfast Club, Only Not as Stupid, and Really, Really Drunk.”

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MOVIE CONTAINS CONTENT THAT SOME VIEWERS MAY FIND OFFENSIVE. VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED. Enjoy.

Hope You Enjoyed Tonights Circus of The Insane Meets The Theater of The Absurd.

 Brought to You by Les Sober (1:55 am)

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (8/365)

I apologize that this post is quite a bit late. It’s currently 12:11am. By current Standards that technically Tomorrow so I neglected to get this so called Daily Post in by the Midnight Deadline. I personally think Midnight is far to early to Count as the Next Day. I believe that time is 3:00am. Some Say Six but that Midnight’s exact extreme Opposite. I will try to adhere to th Rules I set for Myself regarding this Mishap.

   

Shane reached Check Out, and unceremoniously tossed the Dildo onto the Counter. It appeared to Lee that Shane still had something to say on the matter at hand so He decided to engage Shane a bit further to satiate His growing Curiosity.

You see Lee had taken Note when Shane had Dropped the Name Lester Sane as Lee Himself was in fact a Huge Fan of (In)Sane Movies which was Lester Sane’s Production Company. Lee couldn’t pass up a chance to pick Shane’s Brain to find out all He could about one of His Cinematic Heroes.

“Hey Bud I couldn’t help but hear that You work for Lester Sane.” Lee said with a slightly questioning inflection in His voice.

“You heard Right. Whats it like working for or with Lester Sane well His Number One Influence and Icon is Lloyd Kauffman of Troma if You catch My Drift.” Shane replied Earnestly with just a Bit of Incredulous.

 

“Can’t Lie I’m a Big Fan of Troma and (In)Sane,” replied Lee Hoping that His comment didn’t piss Shane off into Shutting Down and thus Ending Their Exchange.

“Lester is actually a quite intelligent, and at heart is truly a Nice and Caring Guy, The Problem is You have to see that through a Thousand Layers of Bullshit, and most People give up or are Run Off before They even have a chance of Knowing the Real Lester Sane. It’s rather fucking Sad You Think about it.” Shane said while Idly Inspecting the Dildo that Started the Whole Debacle not because He gave an actual shit, BUT it provided Him a Focal Point.

“My Brother is the same Type of Personality.” Lee said encouragingly as He Rung Up the Dildo.

   

“Hold on,”Shane blurted Out before reaching over and snatching an adjustable Cock Ring of the Impulse Buy Display at the Register. “There now the King has Everything for His Erectile Empire.”

“I see what You’re saying. It seems some of the most Brilliant Artists blur the Thin Line between Genius and fucking Madness until You can’t seem to distinguish One from the Other” Lee said matter of factly as He tossed Shane’s purchases into a Plain Brow Paper Bag.

Funny Lee thought that the Whole Purpose of the Innocuous Brown Paper Bag to be absurdly Funny.  It was intended to Hide the Fact that You Purchased something Pornographic by disguising it in a Everyday Mundane fashion.  The Irony was that the Jig was Up long ago since People realized Brown Paper Bag approach was just a Rouse. Thus You can’t be a fucking Magician if Everyone knows Your fucking Tricks.

     

Stay Tuned Kiddies for Tomorrow’s Installment of LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (9/365)

Posting Time: 12:36am

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

The Latest News From Nowhere Special

This post is a Hats Off Tribute to Our favorite Small Independent BiWeekly Publication “The Dullard’s Digest” out of  La Plant South Dakota with a Sparse Population of just 105.

The “The Dullard’s Digest” covers all things La Plant such as local happenings, community news, local government, Schools/Churches/Obituaries/Weddings, and all various local Odds and Ends such as The Yearly County Fair and the like.

Specifically for this post We decided to Showcase the Unusually Unique Advertisements found within the “The Dullard’s Digest” which are truly in a League of Their Own.

(If you make a reference to the movie Kill Yourself for High Crimes and Misdemeanors of And OR Being FUCKING LAME.)

So Let Us Begin With………

 

Pickler Pete’s Pickled Emporium

“Your Source For All Your Pickled Needs!”

Breakfast Bonanza Special:

1  Gallon of Edger’s Edibles Pickled Eggs,

1 Gallon Of Bryan Brine’s Pickled Sausages

And 1 Gallon of Vinegar Vally’s Pickled Pork Hocks

for The LOW, LOW PRICE OF $59.99

Introducing Pickled Pete’s BRAND NEW Luscious ALL VEGAN Line of Pickled  FRUITS AND VEGETABLES:

” A FINE BRINE VEGAN” AVAILABLE NOW!! Guaranteed to be Green as fuck.

BOGO SALE! Quart Jar of Pickled Top Self Tofu for Just $9.99 HOW DEVINE!

Pickled Products make Kids Happy, Hearty, and Healthy! Puts MAD HAIR on Your Chest AND Genitals! Excellent Prevention for ANY and ALL of Ass Caners (Domestic OR Imported!) Stops Dolphin Rape, and aids The Coalition   of Children Around The World Without Cocaine.

Try Our Pickler Pete’s Lovely Line of Pickled Goods for SENIORS! 4.25 Pound Jar of Pickled Prunes just $19.99 This Weekend ONLY!!

Clearance! Get 10 for $10 Get 10 lb. of Pickled Beets for $10!

 

The BarFly Bar and Lounge

Here’s Our Weekly Drink Special Run Down For This Week!

Mad Dog Mondays- Glass of Mad Dog 20/20 Fortified Wine for $1.50

MD 20/20 Flavors:  Dragon Fruit, Purple Rain, Tangerine Dream, Banana Red, Peaches & Cream, Blue Raspberry, Buck Bunny, Cranberry, Electric Melon, Key Lime Pie, Kiwi Lemon, Lemon Ice, Orange Jubilee, Red Grape, Spiked Melon, Sour Apple, and Strawberry Kiwi.

Tequila Me Tuesday: $3 2 for 1 Shots of Pepe Lopez, Montezuma, & El Toro

Wet Your Whistle’s BEER BELLY BAR (All Beer Bar) with Specials On

Pitcher of Bud Light and Clamato $2.50

Bucket of Natty Ice or Natty Light for $6.00 (# of Cans 12)

24 oz Beers for a Buck: This week featuring Schlitz, Rolling Rock, & Olympia

40 0z Thursday Specials: Get a 40. oz of  Colt .45, Old English 800, King Cobra, or  St.Ides  for $1.99!

FUBAR Fridays: MOON”Motherfucking”SHINE will put a smile on your face!

$12 Standard Mason Jars of:  Proof Positive (609 Proof)

White Lightning White Whisky (619 Proof)

Ilikea Opossum Paul’s Moonshine Vodka (732 Proof)

RumRunner’s Moonshine Rum (882 Proof)

AND

Jimmy Crackcorn’s Corn Rye Moonshine. (976 Proof)

ALL DAY EVERCLEAR SPECIAL Evercleaf Cocktail $3.75

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND……

SUPER SHOT Saturdays featuring Shot Specials!!!

.50 Cent Shots of Mr. Boston Blackberry Brandy, Canadian Club, Monarch Gin, and Old Grand-Dad

3 Finger for $3 Special on Oro Tequila, Gordon’s Gin or Southern Host

“God Save Me! “Sunday Hangover Breakfast is BACK AGAIN!

For all those idiots who drank their asses off the night before The Barfly offers a particular Breakfast known for its alleged Cure to the Hell of the Next Day’s Hangover, HAVE NO FEAR BARFLY SUNDAY BREAKFAST IS HERE!

This Week on the Menu- The Old Timer Special!

Consisted of:  12 oz Shank Steak, Spam Hash w/ Bacon, and 2 Slices of Pork Roll.

Served with a Side of Scrapple, a Pickler Pete’s 1,000 Year Old Pickled Egg

AND a 32 oz. PBR (Can) FOR ONLY $2.99!!!!

The Weisenheimer Theater and Movie Exchange:

Saturday Night Slaughterfest Featuring some of Your FAVORITE B-Horror Slasher Films!

This Weeks Triple Feature is:

“Shoot My Face Off I Like It” From the Demented Director of Denmark Emil Mikkel

“Disembowel Me as I Giggle” from Redound Japanese Horror Fanatic Akasuki Hiromasa

AND

“Copulating With Corpses” The U.S. Version of “Necrophilia Nights” from The Infamously Dark and Disturbed mind of Lithuania’s Master of Sheer Terror Von Dire

SHOW STARTS PROMPTLY AT THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT. COME IF YOUR DARE, BUT YOU MAY NOT LIVE TO TELL THE TALE!

FOREIGN FILM FRIDAYS featuring the finest Foreign Films from Liechtenstein, Guam, Antartica, Mongolia, South Africa, Fiji, and Turkey JUST FOR STARTERS!!

ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW AT MIDNIGHT EVER SUNDAY ALL YEAR!

AND REMEMBER Tuesday Night Troma is BACK AND BAD ASS!

 

All Troma Movies All Day Dawn to Dusk: Inquire about our Enema Express Pass Today and don’t miss a single moment of Troma’s Famous GORE! NUDITY! SEX JOKES! PUKE,PISS,and SHIT! All in the Name of Independent Cinema for OVER 42 YEARS and COUNTING! (Show Times: 1st Film Starts when the Theater Opens and Over after the Last one Plays before Closing!)

 Coming Next TUESDAY!!!

 COMING NEXT MONTH!

AND BE SURE NOT TO FORGET THE Weisenheimer’s WISEAU WEDNESDAY!

Every Wednesday This Year there will 6 showings (9am, 12 noon, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm and 12am) of the Notoriously Shitty Movie “The Room” by The Mysterious Tommy Wiseau.

“The Room” has been called by many The Worst Movie EVER MADE!

“The Room” had Movie Theaters posting “NO REFUNDS FOR THIS MOVIE” posters!

“The Room” One Critic’s Review Read “Watching This Movie is like Stabbing Yourself in the Brain REPEATEDLY!”

COME ONE, COME ALL Join us in the Rising Cult Following of Wiseau and “The Room”

Those were the ones we selected. Perhaps one day We will do this again, but Dunno.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober