Tag: Turkey

Avarya

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring AVARYA Written, Directed and Created by Turkish Director and Cinematographer Gokalp Gonen and Showcased by Omeleto. AVARYA is Considered to be a Visionary Short Animation By Fans and Critics Alike.

Plot Summery:

AVARYA opens with Isaac Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics:

  • Robots Must NOT allow Humans to come to Harm.
  • Robots Must Protect Human Existence.
  • Robots DO NOT have to Follow Orders that would Conflict the Previous Directives.

An Elderly Man Drifts throughout the Galaxy, with a Robot as His Only Companion. The Spaceship is Designed just like Elderly Man’s Favorite Room back on Earth, even down to the Minutest Detail such as a Particle of Dust, according to the Robot. But the Elderly Man is anxious to Leave the Ship in Search of a Better Quality of Life. Together, They Duo Travel Throughout the Endless Expanse of Space as They search for a New Habitable Planet, since Earth has become Uninhabitable.

The Robot, however, is Sworn to keep Humans from coming to Harm. Every Alternative Planet discovered is Not Good Enough for the Elderly Man to Live on, according to the Robot. But the Man is Tired of being Stuck on the Ship, NO matter how Comfortable it may be. As the Elderly Man becomes Increasingly Desperate to Leave the He Reaches His Breaking Point and finally Rebels Against His Overbearing Robotic Overseer.  It’s Only Then does the Elderly Man Discover just how Seriously the Robot takes its Duty to Protect the Elderly Man, even if it’s from Himself.

Enjoy.

Thanks For Watching,

Presented by Les Sober

FYB Presents a Thanksgiving Movie Terror: THANKSKILLING!

FYB is Ecstatic to Present The Black Comedy Horror Film “THANKSKILLING” Written and Directed by Jordan Downey, and Co-written by Brad Schulz, Tony Wilson, Grant Yaffee, and Kevin Stewart.

           

Plot Summery: Centuries after the Original Thanksgiving in 1621 Five Collage Students Kristen The Good Girl, Johnny The Jock, Ali the Ditz, Redneck Billy, and Nerdy Darren head Home to Spend Thanksgiving with Their Families. Unfortunately for the Students Their Car Overheats stranding Them for the Night so They decide to Camp Out till Morning. While Sitting Around the Camp Fire Darren tells the Historic Folktale of Feathercloud, A Native American SHAMAN who was Dishonored by HEDONISTIC PILGRIM Chuck Langton, One of Billy’s Ancestors. The Enraged Featherclaoud used NECROMANCY to Create TURKIE, Who is said to appear Very Five Hundred and Five Years to SLAUGHTER ALL CAUCASIANS He Encounters.

            

Meanwhile Oscar the Hermit’s Dog desecrates a Miniature Totem Pole by Urinating on it, and prematurely Releasing Turkie who He also Urinates On. An ENRAGED Turkie KILLS THE DOG which prompting Ocar to Seek REVENGE on Turkie No Matter What. By Nightfall The Students reach Their perspective Homes Johnny tries to reconnect with His Estranged Father when Turkey Attacks KILLING JOHNNY’S PARENTS, But luckily Johnny manages to Escape the SLAUGHTER. Johnny rejoins His fiends with the Exception of Ali who is off having Sex with Her Boyfriend Greg when Turkie Shows Up and MURDERS THEM IN COLD BLOOD.

After They find Ali’s Remains, the Students decide to high tale it to Kristen’s House to see if Her Father Has Any Books in His Library That Might Help Defeat Turkie. Unfortunately for Them Turkie beats them There and after Share an Awkward Snack before Turkie Slay’s Kristen’s Dad mistakes Him for a Duck.  In the Library Darren finds a Book about Turkie , and it says He CAN BE KILLED if His Magic Talisman is Removed, Yet the Rest of the passage is Written in Code. The Students try in vane to Snatch Turkie’s Talisman from Him only to Have Turkie Escape into the Night.

Darren cracks the Code of The Book Discovering that Turkie must be BURNED AT THE STAKE after a DEMONIC PRAYER is said BACKWARDS! Billy is possessed By Turkie who enters Billy’s Body only to SHOOT HIS WAY OUT. Billy dies in Darrens Arms remembering all the Good Times They had. Then Darren, Kristen, and Johnny track Turkie back to His Tipi and Say Prayer, But as They Prepare to BURN TURKIE ALIVE Turkie comes bursting Out, and is Promptly SHOT IN THE HEAD by Oscar. Oscar leaves, and the Others go to Kristen’s House UNAWARE that the Dumpster Turkies Body is in contains RADIOACTIVE WASTE which REANIMATES TURKIE!

           

Believing that Turkie is DEAD, the Surviving Teens return to Kristen’s House. When Darren ventures into the Kitchen for a Bite to Eat He runs into Turkie who RIPS Darren’s TOUNGE AND HEART OUT, and STABS Johnny with an ELECTRIC KNIFE. A Paniced Kristen Slaps Turkie before running into a House like Shack. Turkie chases Them but Kristen sets Turkie ON FIRE with an AEROSOL FLAMETHROWER, and Oscar Congratulates Her as She EATS TURKIE’S LEGS. At The End , During a Family Thanksgiving Dinner, the Cooked Turkey Springs to Life, and in Turkie’s Voice Yells,    “DO I SMELL SEQUEL, BIOTCH?!!!”

To Our Readers Have A Happy and Safe Thanksgiving.

Hope You Enjoyed This Turkey Filled Thanksgiving Terror THANKSKILLING as Much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching/Viewing,

  Presented By Les Sober

2018

Well another year has come and another year has gone. I could entice you with mundane details of this thing i call life. Or a top 40 list of things this year that pissed me off or made me feel bliss.

I’m not going there. I’m too amused by the fact my neighbor keeps pacing post crescendo. They seem to have various issues with trip hop, dubstep and goth. The flavors of the night.

Everything around me is gray and i could not be more delighted. Sure my bathroom looks like Cookie Monster blew a thousand loads in it (bathbomb incident). The kitchen is red because I almost cooked it but instead i had a war with a large strawberry.

And I sit here in all white. At this exact moment, i could be a Mormon or Madonna in the Like A Virgin video. My penis will decide which one i am later.

The woods are oh so quiet. Just a few turkeys gobble rejoicing November is over.

There was a train of thought. I lost it to Yemaya. On her altar of blue. I smell the bad boys lurking. They hide three octaves from my face.

We fade. As the incubus lays me down with a final kiss. I see your jealous reflection in the mirror. A worthwhile blog no more.

By SpaceDog 

The Latest News From Nowhere Special

This post is a Hats Off Tribute to Our favorite Small Independent BiWeekly Publication “The Dullard’s Digest” out of  La Plant South Dakota with a Sparse Population of just 105.

The “The Dullard’s Digest” covers all things La Plant such as local happenings, community news, local government, Schools/Churches/Obituaries/Weddings, and all various local Odds and Ends such as The Yearly County Fair and the like.

Specifically for this post We decided to Showcase the Unusually Unique Advertisements found within the “The Dullard’s Digest” which are truly in a League of Their Own.

(If you make a reference to the movie Kill Yourself for High Crimes and Misdemeanors of And OR Being FUCKING LAME.)

So Let Us Begin With………

 

Pickler Pete’s Pickled Emporium

“Your Source For All Your Pickled Needs!”

Breakfast Bonanza Special:

1  Gallon of Edger’s Edibles Pickled Eggs,

1 Gallon Of Bryan Brine’s Pickled Sausages

And 1 Gallon of Vinegar Vally’s Pickled Pork Hocks

for The LOW, LOW PRICE OF $59.99

Introducing Pickled Pete’s BRAND NEW Luscious ALL VEGAN Line of Pickled  FRUITS AND VEGETABLES:

” A FINE BRINE VEGAN” AVAILABLE NOW!! Guaranteed to be Green as fuck.

BOGO SALE! Quart Jar of Pickled Top Self Tofu for Just $9.99 HOW DEVINE!

Pickled Products make Kids Happy, Hearty, and Healthy! Puts MAD HAIR on Your Chest AND Genitals! Excellent Prevention for ANY and ALL of Ass Caners (Domestic OR Imported!) Stops Dolphin Rape, and aids The Coalition   of Children Around The World Without Cocaine.

Try Our Pickler Pete’s Lovely Line of Pickled Goods for SENIORS! 4.25 Pound Jar of Pickled Prunes just $19.99 This Weekend ONLY!!

Clearance! Get 10 for $10 Get 10 lb. of Pickled Beets for $10!

 

The BarFly Bar and Lounge

Here’s Our Weekly Drink Special Run Down For This Week!

Mad Dog Mondays- Glass of Mad Dog 20/20 Fortified Wine for $1.50

MD 20/20 Flavors:  Dragon Fruit, Purple Rain, Tangerine Dream, Banana Red, Peaches & Cream, Blue Raspberry, Buck Bunny, Cranberry, Electric Melon, Key Lime Pie, Kiwi Lemon, Lemon Ice, Orange Jubilee, Red Grape, Spiked Melon, Sour Apple, and Strawberry Kiwi.

Tequila Me Tuesday: $3 2 for 1 Shots of Pepe Lopez, Montezuma, & El Toro

Wet Your Whistle’s BEER BELLY BAR (All Beer Bar) with Specials On

Pitcher of Bud Light and Clamato $2.50

Bucket of Natty Ice or Natty Light for $6.00 (# of Cans 12)

24 oz Beers for a Buck: This week featuring Schlitz, Rolling Rock, & Olympia

40 0z Thursday Specials: Get a 40. oz of  Colt .45, Old English 800, King Cobra, or  St.Ides  for $1.99!

FUBAR Fridays: MOON”Motherfucking”SHINE will put a smile on your face!

$12 Standard Mason Jars of:  Proof Positive (609 Proof)

White Lightning White Whisky (619 Proof)

Ilikea Opossum Paul’s Moonshine Vodka (732 Proof)

RumRunner’s Moonshine Rum (882 Proof)

AND

Jimmy Crackcorn’s Corn Rye Moonshine. (976 Proof)

ALL DAY EVERCLEAR SPECIAL Evercleaf Cocktail $3.75

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND……

SUPER SHOT Saturdays featuring Shot Specials!!!

.50 Cent Shots of Mr. Boston Blackberry Brandy, Canadian Club, Monarch Gin, and Old Grand-Dad

3 Finger for $3 Special on Oro Tequila, Gordon’s Gin or Southern Host

“God Save Me! “Sunday Hangover Breakfast is BACK AGAIN!

For all those idiots who drank their asses off the night before The Barfly offers a particular Breakfast known for its alleged Cure to the Hell of the Next Day’s Hangover, HAVE NO FEAR BARFLY SUNDAY BREAKFAST IS HERE!

This Week on the Menu- The Old Timer Special!

Consisted of:  12 oz Shank Steak, Spam Hash w/ Bacon, and 2 Slices of Pork Roll.

Served with a Side of Scrapple, a Pickler Pete’s 1,000 Year Old Pickled Egg

AND a 32 oz. PBR (Can) FOR ONLY $2.99!!!!

The Weisenheimer Theater and Movie Exchange:

Saturday Night Slaughterfest Featuring some of Your FAVORITE B-Horror Slasher Films!

This Weeks Triple Feature is:

“Shoot My Face Off I Like It” From the Demented Director of Denmark Emil Mikkel

“Disembowel Me as I Giggle” from Redound Japanese Horror Fanatic Akasuki Hiromasa

AND

“Copulating With Corpses” The U.S. Version of “Necrophilia Nights” from The Infamously Dark and Disturbed mind of Lithuania’s Master of Sheer Terror Von Dire

SHOW STARTS PROMPTLY AT THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT. COME IF YOUR DARE, BUT YOU MAY NOT LIVE TO TELL THE TALE!

FOREIGN FILM FRIDAYS featuring the finest Foreign Films from Liechtenstein, Guam, Antartica, Mongolia, South Africa, Fiji, and Turkey JUST FOR STARTERS!!

ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW AT MIDNIGHT EVER SUNDAY ALL YEAR!

AND REMEMBER Tuesday Night Troma is BACK AND BAD ASS!

 

All Troma Movies All Day Dawn to Dusk: Inquire about our Enema Express Pass Today and don’t miss a single moment of Troma’s Famous GORE! NUDITY! SEX JOKES! PUKE,PISS,and SHIT! All in the Name of Independent Cinema for OVER 42 YEARS and COUNTING! (Show Times: 1st Film Starts when the Theater Opens and Over after the Last one Plays before Closing!)

 Coming Next TUESDAY!!!

 COMING NEXT MONTH!

AND BE SURE NOT TO FORGET THE Weisenheimer’s WISEAU WEDNESDAY!

Every Wednesday This Year there will 6 showings (9am, 12 noon, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm and 12am) of the Notoriously Shitty Movie “The Room” by The Mysterious Tommy Wiseau.

“The Room” has been called by many The Worst Movie EVER MADE!

“The Room” had Movie Theaters posting “NO REFUNDS FOR THIS MOVIE” posters!

“The Room” One Critic’s Review Read “Watching This Movie is like Stabbing Yourself in the Brain REPEATEDLY!”

COME ONE, COME ALL Join us in the Rising Cult Following of Wiseau and “The Room”

Those were the ones we selected. Perhaps one day We will do this again, but Dunno.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober