Tag: Washington DC

Political Stress Relief: The Death Penalty Exercise

I was sitting at a Jiffy Lube recently and as I sat in the waiting room while The Mechanic tended to My Oil Change I hit up Twitter to Kill some Time. Now I Hate to Admit it, BUT I will be taking a Self Imposed Break from Social Media. It’s because of all the Sick, Revolting, and Criminal shit going on in Washington DC that is Eroding My Insanity with Over Whelming Rage. After only a Few Minutes I had become so Absolutely ENRAGED to the Point of Aneurysm so I had Exit Twitter Immediately.

The Problem was even after putting My Phone away I still Couldn’t Calm the fuck Down worth a Damn. All I could Think  about all the Asshole Politicians are ACTIVELY DESTROYING OUR COUNTRY and KILLING THE PLANET SIMULTANEOUSLY on a fucking DAILY BASIS. I knew I had to think of Some Way to Funnel or Channel My Rage that would be Productive. By Productive that I mean I wouldn’t End up doing something Seriously fucking Stupid.  Sine I have Trouble with Impulse Control and that combined with Being an Emotionally Driven Person and Artist it can get You into a Shit Ton of Hot fucking Water. I can personally Testify to That believe You Me.

        

Thats when I Realized that Diverting My Insane Anger into the Realm of My Creativity would be the Perfect Way to Deescalate My Growing Political Angst. I then Devised a Game of Sorts (Inspired by the French Revolution and Medieval Torture Devices/Methods) in which I matched Certain Politicians as well as Some Political Figures with What I would Deem the Appropriate Death Penalty for Their Various and Extensive Crimes Against America, It’s Citizens, The People of the World, and Humanity.

To Cover All Bases and My Ass: NEITHER I OR FYB CONDONE, PROMOTE OR ENCOURAGE, OR AGREE WITH ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST ANYONE AT ANYTIME WHATSOEVER. A REAL PERSON USES THEIR WORDS TO WIN AS ANY ASSHOLE CAN THROW A PUNCH.

            

Now with that Said and Out of the Way Here is the “Death Penalty Punishment List” I came up with while waiting for My Car to be Done. Enjoy.

Mike Pence: The Iron Maiden because It looks like The Iron Maiden was personally made for Pence.

Susan Collins: Publicly Stoned To Death the Sniveling Self Serving Sack of Shit.

Jim Jordan: Impaled just The Way Vlad would have Wanted it Done.

Donald Trump: Publicly Hung, Drawn, and Quartered Since is a Long and Painfully Drawn Out Process just like His STOLEN so called “Presidency”.

            

Bill Barr: “Buckwheat” is a form of Execution where a Loaded Firearm usually a Revolver is inserted into the Guilty Party’s Rectum before the Trigger is Pulled. This results in a SLOW and AGONIZING Death as The Quilty Convulse, Bleed, and eventually with in 15-20 Minutes Dies.

Lindsey Graham: Publicly Whipped Until Death since Trump uses Him as a Spineless Groveling Whipping Boy it seems most fitting an End for Graham.

Matt Gaetz: The Rack. He loves running His Lie filled Mouth so lets see How He’d liks having His Limbs Dislocated and then Ripped from his Body.

Mitch McConnell: Sarvation since He likes being called “The Grim Reaper” He deserves a Prolonged and Miserable Death. This will give Him adequate time to Meet and Greet the Actual Angel of Death.

             

Don Jr: Skinned Alive since He is such a Sleazy and Slippery Shitbag.

Devin Nunez: Death By Sepsis. This requires Nunez to be Superficially Cut (think Paper Cut) up and down His body, and then He is Rolled in or Submerged in Human Shit. This will over a short period of time cause Sepsis due to the Toxic components of Shit seeping into the Body/Blood Stream via the Superficial Cuts.

Eric Trump: Should have His Shit Filled Skull crushed EXTREMELY Slowly in a Vice.

           

Melania: Burned at the Stake so as Not to Contaminate Anything or Anyone with Her Stripper turned Hooker Venlarial Diseases.

Betsy DeVos: Hanging, But Not the Traditional Hanging You’re Thinking Of.  There is No Fall (example falling through trap door) to instantly kill the Guilty by Breaking Their Neck. This Way The Guilty is Standing on the Ground, the Noise it secured around their neck, and then they are slowly hoisted up into the Air. This Secondary Method prolongs The Dying Process, and makes Hanging even more Unpleasant an affair.

          

Rudy Giuliani: The Real Chinese Water Torture (This is when the Guilty Party is forced to Drink Water until their stomach is pushed to its full Capacity.AT this point the Guilty is repeatedly kicked in the Stomach until it Explodes leading to Their Demise.

Brett Kavanaugh: Repeatedly and Relentlessly Raped to Death. Fuck Rapists Literally.

Mike Pompeo: Boiled Alive in Oil. Simple fill Vat with Oil, Place in Guilty Party, Heat Oil Slowly until Boiling, though Simmering is Probably Best.

           

Jim Bakker: Inverted Crucifixion. That Means Crucifying Him Upside Down so We can Send Him to Hell Faster.

Alex Jones: Eaten Alive by Rabid Hyenas. Considering Asshole Alex Jones bullshit so called Career with InfoWhores Hyenas seem the most Appropriate Animal(s).

John Bolton: Slowly Crushed by a Tank. Starting at His Feet and working its way up to His Head since Bolton is such an Adamant Warmongering Coward.

Kellyanne Conway: She should be Fed Feet First into a fucking Commercial Wood Chipper because the Fugly bitch looks like a Piece of Petrified Wood.

           

Paula White: Torn Apart By Horses. Thats to say Each one of Her Limbs should be tied to a Different Horse and then The Horses are sent in different directions until the Guilty is Actually Torn Limb from Limb.

Ivanka Trump: Force Fed Feces Since she’s so full of Shit let Her Choke on it.

Jared Kushner: Gas Chamber lets hear the Mute fuck Scream for Mercy.

           

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

“Well Twitter Me This Batman…”

Its no secret my favorite one and only Social Media Platform I use is Twitter. I’ve been told I’m prolific and am lucky enough to have a cult following. That doesn’t mean I don’t have issues with Twitter mind you because I do.

Twitter like so many before it has to balance precariously on the thin line of Free Speech. Society can’t make a simple Yes or No answer. Free Speech is a Black and White issue, there is not Gray area of ambiguity here.

If We truly have Free Speech then its for EVERYONE, or let me put it this way if you can say whatever you want SO CAN EVERY ASSHOLE IN AMERICA.

So to deal with this delicate matter Twitter like every other fucking Social Media Platform established a set of Rules and Guidelines designed to allow Free Speech. Thats ONLY IF it does’t violate their User Guidelines which in effect is CENSORSHIP, thus negating True Free Speech.

But I digress as the issue of Free Speech warrants an Entire Post for itself.

Yet Twitter seems to violate its own Rules of Conduct by openly allowing batshit scumfucker’s like Alex “Asshole” Jones or The Obese Orange Fuckass Traitor 45 to continually use their service apparently free from all penalties for violating the established Guidelines for Rules of Conduct.

Now I respect Twitter and Other Social Media Platforms (Except Face Book which is complete Bullshit, and Zuckerberg is a Slimy Little Money Grubbing Millennial Shitfuck.) To try and prevent Nazi’s, Rapists, Religious Fanatics, Political Scumbags, Homophobes, Anti-Semites, Corrupt, Crooked, Criminal, or illegal elements from getting exposure of any kind. That just is common sense to Me.

Now here is my issue with Twiter. Twitter has a rather basic and Parental plan in place to help address any issues of possible violation of Their Rules with a preverbal “Time Out” Yes that is correct.

Your screen will go blank and then a Template Letter Statement from Twitter appears. I can’t quote the fucking thing but I get the fucking gist.

It basically says that Twitter embraces Free Speech AND wants a user friendly platform. Then it accuses you of possibley might have gotten close to breaking the rules so this serves as an Slap On The Wrist if you will.

It informs you that since there could possibly been an issue your account is Limited Access for 12 hours. That means ONLY your followers will be able to see you account/tweets for 12 hours at which point your account is returned to normal.

What pisses Me off to no fucking end is the fact that though the messages says your account has been flagged for possible misconduct IT NEVER GIVES YOU THE/AN EXACT ANSWER.  Its just this vague play nice or be punished reminder babble.

To date I have racked up a total of 19 “12 Hour Time Outs”.

I also had My Account put on a Stricter “24 Hour Time Out” Twice thus far.

I recently was given the harshest “Time Out” Yet with the “48 Hour Time Outs”

Now I don’t really understand at all why the fuck My Account is constantly being plagued with this Twitter bullshit. For the Records I do not engage in participate in, or support in any way of the following: Trolling, Threats of Violence to Anyone/their friends/their family/ personal property,  pictures of anything of a Pornographic nature, Gun/Weapon Worship (ex. The NRAssholes), Anti-LBGTQ bullshit, Anti-Semetic Bullshit, Nazi Sympathizer Racist shit, Promotion or Glorification of Drug/Alcohol Use, Big Tobacco Bullshit, or anything of an Illegal, Criminal or Corrupt Nature.

The funniest fucking thing is how at this time in my life I’m not just aware of the Rules, BUT I do everything in my power to BEND but NOT BREAK the rules in Life. I seriously TONE DOWN my opinions and Posts by 10 fucking fold, trust me the shit you see I Tweet is just the TINIEST TIP of the fucking IceBurg. And not only that but when I do get put on one of these asinine “Time Out” deals I continue to Tweet, but again I tried much more lightly which I feel is respectful as fuck.

What I do is I do RAIL AND RAGE against primarily the Scumsucking Scumfuck Politicians, Trump the Traitor, Motherfucking MAGA Morons, Rancid Racists, Rapists, Homophobes, Police Brutality and Corruption, Bullshit Big Business (Fuck Walmart, Eat Shit Amazon), The Pharmaceutical Industry, Health Care, and any injustice I perceive. I fully support Underdogs as well as Those wronged by a Shitciety.

My feeling is if your a fucking ELECTED PUBLIC SERVANT aka a Politician and you fuck up or turn out to be a piece of fucking shit than your open to ANY AND ALL RIDICULE from the People who ELECTED YOU and for whom you supposedly work (REMEMBER FOR THE PEOPLE BY THE PEOPLE YOU WASHINGTON DC DICKHEADS?!!)

So yes I admit I insult the hell out of those I deem to be utterly shitty fucking people, and I talk mad shit about them (I do not Troll them, I say what I have to say on my Feed not Theirs.

I also get a kick out of BLOCKING MAGAs because their so fucking stupid that they respond to a Tweet of mine like I give a flying fuck what those fucktards have to say FUCK THE LEMMINGS!)

BUT these aren’t the General Public these are Elected Officials and other People in Power who by the nature of their job deserve to reap what they sow. And if you Sow Shit Seeds you Deserve to Reap Shit Plants.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Donald Trump President or Pervert?!

I have it on good authority that presidential candidate Donald Trump has one hell of a skeleton in his closet. Donnie Trump is banned from the entire continent of Africa, if Donnie ever sets foot on African soil he will be arrested and promptly executed for Environmental Desecration and Wild Life Endangerment.

Why you ask? Well I’ll tell you. In his 30’s to late 40’s our possible president went through a serious Beastiality phase. So Donnie Trump would book secret “Safari Vacations” to various parts of Africa to shoot his personal Beastiality porn, by him for him type deal.

2 Strange Facts on the Subject:

  1. Donnie while fucking Lions would be heard screaming “Your no king of the jungle, I AM! I’m the KING of the JUNGLE,  all you are is the king of my bitches! I’M SIMBA BABY, I’M MOTHERFUCKING SIMBA OF THE WORLD!”
  2. While getting banged by Hyenas Donnie Boy could be heard mumbling meekly “Mother knows, Mother knows best and she will teach me!”

Interesting side note and biological fact:

Hyena’s sexes are notoriously hard to distinguish say field researchers due to the fact female Hyenas have a Faux Penis,  so female Hyenas literally know what its like to give birth through their penises.