Tag: wild west

Now Before I Start this Story there a Few things I need to Clarify First. My Family Farm was Built in 1877 and While it looks Welcoming as hell During the Day when Night Falls things are Quite Different. At Night the Farm House takes on a Serious Norman Bates Horror Movie Vibe. This change in Aesthetic can be Attributed to a Few different Factors.  First The Farm is Located Outside of the Town Limits making it rather Isolated (the Farm House is Located on a Over 1,117 Acres of Pine Forrests). The Second is the Utter Lack of Exterior Light, and While there are Obviously Lights On In the House and Directly Outside there No Street Lamps. There is also Virtually No Traffic on the Lazy Country Road that Runs through the Property in Front of the Farm, and there is No Light from Urban Sprawl either.

This Total Lack of Additional Light means when the Sun goes Down it gets Darker then You’ve Ever Experienced. You Literally can’t see more than 5 Feet in Front of You and its incredibly Disorienting as Your Eyes Desperate Search for Something Recognizable to Orient Itself in Vain. I have witnessed a Handful of People Really Freak the Fuck Out over the Pitch Blackness to the Point They were Contemplating if They had in fact Gone Suddenly and Completely Blind. Also As You may have Guessed There are Absolutely No Neighbors Near By and the Emergency Responders (Fire Department, Cops, and Ambulances) Response Time is Hindered by the Remote Location. Due to the Slower than Average Response Times have Led People Here to Adopt the Ideology that They like the Wild West Days Gone By must Fend For Themselves.

So the Bottomline is at Night You feel like Your Stranded on some Planet deep in the Depths of Space where You’re on Your Own, and Totally Alienated from Everything/Anything Familiar. I like to Describe it has Floating in a Vast Void that’s so damn Dark it Rivals a BlackHole (Black Holes Gravity is so Strong it even sucks in Light). It’s the Closest thing to Sensory Deprivation that I have ever Experienced in all My Years on Earth. The Other Unnerving issue is being so far from anything remotely Suburban it’s beside being Blacker than the Grave it’s Insanely Silent. This Ups the Creepy factor 10 fold in My Opinion, but there are some sounds just Not those Humans Make and thus are used to Hearing. You can Hear Unknown Animals Howling Occasionally, The Piercing Cry of Owls random cut through the Blackness, and You can Hear Things Moving throughout the Surrounding Woods. Since You can’t see any of these Anything Your Imagination starts going Apeshit with Crazy and Terrifying Thought of What is Lurking Around Cloaked in the Dark of Night.

Since the Farm House was Built well before Central Heating was Invented Every Single Room has a Still Fully Functioning Fireplace. I do mean EVERY Room be it the Bedrooms, Kitchen, Dinning Room, Living Room, and Den so basically the Only exception are the Bathrooms. Now having so many Fireplaces out in an extremely Rural Area sometimes Shit happens that wouldn’t in Populated Areas. In this Case I’m talking about Birds  Baby Birds that is. Once in a While when it’s Not Winter Parent Birds will occasionally Build there Nest on Top of the Chimney when its Not Winter, and once in a Blue Moon there Structural Integrity Issues. What I mean by that is that the Bottom of the Nest would Simply Buckle under the Weight of the Growing Chicks causing the Nest to Falter. When this happens the the Baby Chick unfortunately Plummet down the Chimney and into the Fireplace itself cover in Ash, Shocked as Shit, and Terrified by the Ordeal. Now if the Flu is Shut the Chicks will Land on the Top which Means to remedy the Situation You have to Open the Flu. Once the Flu is Opened  the Screaming Grime covered Chicks will fall into Your Fireplace hopefully avoiding Hitting You on the Way.

At this Point in Time My Mother had a Second Residence (The House My Brother and I grew up In) up North and She would Head up there to Avoid the Stifling Summer Heat of the South. The Farm has an Alarm System which is Rather Elaborate, But like I said due to the Less than Desirable Police Response Time My Mom had Back up. My Mother had the Wherewithal to cut a Deal with one of Our Relatives in the Immediate Area to Assist with the Farm while She was Away. My Mother had enlisted the Help of a Second Cousin of Mine called Gary to do Walk Throughs of the Farm to make sure a Pipe didn’t break or an Animal of some sort got into the Farm House. He was also Responsible for Up keep of the Grounds as well such as Keeping the Trails in the Woods Clear for Example, and if the Alarm went off He would Immediately Head Over to See what the fuck was Going On.

During One of My Mother’s Summer Retreats up North and thanks to Murphy’s Law (Murphy’s lAw States what can go wrong will) the Farm Alarm went off in the Middle of the Fucking Night. Gary and His Eldest Son Jacob got out of Bed and Drove Over to the Farm to Investigate what had set off the Alarm. They pulled up in Their Pick Up Truck, got Out, and were Checking Their Guns (again People Out Here assume They’re on Their Own) when Low and Behold one of the Small Handful of Police from Town rolled up. Gary informed the Officer Who they were and why They were There in the Middle of the Woods at God Knows what Late Hour of the Night with an Alarm Blaring like a Band of Banshees. The Cop responded by stating He’d be Accompanying Gray and Jacob into the House to Check the Situation Out.

With that Said all Three with Their Guns Drawn Slowly Entered the House, and Gary managed through Ungodly Sirens to Shut Off the Alarm so They could actual hear Themselves think. The Three of Them Stood in the Foyer of the Farm House with the Living Room Directly to Their Left and the Den Directly to Their Left. The Three of Them Inspected Both Rooms and Found Nothing of Concern and Returned to the Foyer to Regroup. They double Checked the Front Door and Windows in Each Room to See if Someone had Broken in that way. Since The Front Door and Front Windows hadn’t been tampered with They were Relieved at First but They had the Entire Farm to Clear.

There is a Long Hall that leads Directly from the Foyer to a Door that Opens onto a Middle Porch. Since Fire was a Serious fucking Concern back in the 1880’s (in fact the Original Farm House on the Property Burned Down) the Architects of the Time came up with the Concept of the Middle Porch. While most Fires originated in the Kitchen House Builders added a Middle Porch separating the Main part of the House from the Back Part where the Kitchen was Located (as well as the Dinning Room). The Theory was if a Fire broke Out in the Kitchen the Middle Porch would provide a Gap between the Fire and the Main House. This Way Hopefully the Firemen would Show up in enough Time to Save the Rest of the House from Burning Down. On either side of the Door is a Bedroom which was the Next logical Location for the The Crew to Inspect. The Staircase However is located on the Left Side of the Main Hallway facing away from the Crew as the Bottom is of the Staircase is approximately 6 feet or so from the Back Bedroom on the Left.

They Slowly started inching Their way towards the back Bedrooms with Guns at the Ready. They only took a couple of cautious Steps before They Heard a Noise coming from the Second Floor. None of the Crew was able to identify what the sound actually was, and confusion set in. They stopped in Their Tracks to Listen to the UnKnown Sound to see if They could Assess what the fuck it was. As They remained Frozen with Their Ears Straining to make out what the Mystery Noise was as Their Minds Engaged Their Fight or Flight Instincts. On the Second Floor was the Master Bedroom, another Bedroom, a Bathroom, and a Second Story Porch so the Crew where trying to Figure Out where Upstairs the Noise was coming from. The Unidentified Sound moved into the Small Upstairs Hallway, and then it Started to come down the Stairs. It was a Frantic Sound of Something Scarred Shitless and looking for anyway to Escape. The Men Froze once again and Moved Their Index Fingers to the Trigger of Their Weapons in Anticipation of a the Confrontation making its way  Downstairs.

The Men Stood Side by side Shoulder to Shoulder with Gary on the Right, Jacob on the Left and the Cop in the Middle. They waited Anxiously Holding Their Collective Breath as if in some sort of sick Horror Movie Standoff waiting for the Unknown Noise to Show Itself. Then All of a Sudden to Everyone’s Surprise Something Large and Covered Head to Toe in Ash came Bounding Over the Banister from the Half way up the Staircase. The Creature Dropped the 7-8 feet to the Floor Below. Though Gary and Jacob were Stunned and Still Unsure of what the fuck They were looking at Exactly Held Their Ground. Instinctively Gary and Jacob looked over at One Another to See How They should Proceed They Noticed Something Odd. The Cop was Gone and all that remained between the Two Men was the Empty Floor Space once Occupied by the Cop.

Both Men turned back to look at the Creature Raising Hell in the Hall Way. As the Creature Left Around Hoping like a Possessed Kangaroo Clouds of Soot came Billowing off of it Obscuring the Men’s View. Finally Enough Chimney Grim was Discarded and Settled that the Men could actually see what it the Crazy Creature was. It was a Full Grown Adult Crane that stood around 4 Feet High with an Impressive Wing Span that apparently (and God Knows How) had Fallen down one of the Upstairs Chimneys. Gary and Jacob holstered Their Firearms, grabbed a Blanket of the Living Room Couch, and Ushered the Bird Outside where it took off into the Night like a Bat out of Hell relieved to Be Free at Last.

As Gary and Jacob gathered Their thoughts on the Madness that has just ensued Their Attention was once again drawn to the Cop. When the Cop was Startled by the Large Filth Covered Crane jumped the Banister had freaked the fuck out and He ran Out of the House into the Front Yard. Now I know that Scenario had to be Unsettling as Hell for those who were there, BUT a Cop’s fucking Job is to Stand Up in the Face of Danger and Protect Civilians. They go to the Police Academy and are Trained to Handle Dangerous Situations I mean essentially Thats a Cop’s Job, but this Officer ran the hell away in the Face of Adversity leaving the Two Civilians to Ironically Fend for Themselves. The best word I can Use to describe it is Ludicrous.

To this Day it’s still a Mystery on How the fuck a Large Crane fell the fuck down the Chimney, and We will Rightfully Never Know as it appears it was just a Freak Occurrence. As for the Cop I hope He found a New and Less Stressful a Job as He doesn’t seem Cut Out to actually be an Effective Police Officer to say the fucking Least. Gary with the assistance of Jacob still Man the Fort whenever My Mother goes on Vacation Nowadays, and the Story of the Insane Crane lives on.

Thanks For Reading,

By Les Sober  (Pt1211am)