Early Am Insanity: A Texting Tirade

 

Here is the Latest installment of Les’s Late Night Text Bombing Spacedog with Utter Absurdity.

Text Bomb Drops at 3:14 am:

I dip my balls in Vino and Tea Bag Alcoholics.

Phil was Drunk & Nude making Scrambled Eggs and accidentally Scrambled his Scrotum.

Lets Fast Forward to the Fucking.

Chastity Belts were known at the time as Beaver Blockers.

She terrorizes the Tiny Town with her Tremendous Tits.

WTF is/are Mummeries?

CLUSTERFUCKS: The ClusterFuck Club, The ClusterFucked Friends, The CLusterFucking Fiends, The ClusterFuckable Family, The ClusterFuck Factory.

New Anime Cartoon The Fantastic Fuckery of Tittie Fuck-Fuck.

Theres as Serial Rabbit Rapist running loose in The Woods of Wisconsin.

Farmer Phil got so fucked up Drunk he Butt Balled a Bull.

Tubeless peter Pecker The Marvelous Merkin Maker of Manchester.

The Bastards & Bitches Society’s Ballroom Bash.

Shemale Shoe Shiners Union Local 447.

New Porn Film Title: Granny Tranny

The Sausagefest Sword Fight or the Clashing of the Cocks.

Clit City.

Meth Mouth Mark sucks dick for Dope behind the 8-12 dumpster out back.

Phil got so fucked up he Dicked a Donkey.

The Electric Dildo Experience of 1888.

My new favorite insult followed by alternatives: Bite My Taint, Lick My Taint, Suck My Taint, Toung My Taint.

Horse Humping Harry The Racetrack Rapist Strikes Again in Cook County Connecticut.

Phil got fucked up & stuck his pecker in a Prize Pig.

LadyLand The Menstruation Nation.

Phil got Shitfaced & sucked a Sheep’s Schlong.

Frederick got fucked up & Gargled a Goat’s Gonads.

Leisure Suit Silvia & The Land of the Lesbian Lounge Lizards: Leisure Suit Larry.

Pot Paraphernalia plus a Dildo = The Schlong Bong “The Bong with Balls”

Derricks favorite new Ska Band is called Bag of Dicks.

Karl is a cock cracking cunt or Karl is a cock kinking cunt.

The Cunty Cowboy’s of Salt Lake City.

My new band is named The Salt Lake City Slut System.

Early 19th century Sailors used to refer to a Womanizer as a “Clam Cracker” or “A Slit Shucker”

Phil is Pounding his Pecker to Porn.

Pete is Pounding Off to Low Budget Pittsburg Produced Porno.

Japan has a Sex Doll Disposal Service.

New International Porn: Getting Gash in Guam.

Phil got fucked up and Banged a Water Buffalo.

Frederick got fully fucked up and fingered a Ferret.

Phil got fucked up & sucked a Whale’s Wang and Had Six Way Sex with Sharks.

Richard suffers from Rectal Rage Disorder

Grits & Shits with a side of Eggy Anus.

Betty’s Beefy Buttocks.

Porn Title: Naughty Necrophiliacs: Coitus with Corpses

Alt Terms for a Pornographic Movie: A Fuck Film, A Dick Flick, A Pussy Picture, a Fuck Flick.

Samuel’s smoking Weed & Wanking Off Wildly.

Spiritual Soul Sex.

 

Time Now 4;20 am: 

4:20 Smoke It if Ya got It.

The opposite of Wake’n Bake is Smoke’n Sleep.

Thats All This Bombing,

Les “Than” Sober 

T.R. McCoy The Man, The Myth, The Monster

The following newspaper article was published in the Podunk County Chronicle on December 9th 1913 on the 25th anniversary of T.R. McCoy’s disappearance.

T.R.McCoy was one of the most controversial figures in American history that you’ve never heard of. T.R. McCoy was an anthropologists, successful sociologist, and the pioneering founder of the scientific field of cryptozoology, who one cold winter night after leaving a fundraiser for his next expedition (to the tropical islands in the Arctic Circle) heavily drunk and aggravated, vanished leaving only his left black leather glove upon the stair of the Naturalist Park on December 9th, 1888.

During his prolific and troubled carrier T.R.McCoy won several Nobel prizes for pioneering the field of cryptozoology in 1818, and for advancements in the field of sociology (in 1817, 1821 and 1833)

T.R.McCoy also had a plethora of criminal court cases for example the multiple charges of exploitation and detriment to the indigenous tribes people he studied. Once T.R.McCoy disappeared from the face of the earth; the flood gates for conspiracy theorists were opened. People formulated theories such as: The Vatican had him assassinated. Could it have been, that one of his 17 ex-wives/mistresses killed him in a crime of passion unable to tolerate his penchant for womanizing? Was it that T.R.McCoy faked his own death to escape from public controversy and legal prosecution? Did McCoy run off to one of his exotic locations and was eaten by vengeful cannibals whose ancestors McCoy swindled into becoming cheap slave labor.  Others hypothesized McCoy fell victim to a revenge bent supernatural specter from beyond the grave seeking retribution. Some said it was an alien abduction, but at the same time others wondered if McCoy himself was in fact an alien or perhaps a human-alien hybrid. Some in the general community believe McCoy, through his advanced knowledge of physics and the time space continuum, opened a portal to escape the chaos of his career and the turmoils of his personal life by entering another unknown dimension. Some other people think McCoy was employed by a government agency working on top secret project (McCoy was working with the military but the all the files are still to this day remain classified) and simply knew to much so he was effectively “Taken Out”
The more likely reality is that a fellow competitor (and there were plenty) murdered him out of jealously or retribution for McCoy destroying their careers, as he was known to do if for any reason big or small if he disliked you. More probable causes for McCoy’s disappearance also include being killed by a nefarious person from the criminal underworld due to an outstanding gambling debt. McCoy was a notorious gambler who would bet on anything just to make a wager. McCoy could have just as easily dropped his glove as he staggered down the park stairs intoxicated (as his penchant for drink was legendary), stumbled off into the park, and accidentally fell into the Elli river that runs through the park.
No body was ever found even after an extensive 93 day search. In the end we can only speculate and must be ready to acknowledge the fact that the world may never know what really happened to T.R.McCoy the man, the myth, the monster.