Tag: woods

MeatCanyon’s Nightmare Compilation 2021

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post Featuring NIGHTMARE COMPILATION 2021 by One of Our Favorite Content Creators MeatCanyon. We were Dementedly Delighted to See MeatCanyon had put together a Compilation of His Favorite Animations He did in 2021. And MeatCanyon once again did Not Disappoint His Selections are Dead On.

MeatCanyon’s real name is Hunter August Hancock better know by His online user name MeatCanyon. Hancock is an American Youtuber, Animator, Voice Actor, Comedian, Writer, and Director who makes Parody Animations of Popular Characters (say Sponge Bob for instance). Some viewers of MeatCanyon’s Animations  have been Described them in just One Single Word “Horrifying”. A common on going gag in Hancock’s video’s is that Something Normal or Mundane gets You Killed or Possible Worse.

The MeatCanyon in His Own Words: 

“Thank you all for another amazing year! heres to another! This is a compilation of some of my favorite toons from last year! hope you enjoy!

Nightmare Compilation Playlist:

00:00 – Let’s go Dababy
01:47 – The passion of the craft
04:28 – The last pringle
07:35 – Gumballs in the park
10:54 – I can count to three
13:20 – Yokai Bob the Builder
17:40 – Meaty talk

Thanks For Watching,

Presented By Les Sober

FYB Update: A Glimpse Behind The Cloak Part 2: Next Stop The Great Southern Swamp

So Once the Car Crash Chaos finally Calmed Down We were able to Hit the Road out of the Woods headed straight towards the Great Southern Swamp. Though We ended up leaving 3 fucking Horus behind Schedule (I hate being Late its a Pet fucking Peave of Mine) it was Mostly My fault I must Admit. I would go to do Something only to get Distracted along the Way thus Wasting a great deal of Time chasing My own damn Tail as it were.

In All Actuality I can’t complain I mean obviously I could be an Asshole of the Highest Order and Nit Pick something to Bitch about, But why the Hell do that?! Once We left it was smooth fucking Sailing all the Way No Shitty Weather, Traffic Jams, Road Construction, Road Delays, Accidents, Rush Hour Issues, and No Stupid Motherfuckers sitting at a Dead Stop in the Middle the Road (on a Blind Curve ) while Stealing Shit to Deal with it was Damn near Perfect.

Since We weren’t going to get to Where We needed to be until much Later then expected We decided not to get Pissed about it, and instead take Advantage of it by taking Our Sweet Ass Time. Fuck the Runaround, Rushing About, and the Rat Race fuck Them all. It was nice I have to admit not to be so Constricted by the Concept of Time it was quite fucking Peaceful.

        

We got a Good Nights Sleep and a Chance to Sleep in which is always Nice. After milling around Drinking Coffee to No End My Wife and I met up with Her Best Friend Dozie (and a Good Friend and Ex-Coworker of Mine). The first Order of Business was Lunch as Dozie was just getting off Work by the Time We were ready to Venture Out into the Surrounding Swamp. Since We live Deep in the Woods of The Southern Country We don’t have Certain things You can find Pretty much anywhere fucking Else, and in this Case it was a Deli. No Deli’s in the Boondocks I am afraid to Say.

After Lunch We rather Aimlessly Rode around Town checking out How Our Old Stomping Ground had Changed or Evolved since We got the Hell out of the Breath Southern Swamp. We also made Several purchases of Other Hard to Locate Living in No Man’s Land Items along the Way as Well figuring Why waste a Perfectly Good Opportunity?!  As the Day Faded Away into the Oncoming Dark Night My Wife, Dozie, and I prepared Ourselves for a Evening out at The Eagles Our Long Time Favorite Local Dive Bar.

What Dozie was unaware of was that Over Time My Wife and I found a Following of Friendly People who Adore the shit Out of Us especially since We moved several Years Ago. My Wife dropped Me off at the Eagles and went to run to the Bank or some last minute mundane Task, and I went in ahead of Her and Dozie.

.       

The First Person I ran into is a Gentleman Named Hatchet who instantly as He always does (and has for fucking Years) Yelled at the top of his fucking Lungs “HEY IT’S JESUS!”, and Then precedes to Shake My Hand and inadvertently fucking Break it with Drunken Excitement. Now Why Does He Refer to Me as Jesus? Why is My Nickname in General at the Eagles Jesus? Well I’ll leave it Up to You to figure that one Out.

During the Course of the Night I got to visit with My Favorite Eagles Bar Tender of all Fucking Time Audry who ironically was Tending Bar that Night. The New Bar Tender was alright She didn’t neglect anyone or Drag Her Ass in any way, but there was still that awkward Unfamiliarity hanging in the Air like a Lingering Fart. I got to See the Cast of Usual Suspects and Especially My Best Friend Mr. Percy most of All. It was a rather Lively Night at the Eagles which can be quite Low Key when it wants to be. There was Endless Rounds of Jello Shots, Chaotic Karaoke, and Some Alcohol Fueled and Related Auction for All Kinds of Random shit. There was like Your Basic Gift Basket, but Mostly it was Bottles of Booze or Heavily Booze Laced Desserts/Cakes, and the Fireball was Flowing Freely.

       

The Following Morning I woke up Nice and Early just so I could have the Pleasure of Puking. You know You’ve Partied Your Ass Off to Capacity when You Vomit During OR at The End of the Night. If You wake up and the First fucking thing You do is Vomit You know Last Night You abused the Hell Out of Your Liver, and More than likely You Damn Near did Your Liver in Once and For All. It’s one of Those Times where You wake Up, and say to Yourself Well I may Not be Quitting Drinking for Good, But I am for Quite a While.It’s the type of Hangover that Even when it’s Over it Still Haunts Your Memory.

A Little Later on that Pleasantly Sunny Morning My Wife and I had Brunch with Her Aunt and Uncle along with My Wife’s Younger Cousin and His Wife. Considering the Previous Nights Over Indulgence on My part this Brunch was Particularly Brutal just to Get Through. My Head was Fuzzy, My  Eyes were Blurry, and I My Mind was Muddled as a Motherfucker Let Me Tell You. Weirdly at the Same Time it was really Pleasant on some Sick Level I suppose because all said and Done I ultimately enjoyed Myself.

       

The Restaurant We ate at was a Bit Too Fancy For Me as I’m so fucking LOW Maintenance its an Ongoing Joke.I went with the Family Flow and Ordered a 3 Course Lunch with Various Options in the Appetizer/Main Course/ Dessert Something or Other. The Appetizer I opted for Honestly was the Only fucking Option that sounded like anything I would actually Eat which was Black Bean and Bacon Soup. Did I mention How Hungover I was because that Soup was HEAVY AS FUCK! I mean while it Tasted Splendid as soon as it Landed in Your Stomach it Apparently turns into Instant Cement or at Least thats what fucking Felt Like. The Main Course was Fish so it was Delightful and Light on the Stomach which was still Reeling from the Dense Soup Scenario. The Dessert Deal turned out to be a Selection of Desserts in fucking Shot Glasses which I’m rather Ambivalent about, but thats just Me.

After the Meal was Over Everyone went Their different Ways, and My Wife and I circled around Back to Base Camp. My Wife spent Her time productively Completing Her Continuing Education Courses/Credits for this Year while I on the Other Hand took a Well Needed Nap to Fully Regain My Faculties. It was by by Definition a Power Nap as I awoke Feeling like My Normal fucking Self Again, I was Resurrected in the Land of the Living.

       

We reconvened that evening around 6 pm when I noticed that a Couple We Knew and were Good Friends with had Texted Us to see if We’d like to stop by Their House for Dinner, and to See the Puppy of Ours They Adopted a Year Back. I would like to take a second to acknowledge that Derrick and Terri are Great Owners, But Bernie (The Dog) turned out to be a Great Dog. Well Behaved, No Bad Habits, Listens to His Owners Etc.

I immediately conferred with my Wife and Texted Derrick and Terri back with an Enthusiastic Hell’s Yes. Unfortunately it turned Out Derrick had been doing Roofing Work that Day, and as Roofing goes He fucked up His Back pretty Bad. So Poor fucking Derrick had to Bail on Dinner to tend to His Beat Up Back, But We still stopped by and Saw Terri ad Bernie, Hung out for a while, Shot the Shit, had a Few Beers, and Laughed a lot. After Our visit We headed over to the Eagles once again to meet up with Mr. Percy and Thank God it was a much Slower Night at The Eagles. I was Happy because the other Night had been Fun as fuck sometimes Relaxing over a Few Drinks beats Partying until Dawn.

       

We Left the Following Morning after having Breakfast with My Wife’s Older Cousin who was in Town. We Managed to Stay on Schedule this time around and made Great Time.  I honestly was a Little Impressed I must say. Again We were lucky as Hell not to have had to Deal with any Traffic/Road Issues like Holiday Traffic or Weekend Traffic for Example. Needless to say it was Splendid Not getting Stuck in some Aggravating bullshit along the Way. I enjoy the Ride because it’s Familiar, BUT Not to the Point of  Monotony. This is a Very fucking Difficult Balance to Achieve None the Less Maintain the Test of Time. I find Boredom Deplorable and Truly Hellish in Many Ways so this Delicate Balance is Especially Important in My Mind.

Since We returned Home to the Woods much Earlier than Ever be for decided if We could Pick Up Our Big Dogs Tonight instead of having Wait till After Work the Following Day. It Save Us both Time and Money which I am Always in Favor of.  It would just so Happen that even though it was well After Hours the Guy We Board with was willing to Stay Late and gave Us His Cell Number. We called and of course He said come on by which means see You in 45 minutes because again We live in the Middle of No Where Special. We managed to pick up the Big Dogs without to much Hyper Dog Drama except for When Big Dad Dog came flying cross the Front Desk into the Waiting Room.

     

Once We got Home Everyone Hit the Couch and fucking CRASHED being utterly Worn Out and Thoroughly Exhausted from Our Venture. Road Trips are fucking Fun, But at the same Time there’s Nothing Like Returning Home.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

So It All Started When………

So it all Started when I was Driving to the Gadget Store to pick Up a New Tomato Polisher to give to My Wife for Our 57th Wedding Anniversary. Out of fucking No Where a Naked Guy Higher than God on BathSalts Leapt into the Middle of the Road trying to Eat His Own Face. He had already Consumed His Lips and was Futilely trying to Shove the Rest of His Face into His Mouth.

I sweared like a son of a bitch and Accidentally Drove of the Road to Avoid turning the Man into a Human Meat Sack. As My Car charged Head First Down a the Stereo embankment Zigging and Zagging through the Bumper Car Course from Hell. At Last My Car came to a Abrupt Stop after the Wheels got Entangled in Under Brush.

I exited My Car and Started to Treck through the Dense Woods in Search of Civilization. As I strolled along I heard a particularly Strange and some what Disturbing Sound. It sounded Like a Rabid Wounded Grizzly Bear, and its Prey had fallen Head First into a Giant ass Blender. Curious I wondered  towards the Unknown Noise until I reached a Near by Clearing in the Woods. There I laid Eyes on One of the Greatest Abominations I have ever born Witness too.

       

There is that Clearing was Only what I can Assume was Bigfoot who looked Nothing really like the Stereotypically Depiction of what Bigfoot is thought to look like. This Humanoid Creature was in deed HUGH standing around 8 Feet Tall, weighted approximately 400 plus Pounds, and was in need of some Serious Industrial Manscaping (Due to the fact this Creature had Excessive amounts of Body Hair I could see Why Some People Mistook the Body Hair for actual Fur). The Bigfoot though had the Physical Characteristics not of an Ape, but much more like that of a Neanderthal  Caveman with a Sloped Head with a Pronounced Brow.

The Bigfoot like Creature was engaged in a Rowdily fucking a Large Brown Bear, or Perhaps It was Raping It I’m not too sure. I’m not sure because I have No fucking Clue what a Fully Grown Adult Brown Bear or a Suspected Bigfoot sound like while having Sex. All I’m saying is when Cats Fight or Fuck it sounds the Same which is as if They were being Skinned Alive.

       

Not wanting to be Spotted and running the Risk of Being Killed or Worse Dragged into This Interspecial Clusterfuck. So I took off as Fast as My Legs could carry Me. After a Few Minutes of Running through the Woods I came across a Small Zoo on the Boarder of the Woods and a Rather Large Looking Town. I made my way to the Front Gate only to find it Chained Shut with a sign hanging on it that read “Closed for Mating Season”.

I figured even if the Zoo wasn’t currently Open to the Public there still has to be a handful of Staff on the Premises to Clean, Feed, and Tend to the Care of the Zoo;s Animal Population. I scaled the Fence and let Myself In. As I explored the Zoo I gravitated over to the Penguin Enclosure since I personally think Penguins are Dope as Fuck.  I still had yet to locate a Staff Member and decided since I was already in the Zoo I may as well Treat Myself to a Round of Penguin Spotting.

I entered the Building that Housed the Penguin Enclosure and started to Look Around. As I was staring at a Colony of Emperor Penguins I became aware that for a Building Housing Penguins this One was Rather Warm, Yet the Snow/Ice in the Enclosure(s) was Melting in spite of the Above Average South Pole/North Pole / Arctic Temperatures. I simply Couldn’t get My head around it defied Science. I figured something had gone wrong technically maybe the Cooling System had Broken Down or was About or To something to that effect.

       

I searched around until I located the Access Door that lead Directly into the Actual Penguin Enclosure and once again let Myself in. As soon as I set foot into the Enclosure a Malicious Penguin Slide Tackled Me, and in Response I fell flat on My face in a Big Old Snow Bank. Just then a Second Penguin landed on My back knocking the Wind Out of Me. As I tried to Stand Breathing in Heavily in an attempt to Catch My Breath I inhaled a large Portion of the Snow Bank. Once I got to My Feet I realized this Snow was gritty like Sand, and no where Near Cold as it seemed to be Room Temperature.

A Second or Two later I felt a Rush of Energy that felt like NASA had Launched a Rocket up My Ass. I could hear My Hair Growing and there was a Low constant Humming in My Ears. I then became insanely aware of My Surroundings and started to become intensely Paranoid. I thought to Myself that perhaps this is what it was like to Loose One’s Mind as My Heart was Booming a Death Metal Band’s Bass Drum. I scrambled Frantically out of the Enclosure and bolted out of The Penguin House in Haste.

Once outside again I freaked the fuck Out as I became Overwhelmed by the Situation and remembered I was in fact Trespassing after Breaking an Entering. I knew I had to get the hell out of the Zoo no matter what before I got Arrested for My Illegal Shenanigans.  I started sprinting from Building to Building, Enclosure to Enclosure trying to find a Posted Map of the Zoo’s Layout.

Before I found One The Zoo was inundated with Militant DEA Agents wearing Bullet Proof Vests, Guns Drawn, and Their Badges swinging wildly around Their Necks from cheap Chains. I was apprehended immediately and taken into Custody. Luckily I managed to inform the Agents I wasn’t a Zoo Employee which They then Verified. They uncured Me and told Me to Remain where I was until instructed Further as I had already gotten in the Way of Their Drug Raid.

       

It turned out that the Zoo wasn’t closed for Mating Season as the sign stated, but it was Closed for Drug Smuggling. As it turned Out the Employees of the Zoo had a MASSIVE Meth Lab in the Basement of the Penguin House. As They Manufactured Kilo after Kilo of High Grade Crystal Meth the Hid it in Plain Sight by Masking Their Meth as Actual Snow.

In the End 37 Zoo Employees were Arrested in the Raid and the DEA Confiscated over 2 Tons of Amassed Crystal Meth making it the Biggest Meth Bust bu the DEA in Meth History.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober