This post is a Hats Off Tribute to Our favorite Small Independent BiWeekly Publication “The Dullard’s Digest” out of La Plant South Dakota with a Sparse Population of just 105.
The “The Dullard’s Digest” covers all things La Plant such as local happenings, community news, local government, Schools/Churches/Obituaries/Weddings, and all various local Odds and Ends such as The Yearly County Fair and the like.
Specifically for this post We decided to Showcase the Unusually Unique Advertisements found within the “The Dullard’s Digest” which are truly in a League of Their Own.
(If you make a reference to the movie Kill Yourself for High Crimes and Misdemeanors of And OR Being FUCKING LAME.)
So Let Us Begin With………
Pickler Pete’s Pickled Emporium
“Your Source For All Your Pickled Needs!”
Breakfast Bonanza Special:
1 Gallon of Edger’s Edibles Pickled Eggs,
1 Gallon Of Bryan Brine’s Pickled Sausages
And 1 Gallon of Vinegar Vally’s Pickled Pork Hocks
for The LOW, LOW PRICE OF $59.99
Introducing Pickled Pete’s BRAND NEW Luscious ALL VEGAN Line of Pickled FRUITS AND VEGETABLES:
” A FINE BRINE VEGAN” AVAILABLE NOW!! Guaranteed to be Green as fuck.
BOGO SALE! Quart Jar of Pickled Top Self Tofu for Just $9.99 HOW DEVINE!
Pickled Products make Kids Happy, Hearty, and Healthy! Puts MAD HAIR on Your Chest AND Genitals! Excellent Prevention for ANY and ALL of Ass Caners (Domestic OR Imported!) Stops Dolphin Rape, and aids The Coalition of Children Around The World Without Cocaine.
Try Our Pickler Pete’s Lovely Line of Pickled Goods for SENIORS! 4.25 Pound Jar of Pickled Prunes just $19.99 This Weekend ONLY!!
Clearance! Get 10 for $10 Get 10 lb. of Pickled Beets for $10!
The BarFly Bar and Lounge
Here’s Our Weekly Drink Special Run Down For This Week!
Mad Dog Mondays- Glass of Mad Dog 20/20 Fortified Wine for $1.50
MD 20/20 Flavors: Dragon Fruit, Purple Rain, Tangerine Dream, Banana Red, Peaches & Cream, Blue Raspberry, Buck Bunny, Cranberry, Electric Melon, Key Lime Pie, Kiwi Lemon, Lemon Ice, Orange Jubilee, Red Grape, Spiked Melon, Sour Apple, and Strawberry Kiwi.
Tequila Me Tuesday: $3 2 for 1 Shots of Pepe Lopez, Montezuma, & El Toro
Wet Your Whistle’s BEER BELLY BAR (All Beer Bar) with Specials On
Pitcher of Bud Light and Clamato $2.50
Bucket of Natty Ice or Natty Light for $6.00 (# of Cans 12)
24 oz Beers for a Buck: This week featuring Schlitz, Rolling Rock, & Olympia
40 0z Thursday Specials: Get a 40. oz of Colt .45, Old English 800, King Cobra, or St.Ides for $1.99!
FUBAR Fridays: MOON”Motherfucking”SHINE will put a smile on your face!
$12 Standard Mason Jars of: Proof Positive (609 Proof)
White Lightning White Whisky (619 Proof)
Ilikea Opossum Paul’s Moonshine Vodka (732 Proof)
RumRunner’s Moonshine Rum (882 Proof)
AND
Jimmy Crackcorn’s Corn Rye Moonshine. (976 Proof)
ALL DAY EVERCLEAR SPECIAL Evercleaf Cocktail $3.75
BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND……
SUPER SHOT Saturdays featuring Shot Specials!!!
.50 Cent Shots of Mr. Boston Blackberry Brandy, Canadian Club, Monarch Gin, and Old Grand-Dad
3 Finger for $3 Special on Oro Tequila, Gordon’s Gin or Southern Host
“God Save Me! “Sunday Hangover Breakfast is BACK AGAIN!
For all those idiots who drank their asses off the night before The Barfly offers a particular Breakfast known for its alleged Cure to the Hell of the Next Day’s Hangover, HAVE NO FEAR BARFLY SUNDAY BREAKFAST IS HERE!
This Week on the Menu- The Old Timer Special!
Consisted of: 12 oz Shank Steak, Spam Hash w/ Bacon, and 2 Slices of Pork Roll.
Served with a Side of Scrapple, a Pickler Pete’s 1,000 Year Old Pickled Egg
AND a 32 oz. PBR (Can) FOR ONLY $2.99!!!!
The Weisenheimer Theater and Movie Exchange:
Saturday Night Slaughterfest Featuring some of Your FAVORITE B-Horror Slasher Films!
This Weeks Triple Feature is:
“Shoot My Face Off I Like It” From the Demented Director of Denmark Emil Mikkel
“Disembowel Me as I Giggle” from Redound Japanese Horror Fanatic Akasuki Hiromasa
AND
“Copulating With Corpses” The U.S. Version of “Necrophilia Nights” from The Infamously Dark and Disturbed mind of Lithuania’s Master of Sheer Terror Von Dire
SHOW STARTS PROMPTLY AT THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT. COME IF YOUR DARE, BUT YOU MAY NOT LIVE TO TELL THE TALE!
FOREIGN FILM FRIDAYS featuring the finest Foreign Films from Liechtenstein, Guam, Antartica, Mongolia, South Africa, Fiji, and Turkey JUST FOR STARTERS!!
ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW AT MIDNIGHT EVER SUNDAY ALL YEAR!
AND REMEMBER Tuesday Night Troma is BACK AND BAD ASS!
All Troma Movies All Day Dawn to Dusk: Inquire about our Enema Express Pass Today and don’t miss a single moment of Troma’s Famous GORE! NUDITY! SEX JOKES! PUKE,PISS,and SHIT! All in the Name of Independent Cinema for OVER 42 YEARS and COUNTING! (Show Times: 1st Film Starts when the Theater Opens and Over after the Last one Plays before Closing!)
Coming Next TUESDAY!!!
COMING NEXT MONTH!
AND BE SURE NOT TO FORGET THE Weisenheimer’s WISEAU WEDNESDAY!
Every Wednesday This Year there will 6 showings (9am, 12 noon, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm and 12am) of the Notoriously Shitty Movie “The Room” by The Mysterious Tommy Wiseau.
“The Room” has been called by many The Worst Movie EVER MADE!
“The Room” had Movie Theaters posting “NO REFUNDS FOR THIS MOVIE” posters!
“The Room” One Critic’s Review Read “Watching This Movie is like Stabbing Yourself in the Brain REPEATEDLY!”
COME ONE, COME ALL Join us in the Rising Cult Following of Wiseau and “The Room”
Those were the ones we selected. Perhaps one day We will do this again, but Dunno.
Thanks for Reading,
Les Sober 