What the fuck killed customer service I ask you?! It was a sudden death by any means, but a long lingering demise whose death rattle has yet to shake the bed. Its bad enough that now a days they have those goddamn Automated Messages calling to try and sell me shit. Back in the day at least I had some satisfaction at being able to tell an actual human to fuck off. Now what am I supposed to do? Insult the fucking thing by telling it it’s mother is a Tape Recorder that eats 8 track ass? Ok enough of that tangent now back to the point.
When I was growing up a great thing was there was NO Automated Anything, and that includes when one had to call Customer Service for assistance. Today you have to deal with an Automated System that doesn’t understand what your saying, wastes 20 minutes of your time essentially going “I Don’t Understand” until your fucking insane, and then you get the option to speak to a living human being. Automation Menu’s aren’t the only change to Customer Service by a long shot.
Not only did I not have to deal with Automation Menus when I was younger, but the actual people I talked to were a far cry from the shit you have to deal with today. Back then the Customer Service Representatives damn well knew what Customer Service was. Look granted being in the Customer Service field fucking sucks big time because you have to spend 8 hours listing to people bitch and complain (or worse like curse you out or become insulting), but the fact is there are people who could and would do just that God bless them.
Its no secret that no matter what fucking job you have Cardiologist to Janitor at some point your going to have to Eat Shit (Its the same in one’s personal life as well). Eating Shit is an unavoidable part of Life, theres nothing you can do about it but o just accept it and go on living for Christ’s Sake. I mean why do you think the saying “Eat Shit” is woven into our modern-day lexicon to begin with (there is also the prevalent saying “Shit Happens” as well don’t forget) It could be argued at this point in time that the phrase Eat Shit is a Lingual Icon. I know this post as stayed a bit here and there, but Sit Happens and if you don’t dig that then Eat Shit.
Now back to the point…..
For all those tuning in late or just skimming this post I’m writing about the difference between Old School Customer Service Vs. The Bullshit Customer Service of Today. As I mentioned at the beginning the first abomination is the Automated System which accomplishes nothing but wasting 20 to 30 minutes of your time as it simultaneously frustrating the Caller to the point of actual insanity. Then once the Caller has run the complete Automated Gauntlet they have the ability to talk to a living person.
The First Customer Service Rep. sounds like fucking Eeyorre the clinically depressed Donkey from Winnie the Pooh. I can picture the fuckers sitting slouched down inter seats, shoulders hunched over, eyes half open staring vacantly at a Computer Screen, just waiting to fucking die right there at work no less. A Caller then has to battle this emotionless and utterly unhelpful Pion’s (who’s more than likely making a noose out of their headset chord to hang themselves from the Florescent Soul Sucking office lights) monotone malarkey before the consent to allowing the Caller to speak to an alternate human being.
The Second Customer Service Rep. is some asshole who sounds like he’s bored out of his fucking mind, despises their job, and seems annoyed that the caller is bothering them. The Caller now must combat this Slacker Mentality while getting next to no where to the point The Caller feels as though they are just torturing themselves, and wonder is this shit worth it?!! If the Caller can get past this Snarky, Snide, and Often rather Rude individual asshole The Caller can advance to the next Customer Rep.
The Third Customer Rep turns out to be a throw back to the Golden Age of Customer Service. These Rep.’s are polite and professional, and this makes them extremely helpful as they can usually solve most problems rather quickly. If there is a larger issue at hand these Rep.’s will stay on the phone doing anything and everything they can until the problem is resolved. And even in the few rarer cases if after doing all they possible can to actually help a Caller they will leave you with a recommendation on how to further proceed because they really do want to help. The Rep.’s are the true blue backbone of the dying Customer Service Field, and Bless these Blissful Beings to the Four Corner’s of the Earth.
My final point is this the Companies that hire the first two types of Customer Service Reps to fucking begin with. Its enough bullshit to endure the Automated Assault, but then to follow it with yet another 2 shit shows. This is why I’m fucking sick of Big Companies/Corporations whining and crying like spoiled brats that there is no more Employee or Customer Loyalty. If you want more motherfucking money PROVIDE BETTER FUCKING CUSTOMER SERVICE, Because Without Customer’s Your No Longer a Business Man Your An UNEMPLOYED ASSHOLE.
Thanks For Reading,
Les Sober 