Its that time of Year Folks. Time for the Washington Post’s MENSA INVITATIONAL once again.
Members of the Public are invited to take ANY WORD from the Dictionary. The the Public was asked to ALTER THE WORD They picked by Adding, Subtracting, OR by Change One Letter.
Once the Word is Altered the Person must PROVIDE A NEW DEFINITION for the Altered Word.
Obviously We love Words We’re Writers. Words are the preverbal Tools of The Trade as “They”say. Words can Build Kingdoms or Destroy Empires. Without Words Mankind would live in a Silent World of Primitive Charades accented by Grunts.
Absurdity is a Extremely Versatile Tool it can Be Used for Creativity or Mockery. It allows the Reader to See things from FAR DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES that were invisible to said reader Prior to Reading.
We fully believe the Cliche “The Pen is Mightier Than The Sword” because You Can’t Kill Written Ideas, Thoughts, or Concepts nearly as easily as a Singular Human Being.
So without a Further Edu Here are 17 THE WINNERS of The Washington Post’s MENSA INVITATIONAL 2019 in No Particular Order.
- Cashtration (n): The act of Buying a House, which renders the Subject Finically Impotent for a Indefinite Period of Time.
- Ignoranus: A Person who’s BOTH Stupid and an Asshole
- Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a Tax Refund which lasts until You realize it was YOUR MONEY TO START WITH.
- Reintarnation: Coming Back to Life as a Hillbilly.
- Bozone (n): The Substance surrounding Stupid People that stops Bright Ideas from Penetrating. The Bozone Layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of Breaking Down in the Near Future.
- Foreploy: Any Misrepresentation about Yourself for the Purpose of getting Laid.
- Giraffitit: Vandalism Spray Painted VERY, VERY HIGH.
- Sarchasm: The Gulf between the Author of Sarcastic Wit and the Person Who DOESN’T GET IT.
- Inoculatte: To take Coffee Intravenously when You are Running Late.
- Osteopornosis: A Degenerate Disease (This one got Extra Credit as it Should)
- Karmageddon:Its ike when Everybody is sending off all these really Bad Vibes, right? And then. like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious Bummer.
- Decafalon (n): The Grueling Event of getting through the Day consuming ONLY Things that are Good for You.
- Glibido: All Talk and NO Action.
- Doppeler Effect: The Tendancy of Stupid Ideas to seem Smarter when They come at You Rapidly.
- Arachnoleptic Fit (n): The Frantic Dance preformed just after You’ve accidentally walked through a Spider’s Web.
- Beelzebug (n): Satan in the Form of a Mosquito, that gets into Your Bedroom at 3 in the Morning and CONNOT be Cast Out.
- Caterpallar (n): The color You turn after finding half a Worm in the Fruit You’re Eating.
This List is a SPLENDID EXAMPLE of What is Possible When One isn’t Possessed by Social Media or Flappy Dappy Doodle Crush. Thinking IS an Exercise NO ONE wants to do Now a Days. Its all Point Click Stare Blankly at for Hours. Its the reason I sign off EACH POST with “Thanks for Reading” because it not just about Reading MY POST, But just Reading in General as opposed to Asinine App.
Thanks for Reading,
Brought to You By Les Sober